Fat-positive Feminism and Weight Loss

stealthq

Yet another way the system is stacked against men. (...)


And yes, a woman getting pregnant to snare a man is a common thing.

Hmmm, I can maybe see that the 'system' re family courts/custody favours women, but the 'system' in general is much more in men's favour. And I am a man.

Oh wow, I do not beleive that a woman getting pregnant to snare a man is common at all. I don't see how you could have any evidence on this, because I don't what this ensnarement would actually involve.

...

No info on stats for this, but a point of information. This would usually involve the woman assuring the man that she is on birth control when she is not, and/or sabotaging the birth control being used. The other method is assuring the man that she will get an abortion if she does get pregnant, then she chooses not to.

As to whether this is common or not, it would be difficult to prove any of these unless she were stupid enough to run around confessing her plan (women have been, especially to their female friends), or the man catches her in a lie (and then whom do you believe?).

NYCNika

This looks "empowered" to me.

gramarye

I'm hoping you can answer my question: what is the point of fat acceptance? Isn't it kind of bending to society, in a way, if you feel you have to give it the middle finger and be fat to spite it? By going out of your way to not conform to society's pressures, you're still expending energy on societal rules - even if the efforts are on breaking them. Wouldn't it be better to have people be "self positive", in that they accept their spirit and mind wholeheartedly and learn to love who they are on the inside? I guess I am a little confused in how this is a good thing, and a better alternative to focusing on being thin, because it's still largely dependent on someone's appearance. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or trollish, either, this is genuinely tripping me up a little bit.

I'm going to try to answer this and hopefully not eff it up. >_>;;

It's not saying, "Fat is great! Everyone should be fat!" (That's no better than, "Skinny is the best! If you're fat, you're bad!") It's about knowing our bodies, rather than believing that our bodies are faulty, ugly, unhealthy, or broken just because society expects them to be. It's a rejection of an expectation and a stereotype of what a fat person is or isn't. It's owning a space that is ours. I found this blog to be really helpful when trying to navigate the concept: http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/

I generally prefer the phrase "body acceptance" to "fat acceptance," just because its a lot more inclusive, and trips because up less. (And of course, in a perfect world, we would all be self-positive! )

Sorry I didn't get to this earlier, I didn't realize anyone had actually answered my question and the thread just got too crazy to wade through.

I definitely understand what you're saying to be "body acceptance." I have far less problems with that term than with "fat acceptance." And, quite frankly, I think what you just described is the movement in its purest form. I could be wrong but some of the responses here are very muddied and not really what I would expect. Somehow I feel as if concentrating on your appearance and body that much, even if the intent is to not hate it for being fat, is not productive or positive. Why not concentrate on your health? Or, like I said above, your spirit and your mind? I am not sure why it's okay to say "I love myself, IN SPITE OF being fat." Are we going to have "serious acceptance" next, in which people who are not funny get to say "I love myself, IN SPITE OF being not funny"? No, we're not, because that has nothing to do with appearance.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think it's ok for someone to love themselves IN SPITE OF how they look. You shouldn't have to be spiting society if you're not worried about what it thinks about your appearance. For me, this "fat acceptance" is still counter intuitive in that you still have to take into account what society does and doesn't say instead of just worrying about how you feel about yourself.

Another thing that bothers me... "fat acceptance" isn't teaching little girls that they're more than how they look, it's saying that it's ok if they end up being fat because you can love yourself IN SPITE OF that. They're still just an image, albeit one that is opposite of how society supposedly wants them to look. I am still saddened that this movement still concentrates on someone's appearance and thinks that the way you look is the only thing that needs to be compensated for. To use my earlier example, what about girls who are serious and are not clever or funny, but who are thin? From what I understand, "fat acceptance" tells her that she's thin so she doesn't need to worry, because she doesn't have to love herself IN SPITE OF anything.

I get that this is supposed to be positive, and maybe shouldn't be read into as deeply as I am. But I don't think it's helping women become more than objects and be valued by more than their appearances at all.

You're cool -- I just noticed today that this thread was still moving!

And I agree that it shouldn't be an "in spite of." That mental in spite of is something that I had to really overcome before I could be serious about loving my body. It's still a very heavily internalized negative. I had to stop saying, "I'll love this body until I'm rid of it," and start saying, "This is a good strong body that has served me well for almost three decades -- here's how I'm going to treat it better."

That said, I can't speak for the entire movement; it's just my impression of it.

(There are so many other responses, lol; I'm still reading and it's pretty intense.)