Fat-positive Feminism and Weight Loss
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Hello all,
I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.
Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?
Thanks for your thoughts!
You you can love your body now and still want to lose weight without being a hypocrite. Forget about the conformity and pressures of society, do what you have to do to live a healthy life. Really loving yourself and your body means you take care of yourself. Staying fat would not give you an feminism points since it really has nothing to do with being a feminist and it sure doesn't show that you love your body putting all that pressure on it with extra weight, the fat built up around your organs, the health issues and risks you are putting your body through... that shows you actually do not love your body, there is nothing positive about being fat.
Fat positive is a dumb term. I think fat acceptance makes more sense. Fat people are just as worthy as skinny people and we all deserve equal respect. That doesn't mean stay fat. Lots of people have tried explaining it already, just hope you start to understand.
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Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?
I don't know, but that was my assumption. Obesity is a disease. "Fat positive" is an oxymoron. Would you say you're "cancer positive"? "MS positive"?
At some point in America an idea took hold that everyone has to feel good about about herself or himself all the time, to the point where one is not only supposed to tolerate obesity, but argue it's a good thing. It's not.
exactly. embracing mediocrity is a defense mechanism0 -
I consider myself feminist and body positive. I don't believe that anyone should have their value as a person judged based on their weight, appearance, or ability. I have people I love in my life of all different sizes, and I accept and love them where they're at. However, I don't think it is incompatible to love/accept/don't judge someone where they are at, and also endorse a healthier lifestyle.
I think it's important to love yourself and your body - but loving it invokes taking care of it. I don't want to body-shame anyone, including myself, but no one does themselves any favors by remaining unhealthy, making choices that will, in the long run, affect mobility and even life span. It's hard for men to "get" how much emotional and societal baggage women have about weight and their bodies,and I appreciate a lot of the affirming parts of the "fat positive" movement - but I also think it enables women to not have to heal the relationships they have with food or their bodies. If you're "perfectly fine" the way you are then you never have to change anything or understand why you overeat or overcome your fears of working out, and you never get to be amazed by watching yourself rise to a physical challenge and meet it. It seems like a bandaid to cover/redefine the situation, not a solution. And I think it may do as much harm as it does good.
So, for me, I am body positive. I don't talk *kitten* about my body or anyone else's, I try not to judge myself, I challenge body shaming, and I take myself and others where they're at. But I also owe it to myself and my kids to make the most out of this one life I have, and this one body I have. And that means confronting my own issues with food, getting myself to a healthy weight, and getting myself active and strong.
This, 100%. I am absolutely a feminist and I don't see how respecting my body is at all at odds with being a feminist. Feminism means that men and women should be respected equally and are deserving of the same opportunities. How is devaluing your body by treating it like garbage at all in line with feminist ideals of respect?0 -
They are days when I simply like what I see while looking in mirror. With all my flaws, with my plus size. I still do want to lose weight, but I think its better to start your weighloss with positive attitude, not only about your journey, but mostly about yourself, so I think I am.
Confidence does not comes in specific shape. It simply comes from inside. Wether you weight 200 or 100 pounds, you can still love yourself.0 -
Big thanks to everyone, all of these posts are extremely helpful
To me, being fat positive is about knowing what it means to be fat (or big, or overweight, or curvy, or whatever other adjective does it for you), including the negative health effects, and choosing to be that way anyway. I've recently been conceptualizing choosing to be fat as a way to "fight the power" so to speak, to challenge societal standards of beauty and femininity. However, I really do want to be healthy, and to feel physically comfortable in my own skin.
I think instead of struggling with whether or not to lose weight I'll choose health and comfort over obsession with body weight and dress size.
Thanks again everyone!
I think maybe a better term that would give you less internal turmoil would be Body Positive. Having a positive self-image no matter what body you're in and striving to make it the best you are comfortable with0 -
But I am sceptical to all this fat-acceptance talking, as being overweight is a disease/leads to a disease.0
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Well, I'm a feminist, and I'm positive that I'm fat. Does that count?
LOL!0 -
I am trying to fight my natural urge to roll my eyes at someone declaring themselves a feminist. I am a humanist, I believe in empowering all people. Regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or weight. I was perfectly fine with myself and my body image at 320lbs.
But I was wrong. It was unhealthy. It was affecting me badly. Just like anorexia, it is a disease. A disease that can kill you. Most pro-ana people are 'fine with their body image'. It doesn't mean they're any less sick. Same goes for extremely obese people like myself. Once I realized this, losing weight became more important.
I am never going to be 'skinny'. But I want to be a healthy weight for myself and my son. That's my positive body image.
