The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Also to those thinking that it’s so hard to even think about 30 days let alone 6 years believe me I get it. I NEVER intended on being sober for this long. I really wanted to learn how to drink like a lady. I did try controlled drinking experiments and failed every time.
My biggest suggestion is to stay in today, stay on the hour or minute if you have to. Ask your God or higher power to remove the obsession and go do something productive or something for someone else.
Big hugs my sober friends or those who wish to seek sobriety. If drinking is a serious issue for you know there is a solution and a design for living that works!!15 -
Today I celebrate 6 years of continuous sobriety. Six years ago I was at an all time low emotionally and my only way to cope with life was drinking to blackout. Even when drinking was fun it was never in moderation.
I’m so grateful I had a mustard seed of willingness to try something different. Today I’m living my very best life SOBER. I’ve walked through cancer sober, issues with a severely special needs child sober, lots of other life events that would warrant a drink but I’ve remained sober.
If drinking is an issue for you know there is a solution. I’m happy to help you find help if you want it. Just message me.
My opinion on NA beer is it’s a very slippery slope and there is still alcohol in NA beer. If one is an alcoholic like I am I cannot consume NA beer. Just like I can’t drink mocktails. It’s too triggering. I just drink water and coffee. Grateful today for my life and sobriety.
Congratulations! Six years is amazing and well earned - you've overcome, triumphed , coped and lived life head on.
Eyes wide open. I'm so happy for you and very proud of you. Xo3 -
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@whitpauly, I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. Wishing you peace and comfort. I’m glad you’re here.
@tifano, thank you for sharing your experience and insight.
I’m thankful that so far I’m feeling delighted not to be drinking. That’s never happened before. I think it’s from reading a number of writers who focus on a changed mindset toward alcohol, especially dispelling the myth that alcohol is something to yearn for rather than a prison to escape from. Telling myself I don’t have to drink rather than I don’t get to drink has made a huge difference.
The NA beer is still a question for me. It’s all about taste, not a desire for alcohol. But I don’t want to be foolish. I’ve been reading about how craft brewers are finding a growing group of non-drinking customers who want a really tasty product. If they can manipulate the process in such a way as to create a delicious NA beverage I might want to go there. Meanwhile it’s Pellegrino all the way.5 -
@donimfp Have you tried flavored carbonated water?. Nestle or PC & other brands flavor it with lemon, lime, raspberry, cranberry etc in some really yummy combos. I have no problem drinking it as is, but sometimes mix it with 1/4 cup of cranberry juice or some other juice to give it a wee bit of sweetness.
My drink of choice was always dry red wine, but on a hot summer day I also liked having an ice cold beer. I don't think I'd chance the NA beer personally just cause that's me....With beer I loved the ice cold fizz & can get the same effect from carbonated water.4 -
@lorrainequiche59, thanks and yes I drink LaCroix sometimes.
So interesting . . . I checked out the Sober Mummy blog for the first time tonight and the first (latest) topic was NA beer, wine, spirits. The consensus seemed to be that they are a lifeline for some people and dangerous for others. A couple expressed my desire for a non- sweet alternative that had more flavor than water.2 -
I don't know why ginger beer has to have the word beer to it. I find it irritating, lol. I am going to make some myself sometime. I have the ginger already. It is basically fresh ginger, sweetener of some sort and carbonated water. I can have it in a glass if I want to. I personally won't go near something labled non-alcoholic. It seems to be more and more on the displays lately in the stores, ugh. It is just too scary for me. I just can't risk how good that I have it now.1
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@whitpauly I am sorry for your terrible loss. I am glad you are here with us and hopefully you feel supported in this group.
As far as NA beers are concerned, again, I was NOT a beer drinker but I can definitely see it being a slippery slope. I have tried NA wines in the past and they are terrible (to me) but more importantly I feel those MIGHT trigger a relapse I am avoiding them. My current DOC (drink of choice) is LaCroix with a splash of a cranberry/blood orange juice. ooooo it is refreshing! I put it in a pretty glass with a lime wedge and feel quite fancy.5 -
@whitpauly my heart is very sad over you and your beautiful brother. It will be hard working through it and something you will never totally be done with. As you have found out, like I have, drinking lies and promises to help you deal with it, but only delays the process. If there are Griefshare groups at the churches where you are, they helped me a lot with losing my son. I can't say enough about what I have learned and some great lifelong friends I have met that have had all kinds of losses. Many of them have been siblings, too. There is just something about being around others going through similar situations, like this group, that helps sometimes. ❤6
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Here is a link to Clare Pooley's blog. I found the March 2 entry, aimed at newbies to sobriety like me, to be a nice, succinct summary of what I'm going through now. I agree that for me, the difference this time is that I am excited about freedom from alcohol vs. dreading having to "give up" something important to me.
