Things people say when you lose weight
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aimeemarie150 wrote: »How did you lose the weight? And when I answer with diet and exercise they look so disappointed like I didn't have a magical solution.
Haha, you should answer them, "Well I put it somewhere safe thinking I'd get back to it later, but now I can't remember where that place is!"14 -
Only my doctor has really asked how I lost the weight. I said, "Well I count calories and I eat less and move more." As it is her business to know that, it seemed reasonable. And she seemed satisfied with my answer.
I did have three people comment on my weight loss. Two seemed shocked at *how much* I had lost, which at that point was only 15 pounds or so. I wanted to ask..."was I huge before?" The third who asked was very polite and confirmed that I meant to lose weight (i.e. I was not sick) before congratulating me on it. I thought that was sweet.6 -
I find that most people are eager to recognise/support my efforts but don't really know what to say - I'm happy when they say 'you're looking good/trim/fit/well' regardless of any connotations that it may have that I didn't before. After all, before I was uncomfortable, struggled with mobility and wore pretty awful clothes. Most of my friends/family mean it kindly, those who may be a bit snide (can't think of anyone to be fair) I wouldn't give a second thought to. I have only been asked once how I did it - I just replied that I stopped eating all the pies!
When I turn down cakes/donuts/chocolates not planned into my day I have several times heard the response - that's why she's so slim (I'm not yet- but am a normal BMI now) and we're not.
@TanyaHooton - I love that quip - funny but not a put down4 -
My mom just said, while on a walk together, “You really have lost weight. I can tell your hips are smaller.”
It made me very happy because I have huge hips. I don’t mind it people notice that I’m smaller, because I know I really was big before.10 -
FarmMom2013 wrote: »People ask if I've lost weight.
Response "Yes, 165 lbs so far but I still have a few more to lose"
Their response to that is "Don't you feel a lot better?"
Well DUH! Of course I feel 'better' I'm not carrying an extra person around all the time! I don't know why it irritates me when they ask that but it does.
That really irritates me also, although for me it's kind of the opposite. I felt WAY better at 260 lb than I did over 300 yes...but honestly, I felt great from 260 all the way down to 160s and not a whole lot different except for cosmetically speaking.
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When I decline treats from someone at work: « you still need to enjoy life y’know. »
Yeah I know, if I want it I’ll have it. Whatever they’re trying to force down my throat won’t make me enjoy my life any more or less!13 -
How are you losing the weight? Low carb right?
No I just reduced my calories and started moving more.
Blank stare11 -
I've gotten the same as others: 'You've lost weight. Annnnd, was this intentional?' Well, I weighed more than 300 pounds. Do you just want to ask me if I have cancer? (I don't) If I had weight loss surgery? (I didn't) We're all adults here, just say what you want to say!
The weirdest to me is when people really don't recognize me. I lost more than 100 pounds and I get that if I haven't seen you in a while there is quite a difference, but I've had people I have known for years completely ignore me in situations where the context should have helped them out.
My favorite: at DFW airport a few months ago. The TSA agent at security checked my ID--my driver's license photo was taken at my heaviest, I weighed at least 100 pounds more than I did at the time. She looked at the license, looked at me and said, 'You look great. You keep taking good care of you.' I had actually regained about 40 pounds of my 130 pound weight loss and was feeling especially crappy about it. Having a stranger objectively see the difference I had still achieved and mentioning it in a kind way really stuck with me.55 -
Annoying uncle on skype who I haven't seen since weight-loss: "Are you still skinny or have you gained it all back yet?"
I was an overweight yo-yo dieter all my life before, so I understand where he's coming from, but yeah, it stung.26 -
Hungry_Shopgirl wrote: »Annoying uncle on skype who I haven't seen since weight-loss: "Are you still skinny or have you gained it all back yet?"
I was an overweight yo-yo dieter all my life before, so I understand where he's coming from, but yeah, it stung.
Now, I'm not totally sure how skype works, but is instant disconnection an option so that you don't have to tolerate toxic comments like this?6 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »My aunt calls me "Skinny Minnie" every time she sees me.
You'd have to see this aunt, she's skin and bones, has been all her life. She and her daughter (my cousin) are genetically predisposed to being skin and bones (with no boobs or bum either). My sister got those genes and struggles to gain weight as well.
Anyway, she's skin and bones but calls me skinny.
I mentioned this upthread, but that's the worst to me...seems very condescending, whether it's meant to be or not.
This is the same family member (maybe I should have mentioned earlier) who would also call attention to the fact that I had curves when I was 15-16, which was sexual in tone and quite inappropriate for a minor at a family gathering. Perhaps I'm just salty about her commenting on my body for years.
I probably should not refer to her as "skin and bones" either, but she is quite literally that thin, you can see her bones. I apologize if that is offensive.12 -
Times change
About 2 years ago I dropped about 25 lbs, everyone mentioned it! No one asked me if I was ill but everyone commented on how good I looked.
