Somebody help me wrap my head around this.

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Replies

  • Addictead
    Addictead Posts: 66 Member
    The opposite happened to me, My TDEE is in the range of 250-400 higher than expected from all the calculations, All I figure is that I pace around/fidget more than a normal person my height/weight/age is calculated for. Maybe the opposite is true for your husband, Even with the extra exercise maybe the daily movement he does is less than expected?
  • sljohnson1207
    sljohnson1207 Posts: 818 Member
    Check into that antihistamine (some have been known to cause a bit of problems with weight), then get his free thyroid hormones, free testosterone, and cortisol levels checked to rule anything like that out. Consider age and genetics as small factors to why his calorie needs are low for his weight. With as much time as you are together, I doubt he's fooling you esp. since he seems so determined. He may just be scale number driven in his mind, and it's harder for him to see the changes to his body that you see and that the tape measure proves. Sometimes it takes a long while for us to forget what we looked like before we made the changes. There's a delay in our brains. I don't think you said what his bf% is, but it is entirely possibly he's close to his goal, and is just really frustrated with how slow it is.
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Is your husband as concerned about all this as you are? Why isn’t he starting his own thread to get input and advice?

    He uses MFP but has never been active in the forums.
  • J72FIT
    J72FIT Posts: 6,009 Member
    Phirrgus wrote: »
    Thank you for your perspective. We talked quite a bit today, I suggested he keep eating what he's eating and if it takes him a year to lose 5-10lbs, well so be it - as long as he's still making progress. I know, it's a lifestyle, it's not a temporary thing.

    He said he'd be so happy to have this kind of progress and recomp - if he'd lost a few more pounds first. If he had made it to a healthy weight for his height, he'd be happy to stop losing and recomp. It's just so close.

    As far as his lifting, he is also frustrated with his progress there too and he's put it up to eating at a deficit. He's lifted weights off and on all his life, he isn't new to training per se - but he's taken some time off or lighter here and there. He's getting serious about it and feels he should be able to progress more in his lifts for his age, size, etc. He also feels the extra weight holds him back too, he still can't get one chin up or pull up, and I'm sure if he lost weight it would be easier.

    I think we do need to celebrate his victories. He's down to a 34 in pants, he started with 38's being tight. He's wearing a medium belt (barely) that he has had since Christmas and been unable to wear. He bought a pack of large undershirts only to get home and realize he really needs mediums.
    With all due respect...I've read every reply in this thread and firmly believe what your husband needs more than anything else is perspective.

    There are 2 million threads in this forum telling people to take it slow, let the process work, learn that new lifestyle of eating properly and getting fit, and it sounds to me as if that's exactly what he is doing.

    4" off his waist....Four inches, that's awesome! Not being able to do pull up? Maybe he just isn't there yet. It took a good friend of mine over a year dropping from ~255 to ~180 before he could do any. Have him just do aussie pullups for a while to build the proper muscle groups.

    Sounds to me as if he's doing just fine and is just a little frustrated. Start hanging pics of him at his heaviest around the house. He will see it before long.

    This is also a strong possibility. We all don't progress at the same rate, but progress is progress...
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Is your husband as concerned about all this as you are? Why isn’t he starting his own thread to get input and advice?

    He uses MFP but has never been active in the forums.

    But is he even concerned about his progress or is this just something that is bugging you for whatever reason? Are you reading him all these responses?

    Yes, he is concerned. He brought it up (constantly) which is why I was asking.

    I have always just assured him it will work with time, but I was starting to feel like a broken record just saying "don't worry, give it more time" over and over.

    I have summarized the information, I don't read him the verbatim responses.
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    ssurvivor wrote: »
    CICO works to a certain point. 5'10" 195 is pretty low for an adult man. It could be that he is already at an optimal weight for his constitution. The fact that he has lost inches speaks volumes.
    Not sure this is 100% correct. I ran it through the UK (NHS) BMI calculator and the upper weight for a guy with those measurements is roughly 170lbs.

