Some tips for your day

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Replies

  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Never Walk by a Pigeon Coup with an Owl in Your Pocket
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Stay calm eat pie
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  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,022 Member
    mustacheU2Lift wrote: »
    Making a goofy face in pics no one can tell if you are cute or not or your age...better than filters ...youre welcome
    I understand now.... ;)
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    go to Starbucks and order an extra tall, grande venti

    when the cashier asks for your name to write on the cup, give her a name without any vowels and then wait for the other barista to call out your drink order

    I usually tell them my name is spelled: P-T-L-M-D

    then explain it's a traditional family name from the old country
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Maybe just do nothing but observe sometimes.
  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    Some say smoking kills? Save the environment, start smoking
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Patterns are basically blue prints.
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  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Those calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Use The Metal Part Of Your Seat Belt To Open Beers While Driving

    64evk408cfhm.jpg
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    If you are going to name your daughter Amanda, be cool enough to make her middle name Panda.

  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Humility, honesty, apologies and walking the walk go a long way, well with anyone.
  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    You can save up to 50% if you use both sides of the toilet paper!
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    Use The Metal Part Of Your Seat Belt To Open Beers While Driving

    64evk408cfhm.jpg

    I laughed out loud. For realz.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Machafin wrote: »
    You can save up to 50% if you use both sides of the toilet paper!

    I subscribe to the one sheet method:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua0YCM35cik
  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    Commit a crime to get on house arrest. Now you can legally cancel plans
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  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    Start every phone call with "My battery is about to die," so you can hang up on them at anytime!
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
    Throw catalogues in the trash as soon as you get them. You'll never want what you don't see.
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Machafin wrote: »
    Start every phone call with "My battery is about to die," so you can hang up on them at anytime!

    I'm just gonna say "I'm about to die!" Just to see what their final words will be to me. 🤔
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Machafin wrote: »
    Start every phone call with "My battery is about to die," so you can hang up on them at anytime!

    Doing this :)
  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    College Tips for Guys:

    1. Enroll in History of Women
    2. First day of class, raise hand
    3. Say "I just want to say that I think history is too much of HIS Story. I'm here for HERstory. I look forward to a great class."
    4. Sit Down
    5. Collect phone numbers.
  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    Gonorrhea would have been a great name for Diarrhea medicine.
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    if you need to lose that last little bit of weight, just go through your significant other's phone, you'll be sick in no time.
  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    If you hate showing up for work every week, develop a house life so toxic that makes going to work seem like an 8 hour vacation.
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  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    LMNOP55 wrote: »
    When it gets cold, my tips are obvious.

    Mine too.
  • Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings Posts: 5,545 Member
    The only way out, is through.
  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    https://i.redd.it/1ycv1dqjkzi11.jpg

    Make hotel worker's lives interesting.

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