Is this guy just super friendly or is he asking me out?
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Flash a boob. See what he does.3
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Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Update #2: He messaged this morning and invited me to his place on Saturday night for a "small, casual dinner with friends."
I'm still going with the friend theory because:
a) he really does seem to be a guy who gets along with women... some of his interests are a litttttle bit more on the feminine side
b) It really could go either way for me. Maybe hanging out as a friend will help me to decide if I want more than friendship with him. Honestly, I do like him but I'm not mad crushing at this point... writing Pete with hearts around his name. Maybe I'll have a clearer idea as time goes on.
c) I'm most likely to be myself if I don't think anything is going to happen there. The moment I know someone that I'm interest in is interested in me, I normally end up being a little weird and reallly self-aware.
I am super thankful for this thread though... its helping me think all the things out. I realized that I'm sort of a hypocrite because I wanna know what he's thinking and want him to be clear, but I don't even know what I'm thinking. I need more time to let it unfold.breefoshee wrote: »Update #2: He messaged this morning and invited me to his place on Saturday night for a "small, casual dinner with friends."
I'm still going with the friend theory because:
a) he really does seem to be a guy who gets along with women... some of his interests are a litttttle bit more on the feminine side
b) It really could go either way for me. Maybe hanging out as a friend will help me to decide if I want more than friendship with him. Honestly, I do like him but I'm not mad crushing at this point... writing Pete with hearts around his name. Maybe I'll have a clearer idea as time goes on.
c) I'm most likely to be myself if I don't think anything is going to happen there. The moment I know someone that I'm interest in is interested in me, I normally end up being a little weird and reallly self-aware.
I am super thankful for this thread though... its helping me think all the things out. I realized that I'm sort of a hypocrite because I wanna know what he's thinking and want him to be clear, but I don't even know what I'm thinking. I need more time to let it unfold.
You're a girl... Can't you just use the take one step forward, so he takes one forward, then take two back and now he's chasing you method 🤷🏽♂️🤣...
Walk him into that jab hun, stick and move like a honey bee lol
Haha! I'm hoping that my awkward moments of rejecting his invitations are coming across this way... calm, cool, and intriguing and not weird like a deer caught in headlights-- which is actually how I am.0 -
breefoshee wrote: »Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Update #2: He messaged this morning and invited me to his place on Saturday night for a "small, casual dinner with friends."
I'm still going with the friend theory because:
a) he really does seem to be a guy who gets along with women... some of his interests are a litttttle bit more on the feminine side
b) It really could go either way for me. Maybe hanging out as a friend will help me to decide if I want more than friendship with him. Honestly, I do like him but I'm not mad crushing at this point... writing Pete with hearts around his name. Maybe I'll have a clearer idea as time goes on.
c) I'm most likely to be myself if I don't think anything is going to happen there. The moment I know someone that I'm interest in is interested in me, I normally end up being a little weird and reallly self-aware.
I am super thankful for this thread though... its helping me think all the things out. I realized that I'm sort of a hypocrite because I wanna know what he's thinking and want him to be clear, but I don't even know what I'm thinking. I need more time to let it unfold.breefoshee wrote: »Update #2: He messaged this morning and invited me to his place on Saturday night for a "small, casual dinner with friends."
I'm still going with the friend theory because:
a) he really does seem to be a guy who gets along with women... some of his interests are a litttttle bit more on the feminine side
b) It really could go either way for me. Maybe hanging out as a friend will help me to decide if I want more than friendship with him. Honestly, I do like him but I'm not mad crushing at this point... writing Pete with hearts around his name. Maybe I'll have a clearer idea as time goes on.
c) I'm most likely to be myself if I don't think anything is going to happen there. The moment I know someone that I'm interest in is interested in me, I normally end up being a little weird and reallly self-aware.
I am super thankful for this thread though... its helping me think all the things out. I realized that I'm sort of a hypocrite because I wanna know what he's thinking and want him to be clear, but I don't even know what I'm thinking. I need more time to let it unfold.
You're a girl... Can't you just use the take one step forward, so he takes one forward, then take two back and now he's chasing you method 🤷🏽♂️🤣...
Walk him into that jab hun, stick and move like a honey bee lol
Haha! I'm hoping that my awkward moments of rejecting his invitations are coming across this way... calm, cool, and intriguing and not weird like a deer caught in headlights-- which is actually how I am.
You're playing it right imo... Go but bring a friend
It says I'm interested in seeing what you have to say, but I don't really trust you yet so you've got some work to do lol0 -
this seems like a trap to me. like he has commitment problems..cant put himself out there and take the risk so he is putting it on you - if you move towards he may - take you further down the same dang road. I would cut and run.1
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If a man really likes a woman then he will tell her. If he is too scared, then he is not that interested imo.7
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This thread is so adorable! I think he’s shy. Sounds like something I would do.4
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breefoshee wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »I'm sure none of these communication problems will carry forward if a relationship actually develops.
