Somebody help me wrap my head around this.
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ExistingFish
Posts: 1,259 Member
I'm logical. I understand CI/CO. I'm fully on board.
But my husband defies logic, to me. He tracks his food, I watch him. He doesn't skip things, he uses a scale, he does it right. I've helped him calculate his calories.
He is 5'10", 195lbs. He is aiming to lose 15-20 more pounds. His weight has plateaued around 196-197 for months.
He's eating 2100 calories, he has gone as low as 1800 calories but that wasn't sustainable. We work out at a fairly high intensity 3x a week, doing heavy weight lifting and HIIT (at least 2 of 3 workouts). We have been working out for over 6 months, but we did increase the intensity in July.
What I don't get? I'm in maintenance. I struggle to NOT lose weight in maintenance. What do I eat? 2100 calories. I am 5'0", 112lb female. I'm supposed to be in recomp.
Funny thing though, he's doing a great job recomping. He's lost 2.5" off his waist, 1.5" off his neck, and 2" off his hips - in 6 weeks. 1.5lbs off the scale in those 6 weeks.
I am glad he's recomping, but what gives? We got fitbits last week, I know we haven't had them long. Mine tells me I averaged 2085 calories in the past 4 days, which makes my 2100 make perfect sense. His says he averaged 3400 calories. He did have a couple of super busy days, but even his slow at home day it says he burned 2900 calories. If he is averaging so far above 2100 calories, why is he only seeing body composition changes not scale changes? I'd get it if it were 2-3 weeks, but we have almost 7 weeks and it's getting frustrating?
Kind of a rant. Maybe someone could offer some suggestions? We're really happy with the changes to his body, it's visible. But he'd really like to see the scale move. I don't think we can (or should) cut calories further if he's burning so much, but what else can we do? Am I unreasonable to expect 2-4lbs a month loss at a deficit over 750 calories?
Just kind of ranting, looking for suggestions. He's going to keep eating 2100 and exercising.
But my husband defies logic, to me. He tracks his food, I watch him. He doesn't skip things, he uses a scale, he does it right. I've helped him calculate his calories.
He is 5'10", 195lbs. He is aiming to lose 15-20 more pounds. His weight has plateaued around 196-197 for months.
He's eating 2100 calories, he has gone as low as 1800 calories but that wasn't sustainable. We work out at a fairly high intensity 3x a week, doing heavy weight lifting and HIIT (at least 2 of 3 workouts). We have been working out for over 6 months, but we did increase the intensity in July.
What I don't get? I'm in maintenance. I struggle to NOT lose weight in maintenance. What do I eat? 2100 calories. I am 5'0", 112lb female. I'm supposed to be in recomp.
Funny thing though, he's doing a great job recomping. He's lost 2.5" off his waist, 1.5" off his neck, and 2" off his hips - in 6 weeks. 1.5lbs off the scale in those 6 weeks.
I am glad he's recomping, but what gives? We got fitbits last week, I know we haven't had them long. Mine tells me I averaged 2085 calories in the past 4 days, which makes my 2100 make perfect sense. His says he averaged 3400 calories. He did have a couple of super busy days, but even his slow at home day it says he burned 2900 calories. If he is averaging so far above 2100 calories, why is he only seeing body composition changes not scale changes? I'd get it if it were 2-3 weeks, but we have almost 7 weeks and it's getting frustrating?
Kind of a rant. Maybe someone could offer some suggestions? We're really happy with the changes to his body, it's visible. But he'd really like to see the scale move. I don't think we can (or should) cut calories further if he's burning so much, but what else can we do? Am I unreasonable to expect 2-4lbs a month loss at a deficit over 750 calories?
Just kind of ranting, looking for suggestions. He's going to keep eating 2100 and exercising.
4
Replies
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It's obviously an activity level thing. His lifestyle/worklife is much more active than yours it appears, and as such his calorie burns are higher. His CO is higher than his CI... simple as that.
And yes, 2-4 lbs a month of loss is unreasonable, unsustainable, and un-healthy in the long run. If you have little to lose as your picture seems to indicate, your more likely to achieve a .25 lb loss/wk optimally... this would average to about a lb a month. Anything more is likely to be too much of a deficit to get the proper nutrition that you'll need at that activity level.42 -
BecomingBane wrote: »It's obviously an activity level thing. His lifestyle/worklife is much more active than yours it appears, and as such his calorie burns are higher. His CO is higher than his CI... simple as that.
And yes, 2-4 lbs a month of loss is unreasonable, unsustainable, and un-healthy in the long run. If you have little to lose as your picture seems to indicate, your more likely to achieve a .25 lb loss/wk optimally... this would average to about a lb a month. Anything more is likely to be too much of a deficit to get the proper nutrition that you'll need at that activity level.
She's asking why her *husband* isn't losing. Not why she is.28 -
There's a lot more that goes into energy balance than simply counting calories eaten and tracking calories burned.
FWIW, 2100 is right about maintenance for me.7 -
BecomingBane wrote: »It's obviously an activity level thing. His lifestyle/worklife is much more active than yours it appears, and as such his calorie burns are higher. His CO is higher than his CI... simple as that.
