WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR JANUARY 2019
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drkatiebug wrote: »Whew! Caught up. Probably missed a bunch due to skimming.
Beth, I’m with you on the haggis.
Hugs to all with work issues, sick DHs, sick yourself, and/or struggling with this whole weight thing.
Rebecca, your DH cornbread story takes the cake (dying laughing at my own joke).
Love you all,
K
K, he did take my chocolate cake too....see photo in later responses! He took a big chunk before dinner!
💗Rebecca3 -
Happy National Compliment Day!
"A compliment has a powerful effect. It can instill confidence in a child, or validate someone’s hard work. A compliment not only improves the receiver’s mood, but it also says something about the giver. It tells them you noticed. To give a great compliment, first be sincere. People have a way of knowing when we are fake. If you don’t mean it, it’s worse than getting a thoughtless birthday gift. Complimenting character versus a new haircut are different rewards. The first says you respect the person and the other tells them you paid attention. Sometimes the receiver needs to hear one or the other, or both. Human beings like to be unique, original. Strive to compliment what makes a person stand out above the rest. Take the time to reflect on what you admire about the person."
Rebecca - Loved the cornbread photo. I take it your husband doesn't like the crusty edges? Loved the pictures of him, too. What a great big goofy grin!
Michele - I do yogurt pops in the summer too. Looking forward to trying some new flavors this summer.
Heather - I tried haggis at a Celtic festival once. It was OK, but I probably wouldn't go out of my way to eat it.
Machka - Sorry your "helper" isn't helpful, but I continue to be amazed at the progress your husband has made on his own.
I did it - I made a quart of homemade yogurt yesterday! Actually I guess it's still a work in progress because it's still draining, but it tastes delicious! I also prepped three jars of steel-cut oats for the refrigerator, baked a batch of muffins with the leftover cranberry-orange sauce from Christmas, and (finally!) wrote thank-you notes for our gifts. It was a nice reminder of what my days can be like when I'm not crazy busy at work. It's been quite awhile since I had a slow spell like this. It won't last long but I'm enjoying it while I can.
Any "Joe vs. the Volcano" fans out there? I love Tom Hanks and that is one of my favorite movies. It's quirky and a little weird. Anyhow, there's a scene where he is stranded on a raft in the middle of the ocean. He wakes up to see a ginormous moon on the horizon, and he stares at it for a minute then says, "Thank you for my life!" Driving home from an outing last night the rising moon looked just like that - a great huge orange in the sky - and I just paused and whispered, "Thank you for my life!"
Now I need to take Luna for a walk then use some of today's free time getting my taxes ready for the accountant.
Every one of you is fabulous in her own way and you inspire me every day.
-Yvonne in TX3 -
Whoa! It has been a day. SO glad I only have two hours left with kids. All of the kids have had their knickers in a twist over one thing or another all day. VERY whiny.
When I am tired it is hard to deal with that. They all fought nap, but are finally all asleep (as of about 30 minutes ago). I am just going to let them sleep until pick up, (4:30-5:00)I think. Anyway, reading the food comments. I have never tried haggis; but I would probably give it a go. I am a more adventurous eater than most. My DH, Tim, on the other hand is not an adventurer of any kind. He tried some plain greek yogurt years ago and hates it (too tart). I have been trying to get him to try my home made yogurt for months because it isn't as tart as the store bought brands. He finally tried it last night and likes it. (cue angels singing the halleluiah chorus). SO...I may need to make a bit more yogurt than I already do. We will see.
The snow is really coming down again. Weather is predicting another 6-8 inches before tomorrow at this time. Not much, but it will give me a couple more shoveling sessions between now and then!
Hugs to all! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)3 -
Happy National Compliment Day!
Any "Joe vs. the Volcano" fans out there? I love Tom Hanks and that is one of my favorite movies. It's quirky and a little weird. Anyhow, there's a scene where he is stranded on a raft in the middle of the ocean. He wakes up to see a ginormous moon on the horizon, and he stares at it for a minute then says, "Thank you for my life!" Driving home from an outing last night the rising moon looked just like that - a great huge orange in the sky - and I just paused and whispered, "Thank you for my life!"
