JUST FOR TODAY -- One Day at a Time .... Daily commitment thread for 2019

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  • ZizzyBumble
    ZizzyBumble Posts: 1,679 Member
    Tuesday 18 April

    Log accurately :)
    Stay in the green :) used lots of energy scrubbing my parents garden furniture so that offset the wine I rewarded myself with!
    5 fruit and veg :)
    Fitbit excercise goals :)
    Jan challenge >:) doubtful
    Feb challenge >:) wine ....
    Mar challenge
    Apr challenge :)
    May challenge :)
    Jun challenge

    I've spent hours scrubbing my parent's wooden garden furniture and decided that it could do worth an extra scrub tomorrow. So much for instructions saying apply the liquid and wash it back off - it's taking lots of elbow grease! I will stay with my parents tonight so as I'm not driving and I decided my hard work deserved wine.

    @snowflake1968. So pleased for you, I have fingers and toes crossed that this will work out.
  • korina75
    korina75 Posts: 297 Member
    JFT 6/18 recap

    Healthy Choices-Eat Mindfully 😐
    Stay within calories 😐
    60 minutes exercise 😐
    Eat all meals at home 😐
    Catch up on Laundry 😐
    10 minutes meditation 😞

    Half assed this whole day but I guess that’s better than not assing it at all! 😂
  • mytime6630
    mytime6630 Posts: 4,284 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    I got the job!!!! I’ll try to catch up shortly.

    I've been away for 5 days, and just now got on here to try and catch up! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you!!! And right before the wedding! Now you can thoroughly enjoy that big day! Again , so well deserved, and so very happy for you!!!!
  • Faebert
    Faebert Posts: 1,588 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    I got the job!!!! I’ll try to catch up shortly.

    Hooray!!! Brilliant news @snowflake1968. X
  • bookmeister86
    bookmeister86 Posts: 1,165 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    I got the job!!!! I’ll try to catch up shortly.

    Congratulations!!!!! So pleased for you :)
  • bookmeister86
    bookmeister86 Posts: 1,165 Member
    edited June 2019
    A pretty good day yesterday, I managed to stay pretty much within calories and do pretty much everything I planned to do (I hadn't been that ambitious, but still). Hopefully today will be another good day! There will be temptations every other day this week so having another good day will put me in a good place before I have to deal with those.


    Yesterday's commitments:

    - Log everything I eat :smile:
    - Stick to food plan :smile:
    - Be in the green :smile:
    - 3+ bottles water :smile:
    - No alcohol :smile:
    - No eating whilst standing :smile:
    - Savour every bite :smile:
    - Talk back to sabotaging thoughts :smile:
    - Give myself credit! :smile:
    - Stay positive :smile:
    - 45 minute lunch break :smile:
    - Read response cards x2 :neutral: Just once
    - Meditate :smile:
    - 2+ of French podcast, reading, Duolingo :smile:
    - Talk to boyfriend in French :smile:
    - Finish work by 6.30pm :smile:
    - Gratitude journal :smile:
    - Lights off by 11 :smile:


    Today's commitments:

    - Log everything I eat
    - Stick to food plan
    - Be in the green with a 200+ deficit
    - 4 bottles water
    - No alcohol
    - Run to work

    - No eating whilst standing
    - Savour every bite
    - Talk back to sabotaging thoughts
    - Give myself credit!
    - Stay positive

    - 45 minute lunch break
    - Read response cards x2
    - Meditate
    - 2+ of French podcast, reading, Duolingo
    - Talk to boyfriend in French
    - Finish work by 6.30pm
    - Take and submit meter reading
    - Wash clutch bag
    - Gratitude journal
    - Lights off by 11

    Weekly calorie balance: 660 in the green

    June challenge (Logging/ Meditation):

    June 10th: :smiley::smiley:
    June 11th: :smiley::smiley:
    June 12th: :smiley::smiley:
    June 13th: :smiley::smiley:
    June 14th: >:):smiley:
    June 15th: >:):smiley:
    June 16th: :smiley::smiley:
    June 17th: :smiley::smiley:

  • ZizzyBumble
    ZizzyBumble Posts: 1,679 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    I got the job!!!! I’ll try to catch up shortly.

    Congratulations, that's great news.
  • bookmeister86
    bookmeister86 Posts: 1,165 Member
    daneejela wrote: »
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    Just had the second interview, I think the job is mine. We set out what dates I can train in between now and the wedding.