Mer.
Its only been 5 months... crossing the hurdle from "just friends" to more can be a bit more complicated than if we just met on a dating website and immediately knew why we were both there. I think it's too soon to tell if this would lead us to some deep communication issues. So far he's pretty easy to talk to.
5 months of dancing back & forth and no one has brought up the topic of being together being together? I'm of the sort that believes a person should be able to tell within the first 4 months or so whether they want to marry the other person. I will never understand this game of dating for years before making up one's mind.
Read the follow-up comments. I was seeing someone else for 3 months of it. And to your previous comment... no I’m not wanting him to express a desire to be exclusive... I just wanted to know if he liked me.
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Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.1 -
breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
You know my stance lol0 -
breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Soooo it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck... but it's not a duck?3 -
breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Oh he's into yew lol...
Don't be surprised if he tries to step things up next time...
If you like him... A little encouragement now and then goes a long way for a guy0 -
I’m following this saga... with high hopes for your happiness 😎breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
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HappilyDistracted wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Soooo it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck... but it's not a duck?
But does she weigh the same as a duck?
He likes you so you need to either encourage his advances or play shy.3 -
After reading through this thread, I had a few thoughts & q's:
* How does he speak about you to other friends you're having kind of, sort of, but not really double dates with? Does he call you his friend? Do they think you're a couple? Has he expressed his interest to them or talked about wanting to ask you out as a gf, but is intimidated in some way?
* You've mentioned China & Chinese friends a few times. Is he from China? Perhaps he has a more traditional view of dating & is from a culture/family where a certain amount of time must pass before he expresses interest? You also said you quasi double date with Chinese friends... ask them about it.
* Based on having 4 older brothers... if a guy is interested in an intimate relationship with a girl, he'll let her know asap, so she doesn't turn her eye elsewhere. He could have been waiting patiently for you to end your previous relationship so he could approach you, but... all these months later & he hasn't? So, you're his plant watcher & occasional dinner companion & my feeling is unless he's the shyest man alive (or abides by traditional Chinese social behavior), you are his friend.
* I don't agree with some previous posts, but I'm a traditionalist, older than you & although in the dating pool, no judgment, but I'm not interested in the gender fluid, bi, tri, wear my clothing types... I'd never ask out a guy. Did once, he jumped my bones the second he picked me up, then when I fought him off, he thought I was nuts cuz I'd "made a pass" at him & of course that meant instant sex. Perhaps not usual today with people your age (I have no bleedin' idea), but whatever... I'll be the girl, you be the guy, if you're bi, gender neutral or a cross dresser, nah thanks... & if interested in me, approach me. I'm very comfortable with the old fashioned, traditional ways. But, I'm American & not familiar with traditional Chinese dating rules, so you'll need to find out, if you wish to be involved with him in a more intimate way.
* Being very literal myself... come up for coffee means come up for coffee (although, I've learned the hard way, yeah, it doesn't mean that... I long for a literal guy), I can't guess what someone else wants or feels. I've been mislead before... when in my 20s, a breathtakingly handsome classmate everyone had a crush on asked me to come to "our house", so I asked where he lived... he meant met him & his bf at a restaurant called Our House. I didn't know he was gay & thought he was asking me out. Oh, how embarrassing. And, I've also accepted invitations before to an event, then was stunned the guy made an abrupt move... I thought we were going as friends cuz I wasn't interested, he felt if I accepted an invite to an art gallery it meant I was interested in dating him.
* My point? Who knows what the Valhalla someone else is thinking? How do I know what's right for you, but my best advice would be if you're interested in just remaining friends, then continue to meet him with friends as friends & stop wondering about it unless he broaches the subject. If interested in him, then work dating into the conversation in some way... "So, are you dating lately?" etc., type q's. You could also ask your dinner companions about him & his intentions, which might be easier. Word would get back to him, then if he is shy or traditional, he'll know you'll be amenable to his advances.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do! And, Happy Holidays!5 -
CookingWithCumin wrote: »Hi everyone, since this is the relationship advice thread I have a question
I sent a female acquaintance a video of my dog chewing on a plastic bottle this morning to which she responded “my dog is cuter”
Do you think this means I can’t smash?
Could have been a typo and she meant to just type "cute" and not "cuter". You'll have to wait this one out awhile longer.0 -
My husband was so much like this guy...Yes!!! Husband of 32 years.
We spent 6 months on a big ol' merry-go-round. I had enough so one night, I leaned in and kissed him when it was time to leave. It was long enough. He, in the end told me that he was so scared to ask me because he had been rejected before and it scarred him.
imo...Friends first makes the best relationships.
Best of luck, but if I were you, I would make a move or make it 100% clear you just want to be friends. It is only fair to him.6
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