-Yvonne in TX
Love that movie. I need to see it again. I do remember that scene. There are so many touching moments in that crazy film. One of my favorite lines, delivered multiple times is, "I have no response to that." I used to use it a lot with my family. I think I need to bring it out again.
Thanks for the reminder. Such a fun movie.
Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon3 -
Not clear but 2 bald eagles 🦅 outside our window across the street10 -
Well ol Allie Is whopped...
I'm tellin ya I was buzzing around busy all day got laundry done,grocery shopping done,rearranged a few cabinets and put a load in the dishwasher..now I am in my jams tucked in with Alfie and a magazine..and ready for a good night's sleep.
Allison's mom had her gall bladder out and is feeling much better..so Allie will be at work tomorrow.6 -
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To all of you fighting viruses I hope you feel better soon. DH had a doctor's appointment every day this week except today so I finally made it to water exercise. yay, it felt really good. MRI showed no progression in the cancer. No shrinkage either but considering he has been on and off the chemo not a bad outcome. He was started on Keytruda yesterday and we will see the doctor again on Feb 1. This seems to offer some hope of at least prolonging his life. I went and talked to our pastor Monday and she was very helpful with some insightful questions and helping me think through some things that at some point will come up like where is the point at which we consider hospice and what does that look like to me versus what does it look like to DH. Our 50th wedding anniversary will come up in August of this year and right now his goal is to make it to that date.
Pip - Hang in there. Hope things smooth out at work.
Heather - Enjoy Burn's Night and your party!
KJ - Glad you are getting an evening off.
Rebecca - That man of yours has a crazy sense of humor.
Machka - That is why everyone needs an advocate if they have medical issues.
Nessa still groggy after her spay.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA
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Sue - Poor Nessa. She looks so cute. I would love to cuddle with her! I'm glad to hear your hub is holding his own at the moment. My prayers continue for you both.
Okie
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Before and after6 -
Machka: I love the Theodore Roosevelt quotation. Sorry to hear about the bush fires. We had smoke from wildfires when Eastern Oregon, Canada, Montana were on fire a couple of years ago, but not so much from the recent California fires. It is great to hear that your DH is doing so well. I’m sorry that his former care giver is so far out of touch with his reality. I’m guessing she can’t begin to imagine how far he has progressed. :noway:Machka - Sorry your "helper" isn't helpful, but I continue to be amazed at the progress your husband has made on his own.Machka - That is why everyone needs an advocate if they have medical issues.
35C (95F) in Hobart today, but a little bit cooler out where we are.
Heavy smoke all around.
Evacuating several towns
I agree that everyone needs an advocate ... I feel for people who don't have someone to stand up for them. I've pushed and pushed to get my husband the help he needs ... physio, psychological, optical, etc., etc.. When your brain is injured, there are a lot of different things that are affected.
Fortunately he does have a doctor who has been absolutely wonderful and she has backed me up and has pursued things I haven't thought of as well.
The person we're having difficulty with is a "back to work coordinator" who deals with all sorts of workplace injuries. Probably the most common are things like strained backs or a broken bone. Those sorts of things usually have a finite healing process. For example, a bone heals in about 6-8 weeks. Back injuries might be a bit longer, but a person can often return to work on light duties with ergonomic measures in place.
But brain injuries are very different and each person with a brain injury is unique so you can't say, "In 12 months this person will be back to normal". Fortunately, brain injuries are less common workplace injuries, but unfortunately what this means is that this girl (who is very young and doesn't have a lot of experience anyway) hasn't dealt with people with brain injuries very often. So she is trying to apply what she knows from other injuries to my husband's situation.
More detail inside ...
Her "bag of tricks" consists of:
Sending him to a Men's Shed: https://mensshed.org/
"The Australian Men’s Shed Association (AMSA) is the peak body supporting almost 1000 Men’s Sheds and is recognised as one of Australia’s largest male based community development organisations."
Men get together to build things and chat or whatever. It seems like it's a good thing and has been around for more than a decade.
But her plan was to have him drive to one 30 km away every day ... oh, but wait ... he doesn't have a licence! So then I was supposed to drive him there. It's in the opposite direction of where I work, and I work full time. When was I supposed to find the time to drive him to this place? Then his female carer was supposed to drive him there ... and do what while he was there?