    If I red this when I had just discovered this thread, I would just say - congrats, without many emotions. But after witnessing all your struggles and positivity through it, I feel so happy for you!!
    I hope they also know how lucky they are to have you!

    @bookmeister86
    Tortoise fable is so applicable to weight loss! A lady, in one of the podcasts I listen to, once asked - do you want to lose those pounds fast or forever? I often think about that question...if you think in the terms of forever, then what does it really mean a few weeks or few months extra time?
    I don't put my pictures on the vision board, just random images from the internet that I find relatable or inspiring in some way. I'll put it below in the spoiler.
    The right part is there because we are in the middle of renovation of our space, and I got lost in the details a lot, overthinking each decision. So, I put those room images there to keep me focused on the initial idea.
    The left part is for the daily habits I'd like to have (healthy food, walking, dressing up...). When I remove gallstones I'll add some more exciting forms of exercise, for now, I'll just stick with walking.
    The central part is a reminder for what I really value the most - my relationships: with my husband, my family, and my friends. It's so easy to get lost in small everyday disappointments and to forget how lucky we are because those people have chosen us for a partner or for a friend...I could be the CEO of the universe if this central part is not in place, I know I won't be happy. So those images remind me of these values and inspire me to do more for people I love and care about. Pregnant lady represents one of my main why's for the weight loss - to get to a healthy weight for pregnancy and to build up those habits so that my (hopefully) future kids can grow in a healthy environment. "Simple pleasures" is just that - a reminder to not forget those small moments of joy, like coffee with friends, learning languages or just dancing in the living room. :)
    Sorry for writing a novel, as usual. I bet you were not that much interested in my vision board, lol, but I got carried away :D Hope you don't mind me sharing.
    n9abz0xsqmnz.jpg

    I really like the board! That's much more inspiring than the skinny people I was imagining :smile:

    I am almost certainly too lazy to create a physical board like this - I'm not very crafty and we don't have a lot of space - however I could use Pinterest for a digital equivalent. I already use that to pin travel inspiration (and cat pictures) but I could also use it for 'lifestyle' inspiration.

    I think it's important across this journey to see it as a lifestyle to aspire to - NOT just a set of restrictions that we do for a time.

    Thank you for sharing!
  • ZizzyBumble
    ZizzyBumble Posts: 1,679 Member
    Wednesday Jun 20

    Early start as the shop delivering my mum's new mattress phoned at 06:30 to say they be here at 07:00 :s Now enjoying my second cup of tea then I will get on with cleaning their garden furniture.

    Log accurately
    Stay in the green
    5 fruit and veg
    Fitbit excercise goals
    Jan challenge
    Feb challenge
    Mar challenge
    Apr challenge
    May challenge
    Jun challenge
  • tristramtrent
    tristramtrent Posts: 257 Member
    Yesterday's results not too brilliant but I did end the day "under" at least a little
    A walk 4000 steps - no
    15 min elliptical - no
    unpack - yes
    visit the foundry - yes
    4 email replies - yes
    stay within cals check back in at bedtime! - not quite but not a disaster!

    So today
    1. A walk 6000 steps
    2. Practice guitar
    3. Tidy workbenches
    4. stay "under"
    5. declutter 3 items
    6. Check back in!

    Good luck everyone
  • littleblackskirt
    littleblackskirt Posts: 1,045 Member
    edited June 2019
    @Snowflake1968 , so pleased for you, they will be so lucky to have you working for them :)

    @daneejela , thank you for sharing about your parents. I'm lucky that I live very close to mine, it means I see and feel the worries daily, but am close for the occasional emergency phone calls when they need help. I only have one sibling, who lives permanently abroad, so I feel it is all on my shoulders.

    I like your vision board :) I have a pin board, not nearly as smart as yours! It has pics of encouraging sayings, photos of reasons I want to lose weight, the type of clothes I'd like to wear etc. I must look at it more lol.

    JFT Tuesday 18th June

    Eat sensibly, stay under maintenance ate well, apart from a little bit of chocolate
    Back exercises hadn't done any when I went to bed, so did 10 minutes on the bed
    Tidy up in garden. It's been too wet this month to garden, and I'm missing the distraction. enjoyed some gentle tidying up, and a chat with neighbours
    Laundry yes, all done
    Lots of housework yes, didn't get everything done, but did things thoroughly
    Lift the big bag heavy!