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2018-03-22T01:51:00-07:00&max-results=3&start=12&by-date=false1 -
Thanks Doni, I just read that! I agree one of the BEST thing about being sober is the quality of my sleep! I had been walking around sleep deprived for years. Now I bounce out of bed with a pep in my step. It's great!6
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salleewins wrote: »I don't know why ginger beer has to have the word beer to it. I find it irritating, lol. I am going to make some myself sometime. I have the ginger already. It is basically fresh ginger, sweetener of some sort and carbonated water. I can have it in a glass if I want to. I personally won't go near something labled non-alcoholic. It seems to be more and more on the displays lately in the stores, ugh. It is just too scary for me. I just can't risk how good that I have it now.
because that's how it's made. like root beer.1 -
Please can i join this thread? i have been AF since Monday 9th July, I was having bad weekend binges due to stress and so far im not looking back.
My skin is so much better, at the weekends i feel great and not hungover, i'm always up for a workout and i have loads of energy xx11 -
Blessings to all, and a big yay to the idea that sober / AF which I keep reading as "Sober as *kitten*", is a good place to be. Me, for many really good reasons, for 33 years this month. Sober gives me all the choices that alcohol was busy taking away. It felt like a loss or limitation at first, but believe me ... it doesn't now.
I especially love how much less complicated weight loss and maintenance are without saving calories for rocket fuel.8 -
@Pardyqueenxoxo, welcome! Since July 9 is a great run!!
@brightresolve, I like that: "Sober gives me all the choices that alcohol was busy taking away.:" Well put! Kate at The Sober School says, "Sobriety delivers what alcohol [falsely] promises," as in relaxation, peace, anxiety reduction, etc.8 -
Welcome to the new faces! I hope you enjoy our non judgemental and supportive group!5
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The process of drinking is pushed on us from a young age " I am all grown up" to its a party lets drink etc. the mind set is good friends good times, alcohol and that's marketing plain and simple. Being all grown up means controlling your life and choices, having fun means being of clear mind to appreciate what you are doing and feeling great means waking up the next morning knowing what where and how the night went and not having raging hangovers that rob you of most of the days following.
Being AF is not a punishment you are fostering on yourself but a normal natural way to live
Beautifully put!!!
I'm up to 6 and a half months without alcohol.
You descibed me, thinking I was all grown up, till thirty years later realising the party was just me doing the same thing every day and trying to shut off my conscience about drinking daily by drinking daily.
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Welcome, Orphia! Great to see you here!
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I just dropped in the see what was happening after a wonderful day I swam early this morning. I had an appointment with a cardiac clinic thru a local hospital where they told me I was great for a younger man exceptional for a 70 YO went for a 5 mile run and a fitness class and was pretty happy.
I get here and open the site and read some posts and then I notice on the bottom of the page an ad which I must say Piss*d me off
Why on the bottom of this site is an AD Drinking too much wine and it invites us to moderate without quitting completely, is this mindless computer ads or something more I feel it doesn't belong here
How about a cigarette ad in a cancer ward can someone say inappropriate
@Orphia great job on the 6 and a half months that's really being grown up. You are describing me from when I was 16 till I was 60, I am just glad I survived to enjoy the last 10 years of improving health6 -
34 days so far AF7
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@Pardyqueenxoxo WOOHOO AF since July 9
@Brightresolve 33 years OMG!!
@Orphia 6.5 months YAY!!
@AndyWR72 34 days so far...SO Good!!
@Ke22yB Awesome how you've overcome so much & totally amped up your health!!
All very inspiring to me as is everyone on this thread. It isn't the length of sobriety, but the commitment to break free & live healthier. That's success!! 7 -
Thanks to @JenT304 for creating this thread and for the support that each person provides. At day 19, I am realizing that being AF is dramatically improving the quality of my days. I am sleeping longer and more soundly than I have slept in years. Waking up with a clear head is a wonderful way to start the day. Hitting the gym and making good food choices is easier. I have been logging in daily to MFP because it is easier to face when I don't have to admit to those wine calories. Weight that I have been trying to take off for years is finally beginning to come off. I feel like I am finally fulfilling a promise that I have been making to myself to be healthy mentally, physically and spiritually.9
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I used to be so embarrassed by my recycling bin filled with wine bottles that I actually put some in the trash where it was bagged and hidden. Has anyone else done that? Now my bin is much lighter. @hwg63 Welcome and congratulations on 19 days! I am inspired by each and every one of you here!6
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I used to be so embarrassed by my recycling bin filled with wine bottles that I actually put some in the trash where it was bagged and hidden. Has anyone else done that? Now my bin is much lighter. @hwg63 Welcome and congratulations on 19 days! I am inspired by each and every one of you here!
