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Adoption - Should Fat People Be Allowed to Adopt?
Replies
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On 600 lb life there was a couple who had adopted 4 kids I think plus had one of their own,she was bedridden and the kids had to take care of her mostly cuz her husband had end stage kidney failure,it made me sad cuz the youngest was only 10 and to think both of his parents were high risk and might pass away,I think they were able to adopt though cuz the kids had been born to addicts so maybe the criteria wasn't as strict,who knows what the right answer is in the situation,if I was a parent less kid I'd want to be in a home that made me feel loved but I'd also rather not hafta have a parent,depend on me for everything either5
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For what it's worth I do know at least one person who was abandoned by his adoptive parents. By abandoned, I mean kicked out. I suspect it's less common that the various abuses that can happen in foster homes, but it happens.
While I have never been in the child welfare system, I think the reality is that it's more complex than "we just need to get children in homes".7 -
For what it's worth I do know at least one person who was abandoned by his adoptive parents. By abandoned, I mean kicked out. I suspect it's less common that the various abuses that can happen in foster homes, but it happens.
While I have never been in the child welfare system, I think the reality is that it's more complex than "we just need to get children in homes".
I've known more than one person who was kicked out by biological parents as a minor teenager, so unless someone has found some way of predicting which parents will do that, I'm not sure what the value of pointing out that it happens with adoptive parents as well is. Because otherwise the only remedy is to allow no adoptions at all, which doesn't seem like a good outcome.11 -
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NorthCascades wrote: »
I agree, this was a really good idea for a debate post.7 -
So curiosity got the better of me and I googled a write up of the show. The star was trying to adopt a baby from South Korea, as it seems she taught there at one point. It turns out, she failed three requirements: They prefer not to adopt to single people (she is single), you cannot have a history of mental illness (I guess she does), and you have to be under a certain BMI (which she would need to lose 200 lbs to meet, they say).
I think it is understandable in an international adoption that the standards are rather high. They don't want to go through all the paperwork and financials, send the baby half way around the world, and then a couple of years later have that one parent unable to care for the child.
Based on skimming some other websites, it seems to me that adopting a child in foster care in the US has far fewer requirements, though it differs state to state, which again makes sense to me. However I believe it's rare to be able to adopt a baby from foster care, so you have to be willing to accept a slightly older child who may very well have trauma in their past.14 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »For what it's worth I do know at least one person who was abandoned by his adoptive parents. By abandoned, I mean kicked out. I suspect it's less common that the various abuses that can happen in foster homes, but it happens.
While I have never been in the child welfare system, I think the reality is that it's more complex than "we just need to get children in homes".
I've known more than one person who was kicked out by biological parents as a minor teenager, so unless someone has found some way of predicting which parents will do that, I'm not sure what the value of pointing out that it happens with adoptive parents as well is. Because otherwise the only remedy is to allow no adoptions at all, which doesn't seem like a good outcome.
I do as well and I know people online who have been kicked out before their teenagers. That said, we can't actually ethically tell people not to have children (and on the can of historical and contemporary worms that this could open up). My point, which may have been missed, is that adoption is in no way a cut and dry, "you can adopt this child" sort of situation.2 -
...if I was a parent less kid I'd want to be in a home that made me feel loved but I'd also rather not hafta have a parent,depend on me for everything either
I have not heard of the show in discussion, but I’ll chime in anyway.
I think a child’s quality of life depends on a complex tangle of things like adequate food, shelter, health care, emotional support, access to education, and physical/mental challenge/reward. If data could argue that a parent is significantly less likely to provide these things by being past a certain BMI, then I would side with that decision. However, parenting capacity isn’t eliminated just because a parent is in need of help. Both of my parents became disabled when I was a child. Sure, it took a lot to care for them as an only child, and I lost some “privilege” doing so, but they did everything they could as parents. I am SO grateful to have the childhood I did compared to a lot of my friends with “normal” parents. Plus, I think I turned out OK
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...if I was a parent less kid I'd want to be in a home that made me feel loved but I'd also rather not hafta have a parent,depend on me for everything either
I have not heard of the show in discussion, but I’ll chime in anyway.
I think a child’s quality of life depends on a complex tangle of things like adequate food, shelter, health care, emotional support, access to education, and physical/mental challenge/reward. If data could argue that a parent is significantly less likely to provide these things by being past a certain BMI, then I would side with that decision. However, parenting capacity isn’t eliminated just because a parent is in need of help. Both of my parents became disabled when I was a child. Sure, it took a lot to care for them as an only child, and I lost some “privilege” doing so, but they did everything they could as parents. I am SO grateful to have the childhood I did compared to a lot of my friends with “normal” parents. Plus, I think I turned out OK
Good point,the parents in this particular show DID show alot of love for their kids despite the kids having a lot of responsibility in caring for the parents and I think it is a better life for the kids than being shuffled from one place to another or no place at all3 -
So curiosity got the better of me and I googled a write up of the show. The star was trying to adopt a baby from South Korea, as it seems she taught there at one point. It turns out, she failed three requirements: They prefer not to adopt to single people (she is single), you cannot have a history of mental illness (I guess she does), and you have to be under a certain BMI (which she would need to lose 200 lbs to meet, they say).