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Oh, sister! There's nothing positive about being overweight...if you're truly overweight. Excess fat is hard on the joints, pancreas, liver, heart, et cetera and the list of diseases that accompanies obesity is extensive. Respect for your health is not counterproductive to feminism.0
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I totally get this...I never knew there was a name for it though? I love myself, I love my body and I love my life. I am happy:) My body has produced two of the most beautiful human beings ever to walk the earth. I can hike, play with my kids, travel,make love and most importantly I can look in the mirror and be thankful for my reflection. The fact is, carrying weight for a lifetime, no matter how happy a person is, will eventually cause problems and essentially shorten a human life and i don't know about you but I want to give myself every chance of a LONG and HEALTHY life so I can continue on the road I'm on:)
Beautifully said! Totally reflects my thought...:)0 -
It only really makes me mad when their justifications for this are things like, "Men like Real Women...and Real Women have curves." What does that make me, then? A Paper Woman? A Doll Woman? Am I imaginary? Eff you!
Also, I think that when it is used merely as a way to get out of exercising and eating healthily, or to justify eating nothing but 30 Big Macs a day, it's stupid. At least have the common sense and maturity to own your issues and say, "Yeah. I'm overweight and it's not healthy. But I'm okay with myself." Not "Fat is Better".
Big can be beautiful, but when someone is morbidly obese I do not personally find that beautiful. There is a distinct difference between the two...and the person who is 500+lb, and is saying that they are a part of a 'movement' needs help.
Also...some of these people outright attack skinny people, and totally demonize eating disorders. It's outrageous. That's not cool.
Be proud of your size, of your body, love yourself, cool. But don't degrade others in order to make you feel more socially acceptable.
"For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we are still just able to endure, and we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying." Ranier Maria Rilke, Duino Elegies0 -
If being fat-positive means accepting myself even when I'm completely out of shape with fat bulging out everywhere then I guess you'll have to call me a fat-negative feminist. I was overweight and I hated it. I hated being out of shape and out of breath when climbing stairs. I hated not being able to run 500m without collapsing. I hated how I couldn't button my jeans or how the fat would just bulge out no matter what I wore. I disagree with the view that I should have been positive about how I used to be. No, it was unhealthy, self defeating and me hating that I was fat was good and also the catalyst for me finally realising that I needed to change. There was nothing good or positive in me being fat. Just the opposite. I had settled, become lazy, complacent and put my health at risk. I got gout, at 27!
I also don't believe that accepting being fat has anything to do with feminism. Being a feminist shouldn't mean accepting mediocrity and settling with regards to one's health. Instead it should include trying to be the best version of yourself that it's possible to be. Everybody (not only feminists) should be able to be straight and honest with themselves regarding their own health and not sugar coat hard truths and admit the fact when they're fat and then do something about it.0 -
Feminist or not, if you're overweight, you should be striving to be healthier for yourself.
Feminism has little to do with this, and it is often used an excuse to be 'body positive'
I'm all for loving your body, but a time should come where you know it is wrong to be a huge size, and if you don't agree, you wouldn't be on this site trying to be a healthier you.
I don't consider myself a feminist in the modern meaning of the word by any means.0 -
If being fat-positive means accepting myself even when I'm completely out of shape with fat bulging out everywhere then I guess you'll have to call me a fat-negative feminist. I was overweight and I hated it. I hated being out of shape and out of breath when climbing stairs. I hated not being able to run 500m without collapsing. I hated how I couldn't button my jeans or how the fat would just bulge out no matter what I wore. I disagree with the view that I should have been positive about how I used to be. No, it was unhealthy, self defeating and me hating that I was fat was good and also the catalyst for me finally realising that I needed to change. There was nothing good or positive in me being fat. Just the opposite. I had settled, become lazy, complacent and putting my health at risk. I got gout, at 27!
I also don't believe that accepting being fat has anything to do with feminism. Being a feminist shouldn't mean accepting mediocrity and settling with regards to one's health. Instead it should include trying to be the best version of yourself that it's possible to be. This includes being straight and honest with yourself regarding your own health and not sugar coating hard truths and admitting the fact when you're fat and then doing something about it.
This, a million times over.0 -
Having a positive attitude about being overweight is counterproductive to personal growth and overall fitness. Not taking care of yourself shows blatant disrespect and disregard towards your body and health. -_-0
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I consider myself a fat-positive feminist. I've long tried to argue in favor of us loving our bodies as they are. Body hatred, fat hatred are very effective forms of internalizing oppression.
That said - my family has an extremely strong history of diabetes and I don't intend to get it. Exercising and watching what I eat is key to this. Taking care of my body is putting love into practice. I also found that, over the years, as I exercised, I REALLY began to love my body. I loved that it could run further and faster. I loved that it could lift increasing amounts of weight. I loved what it could do in yoga. I didn't have to be slim to develop this appreciation for all that my body could do. It was great for self-confidence overall because these were accomplishments that could not be explained away as anything other than my work and my persistence.
