Fat-positive Feminism and Weight Loss

lndsylck

Hello all,

I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

Thanks for your thoughts!

mommy3457

Just do it for you then. You can love yourself by getting more healthy!

Pearsquared

The most successful people in weight loss are those that lose weight for themselves, not for society or any others. It is most certainly possible to lose weight and not do it because that's what society considers acceptable. Perhaps you're afraid that the weight loss will change you, but if you've got the right frame of mind (and I think you do), it won't change you at all, just make you feel healthier.

Acg67

Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?

YoBecca

I consider myself feminist and body positive. I don't believe that anyone should have their value as a person judged based on their weight, appearance, or ability. I have people I love in my life of all different sizes, and I accept and love them where they're at. However, I don't think it is incompatible to love/accept/don't judge someone where they are at, and also endorse a healthier lifestyle.

I think it's important to love yourself and your body - but loving it invokes taking care of it. I don't want to body-shame anyone, including myself, but no one does themselves any favors by remaining unhealthy, making choices that will, in the long run, affect mobility and even life span. It's hard for men to "get" how much emotional and societal baggage women have about weight and their bodies,and I appreciate a lot of the affirming parts of the "fat positive" movement - but I also think it enables women to not have to heal the relationships they have with food or their bodies. If you're "perfectly fine" the way you are then you never have to change anything or understand why you overeat or overcome your fears of working out, and you never get to be amazed by watching yourself rise to a physical challenge and meet it. It seems like a bandaid to cover/redefine the situation, not a solution. And I think it may do as much harm as it does good.

So, for me, I am body positive. I don't talk *kitten* about my body or anyone else's, I try not to judge myself, I challenge body shaming, and I take myself and others where they're at. But I also owe it to myself and my kids to make the most out of this one life I have, and this one body I have. And that means confronting my own issues with food, getting myself to a healthy weight, and getting myself active and strong.

YoBecca

One more thing: I spent a lot of years feeling pressure to conform to social norms, trying to lose weight for all those reasons. Once I got to a place of embracing myself for who I am, and my focus became on being the best me I can be, my attitude changed, my commitment changed, and I started seeing results. I feel stronger and more capable now than at any other time of my life - and that is a gift every woman should give herself.

IamUndrCnstruction

One more thing: I spent a lot of years feeling pressure to conform to social norms, trying to lose weight for all those reasons. Once I got to a place of embracing myself for who I am, and my focus became on being the best me I can be, my attitude changed, my commitment changed, and I started seeing results. I feel stronger and more capable now than at any other time of my life - and that is a gift every woman should give herself.

:drinker: to that post and the one above!! Well said!

FerretBuellerr

Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?

I don't know for sure (I have never heard of the term "fat positive" before, thus I don't know how OP or anyone else would define it) but I'm going to say yes.

That being said, I don't think it's hypocritical of yourself to want to become healthier and be fat positive. I know myself, I'm a little divided on the idea of fat positive: I do think everyone should and needs to be happy with their body type, even if your lifestyle is unhealthy, because having a positive image and confidence in yourself is just as important as having a healthy lifestyle. But exuding that same positivity to a 300 lb overweight person is...well, a bit foolish IMHO because being that much overweight is detrimental to their health, and it would be more positive to encourage a healthy lifestyle to such an individual, even if they still remain overweight.

In the end, if you lose weight, you can and will still be a feminist who is fat positive, and no one else can stop that opinion other than yourself.

lcvaughn520

I consider myself feminist and body positive. I don't believe that anyone should have their value as a person judged based on their weight, appearance, or ability. I have people I love in my life of all different sizes, and I accept and love them where they're at. However, I don't think it is incompatible to love/accept/don't judge someone where they are at, and also endorse a healthier lifestyle.

I think it's important to love yourself and your body - but loving it invokes taking care of it. I don't want to body-shame anyone, including myself, but no one does themselves any favors by remaining unhealthy, making choices that will, in the long run, affect mobility and even life span. It's hard for men to "get" how much emotional and societal baggage women have about weight and their bodies,and I appreciate a lot of the affirming parts of the "fat positive" movement - but I also think it enables women to not have to heal the relationships they have with food or their bodies. If you're "perfectly fine" the way you are then you never have to change anything or understand why you overeat or overcome your fears of working out, and you never get to be amazed by watching yourself rise to a physical challenge and meet it. It seems like a bandaid to cover/redefine the situation, not a solution. And I think it may do as much harm as it does good.

