Things people say when you lose weight
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I lost 125 pounds 16 years ago, my mother was still alive. I had been hovering around 275/280 and got down to 150. When I was around 175 (I'm 5'1" so still obese) she told me I had lost enough weight. I would look unhealthy if I lost more. Normally she was very supportive so this struck me as very strange. She was 5'5" and weighed approximately 300 pounds at the time. She had been a 14/16 most of my life though I knew she was skinny as a young woman. I think she was jealous. It made me sad and angry. She lost her fight with cancer without much of a fight and I blame that on weight. It was just too hard. After she died, I gained back about half of that weight. I started tracking and moving last year and it's going much slower but I'm still losing. I wonder what she would say now after what happened to her.52
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After I lost a bunch of weight ten years ago, I had a family member tell that I looked great which was nice to hear. Unfortunately, she then added "you were such a fat little thing before but look at you now". The worst thing is that I have gained the weight and then some back again. Also, she is always pointing out overweight people and talking about how awful they look.
I have another family member that is always offering unsolicited advice such as drink diet soda instead of regular soda and don't eat cheeseburgers. I haven't drank soda for years and I rarely eat meat.20 -
serendipity22 wrote: »After I lost a bunch of weight ten years ago, I had a family member tell that I looked great which was nice to hear. Unfortunately, she then added "you were such a fat little thing before but look at you now". The worst thing is that I have gained the weight and then some back again. Also, she is always pointing out overweight people and talking about how awful they look.
I have another family member that is always offering unsolicited advice such as drink diet soda instead of regular soda and don't eat cheeseburgers. I haven't drank soda for years and I rarely eat meat.
People are/can be such a TRIP (and not a good one)...{{{ Hugs}}}. Life has taught me that tit for tat is almost always useless. YAY YOU for not "bowing down" to her yuck and engaging that "mess".
Use her/their negative/nasty energy and words as a motivator to push you into making sure you will NEVER speak/treat others like that and as an inspiration of sorts to MAKE yourself accomplish your goals, not to prove/show others their wrong but because you're tough like that and can! Use that wicked stuff to make you better instead of bitter--that'll get em for sure!7 -
I've barely lost enough to have people notice, but one of the few who did notice asked what I was doing, and when I said I was counting calories she went off on how she thinks she needs to eat lower carbs. She's not someone with a lot to lose, and wasn't really asking me for advice, but it was still obvious she didn't want to hear "calorie deficit".seltzermint555 wrote: »[
A friend of mine hopes to lose 70+ and she tries all the fad diets, shake products, and pills. She texted me recently that her coworker lost 8 lb in a week on the "weight loss coffee" and wondered I thought she should try it, too. I wrote out a big long reply but then deleted it and just didn't respond AT ALL because I'm so sick of telling her about losing and maintaining weight loss through calorie deficit (when she asks me my opinion).9 -
NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »serendipity22 wrote: »After I lost a bunch of weight ten years ago, I had a family member tell that I looked great which was nice to hear. Unfortunately, she then added "you were such a fat little thing before but look at you now". The worst thing is that I have gained the weight and then some back again. Also, she is always pointing out overweight people and talking about how awful they look.
I have another family member that is always offering unsolicited advice such as drink diet soda instead of regular soda and don't eat cheeseburgers. I haven't drank soda for years and I rarely eat meat.
People are/can be such a TRIP (and not a good one)...{{{ Hugs}}}. Life has taught me that tit for tat is almost always useless. YAY YOU for not "bowing down" to her yuck and engaging that "mess".
Use her/their negative/nasty energy and words as a motivator to push you into making sure you will NEVER speak/treat others like that and as an inspiration of sorts to MAKE yourself accomplish your goals, not to prove/show others their wrong but because you're tough like that and can! Use that wicked stuff to make you better instead of bitter--that'll get em for sure!
