Is this guy just super friendly or is he asking me out?
Replies
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Not sure if you have explained to him you are not comfortable with the big group thing, but you definitely need to do that, so he understands why you're declining his invites!! That being said, you do need to hang out with him more, I think that would be the only way to find out, without asking. Best of luck!!8
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tinkerhellraiser wrote: »you could get drunk and come on to him and if he turns you down blame the liquorPour_Decisions wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him?
I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
I agree with this. I would just do it nonchalantly. So the next time he asks you out say "Okay I'll go out this time but don't try hitting on me, because I might like that
" Or something to that effect...and see what he says. OR the drunk idea is good too. 
i gotta veto the drunk idea.
he might be, yknow, like an actual nice guy who would "turn her down" after she'd had a drink or two, just because he felt like it'd be wrong you know-
*not* because he didn't like her.
if that happens she's gonna be in an even more confusing predicament
+12 -
Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him? I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
But... okay... real talk: Anytime I have ever asked for a "define the relationship" talk with a guy-- even when I was legit dating them, it seemed to just stifle the relationship. It's like guys suddenly just choke under the pressure of having to define it and having to live up to the definition. And I have NEVER in my life asked for anyone to make a greater commitment than where we were actually at... just to define what was going on.
Not speaking for allll guys here.. but seems like guys are just this way. Sorry guys. You get all excited about someone, shower them in attention then cave under the pressure that you yourselves set up.
I would be afraid that asking him to define something too soon would stifle what might be beginning. Maybe I just have to sit uncomfortably with the mystery for a while.
OMG No!! Don't ask him to define anything. Just start flirting with him and make it obvious that you're interested.
ETA: That is definitely the kind of stuff that will scare a man off and send him running for the hills. No need to define anything at this point.
HAHAHA okay! Thank you for that distinction! I can totally flirt! I thought we were asking for me to DTR... and I just don't think we are there yet!1 -
breefoshee wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him? I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
But... okay... real talk: Anytime I have ever asked for a "define the relationship" talk with a guy-- even when I was legit dating them, it seemed to just stifle the relationship. It's like guys suddenly just choke under the pressure of having to define it and having to live up to the definition. And I have NEVER in my life asked for anyone to make a greater commitment than where we were actually at... just to define what was going on.
Not speaking for allll guys here.. but seems like guys are just this way. Sorry guys. You get all excited about someone, shower them in attention then cave under the pressure that you yourselves set up.
I would be afraid that asking him to define something too soon would stifle what might be beginning. Maybe I just have to sit uncomfortably with the mystery for a while.
IMHO if this is what he does....BOY BYE. Ain't nobody got time for that.
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tinkerhellraiser wrote: »you could get drunk and come on to him and if he turns you down blame the liquorPour_Decisions wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him? I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
I agree with this. I would just do it nonchalantly. So the next time he asks you out say "Okay I'll go out this time but don't try hitting on me, because I might like that " Or something to that effect...and see what he says. OR the drunk idea is good too.
i gotta veto the drunk idea.
he might be, yknow, like an actual nice guy who would "turn her down" after she'd had a drink or two, just because he felt like it'd be wrong you know-
*not* because he didn't like her.
if that happens she's gonna be in an even more confusing predicament
Good point. Drunk works for me, but may not work for all . I've mastered the art of damage control the next morning. 
But yeah....don't put yourself through that.
Disclaimer: I sure hope people can read my sarcasm.2 -
breefoshee wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him? I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
But... okay... real talk: Anytime I have ever asked for a "define the relationship" talk with a guy-- even when I was legit dating them, it seemed to just stifle the relationship. It's like guys suddenly just choke under the pressure of having to define it and having to live up to the definition. And I have NEVER in my life asked for anyone to make a greater commitment than where we were actually at... just to define what was going on.
Not speaking for allll guys here.. but seems like guys are just this way. Sorry guys. You get all excited about someone, shower them in attention then cave under the pressure that you yourselves set up.
I would be afraid that asking him to define something too soon would stifle what might be beginning. Maybe I just have to sit uncomfortably with the mystery for a while.
yeah i think the general rule of thumb to follow is, don't ask for a definition unless you're prepared for the definition, whatever it may be (it may not be the one you like).
and if you're not yet sure which "definition" you'd like, then you shouldn't ask the question yet either.2 -
breefoshee wrote: »Okay so... humor me for a little while...This is "reading into things" and "overthinking at it's finest and ultimately, only time will tell what this guy is thinking. But what else do you have to do today?