    JFT Wednesday 19th June

    Eat sensibly, stay under maintenance
    Back exercises
    Pile of ironing
    Finish housework
    Visit parents
    Solicitors appointment for parents
    Garden if any time left
    Lift the big bag


  • korina75
    korina75 Posts: 297 Member
    @Snowflake1968 Congratulations!!! That's awesome news!
  • korina75
    korina75 Posts: 297 Member
    JFT 6/19

    Stay within calories
    30 minutes exercise
    Drink water
    no alcohol
    Eat mindfully

    Today I have to drop off my car for inspection & oil change so I'll be trapped at home for a few hours and am going to try to use that time to catch up on laundry/housework/phone calls. I have some work stuff that I've been avoiding that I need to take care of.

    I think my body is finally over my mistreatment over the weekend but today is going to be a strength training/yoga day, though I may take a walk if I get bored while waiting for my car. Anyway, hope all have a good day.
  • aubyshortcake
    aubyshortcake Posts: 796 Member
    Good morning! I'll be quick this morning, I've been procrastinating (surprise!).

    @Snowflake1968 Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! You must be so proud, you SO deserve it!

    Yesterday 6/18:

    1. Give Rukia her a.m. pills 😁
    2. Stay within calorie goal😞
    3. Look into traffic course for my ticket, deadline is approaching! Leaving this here until I do so I don't forget!😞
    4. Go for a walk at lunch😁
    5. Cook dinner😁
    6. Put away some laundry😞

    JFT 6/19:

    1. Give Rukia her a.m. pills 😁
    2. Stay within calorie goal
    3. Look into traffic course for my ticket, deadline is approaching! Leaving this here until I do so I don't forget!
    4. Go for a walk at lunch
    5. Workout after work
  • HEGoddard0928
    HEGoddard0928 Posts: 824 Member
    HEGoddard0928 wrote: »
    JFT, 6/18/19

    1. School day(only 3 more left!) 😁
    2. M's at 12:30😁 And we actually got there on time! That never happens!
    3. Do the damn dishes!!!! 😁😁 There's three mugs that I have to rinse when I get home
    4. Come on girl! Fold those effing clothes!!😁😁 Can this count as my physical activity? Lots of stretching and making my back hurts
    5. Actually make dinner. Even if it's something as simple as heating up tortellini. Just do it! 😁Made precooked orange chicken. Super simple (like microwave easy) but at least I did!!
    6. Do some kind of physical activity today. I dont care what it is. Just something. 🤣🤣So can folding the laundry count or not?
    7. Do 2 training modules 😁😁I probably did like 3. I did some in school yesterday.
    8. Night time routine 😁😁
    9. Bed by 10:30😈More like 11but not too bad

    Just gonna post some goals real quick. I'll come back later.

    JFT, 6/19/19

    1. June Challenge
    2. School(last day tomorrow!!)
    3. Do at least 1 module in school
    4. Do at least 2 modules at home
    5. Make dinner
    6. Do dishes RIGHT AFTER DINNER!!!
    7. Gather dirty clothes and put in bag
    8. Gastro appt at 230
    9. M's around 4ish
    10. Bring in trash can
    11. Night routine
    12. Bed by 10 30

  • Fitforevermore
    Fitforevermore Posts: 399 Member
    Completed day 2
    Day 3
    Exercise 30 mins
    Stay under 1600 call after exercise
  • Faebert
    Faebert Posts: 1,588 Member
    V late post from me but this morning has been hectic. Was supposed to have a day off today but surprise surprise they asked if I could cover absences again. Still, I got to go in late so I could take my own kids to school for a change and now have a half day. Leaving shortly to interview a potential nanny so fingers crossed she is the right fit for us!

    Tuesday goals recap:
    - morning workout ✅
    - finish intervention map doc ✅
    - pack snacks and schoolbags ✅
    - check class is ok then head to cover year 4 ✅
    - order craft ✅ and cooking stuff❎
    - home lunchtime for car and shake✅
    - call gym guy! ✅
    - get docs signed ❎
    - cash for piano teacher ✅
    - June challenge (forgot this yesterday but I did do it) ✅
    - leave by 5:30 ✅
    - bed by 9:30 ❎

    Wednesday goals:
    - morning run ✅ 10k
    - take kids to school ✅
    - leave by 12:30 ✅
    - interview 2pm
    - Pick up kids
    - hang laundry
    - call electrician
    - find recipes for cooking session
    - plan RE lesson
    - bed by 10