It took 2 years to gain it all back
I've lost almost 30 lbs since January and no one mentions it. I met up with some friends last night and I thought that they would say something but nope.
I kind of liked the outside acknowledgement that I am succeeding21 -
Madwife2009 wrote: »Hungry_Shopgirl wrote: »Annoying uncle on skype who I haven't seen since weight-loss: "Are you still skinny or have you gained it all back yet?"
I was an overweight yo-yo dieter all my life before, so I understand where he's coming from, but yeah, it stung.
Now, I'm not totally sure how skype works, but is instant disconnection an option so that you don't have to tolerate toxic comments like this?
As*****😡4 -
"You eat so much. How are you so small?"
"Where do you put it all?!"
I get this one a lot at work, lol. I bring a LOT of small meals/snacks to get me through the day so I'm not tempted to eat the donuts or pizza that the nurse buys for the whole shift on nearly a daily basis. At home, I'm fine with just eating a few normal meals to stay in my macro/calorie range, but here at work if I don't eat frequently I'll fall off the wagon.
What they don't realize, though, is it SEEMS like a lot of food, but its all within my limits.17 -
"I would do that but I enjoy food/chocolate". This is what I get the most. Or " don't you miss food?"
I eat everything I just stay in a deficit. I am not doing anything restrictive , at all ( my cals are 1500). I truly don't know what to say to that besides "trust me I eat" which no one seems to believe.9 -
brittanystebbins95 wrote: »"You eat so much. How are you so small?"
"Where do you put it all?!"
I get this one a lot at work, lol. I bring a LOT of small meals/snacks to get me through the day so I'm not tempted to eat the donuts or pizza that the nurse buys for the whole shift on nearly a daily basis. At home, I'm fine with just eating a few normal meals to stay in my macro/calorie range, but here at work if I don't eat frequently I'll fall off the wagon.
What they don't realize, though, is it SEEMS like a lot of food, but its all within my limits.
I do the same thing! On my nurses unit we always have potlucks and it gets frustrating with all the questions as to why I am not participating anymore. But I usually just have to remind them that I am counting calories and they back off. I may eat off the veg/fruit tray or use a generic entry for chips and salsa depending on how I am doing that week.4 -
my ex mother in law used to say... "you'll gain it all back" never anything positive.19
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I wouldn't say this is negative, but it always makes me a little sad: I get a lot of people that say things like "Good for you, I could never do something like that" or "I wish I had that kind of self-discipline".
It's hard to hear because I felt that way for SO LONG, that hopeless feeling of 'good for other people, but I could never do that'. It's a challenge and a lifestyle change, for sure, but it's doable when you build good habits and find what works for you.20 -
shannafran1992 wrote: »I wouldn't say this is negative, but it always makes me a little sad: I get a lot of people that say things like "Good for you, I could never do something like that" or "I wish I had that kind of self-discipline".
It's hard to hear because I felt that way for SO LONG, that hopeless feeling of 'good for other people, but I could never do that'. It's a challenge and a lifestyle change, for sure, but it's doable when you build good habits and find what works for you.
I agree, and it drives me up the wall when people say their "naturally" a certain weight, on both sides of the spectrum. Your habits dictate your weight, and while some have more obstacles than others, you are in control of your weight because you are the one choosing what to eat.8 -
When someone tells me that they can't/don't have enough discipline to stick to calorie counting, my response is "it depends on how much you want it".13
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My aunts said to me, you’re looking good still, so you’ve kept the weight off then? Before saying as leaving keep looking good. I lost most of my weight over a year ago, maybe I’m a bit sensitive as not used to having weight talked about like that, or maybe it was rude, coz god dammit Ive always looked good lol, I’m just a little smaller now!14
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I lost just over 30 pounds, most of it in 2018.
Mostly everything I've heard is supportive. I did have a couple friends who were concerned I was becoming obsessed with food and maybe developing an unhealthy relationship and an eating disorder. I assured them, no, I'm just logging what I eat, and I am working towards a goal. I got to my goal weight and told them so; they were relieved and congratulatory. They do think I've done well. I've inspired some others in our group to make an effort, so that's great.
I play Ultimate. Spring League is a "hat league." Everyone enters as an individual, rates their own level of play, and then teams are drafted to be generally competitive with each other. Summer League is a "team league" where you find a team or make a team and all play together. At my first Spring League game, someone on my Summer League team saw me and said hi, and then, "Wow, you are looking fit!" I'm actually feeling fit, and I feel faster than ever. I reminded him I had lost most of my weight before/during our last summer season, but I guess I've been making other gains as well as dropping the last five or ten pounds.