About 5 Months ago I meet... let's call him Pete. At the time, I had just moved home and was seeing someone... so Pete and I were really just instant friends. We like all the same shows, my really good friend is married to his really good friend, and he was just an easy conversation. If there was a get together at our friend's house, we would both go and end up being the last ones to leave.
I had zero romantic interest on my end and really just thought he was a cool guy. He liked another girl and so we all would just talk about our prospective relationships, what we should do, and give each other advice. So... no real reason to think that he was interested.... and I wasn't either.
So couple months after we met, I stopped seeing the other guy and Pete started messaging me. No big deal at first.... just a few messages a week about a show I had recommended or something random. He started inviting me to different social events he was attending-- but it was vague. It wasn't like "I want you as my date to such and such place"... more like "I'm going to this super fun event and you, also, should attend!"
We continued seeing each other weekly at our mutual friends house. I told him that I had a friend from China and he happened to be going there... so he asked if we could all meet up for coffee so he could ask her some questions.
He started calling me to arrange this meeting. So we went and it was great... just him and I with her and her husband. Then after meeting for coffee he called to discuss how it went... but each time our conversation lasted a little longer.. 1-2 hours. Late at night. So.. fine... I mean... I talk to my girl friends for hours all the time. It doesn't have to mean anything. AND-- he sometimes calls me "dude" which to me says "friendzone!"
Still, he invites me to thing after thing-- I've only gone to 2 because BIG groups of people I don't know are overwhelming to me and I don't want to smoother him the whole time because he would be the only person I know.
But I can't tell if this is all just him being super friendly or if he is hitting on me or hoping for this to go somewhere!
So the last thing: about 2 weeks ago he left for China. The day before he left, he asked if I would watch his plants for him. So... of course, I did... I went over to his house to get the plants and he ends up asking me to look at all these paintings he painted. We end up hanging out for a good 2 hours, chatting about pretty deep things. I take the plants and he goes to China.
He came back on Sunday and I still have his plants. So we texted a little when he first got back then he calls last night to ask if I wanted to go to a social event with him. Again, I say "no" because I can't tell if it's supposed to be a date or if it's a "come and meet the whole world" type of thing... which just isn't my picnic.
Then he says "Oh um... okay." and sounds kind of dissappointed... then he says "Well, let's hang out this weekend." But because I'm the most awkward person alive... I.... pause... because I don't want to say "yes" and it just be another big social event. And in the middle of my pause, he says " I mean.. you don't have to.. it's okay. " Then I just ramble on about my weekend plans and the fact that I have nothing going on... and sure I'd like to hang out. So he says "Okay cool! I'll ask around and see what everyone is doing."
So. Maybe I'm just old fashioned and I haven't been very successful at the whole "guys as best friends" thing. But would you be reading into this? What do you think? Just a friend or wanting more? I actually can't say whether or not I even like him as more than a friend... I'm just trying to gauge the situation so that I know what my actions should be. UGH helpppp, myfitnesspall!
It's hard to tell with only this info. You could ask him directly? Having a good friend is never a bad thing, and that way you don't always have to question his motives.
This⬆. Surely you and Pete are friends to the point of honesty? Imo men tend to be forthright and straight shooters. If they want to change the course of your friendship, he will let you know.
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CookingWithCumin wrote: »Serious answer:
Ask him to come and make an account on MfP. If you guys both hit it off in fun and games and both tag each other in smash threads you know it’s true love.
But what if I say "DATE" and he says "PASS"?2 -
tinkerhellraiser wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »you could get drunk and come on to him and if he turns you down blame the liquorPour_Decisions wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him? I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
I agree with this. I would just do it nonchalantly. So the next time he asks you out say "Okay I'll go out this time but don't try hitting on me, because I might like that " Or something to that effect...and see what he says. OR the drunk idea is good too.
i gotta veto the drunk idea.
he might be, yknow, like an actual nice guy who would "turn her down" after she'd had a drink or two, just because he felt like it'd be wrong you know-
*not* because he didn't like her.
if that happens she's gonna be in an even more confusing predicament
oooooookay if that happens she can also always text him something super flirty and if he turns her down be like “omg, wrong convo lol!!”
hit him with that ol' reliable "my friend took my phone from me i'm soooooooooo embarrassed sorry"2 -
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RomaineCalm wrote: »I don't like not knowing what someone else is expecting from/out of me. So if it's unclear I ask questions just so I'm not left wondering. I can tell that's probably not your personality. But if this were me I'd straight up ask what he wanted from the relationship, friends or something else.