    Have a lovely day all x
  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 6,579 Member
    Checking in from Tuesday
    1. AM walk/run - 3 miles. Feed cats. Meds. Tea! Log 1 item. Post JFT. Toe stretches! What's for lunch/dinner?
    2. Type reflective essay. Leave for school by 10:00. Lifting.
    3. Finish reflective essay. Submit. Add DH's library login to bookmarks. Clear table.
    4. Exam. Put jewelry away. Fold laundry. Comments. Library 4:00 for coloring club.
    5. Drink more water. No, more. Keep the pitcher in the fridge full. You're not actually hungry. Make some tea. Drink more water! LOG BEFORE SNACKING!
    6. Therapy exercises at 9:30: lunges, push-ups, ankle lifts, box jumps, plank. MEDS. Floss, rinse, brush teeth. In bed by 9:45; devices off by 10:00. Alarm set for 6:00. Check on audition for MM. Meeting 9:15 Friday. Saturday is library day with parents.

    JFT Wednesday
    1. Type leadership essay. COFFEE. Pack lunch and log it. Leave for park by 8:50. Post JFT.
    2. Work on essay and discussion comments during breaks at park. NO EXTRA SNACKS. NO. Note - June 22 (Sat) arrive late (~3 PM); can work first week of July as needed.
    3. Finish leadership essay. SUBMIT PROJECT. Meatloaf for dinner?
    4. Drink more water. No, more. Keep the pitcher in the fridge full. You're not actually hungry. Make some tea. Drink more water!
    5. Therapy exercises at 9:30: lunges, push-ups, ankle lifts, box jumps, plank. MEDS. Floss, rinse, brush teeth. In bed by 9:45; devices off by 10:00. Alarm set for 6:00. Meeting 9:15 Friday. Saturday is library day with parents. Check on audition for MM. Thursday - Put jewelry away. Fold laundry.

    Scale goals
    End of 2017: 174.6
    End of 2018: 189.2
    January 2019: 186.0
    February 2019: 187.0
    Today: 193.8

    Ongoing plans/ideas behind the cut
    1. Purchases: Go to Mac store and see if they can retrieve the files off the iMac. Look for an "ugly Christmas sweater" and a long-haired doll at thrift stores. Practice French braiding. Go to used bookstore and look for Design for How People Learn (Julie Dirksen), On Writing (Stephen King), Dying for a Paycheck (Robin Hardman), The Prince (tr. Tim Parks, Russell Price, or Robert Adams), The Secret Adversary (Christie).
    2. E2: What should the controlling ideas be in a study of world literature? Review world lit options. Create vocabulary lists for each unit that come from the texts used: Animal Farm, Julius Caesar, Wes Moore, I Am Malala. Find a way to incorporate changing words from one part of speech to another. Students need to know how to review multiple sources and synthesize information in order to draw a conclusion. Need practice with the difference between transitions and overlapping (at end of paragraph - "another issue is Y" vs "there are other issues besides X"). Quit using "in conclusion" and "I believe" and other writing-about-my-writing phrases. Confusion between direct/indirect objects and prepositional phrases. Use the UDHR and the Declaration of Independence to study paraphrasing; use that to front-load Machiavelli and how to deal with challenging texts. Confusion between everyday / every day and similar constructions.
    3. E1: Need practice with quoting & paraphrasing sources, identifying claims that would need support, use of last names for reference, and capitalization practice (common/proper nouns, titles). Difficulty using possessive nouns in their own writing. Honors: practice subject/object pronouns (my friend and I / my friend and me). Poetry: Revise "Songs are Poetry" handouts.
    4. Curriculum Development: Writing mini-unit. Review scholarly research on 5PE. (I think I can have this as an intro to the research unit so that they also get exposure to how quotes are integrated and cited.) Parallel structure; use of emotional language, specific detail. Use "Write About a Pebble" lesson from Atwell. How long should each unit take? Do research on characteristics: curiosity, persistence, resilience, creativity, responsibility, optimism, courage, integrity, authenticity, leadership, self-awareness, humility, compassion - others? Include grammarly check on essays! Review assessments. What is the purpose for each unit? What should the controlling ideas be in a study of world literature? Review world lit options. Schedule assessments for Fall 2019; plan out return times. Align assessments with OW units. Write 1 reflection weekly; type one in Classroom by Weds. Copy-paste to PB for comments due Friday. PB usernames 6 digits, no 19 or 20s, no birthdates. Homework: Online journal Mon due Tue; Reflection Tue due Wed; C&P journal in class Wed; Comments Thu due Fri. Grammar practice Mon & Wed; quiz Fri.
    5. Professional Development: Write blog post weekly. Comment on 3 posts each week -Tu Th Sun? Check with PSC. Talk with Z about articles and/or conference proposals. NOTE: ATTEND POST FLEX DAY RATHER THAN PRE FLEX DAY. Upload summer project checklist July 1.
    6. Medical: Dentist. Onco. PCP. Call to set up checkups with Dass (October). GET MAGAZINES FOR COLLAGES FROM DOCTORS.
    7. Theater: Audition for Mamma Mia???
    8. House: Mineral oil on tile spots. Check with D about ceiling and taking items to the dump.
    9. Fun: Open beading on Thursdays. Coloring at library on Tuesday. Put jewelry away. Edney Hack Nights alt Weds.
    10. Volunteering ideas: Theater. Library. Animal shelter.

