The Healthier Me: My Journey from 600lbs

justintorres2012

22 Days ago, in the middle of the night, I waddled to the bathroom. I did my business and looked into the mirror as I washed my hands. Out of breath and miserable, I yelled, "Stop!". I looked deep into my eyes and yelled it again. I got closer to the mirror, "What are you doing?", I said with tear-filled eyes. I stood there, just mean mugging myself. Upset and just done, I pulled myself together and waddled back to my bed.
I struggled to get in the right position, so as not to die from being suffocated by my own fat. I closed my eyes and could feel the four double cheeseburgers, fries, pizza, taco sub and what every else I ate that day just sitting there in my stomach, pushing on all my organs. It was a reminder that bingeing is so not worth it in the end. I laid there depressed, alone, morbidly obese, and ready for the day to be over. I remember drifting off to sleep with the image of my eyes in the mirror looking back at me. They had been filled with so much pain, anger, sadness, and tears.
Morning came quickly. Something was different, but could not pinpoint it. I was content, somewhat happy, and determined. Something clicked in my mind that made starting a new lifestyle easy and necessary. I knew deep in my soul and in the furthest part of my mind that it was now or never. Never being the alternative, death.
I reached for my phone and called the mother of my child, who also happens to be my ex, my friend, and my current caregiver. I told her I was ready and needed to start today. I asked her to go shopping at this place in town called Power Plate Meals (PPM). They prepare healthy meals that are ready to go or frozen. They just so happened to be having a $5 per frozen meal special that week. I had her get me twenty some to get started.
The for two and a half weeks I eat 2 PPM, 1 cooked meal, and dried fruit for snacks a day. The PPM' averaged anywhere from 350 - 450 in calories. They were also high in protein. They were amazing! I was not sure if it was them or the connection in my head that was making me not hungry. The meal I cooked was normally two Egg and Ham English Muffins. My total calories for the day were 1600 - 2200. I was getting through the days without hunger.
Now being 613 pounds, I can eat like 3,400ish calories in a day to lose the 2 pounds a week. But with the type of food, I had been eating that was not going to happen. I was too full! So I just keep doing what was feeling right. I was drinking tons of water as well. Each day I felt lighter and healthier. It was getting easier to waddle around and stand up. I also have lymphedema of the legs. My right leg has a very large edema mass. My left leg is not as big. Both Legs are at the stage that is not reversible, but parts of the legs of started shrinking.
Due to the cost of the PPM (Not on sale $8-$10 each), I have since had to come up with my own meals. With the help of my caregiver, I create the low calorie, high protein, and of course low-cost recipes. She prepares and portions them, so all I have to do is heat them up. I do help where I can when making meals, any movement is exercise.
So now I'm eating three of my Home Made Power Plate Meals (HMPPM) a day. The best part of starting with PPM is that the containers they come in are reusable. So it feels like I'm still doing them and it's very convenient. The HMPPM calorie range is 300 - 500. They are also high in protein. I am working at getting the sodium down in each meal as well, but one thing at a time. My Crust-less Pot Pie is huge and filling and comes in at a whopping 300 calories!
Ok, well that is my story up to now. It's Day 22 and I'm feeling amazing. I don't know how much I have lost but it feels and looks like 30-40 pounds. I have an appointment on the 27th of September, 2018. I am so excited to go. Not sure if I'm more excited that I will be getting out of my house that I have been a prisoner in for the past nine months or seeing how much I have lost. I have come to learn that it can't be about the number. We put so much stress on ourselves because of that number. It needs to be about the way you feel.
I know I'm only 22 days in, but something is different this time around. I have woke up every day feeling better. Feeling like my life is worth living. I wake up every morning excited to be alive. Being able to move around without almost passing out from not being able to breathe. I know I'm still 500 some pounds, but every pound I drop gives my body a break from caring around over half a ton of fat.
I plan to update my story as my Journey to The Healthier Me continues...

kdillon606

I look forward to watching you succeed! Good luck! We are all in it together!

orngnerdz

I completely understand the idea of something clicking! For years I didn't take care of myself but one day I decided that I was done being lazy and I've been working hard since June! Stay positive and motivation will come! Excited to see what will come next for you!

sublimerain9642

Thank you for sharing your story- I needed the inspiration badly today. I know you will succeed, and look forward to your progress.

prettygirlstorm1

Good for you!!! Keep up the good work!!!

quiksylver296

Fantastic! We are all cheering you on!

And if you hit a slump, come read MFP threads (especially Success Stories), to keep you going.

justintorres2012

Thank You guys for the positive feedback!