Without knowing him or his personality, it's hard to really say what his actions mean.
Dis me.1 -
If a dude wants to hang out with a chick, he wants to bang her. End of story.
So this sounds like he wants to bang you and he likes you.
Just ask him.3 -
CookingWithCumin wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him? I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
Batty is a funny word
So is nutty.0 -
breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh0 -
tinkerhellraiser wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »you could get drunk and come on to him and if he turns you down blame the liquorPour_Decisions wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Will_Workout_for_food wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tinkerhellraiser wrote: »so do you like him like him or just like him? I COULD like him lol! But if he's just being friendly, then there's no reason to get excited about anything.
If you "COULD like him" then make your move girl. Don't wait for him. It's almost 2019 for crying out loud. Get excited...so what. Obviously he enjoys your company if he keeps asking you out. I would just go out to whatever event interests you and don't hold back just because of the unknown. If you're interested in him, then let him know. It's up to him what he does with that information. That's just me, but I'm old and I don't waste time playing games.
I'm not about that first move life! At best, I can flip my hair, compliment his muscles and laugh at his jokes. But.. hey.. then again maybe that's what he is doing....
I feel like u both are doing the same thing to each other: testing waters to see if one is interested in the other in that way, or can be fine being friendzoned.
Ur attitude of “ i can like like him “ shows u would b ok with starting up something. Maybe its worth it. Take that step forward to find out, or u may possibly miss an opportunity u may regret
If u didnt like him honestly u wouldnt have bothered making this thread.
That's fair... I do feel like I'm testing the waters... and I would be interested if I knew he was interested.
Well one of you has to say something. If you're both waiting for the other to show more interest you're just gonna wind up not finding out anything. That would drive me batty.
I agree with this. I would just do it nonchalantly. So the next time he asks you out say "Okay I'll go out this time but don't try hitting on me, because I might like that " Or something to that effect...and see what he says. OR the drunk idea is good too.
i gotta veto the drunk idea.
he might be, yknow, like an actual nice guy who would "turn her down" after she'd had a drink or two, just because he felt like it'd be wrong you know-
*not* because he didn't like her.
if that happens she's gonna be in an even more confusing predicament
oooooookay if that happens she can also always text him something super flirty and if he turns her down be like “omg, wrong convo lol!!”
hit him with that ol' reliable "my friend took my phone from me i'm soooooooooo embarrassed sorry"
Haha! I actually really did accidentally text him randomly--- and it was truly an accident. So I can't pull that again or it will be suspicious!1 -
competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh
That's 5 months from the time we've met. I was seeing someone else for 3 of it... and then it took me a month to get over that... so like 2 months since he started reaching out more and maybe 5 weeks of him increasing communication... and 2 weeks of that, he was in China. So... basically its been like 3 weeks... lol.0 -
breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh
That's 5 months from the time we've met. I was seeing someone else for 3 of it... and then it took me a month to get over that... so like 2 months since he started reaching out more and maybe 5 weeks of him increasing communication... and 2 weeks of that, he was in China. So... basically its been like 3 weeks... lol.
Advice: if you like him, don’t ever talk like you just did...to him 😜1 -
I didn’t read your post but If you met him on mfp he is asking you for all the things !
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competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh
That's 5 months from the time we've met. I was seeing someone else for 3 of it... and then it took me a month to get over that... so like 2 months since he started reaching out more and maybe 5 weeks of him increasing communication... and 2 weeks of that, he was in China. So... basically its been like 3 weeks... lol.
Advice: if you like him, don’t ever talk like you just did...to him 😜
Oh I already do lol! He knows I'm crazy and overthink things.0 -
breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh
That's 5 months from the time we've met. I was seeing someone else for 3 of it... and then it took me a month to get over that... so like 2 months since he started reaching out more and maybe 5 weeks of him increasing communication... and 2 weeks of that, he was in China. So... basically its been like 3 weeks... lol.