I think it is understandable in an international adoption that the standards are rather high. They don't want to go through all the paperwork and financials, send the baby half way around the world, and then a couple of years later have that one parent unable to care for the child.
Based on skimming some other websites, it seems to me that adopting a child in foster care in the US has far fewer requirements, though it differs state to state, which again makes sense to me. However I believe it's rare to be able to adopt a baby from foster care, so you have to be willing to accept a slightly older child who may very well have trauma in their past.
Yes Whitney has many more problems than her weight and is no way capable of raising a child.
My take on the overall issue is not not only the health and ability to be active with a child, but also that the obese parent-to-be may not have proper knowledge of nutrition and activity needs and would pass along their “bad” habits resulting in weight problems for the child later on.5 -
They screen for obvious potential health risks.
A former colleague was a life long distance runner. Track I n high school. Clubs in college. Built like a distance runner. Very lean, ran every day at lunch. Loved the absolute picture of health.
He died 200 yards from finishing a half marathon in Raleigh. Cardiac arrest. Had no prior health or heart issues.
He was 32 years old.3 -
Well..I adopted
This was 12/23/15 when we signed the paperwork.
We adopted through foster care, yet we still had to get clearance through a doctor.
I work for the agency (different dept) but was told that a woman adopted and was sick and passed and the kids went to the family who weren’t any better then basically the family that had the kids to begin w.
To be honest adopting (private agencies) is really hard. They look over ur whole family, in depth, and everything about .
Yes I think that they should have health guidelines but not a weight limit...cause some people really can’t help it.20 -
ginagurl79 wrote: »Well..I adopted
This was 12/23/15 when we signed the paperwork.
We adopted through foster care, yet we still had to get clearance through a doctor.
I work for the agency (different dept) but was told that a woman adopted and was sick and passed and the kids went to the family who weren’t any better then basically the family that had the kids to begin w.
To be honest adopting (private agencies) is really hard. They look over ur whole family, in depth, and everything about .
Yes I think that they should have health guidelines but not a weight limit...cause some people really can’t help it.
Thank you for both fostering and adopting.10 -
ginagurl79 wrote: »Well..I adopted
This was 12/23/15 when we signed the paperwork.
We adopted through foster care, yet we still had to get clearance through a doctor.
I work for the agency (different dept) but was told that a woman adopted and was sick and passed and the kids went to the family who weren’t any better then basically the family that had the kids to begin w.
To be honest adopting (private agencies) is really hard. They look over ur whole family, in depth, and everything about .
Yes I think that they should have health guidelines but not a weight limit...cause some people really can’t help it.
Need that awesome button back.
Bravo Zulu.8 -
If we wanted to adopt before we became "too old" we would have been denied due to my wife's medical history not our weight.
It is nearly impossible to adopt over 40. Sometimes teenagers can be adopted out of foster care over 40.
Adopting out of foster care is definitely a lot less expensive than private agencies.
My sister in law adopted two toddlers out of foster care. Her other kids are all grown and on their own. Foster care is also now lenient regarding the health records of the prospective parents.5 -
I personally have serious doubts as to the usefulness of BMI as a single indicator towards a person's overall health.7
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I personally have serious doubts as to the usefulness of BMI as a single indicator towards a person's overall health.
Is your point that you don't think the woman whose experiences are recounted in the OP is actually obese and that BMI is misleading in her case? Or that you agree she's obese but you don't think this tells us anything relevant about the potential for health problems in her future?2 -
janejellyroll wrote: »I personally have serious doubts as to the usefulness of BMI as a single indicator towards a person's overall health.
Is your point that you don't think the woman whose experiences are recounted in the OP is actually obese and that BMI is misleading in her case? Or that you agree she's obese but you don't think this tells us anything relevant about the potential for health problems in her future?
It was a general statement, not related to a specific case. I think body composition is often assumed based on BMI, but BMI by itself is, in my opinion as a lay person, limited in its ability to indicate overall individual health.4 -
janejellyroll wrote: »I personally have serious doubts as to the usefulness of BMI as a single indicator towards a person's overall health.
Is your point that you don't think the woman whose experiences are recounted in the OP is actually obese and that BMI is misleading in her case? Or that you agree she's obese but you don't think this tells us anything relevant about the potential for health problems in her future?
It was a general statement, not related to a specific case. I think body composition is often assumed based on BMI, but BMI by itself is, in my opinion as a lay person, limited in its ability to indicate overall individual health.
BMi isn't meant to indicate overall individual health, so I'm not sure what the point is here.6 -
janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »I personally have serious doubts as to the usefulness of BMI as a single indicator towards a person's overall health.
Is your point that you don't think the woman whose experiences are recounted in the OP is actually obese and that BMI is misleading in her case? Or that you agree she's obese but you don't think this tells us anything relevant about the potential for health problems in her future?
It was a general statement, not related to a specific case. I think body composition is often assumed based on BMI, but BMI by itself is, in my opinion as a lay person, limited in its ability to indicate overall individual health.
BMi isn't meant to indicate overall individual health, so I'm not sure what the point is here.
I think that is my point. It seems to be being used as such, or did I read that wrong?0
This discussion has been closed.
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