YES YES YES!! I remember one time in particular when I was dog sitting/house sitting for a client & rather than put ALL of my MANY wine bottles with their collection to take back for a refund, I put several in the recycle so that they wouldn't know how much I actually drank while living there. I didn't care if the recycle guys saw a bunch in the bin because, it wasn't my bin LOL
Interestingly, & embarrassingly the next door neighbor commented to me that "those bottles are worth money you know" Even though I had split my bottles between recycle & the return collection, there were still quite a few in the recycle bin...enough to be embarrassed about anyway. I just nonchalantly suggested that he take them back for the deposit $$ if he'd like...realizing I had been outed!! LOL Then I stressed about him telling my client about my recycling faux paus & then being outed AGAIN when they saw all the extras in their take back collection!!!
That was yet another indicator to me that I really did have a problem when I was trying to hide my stash....I tried to tell myself, "Who CARES!!!" Not realizing that I actually DO care!! I'm am SO glad I do care now!!
Hope everyone has a wonderful day...Just an FYI, I'm on Day 7 of Annie Grace's experiment & today's blurb is about negative self talk....to counteract & form new pathways in our brains she suggested when that negative voice we all have that says nasty stuff to us about ourselves starts gabbing it's helpful to replace the thoughts & begin to think of 3-5 things that we are grateful for....fake it till we make it even if that doesn't seem the natural thing to do. So when my Negative Nelly AKA my Evil Twin Lurleen starts her negative rant & tries to pull me down I have a solution!!
Annie actually suggests personifying your negative voice & naming it as if it's another person. So if I refer to Lurleen in any of my comments, you'll know who I'm referring to LOL
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I used to be so embarrassed by my recycling bin filled with wine bottles that I actually put some in the trash where it was bagged and hidden. Has anyone else done that? Now my bin is much lighter. @hwg63 Welcome and congratulations on 19 days! I am inspired by each and every one of you here!
I live in Vegas and there's a lot of homeless that scrounge for cans and bottles in trash cans,there was this older couple who used to make a beeline to my house on trash day to grab all the empty tall cans so embarrassing! Now I'm proud to say they've moved on to houses down the street and avoid mine,yay!7 -
Last night was my first "nightmare" where I was drinking alcohol. I was so relieved when I woke up. Whew!
Speaking of recycling, our cans/bins are in the alley behind our house. Our neighbor is a really nice single guy--probably late 30s. Every afternoon I hear him dump his glass recycling into his bin. My guess is that it's lots of beer bottles. I always hope he's ok. My husband always takes out our recycling, so I was kind of an ostrich about it, but who knows what neighbors have noticed a difference and what they think.
AF living is good. Today is day 24. My only thing is these weird little waves of what feels like depression keep wafting over me. They go away. I'm not depressed "about" anything in particular. Again, I guess it's just a chemical thing related to changes in my brain because these are not normal for me. They are a small price to pay, though.7 -
it does take awhile for brain chemistry to learn to stand on it's own. and sometimes, the alcohol has been the solution to issues. so if you still have issues, or feelings, or chronic feeling that you don't fit in your skin, and you stop using alcohol to feel better, you still need to find a new solution. if that makes sense. it did in my head7
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it does take awhile for brain chemistry to learn to stand on it's own. and sometimes, the alcohol has been the solution to issues. so if you still have issues, or feelings, or chronic feeling that you don't fit in your skin, and you stop using alcohol to feel better, you still need to find a new solution. if that makes sense. it did in my head
@mbaker566 Yes, well said.
@donimfp Can I suggest the Self-care challenge? (Sorry if you're already in it, my challenge friends are spreading their roots.
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Also, were you tired for some reason? That will give me some wafts of negative thoughts.
I'll spam you with my motto:
Challenge your thoughts. Don't believe everything you think.5 -
I don’t have down mood swings much anymore but I can get some. I have a good gym downstairs if I have mood swings I head downstairs and work out break a sweat which then makes me feel a shower is necessary. After the shower feeling good mood better and I am smiling again5
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