Sending him to work! "Because people feel better if they go to a job every day." Really? But he would not return to work as the General Manager of an orchard property (his job at the time of the accident), instead she'd have him sweeping up in a laundromat or fast food place. I put a stop to that idea immediately for two reasons: 1) he has a medical certificate that he is not to return to work at all yet, and 2) the law states that he cannot be put into a position below his pre-accident position.
There was a bit of whining ... that's what she usually does and it seems to work and she couldn't seem to understand why I wasn't impressed with the idea.
And the other thing she's always on about is that she wants to come up with a comprehensive plan. She wants to schedule every minute of his life. She was most upset and disappointed when she wasn't invited to a recent appointment with his doctor. She really wanted to attend that appointment so that she could sit down and spend an hour or so working out a detailed back-to-work plan with the doctor and us. So on the phone with her later, she demanded to know what kind of back-to-work plan we had come up with (without her). I said, "The doctor extended his medical leave for another month". Well if that was it, what else did we talk about then??? "Medical stuff" I said. When we go to a doctor, we talk medical stuff!! Isn't that usually what people talk to doctors about?
As a part of that conversation, she also couldn't figure out why he might need to go to a psychologist once in a while as a part of his treatment plan. Um ... it's been a rather traumatic year???
So ... after warding off most of those things earlier on, they all came back again in my most recent phone call with her. "Men's Shed" ... "Doing sweeping up in a shop stuff" ... and of course her ever-present Plan.
Meanwhile ...
My Grandmother's memorial service is tomorrow. They're recording it for me and I've written a tribute which my father will read.
And I've been called into a neurosurgeon to discuss my brain cyst. I have an appointment in early Feb.
M in Oz6 -
stats for the day:
bike ride hm 2 gym- 8.25min, 11.4amph, 141mhr, 1.5mi= 92c
TREADMILL jog- 20.40min, 10.20min mi, 5.5-10.0sp, 135ahr, 160mhr, 2mi= 207c
Floor exercises- 9.22min, 3sts of 10each, 7 diff. exercises, 102mhr= 47c
bike ride gym 2 dome- 5.49min, 130mhr, 15.2amph, 1.4mi= 58c
bike ride puy 2 sumn station- 15.09min, 12amph, 151mhr, 3mi= 153c
jog sta 2 wrk- 5.11min, 10.02min mi, 150mhr, .5mi= 71c
jog wrk 2 sta- 5.11min 10.02min mi, 148mmhr, .4mi= 58c
bike ride dome 2 hm- 19.54min, 7.8amph, 150mhr, 2.6mi= 212c
total cal 8982 -
Did an Advanced Strength DVD today. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Firm Maximum Cardio Burn DVD.
Suebdew – as far as the foods – I honestly don’t resist them totally. When I’m making them, I usually will sample. But I have to say that I’m lucky. I can have just a little bit and be satisfied. I know everyone isn’t like that, but as long as I have a taste, I’m fine.
Beth – Oh, I feel for you with water in your basement. We got water in the basement of our first house (high water table). Vince put all kinds of waterproofing paint on the walls, the water still came in. I know what a mess we used to have. That’s one reason why now every house we’ve bought he makes sure that it doesn’t get water in the basement. Sounds like you’re taking as many precautions as you can by keeping things in plastic totes.
Karen in VA – yea for your gs. What a testament to you!
Heather – feel better soon. Enjoy your celebration
Tracey – those pops are low in calories, high in calcium, high in protein and best of all…cheap. For some reason, it doesn’t taste as good unless you use orange juice. I tried apple, grape, but orange seems to be the best.
Home from the car place. Got an automatic dimming real view mirror installed. Personally, I think I could have lived without it, but Vince wanted it. Then stopped at Aldi only they didn’t have the meat I needed so went to Food Lion who was out of stock so I had to go to WalMart.
Yvonne – like I said to Tracey, orange seems to be the best. I like to use Greek yogurt. I remember when the kids were little, I’d give this to them for lunch! Today Jess (34) still likes them. Do you flavor your yogurt?
Michele in NC
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Sue in WA ... such difficult, but important conversations to have... continued prayers for you and your husband.1
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Hi Gals,
Lisa – glad you’re on the mend
Heather – hope DH is continuing to improve; I’ve not tried Haggis, but would – it doesn’t sound good but many times the individual components are better combined then they sound as a list.