    WFTY: Climbing. Supposed to rain today. I'm taking extra socks and shoes because walking in wet ones gave me blisters last week.
  • MLHC1
    MLHC1 Posts: 678 Member
    Wednesday JFT:

    ▪Ease back into things; don't get overwhelmed
    ▪Breakfast
    ▪Maintain baby's daily schedule
    ▪Log Food / Stay under calorie limit
    ▪Devotional Time
    ▪Laundry / cleaning
    ▪Clean & organize play room
    ▪Lunch
    ▪Exercise (x1 DVD)
    ▪Dinner
    ▪Evening schedule

    I'm still fragile emotionally but I need to start building self-strength. After that wonderful conversation with my husband we fell right back into the unhealthy pattern. He went on with the mind games and Sunday night I broke. 😔 I'm not proud of emotionally breaking but it just got to be too much. I told my husband everything that was bothering me and how I can't take the stupid mind games anymore. He seemed to sympathize some but also told me he isn't going to change so I'm confused all over again. Then as usual back to the norm the next day; more selfishness, guilt trips and putting all blame on me (More games again!!) I'm trying to stay strong, at least I'm posting again, Lol 😓

  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    @Snowflake1968 Woooohooo! Congrats! On the other side of the globe, I'll take a drink to celebrate!

    @MLHC1 Sorry to hear that...If I don't ask too much, what bothers you the most in your relationship with your husband? What would you like him to change?

    @littleblackskirt
    "it means I see and feel the worries daily" - as much as I "envy" you for being close to your parents and being able to help them, I also know that this takes a lot of strength and self-sacrifice. It's so easy to get lost in care for them and forget completely on your needs. I hope you do make room for yourself and do some of the things you enjoy.

    @bookmeister86 thank you! I absolutely agree about the importance of seeing this as a lifestyle, not a set of temporary restrictions.
  • MLHC1
    MLHC1 Posts: 678 Member
    daneejela wrote: »
    @MLHC1 Sorry to hear that...If I don't ask too much, what bothers you the most in your relationship with your husband? What would you like him to change?

    I would like to be treated with respect and compassion. I've learned in counseling that he controls me with fear, is emotionally abusive and is a bit of a narcissist. I do not want to "play" mind games or have to deal with being blamed for all his shortcomings. He projects his issues and negativity onto me. He is a verbal bully sometimes. My counselor says he does this bc he has unresolved issues from his past. The only way we have a chance is if he is willingly to change and do the work in counseling.

    It's tough. I respect my counselor and I'm open to God's promptings. The hard part is knowing what to do and how to function daily in such a distorted reality. My counselor says I've handled things so well bc I usually distract myself by pouring into my educational studies and suppress everything.

    Sorry for the long explanation. Thanks for asking and for the support. 🤗
  • AJB1014
    AJB1014 Posts: 1,380 Member
    @Snowflake1968 I am thrilled to hear your news!!! So many congrats! Your attitude thru it all has been so inspiring and deserves a high five! You SO deserve this!
  • AJB1014
    AJB1014 Posts: 1,380 Member
    JFT Weds
    1. Waters NOW
    2. Call Country store for Saturday sandwich platter
    3. Fill out 401k paperwork, mail.
    4. Cook dinner at home, soup and grilled cheese
    5. More water!!!
    6. Empty/fill dishwasher
    7. Wash tablecloths, hang on line to dewrinkle
    8. Bed by 10
    9. Be kind!
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,954 Member
    JFT - Tuesday June 18 - Determined
    2.5L of water - >:)
    Calories in green, Log Accurately - >:)>:)
    Walk 1 Mile - :)
    Squats - >:)
    5 Fruits and Veggies - 1/5
    Only 1 evening Snack - >:)
    5 something at bathroom break - >:)
    Something on commercials - >:)
    Write in Journal - :)
    Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices - ;) I'm saying yes, because I made it through the day without overindulging on junk all day and didn't go back to bed at any point until bed time.