So, for me, I am body positive. I don't talk *kitten* about my body or anyone else's, I try not to judge myself, I challenge body shaming, and I take myself and others where they're at. But I also owe it to myself and my kids to make the most out of this one life I have, and this one body I have. And that means confronting my own issues with food, getting myself to a healthy weight, and getting myself active and strong.

Well said! I couldn't have articulated this as well, but I wholly agree.

lndsylck

Big thanks to everyone, all of these posts are extremely helpful

To me, being fat positive is about knowing what it means to be fat (or big, or overweight, or curvy, or whatever other adjective does it for you), including the negative health effects, and choosing to be that way anyway. I've recently been conceptualizing choosing to be fat as a way to "fight the power" so to speak, to challenge societal standards of beauty and femininity. However, I really do want to be healthy, and to feel physically comfortable in my own skin.

I think instead of struggling with whether or not to lose weight I'll choose health and comfort over obsession with body weight and dress size.

Thanks again everyone!

WendyTerry420

Well, I'm a feminist, and I'm positive that I'm fat. Does that count?

TiffieLand

I always admire people who really confident about who they are no matter what their shape. But it is not worth it and right to disregard one health because of it. It is good to be at a healthy weight and confident at the same time. It is for you and for your family because you want to be with them for as long as you can and be healthy at that. It is actually sad for me to see people feel that it is okay to be at unhealthy weight because they don't care what others think. It is okay to not care and be confident but to not care about one health is just terrible. There are many people who want to live but can't and you are just risking your health and body like that.

Calliope610

Big thanks to everyone, all of these posts are extremely helpful

To me, being fat positive is about knowing what it means to be fat (or big, or overweight, or curvy, or whatever other adjective does it for you), including the negative health effects, and choosing to be that way anyway. I've recently been conceptualizing choosing to be fat as a way to "fight the power" so to speak, to challenge societal standards of beauty and femininity. However, I really do want to be healthy, and to feel physically comfortable in my own skin.

I think instead of struggling with whether or not to lose weight I'll choose health and comfort over obsession with body weight and dress size.

Thanks again everyone!

That sounds like cutting off one's nose to spite one's face. :huh:

But I think I know what you mean. I was very comfortable with my body at 232lbs. I didn't necessarily always like the way I looked naked, or dressed sometimes for that matter. But I did love who I was inside that large body. I know now that I can be a better version of the already awesome me by focusing of health and fitness, rather than what I look like.

mclgo

Another card-carrying feminist here.
I would never body-shame any woman, and I feel very sad when I hear women do that to themselves. If women took all the energy we focus on our "looks" and rechanneled it, we could RULE THE WORLD!

That being said, we women also need to be healthy and powerful. I do myself and my causes no favors if I'm tired, sick, and weak. So I've decided to lose weight and get healthy so I can be around for my kids, any future grandchildren, and to be a life-long cramp in the side of misogyny!

BuffyEat2Live

I consider myself to be both practicing HAES and actively losing weight. I think that the two aren't always exclusive.

The difference for me this time around is that I honestly love my body right now, at a very heavy weight. I don't want to lose weight because I don't love my body, rather I want to get healthy because I love myself, my life, and my body.

I think that some people are truly healthy when they are obese, just as I believe that some people are truly unhealthy when they are at a "normal" weight.

Edited to actually answer your first question: I am a feminist!

Mbishop7684

choosing to be fat as a way to "fight the power" so to speak, to challenge societal standards of beauty and femininity....choose health and comfort over obsession with body weight and dress size.

I am 233lbs and I love my body and am not ashamed of it, never have been. That does not mean that I am ignoring what being obese is doing to my body and my relationships. There is a cost to every decision. To be in shape and healthy (notice I did NOT say skinny or thin) you have to WORK at it. To be unhealthy and out of shape comes at a different cost (like those stated above). To choose to "fight the power" is really only hurting yourself. This isn't about societal norms and standards; this is about being a healthy person inside and out. If you care enough to tell everyone its your body and you'll love it exactly as it is fat and all, then you shouldn't care when and if you decide to make the decision to become healthier.

LAnne16

I'm body positive for the most part.... Well, I tried to be. When i was feeling good, I convinced myself that I could live being chunky. But then the days where had thrown out my back or was in constant pain... That's why I'm changing. I don't mind being chubby, but i do mind being in pain
So yea, I'm body positive and still looking to lose weight.

