Things people say when you lose weight

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  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    nitalieben wrote: »
    "Oh, you should stop, you're starting to look sickly"

    "Which diet are you following?"

    "Can you eat that?"

    "I can tell you work out"

    "You look like a whole new person" (This one actually hit me right in the feels, it was an old school mate, who hadn't seen me in years, and knew that I was overweight/obese nearly all my life. He said he barely recognised me)

    "Women shouldn't have too much muscle"

    "Are you developing an eating disorder?"

    "All that water can't be healthy"

    "You're getting so skinny, you should maintain that"

    "You can't have anything more to lose"

    "Want candy?"

    "How do you do it?"

    just wow.....
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    spyro88 wrote: »
    I don't like it when people ask me how much I've lost (which seems to be really common!?)

    Like if I put a number on it it will somehow validate the achievement?

    Why do they need to know?

    When I'm cagey about it they will push it and go "oh go on, you MUST know... is it around *insert number here*?"

    It's pretty personal in my opinion and I don't get why it matters? If they think I'm looking good then they can just say that and move on?

    (Yup - it's a real bug bear of mine!) :D

    just amazing, how nosy some people are.
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    Honestly, this is what I am least looking forward to as things open up. Especially visiting the in laws this summer, they are constantly commenting on everybody's body, but it seems I am the only obese person they have ever seen in their lives? FIL in particular finds it personally offensive.

    Maybe something can change so you don't have to visit. I can just feel what you are feeling as I have been there. That is terrible!!

  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    Honestly, this is what I am least looking forward to as things open up. Especially visiting the in laws this summer, they are constantly commenting on everybody's body, but it seems I am the only obese person they have ever seen in their lives? FIL in particular finds it personally offensive.

    Maybe something can change so you don't have to visit. I can just feel what you are feeling as I have been there. That is terrible!!

    The nieces and nephews and seeing MIL's face when her son comes in the door all make up for it. Even if her son is too scrawny (at least it isn't just me!)
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 745 Member
    Oh goodness. I'm so sorry about this and can relate a bit. Eating in front of my mother-in-law is terrifying. She's actually a really wonderful woman, but she has her own issues about food, which have been exacerbated by health problems with my father-in-law, and I feel like she's always watching me when I eat. I think when you're overweight or obese it's easy to feel like people are watching you when they really aren't, but the reality is some people *do* - and she's one of them. If I eat too what she thinks is too little, she comments. If I eat what she thinks is too much, she comments. If I don't eat things in whatever proportion she thinks is correct, she comments. I have no idea what she thinks is actually appropriate. It probably doesn't actually matter - I think she just wants to say something to me about what I'm eating and why it's wrong. It probably won't stop just because I get to a normal weight. She'll probably want to warn me about not going back - all for my own benefit, of course.[/quote]

    This is difficult and yet, you have the right to enforce healthy boundaries. ‘Thank you for your concern and I would appreciate you no longer commenting on what I eat’. Then stop talking and hear her comment or have both of you sit in the silence. You do not need to respond to anything she says. It would be hard to say and yet, has the potential to improve the relationship.