Kelly – glad you are getting a kiddo break with an early evening
Sue – Important conversations, but hard ones – remember to think that you’ll need support both during this stage and after.
I am dealing with a change, and we’ll see what happens – I got notified – TODAY of 2 different things that will make a huge change for me…
I have a had a motto “leap and the net will appear” that has worked for me as I have had to make the big decisions in becoming and continuing in a business of my own. I do about 4 mornings of gardening (3 hours at each of private older clients = 6 hours a week, and then 10 hours a week at a children’s camp)
The children’s camp is run by the YMCA for the last 18 years but is on property owned by the local park department so there is a contract between the 2 agencies – well I had been told that the contract had been renewed last year for 5 years. NOT – so now the Y has decided to leave effective May 31, 2019 – so unless the park department finds another group to run the camp, and they want a garden, and I fit their needs for the gardener – I’m out a job. There are about 25 of us in the same boat.
Additionally, one of my garden clients has decided to remove her front and back English Gardens and put in lawn. I am sure she will be unhappy, but she has decided and wants to hear nothing about it, I’ll be gone from there in 6 months or so. I knew she was thinking lower maintenance and many things had been talked about – but this was a shock this morning. I had figured that the embroidery business was ramping up that it would cover the loss of the client; but it will not cover both - All of gardening is about 40% of my income – maybe it would have been 30% because the embroidery is doing so well this year; I will of course keep my fingers crossed about camp and will work there until the end of may as there is a $500 bonus for staying to the end, but do need to find something to fill in. There is a leap in my future!
The part that is such a bummer is I was beginning to get to a place that I could save some real money – as I don’t even have $100 in savings, and would really like to see at minimum a months house payment. I will be making no changes, just plans, until May and will tuck away as much as I can to help me over what ever might be ahead.
Kim from N. California
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Sue in WA, Since my husband's cancer diagnosis I have redoubled my efforts to spend time with him and pay attention to him. He has always been important but I have often put my own needs and interests first. Now I am more tuned to the realization that we will have a finite life together and I want to make the most of it.Kim, You are one of the most resourceful people I know and I admire you. I am sorry to hear that some of your clients are making big changes that will affect your livelihood.Allie, best wishes to you as you adjust to your new boss. Jake fixed lunch today. He found a baked chicken recipe that looked easy for him to follow and he fixed it with frozen corn and frozen mashed potatoes. It was so great to come home from line dance class and find lunch ready for me as soon as I changed my clothes. He says that the evidence that he is feeling better is that he has the energy to fix lunch on line dance days. After lunch we watched a funny movie on TV and then took a nap for two hours. Barbie
Stats for today:
*14,000 steps
*two hour line dance class
*165 minutes walking dogs
*113 minutes riding the exercise bike4 -
(((Kim)))1
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thanks!!! 2
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Big changes, Kim. I know you will make the very best of things. Maybe this is a chance to work 'smarter not harder'. You do such long hours. Give classes?
Sue - My thoughts are with you. And with Barbie. And anyone else who lives with an ill loved one.
I said to my DH this morning that one good effect of this awful virus is that it makes you realise what a lot of people have to cope with permanently. He is still finding it a struggle to do ordinary things. Coughing is a bit better.
I am just 'under the weather' and fed up.
Must go down to breakfast. Catch up later.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx4 -
Advice needed please. I'm not sure how to handle my mum, she is the main caregiver to my dad who has cancer and is at home.
Carers are starting on Monday to help wash and get him dressed if he feels well enough to go downstairs, if not to make him comfortable in bed ( prop him up for breakfast etc) It's as if my mum has "forgotten" how poorly my dad is.
I don't know if she is in denial or what, but she seems to expect him to do more for himself than he is able. Whether she is just letting off steam to me I'm not sure, but she'll say things like he's "driving me mad I'm up and down stairs all the time/he knows I'm making his breakfast and when I take it up he's asleep" I know it can be difficult getting him to take all his tablets - he's never been good at taking tablets and he does have a lot to take, but the rest of the time he's no bother. This morning I gently reminded her that he is very poorly and probably can't help falling asleep at mealtimes.