And yes, 2-4 lbs a month of loss is unreasonable, unsustainable, and un-healthy in the long run. If you have little to lose as your picture seems to indicate, your more likely to achieve a .25 lb loss/wk optimally... this would average to about a lb a month. Anything more is likely to be too much of a deficit to get the proper nutrition that you'll need at that activity level.
If his calorie burn is higher, why is he maintaining his weight on the same calorie level that I am maintaining?
I am not trying to lose weight. I am at a healthy weight and body fat level. My husband is trying to lose weight, he is overweight and is not at a healthy body fat level. I don't think 2lbs of loss per month is unreasonable for a 195lb man in a deficit, that is 0.5lb/week.4 -
How long has he been dieting? Could be time for a break. Hormones get all whacked with prolonged dieting.
Beyond that, I find positive physical changes to be for more important than some arbitrary number on the scale.16 -
2-4 pounds a month is unlikely for the very fit.
As for recomp, that's easy, he's a dude and you aren't. They put on muscle faster and easier than women*. If he likes how his body looks, why does the number on the scale matter? There's no prize for being lighter, and if you're fit then you aren't necessarily gonna be healthier.
*As a generalization over total populations, based on hormones and stuff. Obviously individual genetics plays into this as well.21 -
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ExistingFish wrote: »
Why not?
Another thing to consider... is he (are you) using a trend weight app? Might be easier to see what scale weight is doing if you look at trends/averages over longer periods of time.3 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »How long has he been dieting? Could be time for a break. Hormones get all whacked with prolonged dieting.
Beyond that, I find positive physical changes to be for more important than some arbitrary number on the scale.
He really just started again at the first of June after several months of not. He didn't gain or lose during those months, just working out. I guess natural maintenance.
I do too, I am quite frankly shocked. If I didn't measure him myself I wouldn't believe it, but I measured him both times. I can see it though, in the fit of his clothes.
He's just frustrated about his weight, and it affects his mood.2 -
2-4 pounds a month is unlikely for the very fit.
As for recomp, that's easy, he's a dude and you aren't. They put on muscle faster and easier than women*. If he likes how his body looks, why does the number on the scale matter? There's no prize for being lighter, and if you're fit then you aren't necessarily gonna be healthier.
*As a generalization over total populations, based on hormones and stuff. Obviously individual genetics plays into this as well.
He isn't very fit. He's more active than average, but he is overweight (BMI standards) and has quite a bit of body fat around the middle. We've never tested body fat, but by the visual estimate pictures he has an overweight level of body fat.3 -
ExistingFish wrote: »
Why not?
Another thing to consider... is he (are you) using a trend weight app? Might be easier to see what scale weight is doing if you look at trends/averages over longer periods of time.
Because I'm almost literally half his size (by weight), and I'm not trying to lose weight, how could an almost 200lb man with nearly a foot of height require the same maintenance calories as me?
We both use trendweight apps, I use Libra (which I love) he has an Apple one, which I don't care for as much. He's in the green, and stays there, so he's going down, but it is such a slow crawl.
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I know you said you're using a scale- are you sure he's measuring accurately? And weighing everything?6
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sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is30
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ExistingFish wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »
Why not?
Another thing to consider... is he (are you) using a trend weight app? Might be easier to see what scale weight is doing if you look at trends/averages over longer periods of time.
Because I'm almost literally half his size (by weight), and I'm not trying to lose weight, how could an almost 200lb man with nearly a foot of height require the same maintenance calories as me?
We both use trendweight apps, I use Libra (which I love) he has an Apple one, which I don't care for as much. He's in the green, and stays there, so he's going down, but it is such a slow crawl.
Ah, there it is... comparison. No wonder you're frustrated/annoyed/confused/whatever.28 -
sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.9 -
Does he do a progressive lifting program? If he does, it's possible that he's got some newbie gains going on, especially since, as you say, he's already overweight.
I'm also a firm believer in CICO, but my experience over the past year -- turned out I had a broken body scale, and I'm 15 pounds heavier than I thought I was, but am simultaneously at my lowest measurements ever, and have been eating in a known deficit this whole time, *with* all food being weighed and tracked, just to get that part of intake shaming/judgment out there -- is that recomp and muscle gain/fat loss isn't as simple as "eat the same" or "eat a deficit". I don't think it's necessarily as black and white as people like to make it sound. And that's backed up by an RD I work with who specifically works with athletes/in sports medicine nutrition.
I built out a Google spreadsheet that outlines pretty clearly what I've been seeing, with tracked decreases in body fat percentage. PM me if you want it, OP -- it might be helpful to see what another zebra looks like.13 -
TheNewKristin wrote: »I know you said you're using a scale- are you sure he's measuring accurately? And weighing everything?
As far as I can tell, we have had the same scale since we moved in together (before we were married) and we've been married 9 years, it's an XOXO that is still widely recommended on these boards. He's been using it correctly for a long time, it's the same one I use.2 -
I would counter all of this with the thought that it sounds like your husband might be pretty damn fit. If the other indicators of health (blood pressure, resting heart rate, cholesterol, etc.) are good and he's capable of the activity load that you're indicating...