I'm not worried about what she has to say. I know I'm adorable now matter what I weigh. Next year at this time, I will be stronger, more flexible, healthier and thinner. I have already lost almost 9 pounds in the last 6 weeks. Fortunately, most of the people in my life are awesome. My friend has been going with me to try all sorts of new and fun fitness classes last year and this year. So far, we have tried ballet, spin, barre, zumba, kung fu, karate, yoga, pilates and belly dance. We have a list of many more fitness classes and sports to try. I'm sorry that my relative has an issue with overweight people but that's her problem.8 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »
I've barely lost enough to have people notice, but one of the few who did notice asked what I was doing, and when I said I was counting calories she went off on how she thinks she needs to eat lower carbs. She's not someone with a lot to lose, and wasn't really asking me for advice, but it was still obvious she didn't want to hear "calorie deficit".seltzermint555 wrote: »[
A friend of mine hopes to lose 70+ and she tries all the fad diets, shake products, and pills. She texted me recently that her coworker lost 8 lb in a week on the "weight loss coffee" and wondered I thought she should try it, too. I wrote out a big long reply but then deleted it and just didn't respond AT ALL because I'm so sick of telling her about losing and maintaining weight loss through calorie deficit (when she asks me my opinion).
You know, I had a coworker who said almost the same thing. She then proceeded to ask another coworker if wheat bread had carbs. The lack of nutrition education is kind of scary sometimes.8 -
You look handsome, great, healthy, or sexy. Now, I get "you are funny" or "you are nice". Good friendzone stuff. lol10
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serendipity22 wrote: »NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »serendipity22 wrote: »After I lost a bunch of weight ten years ago, I had a family member tell that I looked great which was nice to hear. Unfortunately, she then added "you were such a fat little thing before but look at you now". The worst thing is that I have gained the weight and then some back again. Also, she is always pointing out overweight people and talking about how awful they look.
I have another family member that is always offering unsolicited advice such as drink diet soda instead of regular soda and don't eat cheeseburgers. I haven't drank soda for years and I rarely eat meat.
People are/can be such a TRIP (and not a good one)...{{{ Hugs}}}. Life has taught me that tit for tat is almost always useless. YAY YOU for not "bowing down" to her yuck and engaging that "mess".
Use her/their negative/nasty energy and words as a motivator to push you into making sure you will NEVER speak/treat others like that and as an inspiration of sorts to MAKE yourself accomplish your goals, not to prove/show others their wrong but because you're tough like that and can! Use that wicked stuff to make you better instead of bitter--that'll get em for sure!
I'm not worried about what she has to say. I know I'm adorable now matter what I weigh. Next year at this time, I will be stronger, more flexible, healthier and thinner. I have already lost almost 9 pounds in the last 6 weeks. Fortunately, most of the people in my life are awesome. My friend has been going with me to try all sorts of new and fun fitness classes last year and this year. So far, we have tried ballet, spin, barre, zumba, kung fu, karate, yoga, pilates and belly dance. We have a list of many more fitness classes and sports to try. I'm sorry that my relative has an issue with overweight people but that's her problem.
Absolutely, positively, unequivocally WOW! I've been on this earth for many moons, and I don't remember EVER hearing anyone describe themselves as "adorable" ( I have myself and have heard tons of other peeps use that "term" ADORABLE to describe others, but never have heard someone using it for/of/about themselves...I LOVE THAT. I've also heard for YEARS and YEARS people say "that's their problem" and even though I always knew what the words "that's" "their" "problem" meant--I'd never fully and "truly" understood what that really meant..."That's their/your/his/her problem" really meant. "that's their problem" always seemed to be a sort of "pat or tit for tat" type of response to me. Because of the decluttering & weight blastification trials and tribulation and wins and victories--I finally "got it" ( that's their problem--IT'S NOT ABOUT ME SO MUCH AS IT IS ABOUT THEM so to speak) and that you do "get it" is simply tremendous--YAY YOU!
Your reply here is nothing less than inspiring and refreshingly encouraging. Again, super mega YAY YOU!!!
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That was me too, Serendipity22; my aunt was telling a friend (about me, in front of me) "she looks so good! And she was so fat before") as she was pinching my waist. That incident was one that made me want to keep the pounds on for a long time. I only lost the weight when I realized that I didn't care and I was going it for me.5
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Worse one was, “looking good. There’s no reason to be ashamed. Losing weight looks easy but I’ve never tried.”