JessG11

There are many ways to "fight the power". You want to go against societal norms? Volunteer, or find some community service projects to work on, or take some of the confidence and volunteer with a women's shelter. I don't mean this at all in a snarky way...so please forgive if I come off that way. What I mean is that there are ways to protest the norm that actually benefit the world around you and not harm your health. I have a hard time finding the difference between "body shaming" and letting the world define how I should see my body.

I am fat. I don't sugar coat it. I call myself fat. I don't like being fat. I don't like that my knees hurt. I don't like that I am not at a healthy weight to start a family. I don't like that I can't move as fast as I used to when I was younger. I don't like the way I look in pictures. And I don't like the fact that some people see it as I'm looking down on myself and have less confidence because I have these thoughts. I am a strong women. I work hard and I contribute. I have been blessed with people who love me just the way I am. But I am fat. And I just don't think it's okay for me to accept that. And I don't think I'm shaming myself by saying hey, I can fix this, I can change this, it's not okay, it's not healthy. Because true confidence, true power, comes from my saying "I'm doing this. I'm doing this for me. I want to be healthy. I want to be strong and I AM going to fight this battle and win." That's power. It's not about how society sees me or defines fat. It's people that have made fat such a shaming thing. I too want to go against the norm. So for me, to tell myself I need to get my fat a#% up and put on my walking shoes and refuse the reese's cup...isn't shaming myself...to me it's being strong and saying "no, I'm not going to fall into a trap of being happy or accepting myself when I'm not at my best."....because physically, at around 90 lbs overweight, I'm not at my best

toutmonpossible

I'm a feminist and to me feminism accords basic dignity to all living beings. But feminism does not advocate delusional thinking that an objectively unhealthy weight is "positive." The fact that women are unfairly scrutinized based on their physical appearance and subject to the male gaze is a separate issue.

toutmonpossible

Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?

I don't know, but that was my assumption. Obesity is a disease. "Fat positive" is an oxymoron. Would you say you're "cancer positive"? "MS positive"?

At some point in America an idea took hold that everyone has to feel good about about herself or himself all the time, to the point where one is not only supposed to tolerate obesity, but argue it's a good thing. It's not.

RadioactivePirate

For me it has been tough to separate out losing weight "for me" from losing weight because of my own internalized prejudices against fat and society-based ideas of what women are "supposed" to look like to be attractive. It certainly chafes me at times when I feel that I am far more socially acceptable now as an average sized woman than I was as a large (260lb) woman.

But, as others have said, body positivity is about coming at this from a standpoint of loving your body for what it is and what it can do and taking care of yourself. For me that can include running and eating healthy. It does mean I passionately argue against fad and crash diets and exercise as punishment for being fat. It sucks that getting healthy happens to align with what this patriarchal society feels that women are supposed to do, but that is not a good enough reason to avoid it. In a sense, that would be STILL letting society control what I am.

I feel good. I'm strong. I'm powerful. I can do amazing things like run 8 miles without stopping. I've met dozens of amazing strong women over the last two years, and it's really been wonderful and empowering. I still don't feel the need to conform to patriarchal beauty standards, but occasionally they align with my own standards for what I want for myself and that's okay. And yeah my standards aren't created in a vacuum and are probably influenced by society, but there's only so much you can do. Focusing on exercise and strength rather than just weight and inches has helped a lot in not making me feel crazy.

JessG11

Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?

I don't know, but that was my assumption. Obesity is a disease. "Fat positive" is an oxymoron. Would you say you're "cancer positive"? "MS positive"?

At some point in America an idea took hold that everyone has to feel good about about herself or himself all the time, to the point where one is not only supposed to tolerate obesity, but argue it's a good thing. It's not.

I have agree. And ask at what point did a woman saying she's fat and doesn't like her body actually shaming?

gramarye

I actually had a lot trouble reconciling this for myself. It's hard to say, "There's no shame in a body, however it is," and then think, "Except, you know, I'm grotesque." (I have a very unhealthy inner-monologue about my own body; it's something that I'm working on.)

What it came down to, for me, is that I needed to take control of my eating and exercising for mental health reasons. I only feel manageable when I feel in control, and food is something I've always struggled to control. And while I've never been in poor health, as I lose weight I realize that I could be stronger and in better health -- which is something I want for myself.

