What is your key to a long successful marriage ?

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  • _TimeForMe
    _TimeForMe Posts: 156 Member
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    Married for 14, together for 17... Never keep a loaded gun in the house!! The feeling will pass! he he he, jk.
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
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    A fundamental belief that you are better of in this big, scary world by uniting forces rather than being alone. Oh, and a sense of humor and adventure.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    Don't share with your partner your complaints you have with them. Instead communicate with them how you'd rather be treated.
    Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements.
    Don't tolerate bad behavior from your partner. If you cave into a temper tantrum your partner is throwing (usually about sex or money) you are setting yourself up for more of that same behavior. If your partner gets his/her way after throwing a tantrum, he/she will throw more tantrums in the future. It is just human nature. If you don't want to be treated like that, don't cave into unreasonable requests.

    ETA: I don't think we need to share everything with each other. We've always had separate bank accounts, separate emails, separate phone numbers ect. We don't use the toilet in front of each other. There are just some things that just don't need to be shared. A little mystery keeps the sparks flying.
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    Dont join MFP...lol
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Separate vacations.
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    Alcohol.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    I been married for 17 years tomorrow.... the key was living in separate houses for the 1st 10 years
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    This may sound silly but thinking about this question, how about this one and it is one so many people don't do and that is marry someone you actually like.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    This may sound silly but thinking about this question, how about this one and it is one so many people don't do and that is marry someone you actually like.

    I don't like my husband at all. I love him. There is a difference. We spend 24/7 together.
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    I think that is awesome and he is a lucky guy. Just know though, not all couples are like that. I know many that never truly liked each other but went with it cause the sex was good or he or she had money or whatever the case was. It wasn't for the right reasons and they never got along.
  • xmel123x
    xmel123x Posts: 63
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    We have been together 13 years and married for 4. Definitely humour, letting things go that don't matter, never go to bed angry with each other, make time to do things together, but have your own interests, be kind, think of how the other person is feeling, don't be selfish, learn how to talk to each other the right way and at the right times if you have a problem and make sure you do rather than stewing over it, things will never be perfect - but thats ok!

    But my two biggest bits of advice are these:

    1) If things are going a bit wrong or not working, instead of you both concentrating on what the other person does wrong and what they need to change, flip it over and take some responsibility, and both think about yourselves, what you can do yourself and how YOU can make the relationship work.

    2) Remember why you fell in love in the first place, remember that that first excitement will not last forever but instead you have to choose to love them, you picked them for a reason, remember those reasons!
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    We have been together 13 years and married for 4. Definitely humour, letting things go that don't matter, never go to bed angry with each other, make time to do things together, but have your own interests, be kind, think of how the other person is feeling, don't be selfish, learn how to talk to each other the right way and at the right times if you have a problem and make sure you do rather than stewing over it, things will never be perfect - but thats ok!

    But my two biggest bits of advice are these:

    1) If things are going a bit wrong or not working, instead of you both concentrating on what the other person does wrong and what they need to change, flip it over and take some responsibility, and both think about yourselves, what you can do yourself and how YOU can make the relationship work.

    2) Remember why you fell in love in the first place, remember that that first excitement will not last forever but instead you have to choose to love them, you picked them for a reason, remember those reasons!


    You are the example why I believe in cloning. That is the best advice. love it.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    Me and my husband have been married for four years. Hooked up in a few months... Usually not the smartest thing to do but we are an anomaly!

    Basically... marry someone who you can trust 100% and have nonstop conversations with. Someone with the same goal plans who has responsibility/stability and who will NEVER treat you wrong. There should be respect, honesty and love.

    Patience for arguments and understanding for flaws. Its not easier then being single but I think it makes the experience of life so much more well rounded and enjoyable. Being married rocks!!!
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    This may sound silly but thinking about this question, how about this one and it is one so many people don't do and that is marry someone you actually like.

    Oh, I totally agree! I genuinely LIKE my husband. I also love him. There have been times the "like" has waned a bit over 23 years, but the love has always been there. That allowed the "like" to grow back to where it was before. We are truly best friends and prefer to spend time together over time with anyone else.
  • TeamDale
    TeamDale Posts: 383 Member
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    Communication and friendship. Celebrating 29 years Nov. 8. :smile:
  • Iloveeyore78
    Iloveeyore78 Posts: 75 Member
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    Never getting married.
    Marriage is the transfer of wealth from men to women.

    http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/young-men-giving-up-on-marriage-women-arent-women-anymore/

    Not really, it's been reported that 40% of women make more money than their husbands. I also am one of those women.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/30/business/economy/women-as-family-breadwinner-on-the-rise-study-says.html?_r=0

    Agreed. We will be married 10 years next June and I have always made significantly more money. Its not easy to make a marriage work but it is worth it. We have our ups and downs but the biggest thing is communication. The nice thing is we always seem to find one another again and it keeps it alive. :)
  • xmel123x
    xmel123x Posts: 63
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    We have been together 13 years and married for 4. Definitely humour, letting things go that don't matter, never go to bed angry with each other, make time to do things together, but have your own interests, be kind, think of how the other person is feeling, don't be selfish, learn how to talk to each other the right way and at the right times if you have a problem and make sure you do rather than stewing over it, things will never be perfect - but thats ok!

    But my two biggest bits of advice are these:

    1) If things are going a bit wrong or not working, instead of you both concentrating on what the other person does wrong and what they need to change, flip it over and take some responsibility, and both think about yourselves, what you can do yourself and how YOU can make the relationship work.

    2) Remember why you fell in love in the first place, remember that that first excitement will not last forever but instead you have to choose to love them, you picked them for a reason, remember those reasons!


    You are the example why I believe in cloning. That is the best advice. love it.

    Aw thanks :)
  • whatshouldieat
    whatshouldieat Posts: 101 Member
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    2 words: Yes Dear.... Otherwise in today's society people are so easy to just give up and walk away. It is sad how many divorces the U.S. see's everyday.
  • sarantonio
    sarantonio Posts: 880 Member
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    We aren't a "long" marriage yet.. 10 years. We laugh together, that's a big one! For me, personally, the most important thing is honor... I never disrespect him (in public) a mans ego is important!! But he also shows me respect, and is genuinely interested in what I have going on, and supports me...
  • BeingProactive
    BeingProactive Posts: 1
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    Dont join MFP...lol

    Id have to +1 this one. My wife joined MFP - lost a ton of weight and then after 15 years of marriage - threw it all away. Her MFP friends really gave her a lot of support to move on....without even knowing who I was.

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