Favorite one was, “looking skinny.” And I say I’m still over 200 ( I was 205) and she says “ oh my gosh you look 170!” And I just thought that was so awesome someone thought I looked like my almost goal weight (160) and I still have 40 pounds to go.11 -
Worse one was, “looking good. There’s no reason to be ashamed. Losing weight looks easy but I’ve never tried.”
Favorite one was, “looking skinny.” And I say I’m still over 200 ( I was 205) and she says “ oh my gosh you look 170!” And I just thought that was so awesome someone thought I looked like my almost goal weight (160) and I still have 40 pounds to go.
I kind of love that one too. Even if people were just flattering me, I liked it when a couple friends and relatives have said things like "I would not think you were over 150!" when I mentioned my weight (170).1 -
I hate it when guys say YOU ARE STARTING TO LOOK GOOD!!! Really?? Was I ugly before? I don't think that when I look at men!!! I think a lot of men need to look at themselves in the mirror and stop judging women by their weight!!!!!31
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Booksandoceans wrote: »Best: silence.
Worst: how much have you lost?
My thought: please do not talk about my body.
Me: smile and change the topic.
AMEN! Yes!!! This 💯 %9 -
I do our neighborhood weekly newsletter, and often put in plugs for local businesses. One week I put in a paragraph for a local hypnotherapist.
Three neighbors signed up because they were sure it was my super secret weight loss weapon.
When people ask “how much have you lost?” I make a point of grinning hugely, waving my arms expressively and dramatically, and airily say,”oh, lots and lots and LOTS!”
“How much more do you want to lose?” generally gets the same response.
Strangely enough, my neighborhood is fascinated by this whole process and are some of my biggest cheerleaders, as are random people from the county courthouse I walk past several times a day. But my faves are the homeless guys on the Square, who are invariably the politest and most respectful with their comments.
I have one particularly annoying and irritating neighbor who talks about it every time I see her. I just remind myself what a PITA she is in general and nod politely. If I were to waste my arm gestures with her, I’m afraid they’d they’d be of a completely different sort.
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I lost 2 stone over an 18 month period, dropped jeans and shirts sizes and generaly look better now but after the "wow, you've done well" now I'm getting "don't loose more or you'll be skinny". I'm still 13.5 stone, with small gut, handles and moobs! There's plenty to go!
It's mostly my office and most of the guys my age (37) and older are retund!
It's like people are becoming to see rounder figures as normal and unsure how to hanlde someone who has and is loosing weight.11 -
"I wish I had your discipline."
Sure, I'm doing great NOW, but it was hard at first. Anyone can get there, I just believe there has to be a catalyst. A REAL reason, not only to do it, but to do it for life. My reasons and what motivated me changed over time. The way I feel right now is why I'm never going to stop. It's not so much that I always feel great. It's more that I no longer feel terrible. Sometimes you don't know how bad you feel until you start feeling better.
And, my absolute favorite (maximum sarcasm)...
"You look good" and other compliments like that. They make me cringe and I feel so phony hearing them. I'm getting better at hiding my negative reactions to compliments, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to just accept them or believe them. I think this is kind of like loose skin after losing so much weight. I'm over my depression and anxiety, but there's definitely some loose emotional skin left behind. We all have our scars, I suppose.26 -
A “friend” asked me how much weight I’ve lost so far. When I answered, she facetiously suggested we “celebrate” by going out for banana splits. I can’t at this stage tell if she’s a frenemy or, as my husband believes, simply a dingbat.
We’re often asked if we’re on the same diet that this other couple we know are on. Actually we’re not following a diet. We’re simply making healthy choices.
I do have some restrictions, though, due to allergies. People may see me avoiding a certain food and jump to the conclusion that it’s connected to my so-called diet. Not every food choice I make is about losing weight.
Which leads to, people may also tell me not to worry about losing weight because I’m beautiful the way I am. Thank you, but I’m not doing this because I want to be beautiful. I’m doing it because I want to be healthy.
Some have counseled me not to be afraid to eat. I’m not afraid. I’m simply not hungry.20 -
I'm sorry but I had to laugh. I had a similar experience. My grandfather died last year and lots of people were coming to our house to offer condolences - to my family and me. So in my country it's customary to shake hands or kiss and say "my condolences" then like sit for half an hour, eat, drink and leave. That's all before the funeral so literally the day you find out that someone has died (which is kinda brutally fast, don't know what it's like in the US/UK).