...maybe weight's just a number and isn't the end all be all.8 -
ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
what about when he is at work etc. he may snack all the time and not log it14 -
ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
Are you together 24/7? do neither of you work outside the home? People see me and think I eat nothing, even my wife. But there's no limit to how much food I can and do sneak at times.15 -
ExistingFish wrote: »TheNewKristin wrote: »I know you said you're using a scale- are you sure he's measuring accurately? And weighing everything?
As far as I can tell, we have had the same scale since we moved in together (before we were married) and we've been married 9 years, it's an XOXO that is still widely recommended on these boards. He's been using it correctly for a long time, it's the same one I use.
is this a kitchen scale you are referring to?2 -
ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
what about when he is at work etc. he may snack all the time and not log it
He is a full time SAHD, I work full time, from home. My main "office" is in the main living space, full view of the kitchen and his desk.ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
Are you together 24/7? do neither of you work outside the home? People see me and think I eat nothing, even my wife. But there's no limit to how much food I can and do sneak at times.
No, neither of us work outside the home. We grocery shop together, we stock the kitchen together, we prepare most meals together, we even work out together.3 -
ExistingFish wrote: »TheNewKristin wrote: »I know you said you're using a scale- are you sure he's measuring accurately? And weighing everything?
As far as I can tell, we have had the same scale since we moved in together (before we were married) and we've been married 9 years, it's an XOXO that is still widely recommended on these boards. He's been using it correctly for a long time, it's the same one I use.
is this a kitchen scale you are referring to?
Yes, this one:
https://www.amazon.com/OXO-Grips-Scale-Pull-Out-Display/dp/B0020L6T7K1 -
ExistingFish wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
what about when he is at work etc. he may snack all the time and not log it
He is a full time SAHD, I work full time, from home. My main "office" is in the main living space, full view of the kitchen and his desk.ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
Are you together 24/7? do neither of you work outside the home? People see me and think I eat nothing, even my wife. But there's no limit to how much food I can and do sneak at times.
No, neither of us work outside the home. We grocery shop together, we stock the kitchen together, we prepare most meals together, we even work out together.
He should have his thyroid checked then.11 -
ExistingFish wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
what about when he is at work etc. he may snack all the time and not log it
He is a full time SAHD, I work full time, from home. My main "office" is in the main living space, full view of the kitchen and his desk.ExistingFish wrote: »sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is
I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.
Are you together 24/7? do neither of you work outside the home? People see me and think I eat nothing, even my wife. But there's no limit to how much food I can and do sneak at times.
No, neither of us work outside the home. We grocery shop together, we stock the kitchen together, we prepare most meals together, we even work out together.
He should have his thyroid checked then.
I suggested that this morning actually. I appreciate the suggestion, this is what I'm looking for. Other things we can look into (while he continues to log his food and keep doing what he is doing).
He said he had a full blood panel last time he was at the doctor, which was a loooong time ago. I can't convince him to go to the doctor, the dentist, or the eye doctor (he's almost out of contacts...) but I'll see if I can get him to go be tested.
I know our doctor (we have the same one) tests thyroid stuff, he tested it because I have anxiety, just to rule out a physical issue causing my anxiety.2 -
What are his ratios carb/fat/protein? I know my mom has always had issues losing weight and the only thing that seems to work for her is when she goes heavy on lean protein and lighter on fat/carbs than most people. She lost 60lbs and has managed to keep it off for 5 years doing this - same calories as everyone else but different ratio...12
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What are his ratios carb/fat/protein? I know my mom has always had issues losing weight and the only thing that seems to work for her is when she goes heavy on lean protein and lighter on fat/carbs than most people. She lost 60lbs and has managed to keep it off for 5 years doing this - same calories as everyone else but different ratio...
40-30-30 C-F-P1 -
my guess - FITBIT is overestimating his calories - it is mostly best equation to predict based on weight - i've been wearing one for 2 years now and honestly, found that it underestimates my calories on the scale of 4-500 a day5
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Taking a step back...
Aside from the numbers not lining up the way you'd expect, are there any issues here? Any reason to suspect/worry about a greater health concern?
2100 cals for maintenance or slightly below with the changes in his body that he's seeing... I'd call that a win.5 -
Taking a step back...
Aside from the numbers not lining up the way you'd expect, are there any issues here? Any reason to suspect/worry about a greater health concern?
2100 cals for maintenance or slightly below with the changes in his body that he's seeing... I'd call that a win.
No, just that he is overweight. He's lost a lot (a year ago) and some more before that. He was 270 at his highest, he lost that about 3 years ago, down to 210, then he gained back to about 230 and then last year he lost down to below 200, he's just really wanting to go all the way to his goal this time. I think partly because Iost all of my weight, I'm ready to move on to different fitness goals, he feels like he's been left behind.
I find it frustrating, I keep telling him to count calories and trust that it will work and that it's science and it will work, and for the first 4 weeks that was fine, but we keep going forward and I don't have anything else to tell him.
Part of it may be that he is close to his goal weight. The last 10%, even if it's 20lbs, it still the last 10%. The last few pounds for me came off much slower, but that was intentional.2
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