    JFT - Wednesday June 19 - Determined
    2.5L of water
    Calories in green, Log Accurately
    Walk 1 Mile
    Squats
    5 Fruits and Veggies
    Only 1 evening Snack
    5 something at bathroom break
    Something on commercials
    Write in Journal
    Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices

    I had a great sleep last night and just woke up at twenty to 9. It is raining and looks cold here this morning. I had to turn the furnace on to combat the damp. Today I am watching Michaela and I think her and I will be doing some rearranging so I can figure out the craft room and what I can do for getting the two beds in there. Our weather forecast is calling for rain for the next week and a half. I hope it all gets out of it's system and clears for the wedding and when people are here. I am counting on the outside as a seating area otherwise it will be too crowded in our house.

    I am starting my job tomorrow, then next week I'll work all week except Thursday afternoon. The week after (wedding week) I will work the 2nd and 3rd only, then I'm off until the 9th. I will work the 9th, off the 10th and 11th and work the 12th. I start full time on the 15th of July.
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,954 Member
    @daneejela - I understand how you feel being further away from your parents. I am 3300 kms from home. When my Dad was sick it was a terrible feeling. My Mom is now in a nursing home, and unfortunately all of that responsibility ended on my brother's shoulders. @littleblackskirt I feel so bad for you, I have terrible guilt being so far away when my Brother could use a break.

    Love the vision board idea, a friend of mine uses a vision board to change things in her life.

    @HEGoddard0928 - I used to have terrible back aches when folding laundry so I would avoid doing it. I now fold my laundry on a table instead of sitting on a couch doing it and I haven't had a back ache in a long time from it. Just a thought.

    @faebert - good luck on the nanny. That must irk you that you are called in to cover an absence when you don't get covered when your assistant is out.

    @mlhc1 - I just read your post and I'm worried for you. What would you tell a friend if they were in your shoes using the words you used, "controls me with fear, is emotionally abusive". No one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but treat yourself like you would your dearest friend and see what you get for answers. Prayers for you.

  • pridesabtch
    pridesabtch Posts: 2,466 Member
    edited June 2019
    @Snowflake1968 so excited for you, and the part time until the 15th sounds perfect!

    Other than that, I 2nd every thing Snowflake said.

    I didn't post today's goals last night and it's now 1PM today.

    JFT Wednesday
    - 8:30 Dentist :smile: No cavities!
    - 10:00 vacuum out the Acadia :smile: This NEEDED to happen
    - 10:30 meet with financial planner :smile: Quick visit to sign some papers
    - Talk doc appointment :smile: fewer tears than last visit. I really like and trust Mike.
    - Back to work by 12:30 :smile: grabbed some fruit at Sheetz for lunch
    - Gotta get the VN test working and verify that the VDA test is accurate...
    - Skipping VBS tonight, gotta work late
    - Home around 9:00
    - Gratitude journal before I'm half asleep
    - Lay out clothes for the gym
    - Bed by 10:30

    Positive thought: We are in control of our future. There is no room in that future for hate, hurt or anger.

  • Faebert
    Faebert Posts: 1,588 Member
    @MLHC1 I agree with @Snowflake1968. How long has this behaviour been going on? Is it a long-term pattern or something recent that has been triggered by events? Respect is a basic right in a relationship, and it’s awful when someone wears you down like this. I guess you need to ask yourself if he has the capacity to change, because if not there is more than your own happiness at stake. Your children are watching him being disrespectful, and that is damaging. I’m sending you big hugs and lots of strength.

    I think you’ve said your husband is resistant to counselling and chats - would he read a letter? Maybe if you explained the exact behaviours/words that are so hurtful it would help for him to see it in black and white? And specific examples - laid out without drama and emotion- would be harder for him to deny or ignore?

    Just a thought. But please know that we are all here for you x
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    @MLHC1 Can I ask you what do you fear? When you say that he tries to control you with the fear, what kind of fear? Is it like fear for physical safety, fear of drama, fear of divorce...? Please say, if I ask too much...we tend to see our experiences in others and project what we are going through, so I try to avoid it by asking all those questions...but if I am too intrusive, please feel free to ignore it completely.
    I am sorry you are going through this, I know it feels like hell. I think what you'd like (to be treated with respect and compassion) is very reasonable. Sending you a big hug!

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