Anyways, my mum's cousin, whom I have not seen for at least five years, dropped her jaw at me when she saw me, rushed to me, went to kiss me and said "wow, you've melted away".
So my grandfather with whom I lived all my life has died that day, and she says not "hi", not "wow, it's been a while", not "my condolences" but "you've melted away". I stood there in shock. Now it's just funny yet still pretty unbelievable
springlering62 wrote: »This is hands down the strangest weight loss experience I’ve had.
A neighbor who lifts recommended me to my gym and my awesome trainer. He told her a bunch of neighbors went out to dinner and had a discussion on how much weight I’d lost and how different I looked, and he told them about my training. (She told me because she was proud for me, not thinking that would kinda piss me off. She’s like a little power lifting fairy- never an ill thought crosses her mind )
I went to a memorial service for neighbor’s daughter yesterday, and another neighbor came up and hugged me. That was OK. There was a lot of that going on under the circs.
But then he grabbed me by both shoulders and proceeded to feel my arms up through my jacket. I mean he squeezed them up and down like he was at a meat market. Then he grinned and gave me a thumbs up.
I was so embarrassed at his behavior. Inappropriate at any place and any time, but at a memorial, too? For Pete’s sake!
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"Are you sick?"3
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"Please don't report me to HR or EEO or anything, but how much weight have you lost? You look fantastic."
I had been afraid no one at work noticed my hard work. Turned out they were all afraid to make a comment and get reported for harassment. (I'm the only woman at a construction company.)
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"You've lost a lot of weight haven't you?"
"What did you do to lose that much?"
They're all very surprised when I say that I'm not on a diet but just watch and weigh what I eat.
Most annoying question is: "I don't want to be rude, but do you mind if I ask how much you've lost?"
They're curious about my weight now and my weight then, I used to be secretive about that, but I'm getting used to just being open about it and receiving the "compliments".9 -
I've received a variety of responses to my 62 lb. weight loss, a mix of negative and positive:
Negative:
"You look pale. I think you need to stop losing weight."
"Don't get too skinny."
"Have you lost weight?" (-very overweight coworker who sits next to me after I've lost like 65 lbs.... Um, yes.)
"If you lose any more weight you're going to disappear."
Positive:
"You look totally different from the last time I saw you."
"You look great/amazing/very nice."
"You're so tiny."
"You've done an incredible job."
"You're my inspiration."
"I see other people lose weight but gain it back, but you have continued losing. What have you been doing?"
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Today a coworker told me. "Look at you, girl, you're withering away!"
From anyone else this would have seemed rude and been very annoying, but this particular coworker always means well and she said it beaming from ear to ear and followed it up by asking what I've been doing. She looked shocked when I told her that I only work out when I feel like it and when I don't I just don't.9 -
MrsBradyBunch wrote: »A “friend” asked me how much weight I’ve lost so far. When I answered, she facetiously suggested we “celebrate” by going out for banana splits. I can’t at this stage tell if she’s a frenemy or, as my husband believes, simply a dingbat.
I had a relative that would always want to do this after we went to the gym. Update: she's still fat.
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One that really peeves me off is, "Keep losing weight, and soon you won't need your cane anymore." I don't use a cane because I'm too fat to walk. People much larger than I am can walk without assistive devices. I use a cane because I was injured in a car accident. Even if I lose another 100 pounds, that's never going away.50
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MrsBradyBunch wrote: »One that really peeves me off is, "Keep losing weight, and soon you won't need your cane anymore." I don't use a cane because I'm too fat to walk. People much larger than I am can walk without assistive devices. I use a cane because I was injured in a car accident. Even if I lose another 100 pounds, that's never going away.
That is really awful.
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I had just completed a difficult 4 days over 2 cities across the county to present to Gonvernment auditor. A very stress full time but I rocked it and passed all audits. My boss was traveling with me and when we parted at the airport to go to separate sides of the country, she hugged me and said she was so proud of me. I was on cloud nine, she did notice what a rock star job I had done! But then, right after she said she was proud, she said "loosing weight is very hard". Nice either way but it took away from the excellent work I had done for the audits. I will take it anyway!19
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