Creepy guy at the Gym

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  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    This is the reason why I don't go to a gym any more. There is a nice facility at my apartment complex that no one uses. Well, no one except me and a couple of other ladies.

    One time a few years ago a man at a gym offered to "spot" me. He dropped a 25 pound dumbbell on my chest. In an attempt to catch the dumbbell I messed up my rotator cuff. He was looking at my boobs and not paying attention to actually spotting me. He wasn't young either, so he really had no excuse aside from being a perv trying to see some cleavage at the gym.
  • BigBoatBob
    BigBoatBob Posts: 11
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    This is ridiculous. If he didn't do anything wrong leave the man alone. If you can't take working out in the company of men, find a gym that is all female. Simple as that.
  • BigBoatBob
    BigBoatBob Posts: 11
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    Appreciating beauty doesn't make anyone a perv. Do you Appreciate beauty?
  • I_Will_Be_The_Swan
    I_Will_Be_The_Swan Posts: 132
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    In all honesty, the OP is probably fake, but I do have this to say:

    I have been confronted by creeps since I was four years old, and yes, in a sexual nature. I have always trusted my instincts and done my best to evade them. But sometimes it doesn't work.

    Last month, in broad daylight, surrounded by people, I was groped by a total stranger. He lumbered towards me, so I moved away, creep-o-meter blaring. He kept on, pushing his way towards me, and I had nowhere left to move to. He grabbed my chest, squeezed, and moved on.

    It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.

    He was a solid foot taller than me and quite muscular. He could have easily beaten me bloody or dragged me off somewhere secluded.

    I'm just thankful that he didn't.

    The message here is that your instincts are what matter. If someone scares you, intimidates you, molests you, you have every right to defend yourself and get them removed from the area. Your safety is your priority; **** the public opinion of you.
  • ssm_1972
    ssm_1972 Posts: 396 Member
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    Its quite natural having attraction for opposite sex with such a beauty (if your ID/Pic is not a fake). Till he is not harming you, why you are bothering........just overlook else inform the management about the matter !!
  • manisha_ja
    manisha_ja Posts: 4
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    and why u think I am fake??
  • karlahere
    karlahere Posts: 79 Member
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    Harassment after all is the effect, not the intent.
    Could you expand on this statement? Are you saying that the perception of harassment makes any social interaction harassment no matter what the intent is?
    Legally, yes. It doesn't matter what the perp's intents were--for all we know, he takes groping as friendly fun. If the victim feels intimidated/harassed, the latter has good grounds to complain.

    This is ridiculous. If he didn't do anything wrong leave the man alone. If you can't take working out in the company of men, find a gym that is all female. Simple as that.
    Nope, negative. She didn't say she can't work out with men. Ditch the strawman, man.

    Edited by grammar nazis.
  • stefjc
    stefjc Posts: 484 Member
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    Ladies - you have voices, use them

    Creepy guy in the gym, regardless of whether he is or isn't a creep, open up your mouth and tell him you don't want to know.

    Groper in a public place? Swallow your fear and embarrassment and shout 'get your hands off me" and point at him. Keep protesting and pointing, he will run away. The more people there are the more likely he is to flee, especially if you look like you want to grab him and start shouting for the police.

    It is often embarrassment rather than fear that stops women being able to keep control of their environment in low level situations. I learned that a long time ago when I moved hundreds of miles away form my family, on my own. I just grew a new public persona - one that is loud and confident. It only gets used if I feel I need it. It is not me, but no stranger need know that!