Worry about the health indicators, not the vanity indicators. If the vanity indicators improve, consider this - a slim woman who is fat positive has more influence on public opinion than a large woman who is fat positive. Why? Because everyone blows off what the fat woman says. A straight woman who is advocating for acceptance of LGBT can be more effective because people will listen to her when they would not listen to the lesbian. A straight man can be even more effective. A straight male football player can be even more effective. As these are true for LGBT issues, they are also true for fat issues.
And good luck taking good care of you.0 -
From Merriam-Webster:
I don't consider myself a feminist in the modern meaning of the word by any means.
Feminism: : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
Just curious...which part of this don't you believe in?0 -
To me, feminism is about freedom. Freedom from conventional rules, mores and restrictions. If you're reacting against something (I'm going to be fat because they tell me I shouldn't), you're not free.0
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I don't understand how wanting to lose weight to be healthier has anything to do with being a feminist. I have always felt very strongly about the equality of the sexes, and therefore a feminist (since the late 1960s I might add). I don't feel in any way that wanting to be a healthy weight interferes or contradicts that philosophy. IMO it is just an excuse to stay fat.0
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Just my opinion... but weight has about as much to do with my kind of feminism as origami does....
Feminism as a movement is striving for equal treatment/rights/pay etc for women and pursuing our inalienable right to be valued and treated with respect.
*jumps off high horse*
Jenny :-) xx
If fat women get treated differently than fat men, isn't that a feminist issue? Body politics affects all of us; women's bodies get constantly scrutinized and commented on. The range of what counts as "acceptable" appearance and behavior is narrower for women than for men. This is true not just in the stupid media but also in the work place, so it is relevant.
Anyway, you can be fat and kick some serious *kitten*, like Holley Mangold here:
I just want to be healthy and independent, and I would like to continue being that way for some time. For me, that means keeping my body fat percentage within a relatively low range. What other women do with their bodies is none of my business.0 -
Everyone should love their body, regardless of it's size, shape, or condition.
You can know that you are beautiful and still want to make changes to it. You love your body, so you want to take care of it.
Rather than losing weight (a negative concept, because you are subtracting something) think about gaining endurance. Think about gaining strength. Gain some good nutrition. Gain a sense of discipline.
Hating your body does not make you healthy. Loving it does.0 -
I consider myself feminist and body positive. I don't believe that anyone should have their value as a person judged based on their weight, appearance, or ability. I have people I love in my life of all different sizes, and I accept and love them where they're at. However, I don't think it is incompatible to love/accept/don't judge someone where they are at, and also endorse a healthier lifestyle.
I think it's important to love yourself and your body - but loving it invokes taking care of it. I don't want to body-shame anyone, including myself, but no one does themselves any favors by remaining unhealthy, making choices that will, in the long run, affect mobility and even life span. It's hard for men to "get" how much emotional and societal baggage women have about weight and their bodies,and I appreciate a lot of the affirming parts of the "fat positive" movement - but I also think it enables women to not have to heal the relationships they have with food or their bodies. If you're "perfectly fine" the way you are then you never have to change anything or understand why you overeat or overcome your fears of working out, and you never get to be amazed by watching yourself rise to a physical challenge and meet it. It seems like a bandaid to cover/redefine the situation, not a solution. And I think it may do as much harm as it does good.
So, for me, I am body positive. I don't talk *kitten* about my body or anyone else's, I try not to judge myself, I challenge body shaming, and I take myself and others where they're at. But I also owe it to myself and my kids to make the most out of this one life I have, and this one body I have. And that means confronting my own issues with food, getting myself to a healthy weight, and getting myself active and strong.
Very well said!!!0 -
If you want to be healthy, then be healthy! If you choose to be overweight while knowing the negative consequences to your physical (and many times mental) health, then be overweight!
I've been at least somewhat overweight since a little before puberty. Only recently have I really seen the negative physical consequences begin to impact my life. The risks of high blood pressure, diabetes, lower fertility, and heart health have been my major factors; those may be completely different for you or other people. THIS is why I decided to change. I still feel that I am physically attractive the majority of the time, but I no longer feel that my health is "okay."
You can go against the social norm of feminine beauty without putting yourself through unnecessary physical harm.
Good luck on finding what makes you feel true to YOURSELF!0 -
here's something that I've been thinking about from threads like these and also in terms of fat acceptance, body acceptance, etc.
what do people mean by body type? Is obese a body type?
I'm not sure that it is. The way I see it, body type is from genetics, like your height, frame size, how your body stores fat, body proportions (e.g. short limbs, long torso or vice versa) and so on... and things like obesity, normal weight obesity and being dangerously underweight, are not body types, they're states that a body can get into, that in most cases (barring some medical exceptions) are reversible and preventable.