    FWIW - I'm half an inch shorter but weigh 168lbs, have a fair bit of muscle but STILL have a bit of belly fat.

    My maintenance is approx 1950-2000 a day (I weigh and log everything and have for over 2 years). I'm doing an infinitely slow recomp myself which means I've set my cals to 1700 (and now more recently 1600) per day but I eat 100% of what must be vastly over estimated exercise calories. I've lost 5lbs since beginning of May. (I'll be going back up to 1700 once my holidays are over).

    If I'm honest, it sounds like he's doing an almost perfect (but slow) recomp. Maybe give it another month - if he's still recording the same changes then just be more patient. He could end up with body/fitness levels better than he'd hoped for.

    Good luck.


    OK. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned the weight part. My BF is 5'11" (179cm) 198 and wears a S/M. I never knew the weight/size stats for any of my other BFs, so I used him as my measuring stick. Now that I think about it, his BFP is usually around 2% so maybe that's why he looks so small.

    With that said, I stand by the statement that he may have reached the optimal weight for his constitution. I think once you reach a certain weight range, BFP is more important than BMI.

    He has not. I am glad you recognize your perspective might be skewed.
  • Luke_rabbit
    Luke_rabbit Posts: 1,031 Member
    Has he addressed this issue with his doctor, an endocrinologist, nutritionist, or GI specialist? Slow metabolisms can be due to thyroid issues, medication side effects, imbalances in gut bacteria, and several other problems.

    It may be worth investigating.
  • Maxxitt
    Maxxitt Posts: 1,281 Member
    I don't have anything to add to the thoughtful posts about perspective and reasonable possibilities to explain the disparate results between your journey and your husband's. All I am chiming in to say is I also have one of those "inquiring minds wanting to know" and have learned that not all questions that start with "how come ..." can be answered satisfactorily. But I appreciate your wanting to know :)
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    For his calorie counts is he hitting his calorie goal every day? What does his weekly average look like? Is it possible that a couple of "over" days are impacting his overall CI part of the equation? Also, like you had mentioned maybe it's time to start verifying packaged foods. Maybe a day or two being over goal, and then a small overage caused by unverified package foods could be a culprit. Effectivly making his weight loss .25 a week and not .5.

    The other thing is since you mention it's been around 7 weeks of this program, I feel like there are other factors masking the weight loss. A small part is probably newby muscle gains. As you say he is making visible progress. Inches lost, looking better, etc. Another small part is probably water retention from the muscle recovery.

    I would say that he should dial in on his package foods. That's a good place to tighten up. Otherwise, give it another month and re-evaluate. If he stays at .25 loss a week, but continues to lose inches, it would be safe to say he is gaining muscle, and to continue the current program. If his physical progress stalls out, and/or weight loss stalls out, maybe it's time to tweak his calorie goal a bit. Say shave off 150-250 calories, or add in an evening walk or something like that.


    ETA: It seems to me that it's not any one thing that is causing his weight loss to be slower. With 10-20 lbs to lose and at a goal of .5 lbs a week, there are so many variables that could easily add up to slow down weight loss. A slight overage here & there, mild fatigue impacting NEAT one day, water retention from workout the next, etc etc. It can all add up.

    Thanks. His goal is 2100, if he's burning over 3K a day (if the fitbit is right, or even if it's 10% off and it's 2700) he is at enough of a deficit it doesn't matter. I mentioned it to him and he explained it this way:

    Tortillas are sold by full package weight, not by individual weight. If I eat the whole package over a week, I got the number I logged. Variances by the day don't matter, because the whole package is weighed at packing. He eats almost all the Tortillas, he prefers them to bread for sandwiches for lunches.

    FWIW, I measured the tortilla I ate last night, it was 42g and should have been 49g, so it could just as easily work the other way.

    I think it is just slow going, and a lot of water retention.
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