So, its an active decision I continue to make for my own health, without creating blanket statements about the health or well-being of others.

sugarstrawberries

I'm a feminist and I'm fat positive. I am one who doesn't believe anyone's weight, no matter how "healthy" or "unhealthy" they seem to be. I don't care if you weigh 800 or 80 lbs, I won't comment on how you are living your life because it's your life to do with what you will. However, there are circumstances that prevent people from eating foods that are better for them that others, and I think that contributes to bull**** "healthy" assessments (ex. everyone whining on here about how being "overweight" is unhealthy).

technobunny

Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?

I don't know, but that was my assumption. Obesity is a disease. "Fat positive" is an oxymoron. Would you say you're "cancer positive"? "MS positive"?

At some point in America an idea took hold that everyone has to feel good about about herself or himself all the time, to the point where one is not only supposed to tolerate obesity, but argue it's a good thing. It's not.

My thoughts exactly! You're trying to fight the power or give it to the man, but kill yourself in the process? The point of losing weight is to be healthy, and the point of living a healthy lifestyle is so that you can live a little longer. Look up the #1 cause for deaths in the US. That's right, heart disease. And why do people get heart disease? Because they are fat/eat nothing but crap.

If you want to give to the man by not being a size 0, that's great. Some women are in a healthy BMI range and according to society are still fat (aka don't look like victoria secret models). If that is what fat positive means, that's great. But saying you're gonna eat junk and embrace it because you're trying to be different, well that's just outright...stupid. If anything, you're giving the man what it wants, which is your money. All the money you spend on junk food. But, I digress...

sugarstrawberries

I actually had a lot trouble reconciling this for myself. It's hard to say, "There's no shame in a body, however it is," and then think, "Except, you know, I'm grotesque." (I have a very unhealthy inner-monologue about my own body; it's something that I'm working on.)

What it came down to, for me, is that I needed to take control of my eating and exercising for mental health reasons. I only feel manageable when I feel in control, and food is something I've always struggled to control. And while I've never been in poor health, as I lose weight I realize that I could be stronger and in better health -- which is something I want for myself.

So, its an active decision I continue to make for my own health, without creating blanket statements about the health or well-being of others.

This! This is a great post

Tymeshia

I found that when you are truly loving yourself you are thinking of your health.

jamiemommy

I totally get this...I never knew there was a name for it though? I love myself, I love my body and I love my life. I am happy:) My body has produced two of the most beautiful human beings ever to walk the earth. I can hike, play with my kids, travel,make love and most importantly I can look in the mirror and be thankful for my reflection. The fact is, carrying weight for a lifetime, no matter how happy a person is, will eventually cause problems and essentially shorten a human life and i don't know about you but I want to give myself every chance of a LONG and HEALTHY life so I can continue on the road I'm on:)

ashandstuff

This is a question I get a lot from friends and family.

Just because I strive to accept and appreciate what OTHER people do with their bodies doesn't mean I have to personally reflect those practices. I know a person who is a vegan, does that mean I have to be vegan too in order to be supportive? No, of course not! :]

Your goals are just that, your OWN GOALS. If you aren't pushing your personal ideologies on other people, then everything is totally fine!!!!

Sedna_51

Oh my god, yes, this, me too please. I'm constantly, constantly trying to figure this out for myself, and it's so terribly hard! Agh. I really love the HAES movement and the emphasis it puts on non-appearance related markers of health. And I've tried to become more aware of all the different bodies around me, all their different varied shapes, and how variation is natural and interesting and GOOD.

I always repost this piece from the National Eating Disorders Association, because I feel like it really helps to clarify so many things (at least in my head). http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/can-you-tell-anything-persons-weight

TheSlorax

I think a lot of people have answered your question - loving and accepting yourself means taking care of yourself, and if that entails losing weight, then you're perfectly fine and not bending to any societal norms.

I'm hoping you can answer my question: what is the point of fat acceptance? Isn't it kind of bending to society, in a way, if you feel you have to give it the middle finger and be fat to spite it? By going out of your way to not conform to society's pressures, you're still expending energy on societal rules - even if the efforts are on breaking them. Wouldn't it be better to have people be "self positive", in that they accept their spirit and mind wholeheartedly and learn to love who they are on the inside? I guess I am a little confused in how this is a good thing, and a better alternative to focusing on being thin, because it's still largely dependent on someone's appearance. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or trollish, either, this is genuinely tripping me up a little bit.