VUA21

justintorres2012 wrote: »

Thank You guys for the positive feedback!

Awesome! Bookmarking this.

cathipa

Great commitment so far! Keep going!

urloved33

great work - keep coming back!!!

dhiammarath

Good luck! More than any motivation, good habits and perseverance will see you through any bumps along the road. You're amazing for changing your life as change is often the hardest thing about making a difference. Wear out your trails and find new ones to blaze in this adventure called life. Always remember, don't try to climb the mountain in one giant step, focus on the next step until you'll get there one day and realize you've hit the summit.

You've got a great plan going on here! You can do it!

cheryldumais

So happy for you! Keep going 22 days is amazing.

Jackie9003

You are amazing, taking that first step is a battle all on its own. I'd like to follow your story, do keep us updated.

puffbrat

Good for you! I loved reading this. I look forward to following your journey.

bethruschdonohue

Thank you for your honest story. I look forward to hearing more. We are here to support you. Keep going! You're doing great!!

bpotts44

Keep it up buddy. You are literally saving your own life.

Mercerld

Keep it up man! You got this.

snowflake954

Will be anxious to follow your story. Best of luck for your future. Never give up!

danielleconn474

Looking forward to September 27th for you, can't wait for updates! So happy & excited for you!

jdubois5351

I totally get what you mean about something clicking in your head. I only have about 40 lbs to lose, but I've kind of resigned myself to being heavy for the rest of my life. Then something changed, and I still can't really define what it is/was. Since then (92 days), my life has definitely changed.

You have quite the journey ahead of you, but you sound like you've pretty much got it together! I congratulate you on taking back your life. I also bookmarked the thread - can't wait to hear your updates!

lorrpb

This is going to become one of the great MFP success stories. I believe you have had that mental shift and will see this through to goal. When I got discouraged losing 150, I read the stories of those who had lost much more. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it and easier than staying overweight. Yesterday I went on my first bike ride in 30+ years!

elisa123gal

You've got us all on the edges of our seats cheering you on! You are off to a great start and I can't wait to see what good things happen next.

nutmegoreo

Please do keep updating. You can do it. I'm happy you have support at home, and the community here is also incredibly supportive. For some additional inspiration:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10394510/the-ultimate-success-stories-guide/p1

rdmitch

Thank you for sharing, consider us your cheerleaders. Here to support you at every turn you make.
Looking forward to watching your progress and motivating us all.

singingflutelady

Awesome job!

siobhanaoife

Please keep us posted! I'm down 175+ by taking it a day at a time, just like you We're rooting for you!

AliNouveau

Wow what a story. Good for you for deciding to change. What a wonderfuk beginning to a new and exciting chapter of your life

BeautyDoll

Stay focused but most of all... ENJOY THE JOURNEY! You can do it!

countcurt

It's a good place to be in when that light bulb moment occurs. Here are a couple of thoughts-


1. Be careful about undereating. While your weight loss will definitely accelerate, if you're much above losing 1% of your body weight per week you run the risk of losing significantly more lean body mass (such as muscle). You can also, believe it or not, develop nutritional deficiencies.
2. I know money is tight, and I know it's 'not about the number'. Right now these are both good reasons to not focus on the scale. OTOH, I suggest starting to figure out a way to weigh yourself regularly. At this point, monthly may be reasonable, and if you can get to the doctor, most would allow you to use the scale without having to have an appointment. Presuming your doctor's office has a scale that can accommodate you. Once your weight is below 550, there are home scales in the $50-$70 range that could accommodate. At some point, the information you get from the scale will be very useful. (it's really about the information more than the number). Plus, studies show that when you get to a maintenance weight, research has shown daily weighing to be a tool many successful maintainers use. Starting to see the number as nothing more than a piece of useful information takes time and so getting into the habit of regular weighing helps with that.
3. There will likely be times when this isn't so 'easy'. That's true for many (if not all) of us who are or have been significantly overweight. These are the 'true grit' moments. They are moments you can master and control, but you should not be alarmed or concerned when they occur.


I wish you good luck. I know, it's not about luck, it's about hard work and perseverance. But, really, a little luck always helps.

Womanofworth12

Keep up the great work and you got this!

kristingjertsen

My mom always said, "You cannot make another person change. People change when the consequences of not changing get too painful to endure. Then all you need to do is get out of their way and cheer them on." Sounds like you reached that moment. Congratulations! I am so happy you have found a way to make your life better. This is not a sprint, but a marathon. If you have a setback, put it in your past and keep moving forward. I am so proud of what you are doing to make your life better!