Do you think she's in denial? I know I was when my hubby was in hospital and it was such a shock when he passed because I honestly didn't expect it - he was too young! Looking back now I can't understand how I didn't know, but I thought he would be one of the lucky ones to recover from cancer.
I'm not sure if I should keep reminding her that he is not going to get better or not. What do you think?
Thanks for listening, I'm not sure how to handle things and would appreciate your thoughts. Viv UK
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Viv ((( ))) I am so sorry that your dad is ill and your mother is having a difficult time with it. IMO it does sound like your mom is in denial. Can you make sure when a carer is in the house, perhaps she gets a little time away to get some time to clear her head. Also, sometimes those closest to us don't want to hear or accept reality from us but will hear it from a professional. Perhaps a very compassionate doctor/nurse or carer can explain the prognosis to your mom. This is a challenging time, sending love and strength.
I've been swamped with work but will take time this weekend to celebrate my birthday weekend (57!) and, as many of you know, my DH's bday and our wedding anniversary (22 years of marriage) as well. We will celebrate as usual, staying at home cozy and warm, 2 happy introverts!
NYKAREN7 -
((((Kim)))), (((((Sue))))),((((Barbie)))),(((Viv))))))I didnt sleep well again last night, wondering if this is the new norm...
I am back in onderland again though so thats a plus.
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Advice needed please. I'm not sure how to handle my mum, she is the main caregiver to my dad who has cancer and is at home.
Carers are starting on Monday to help wash and get him dressed if he feels well enough to go downstairs, if not to make him comfortable in bed ( prop him up for breakfast etc) It's as if my mum has "forgotten" how poorly my dad is.
I don't know if she is in denial or what, but she seems to expect him to do more for himself than he is able. Whether she is just letting off steam to me I'm not sure, but she'll say things like he's "driving me mad I'm up and down stairs all the time/he knows I'm making his breakfast and when I take it up he's asleep" I know it can be difficult getting him to take all his tablets - he's never been good at taking tablets and he does have a lot to take, but the rest of the time he's no bother. This morning I gently reminded her that he is very poorly and probably can't help falling asleep at mealtimes.
Do you think she's in denial? I know I was when my hubby was in hospital and it was such a shock when he passed because I honestly didn't expect it - he was too young! Looking back now I can't understand how I didn't know, but I thought he would be one of the lucky ones to recover from cancer.
I'm not sure if I should keep reminding her that he is not going to get better or not. What do you think?
Thanks for listening, I'm not sure how to handle things and would appreciate your thoughts. Viv UK
Yes, she is in denial.
As you might know, my husband had a fall which resulted in a severe brain injury last March. The last year has been an incredible learning experience for me and I was warned over and over not to expect too much ... more or less to expect the worst. I also did a lot of research so I knew the spectrum of possible outcomes.
Last July, my grandmother had a fall and hit her head. She was in and out of hospital from then until she passed away on January 3.
But during that time, my mother (a nurse!) emailed me in varying degrees of frustration about Gramma. "I don't know why she's doing this or that?" and so on. I'm on the other side of the world, but in everything she said, I could see elements of my husband's progress or of what I'd researched. Many times I was able to email back and say, "Gramma is doing that because ..."
For example, the family (my parents, aunt, uncle, cousins, etc.) were confused why Gramma kept saying the food tasted bad. They tasted it and it was fine. I was the one who told them that even a small knock on the head can destroy the senses of taste and smell. My husband has lost his taste and smell, but is ever-so-slowly getting it back a very, very little at a time. All of a sudden her comments made sense to them but for some reason they hadn't thought of it or hadn't been told.
And there were other things going on that suggested to me that she was nearing the end, based on what my mother told me ... and yet the family were making all sorts of plans for where she would live and what she would do and this and that. It baffled me.
But it is possible that those closest to the situation might not see the situation clearly.
You might try reminding her of the little things. Rather than the big picture of "he's not going to get better", more like, "he may not be able to do this".
Also, it might be time to suggest they consider a move into a more convenient location so that your mother's life is easier. That can be a very difficult discussion, but if it means that your mother has less work to do (for example, no stairs to climb or perhaps dinners provided at the evening meal time), it might be a good thing.
M in Oz6 -
Viv - I would think she is scared and angry and wishes that none of this was happening.