    It used to be called street nous and common sense. Now stranger danger has taken over and many women feel less empowered and more victimised without even knowing it or being able to decipher its affects on their lives.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    and why u think I am fake??

    http://goo.gl/Y44Ets
    http://hotteluguwawoek.blogspot.com/2011/09/archana-gupta-hot-spicy-stills.html
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    and why u think I am fake??

    http://goo.gl/Y44Ets
    http://hotteluguwawoek.blogspot.com/2011/09/archana-gupta-hot-spicy-stills.html

    Detective Taso on the scene!
  • wellsdavid20
    wellsdavid20 Posts: 783 Member
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    Creepy for women means nothing more than attention from a man they didn't have attractive.
  • Fleas2U
    Fleas2U Posts: 4
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    Yes, I have. Look him straight in the eye and calmly and firmly tell him that you come to the gym to work out and that he needs to quit shadowing you. Now, he may not get it. I had a creep that kept asking "what did I do? Admittedly men are confused about this but I think that once put on notice women have the right to be left alone and we shouldn't have to deal with emotional retardation, for lack of a better word. If he can't comprehend that you want left alone then it's fair to involve management. Also be very careful in the parking lot and mix up your routines. You should be anyway, not all creeps are that obvious.
  • rhinesb
    rhinesb Posts: 204 Member
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    You already have six pages of replies so mine is probably irrelevant, however, though I too would be uncomfortable he really hasn't crossed the line yet. I think he has a major crush on you. Hopefully he'll get over it and that he's not a freak. I have had similar happen to me when I was in high school and eventually the only thing that stopped him was me having a conversation with him about finding his behavior to be off putting and strange. oh and creepy as hell. Of course this guy was also taking pictures of me with high powered telephoto lens and such. I changed up my routine so that he wouldn't know when I would arrive anymore.
  • Fleas2U
    Fleas2U Posts: 4
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    Yes, I have. Look him straight in the eye and calmly and firmly tell him that you come to the gym to work out and that he needs to quit shadowing you. Now, he may not get it. I had a creep that kept asking "what did I do? Admittedly men are confused about this but I think that once put on notice women have the right to be left alone and we shouldn't have to deal with emotional retardation, for lack of a better word. If he can't comprehend that you want left alone then it's fair to involve management. Also be very careful in the parking lot and mix up your routines. You should be anyway, not all creeps are that obvious.
  • Fleas2U
    Fleas2U Posts: 4
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    Not so! Other creepy behaviors include being over complimentary to the point of smarminess, always complaining about one's spouse and then asking if you're married. Being hit on by someone who knows you're in a relationship is, to me, not complimentary. It's creepy and disrespects the institution of marriage.
  • CaliforniaBarbie
    CaliforniaBarbie Posts: 346 Member
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    follow your gut, if it tells you he is a creep then he might be. you can tell management, bring along a guy friend ect.

    this happened to me once, and the next day i promptly made my brother come and run on the treadmill next to me. at first the guy didnt see that we were together, until we left to do the same workouts and promptly left in the same car. from that day on he never said a word to me, and ran on the opposite side of the treadmill bank.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    Honestly doesn't sound like he's crossed the "creepy" threshold just yet. Next time he takes the treadmill next to you move. He might get the hint just from that.

    Yeah, this.

    You may want to consider that in fact he is just being friendly.

    Not every man expects he will have sex with every single woman he talks to during his day. I know, its hard to believe but true.

    Telling management would be a spineless, douche-bag move.

    Part of me sympathizes with you, and the male part of me is slightly annoyed that members of the opposite sex paying attention to you is a "problem" at the gym. Must be nice....

    Agree with both
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
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    New rule: No guy is ever allowed to interact with or look directly at any woman, ever, lest she think he's creeping and takes appropriate legal action, and or maces him.

    Seems an appropriate level response, doesn't it?
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Tell him u've always wanted to give someone a "private" piercing. He'll never look ur way again.

    He may like that. LOL.

    If he tries to interact w you again by talking to you or working out near you, I'd either just try to seem preoccupied, either w my workout, my music, my cell phone. I wouldn't be outright rude. You don't want to make him angry if he really is a creeper, and you certainly don't want to hurt his feelings if it's just a harmless case of him trying to be friendly. Keep in mind that he more than likely will continue to work out at the same gym, so you don't want to make matters worse. If pretending to be busy doesn't work, you can always try to make him dislike you. Ask him how much money he makes, if you can borrow money. That would probably turn off even a creeper.

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