Another good friend I've known since maybe 1983 told me many months ago that I'm looking too skinny. Well.... I wasn't. I still had that last pesky six or so pounds that really wanted to stick around. He doesn't see me without a shirt, so how would he know? My BMI is near the center of "normal" at about 22.6, which was my goal when I started. I'd like to get it down one more point to smack in the middle of the range, and I would like to get my body composition dialed in a little more (body fat <17%). This same friend told me that "You have to eat four small meals per day." I said, "According to who?" He grumbled and shook his head.
I've definitely had folks ask if my weight loss was intentional. It always sounded to me as if that was coming from a place of genuine concern. At our age, folks have had ample opportunities to see friends succumb to disease. I never thought of their comments as problematic in any way. They were always followed up with some nice compliment after I said it was intentional. They would often ask why and how, and I'd tell 'em. Some folks get it; some don't. It's just an energy balance. Simple, but not easy!
Here's something to ponder if you ski. I met up with an old friend recently. She had also lost about 30 pounds, but not intentionally. She was trying to track down a food intolerance. She was happy to be lighter! She's also on Ski Patrol. She had a minor fall last year, and won't be walking any time soon -- still recovering from surgery and putting back some of her weight, though she's trying to keep that from happening. The reason for her injury? She didn't think about resetting the DIN on her bindings after losing 30 pounds! Be careful out there. She was suggesting I should do the same when I reminded her I am a telemark skier, and we don't have releasable bindings. It scares me.
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Aside from my family, I have had zero comments about my weight loss (15kgs/33lbs so far). Which is great, honestly, because I don't want my weight to become a topic of conversation.
Still, I had two unexpected and unusual comments that stuck with me: "You look great with that hat" and "I love your sneakers" (both of which I've had for a long time, and I wear them regularly, but I never got any compliments when I was heavier). Does that mean I'm no longer invisible, and that people are looking into my extremities (head and feet)? 17 -
Best: silence.
Worst: how much have you lost?
My thought: please do not talk about my body.
Me: smile and change the topic.13 -
To be honest...
For me it doesn’t matter what people say. From some you here nice things from others not. My measurements are my relevant feedback system and that is important for me. I measure every Monday morning and get a real feedback.
People’s feedback are always subjective, the truth comes from right measurement.
Most important for us should be that we’ll never give up, always stand up when we’re struggling or falling and being relaxed when hearing straingh things from others.
Nice Friday for all and a really cool weekend 🤟🔥😎10 -
I have yet to have any negative things said to me on this weight loss journey. All feed back I have had has been positive and people being encouraging of my weightloss.
On my previous weightloss, before baby #2 and prior to nursing school, my sister made a comment that really chapped my hide. She told me that I was getting too thin and that a smaller weight didn't look right. I understand that she meant well and she was afraid that I would become obsessive, but I was only at 153lbs at that time. I am 5'3" and was still categorized as overweight at that time. I was proud of the loss I had achieved and was happy there. I just dont think that she understood. All my young adult life I had struggled with self esteem problems and compared myself to others. She has always been confident in herself and not worried about her weight. I honestly dont think she has seen below 200lbs in some time though. 😪
I just hope my comments about living a healthier lifestyle this time around get through to her and she understands I am doing this for myself and my children. Sorry for the soapbox. 😁10 -
Boss “are you losing weight?” Yes!! 33 pounds down so thank you for noticing
Dumb coworker “if you keep losing weight your boobs are going to be huge if you don’t lose those too” 🙄 okay thanks for the input
And my grandma said I looked taller probably because I have an actual shape now9 -
It winds me up when people comment on my food. Like "oh that's too healthy" or "one cake won't hurt you". It's like saying no to cake is the ultimate insult to people. Sometimes I accept food I end up hiding on the side and throwing away later just not deal with the nonsense which is totally unacceptable.14
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“Oh, have you tried X diet? It’s great!”
Usually said by someone who has had far less success with dieting and weight loss than you have.
Seriously, what IS it with people’s apparent need to give unsolicited weight loss advice (and usually woo, to boot) to someone who clearly doesn’t need it?!17 -
“Oh, have you tried X diet? It’s great!”
Usually said by someone who has had far less success with dieting and weight loss than you have.
Seriously, what IS it with people’s apparent need to give unsolicited weight loss advice (and usually woo, to boot) to someone who clearly doesn’t need it?!
YES. This drives me crazy. For the past 5-6 years (since losing my desired amount of weight) I feel like this is a constant onslaught from people who have a lot they want to lose and learned of these other diets and methods from people who also have a lot they want to lose. I used to get offended or upset by it in the beginning but now I just consider it like a weird quirky phenomenon, pretty much.
A friend of mine hopes to lose 70+ and she tries all the fad diets, shake products, and pills. She texted me recently that her coworker lost 8 lb in a week on the "weight loss coffee" and wondered I thought she should try it, too. I wrote out a big long reply but then deleted it and just didn't respond AT ALL because I'm so sick of telling her about losing and maintaining weight loss through calorie deficit (when she asks me my opinion).11
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