She is also probably thinking, 'Where am I in all this?' It's really ok for her to feel resentful, it's normal. Life is so b....y unfair. Let her know that those feelings are ok and take her out and make a fuss of her now and again. Tell her she deserves a treat. It sounds like your dad will soon be at the point where he needs more care than she can give. She is not young. You will know when that time has come. Of course, you need to have the 'end stage' conversations as well, hard as that may be.
Your experience with your husband was a terrible shock and happened so quickly. Her experience is different.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You also are grieving and it has brought back your own grief, which is still raw. Do vent on here whenever you want. We are listening.
I'm having a logistical problem with the trip to York. Trains not running etc. Grrrrrrrrrr! On the verge of giving up. The hotel is cancellable.
Dental check up today. Then getting ready for Burn's Night. I did do all my exercises today.
DH upright and moving slowly.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx2 -
Good Morning All! I've all of you. Belated Happy New Years to all! My word for 2019 is BALANCE!
My goal for January 2019 was to change our eating habits. DH is focused on this after suffering with extreme bloat during the latter half of the year. After seeking direction from his doctor and getting a referral to a specialist he was told that he had gas easily cured with Gas-X and changing our foods. So we are doing an big decrease in white foods (sugar, flour, potatoes, pasta, and rice), decrease/elimination of fried foods (except fried chicken on Sundays ), and the active seeking of fresh produce. For the month of January we have both lost 6 pounds each thus far. The nice thing is that we don't feel deprived except in the late evening when we miss our usual desserts but since there is none in the house we just groan for a few minutes and move on.
Tere in RVA
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Today reached 38C (100.4F). 😎
I don't like the fires but I do like the heat! 😎2 -
Advice needed please. I'm not sure how to handle my mum, she is the main caregiver to my dad who has cancer and is at home.
Carers are starting on Monday to help wash and get him dressed if he feels well enough to go downstairs, if not to make him comfortable in bed ( prop him up for breakfast etc) It's as if my mum has "forgotten" how poorly my dad is.
I don't know if she is in denial or what, but she seems to expect him to do more for himself than he is able. Whether she is just letting off steam to me I'm not sure, but she'll say things like he's "driving me mad I'm up and down stairs all the time/he knows I'm making his breakfast and when I take it up he's asleep" I know it can be difficult getting him to take all his tablets - he's never been good at taking tablets and he does have a lot to take, but the rest of the time he's no bother. This morning I gently reminded her that he is very poorly and probably can't help falling asleep at mealtimes.
Do you think she's in denial? I know I was when my hubby was in hospital and it was such a shock when he passed because I honestly didn't expect it - he was too young! Looking back now I can't understand how I didn't know, but I thought he would be one of the lucky ones to recover from cancer.
I'm not sure if I should keep reminding her that he is not going to get better or not. What do you think?
Thanks for listening, I'm not sure how to handle things and would appreciate your thoughts. Viv UK
Viv She might be in denial. Regardless, your mum needs validation. Her feelings of frustration, exhaustion, futility, and resentment are normal, and so very common among caretakers. You don't want her to feel guilty for feeling that way...
I just read Heather's reply. She said it better.
Karen in Virginia3 -
Sue in WA - All good thoughts for you and your husband as you go through all this.
Viv - You've got much better advice than I could give--I'm glad you're there for your parents. Thinking of you.
Kim - That's a lot of blows in one day. As you go through these next months, I know you will keep your eyes open for that window of opportunity. It will open. Mine did. Yours will. When you're ready to leap, that net will appear. I know how incredibly determined you are. Thinking of you, too.
Machka - I'm glad there is at least the electronic connection for you to your grandma's memorial. You, too, are in my thoughts.
Allie - Congratulations on hitting ONE-der-land! So happy to see you determined and forward-looking on your weight! Not easy when work is stressful. So proud of you, my dear.
Rori - soon, you'll be able to type again. Frustrating, I know.
Y'all always help me keep things in perspective. Am so glad you're here--and so wish there were more I could do than just send support.
Finally seeing the civilian knee doctor this morning. More X-rays and MRIs in my future. There are worse things.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR6 -
Pppp0
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((((Sue and Viv))))) I’m so sorry. I know you must be exhausted both physically and mentally.
I am constantly amazed at how wise you all are in your responses and advice.2
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