Advice: if you like him, don’t ever talk like you just did...to him 😜
Oh I already do lol! He knows I'm crazy and overthink things.
I thought I read where you weren’t sure if you liked him....? Hmmm1 -
breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh
That's 5 months from the time we've met. I was seeing someone else for 3 of it... and then it took me a month to get over that... so like 2 months since he started reaching out more and maybe 5 weeks of him increasing communication... and 2 weeks of that, he was in China. So... basically its been like 3 weeks... lol.
Advice: if you like him, don’t ever talk like you just did...to him 😜
Oh I already do lol! He knows I'm crazy and overthink things.
Dis is me.
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competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh
That's 5 months from the time we've met. I was seeing someone else for 3 of it... and then it took me a month to get over that... so like 2 months since he started reaching out more and maybe 5 weeks of him increasing communication... and 2 weeks of that, he was in China. So... basically its been like 3 weeks... lol.
Advice: if you like him, don’t ever talk like you just did...to him 😜
Oh I already do lol! He knows I'm crazy and overthink things.
I thought I read where you weren’t sure if you liked him....? Hmmm
I already do talk to him like I just did.0 -
breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »competeagain4x wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
Only 5 months?! Ugh
That's 5 months from the time we've met. I was seeing someone else for 3 of it... and then it took me a month to get over that... so like 2 months since he started reaching out more and maybe 5 weeks of him increasing communication... and 2 weeks of that, he was in China. So... basically its been like 3 weeks... lol.
Advice: if you like him, don’t ever talk like you just did...to him 😜
Oh I already do lol! He knows I'm crazy and overthink things.
I thought I read where you weren’t sure if you liked him....? Hmmm
I already do talk to him like I just did.
He must be very patient1 -
Actually a big crowd thing that puts you out of your comfort zone could work in your favor. Accept the date, be a little clingy, explain your discomfort with larger groups. Thus will give you insight to him as a human... If he immediately reacts and takes action to make you comfortable then he's a guy that shows he's sensitive to the needs of others. That's a good thing and hes worth seeing where it all goes. If he blows off your discomfort... torch him, hes not worth your time.10
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competeagain4x wrote: »If a dude wants to hang out with a chick, he wants to bang her. End of story.
Myth. I've had (and still have) lots of platonic friendships with men who had zero interest in anything more than hanging out. A couple of them came out as gay many years later so it's pretty obvious there was no intention of banging lol.
Bree, I'd let it play out for a while longer and see if things become any clearer. Not all guys will admit romantic interest unless they're pretty sure it's reciprocated, for fear of rejection or losing the friendship.
2 -
competeagain4x wrote: »If a dude wants to hang out with a chick, he wants to bang her. End of story.
Myth. I've had (and still have) lots of platonic friendships with men who had zero interest in anything more than hanging out. A couple of them came out as gay many years later so it's pretty obvious there was no intention of banging lol.
Bree, I'd let it play out for a while longer and see if things become any clearer. Not all guys will admit romantic interest unless they're pretty sure it's reciprocated, for fear of rejection or losing the friendship.
How many straight men have you had platonic friendships with?5 -
I blew a beautiful relationship by running ahead, over analyzing and trying to figure out where he was in the relationship. He felt pressured and took off. Lost my best friend. Quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
I’d take a breath, slow down. Try to enjoy the present. Be yourself, let him know you enjoy his company. He will tell you when he’s ready if it’s more than friends.
Easy to say, I know. Just my 2c3 -
wanderingarcher wrote: »I blew a beautiful relationship by running ahead, over analyzing and trying to figure out where he was in the relationship. He felt pressured and took off. Lost my best friend. Quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
I’d take a breath, slow down. Try to enjoy the present. Be yourself, let him know you enjoy his company. He will tell you when he’s ready if it’s more than friends.
Easy to say, I know. Just my 2c
Honestly this is what I’m most likely to do. Because in all reality, he has really good best friend possibilities. I loved hanging out with him before I was even interested. And really, that’s part of why I wish I knew what he was thinking, because even if it’s “I wanna make this chick my bestie”, I could roll with that. I could see us hanging out in face masks watching chick flicks... like for real lol.
But I’ll just roll with what’s happening now and see how things play out.
1 -
I didn't read all the responses but you should text him before yall meet up and ask if he thinks you should shave your legs beforehand. His answer will tell you if you're in the friend zone or not.4
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