Of course, I don't think anyone should be belittled, judged, discriminated against or anything like that, either on the basis of actual body type, or on the basis of the current state of their body. But I think it's important to make that distinction, because you have to accept your body type for what it is and learn to love it (or, even better, never come to hate it in the first place) - but you don't have to accept the state your body's in if it's in an unhealthy state and it's within your power to change it (again, there may occasionally be medical reasons why this is not in someone's control, and no-one should judge others about it and medical reasons or lack thereof would be none of anyone else's business).
Being fit, strong and healthy is extremely empowering. Being unable to walk up a flight of stairs because you're extremely morbidly obese, or extremely unfit, or because you've starved yourself to the point that your muscles are all but wasted away... that is not empowering at all, it's dis-empowering. Giving women the information and support they need to be fit, strong and healthy, is going to empower women, and very importantly, doing this with an emphasis on it being about health and well-being (including good mental health), not about aesthetics or about fitting someone else's idea of what the ideal body is. (Because I for one am truly sick to death of the pathetic ideals for women in modern society, i.e. where feminine is equated with lack of strength, and where one body type (tall and small framed) is held up as ideal, together with the idea that visible muscle or looking strong and sturdy is "masculine" and undesirable.... and that is most definitely a feminist issue, along with a whole bunch of other stuff already mentioned on this thread.... but they're all for separate rants all of their very own...)0 -
Big thanks to everyone, all of these posts are extremely helpful
To me, being fat positive is about knowing what it means to be fat (or big, or overweight, or curvy, or whatever other adjective does it for you), including the negative health effects, and choosing to be that way anyway. I've recently been conceptualizing choosing to be fat as a way to "fight the power" so to speak, to challenge societal standards of beauty and femininity. However, I really do want to be healthy, and to feel physically comfortable in my own skin.
I think instead of struggling with whether or not to lose weight I'll choose health and comfort over obsession with body weight and dress size.
Thanks again everyone!
I think part of the issue is also rejecting third party standards about what constitutes "normal" weight, or always equating overweight with poor health. For example, I am overweight by every metric, and according to the heigh/weight charts, I would be "normal" anywhere in the 115-151 pound range. However, I know for a fact that being 115 (or even 120) pounds would be totally and completely unhealthy for me. I have around 140 pounds of lean body mass right now--why should I sacrifice muscle to fit into some "normal" box on a chart. Right now my goal weight is 160, which is still overweight according to all of the charts. But I think it's up to me to decide what's good for my body. If that makes me "fat" by medical metrics, then F them, basically. In addition, it makes me angry when people say that fat people are unhealthy, as if they can somehow see into their internal organs and assess their function. Even when I was 200 pounds, I exercised 4-5 times per week, could ride 100 miles on my bike, had "normal" blood pressure/pulse/blood sugar readings. The only thing unhealthy about me was not fitting into the right category on a chart!
So in terms of fat positivity versus body recomposition, I think the real issue is about having your own choices about your body be respected by those around you.0 -
Be unhealthy and proud!
Being an alcoholic isn't a personal problem to be addressed and overcome, it's a political statement. Embrace it and destroy your liver proudly!
How is that any different?
ETA: Is it different? If you are talking being positive and loving yourself, but wanting to be healthier, I can see it. That's just not the impression I get from the OP or what I've seen of the fat acceptance movement.0 -
Hi, Post feminist I am, but then I am post 40. Fat positive...naw, but positive right now maybe...but longer term aim to be lighter...regards0
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Wow, I think I want to look and feel my best. My personal best. As a 54 year old life long working woman, who votes as often as they open the polls, I wouldn't label any political group as adverse to that.0
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Well, I'm a feminist, and I'm positive that I'm fat. Does that count?
LOLZ! Get it, girl!0 -
I think part of the issue is also rejecting third party standards about what constitutes "normal" weight, or always equating overweight with poor health. For example, I am overweight by every metric, and according to the heigh/weight charts, I would be "normal" anywhere in the 115-151 pound range. However, I know for a fact that being 115 (or even 120) pounds would be totally and completely unhealthy for me. I have around 140 pounds of lean body mass right now--why should I sacrifice muscle to fit into some "normal" box on a chart. Right now my goal weight is 160, which is still overweight according to all of the charts. But I think it's up to me to decide what's good for my body. If that makes me "fat" by medical metrics, then F them, basically. In addition, it makes me angry when people say that fat people are unhealthy, as if they can somehow see into their internal organs and assess their function. Even when I was 200 pounds, I exercised 4-5 times per week, could ride 100 miles on my bike, had "normal" blood pressure/pulse/blood sugar readings. The only thing unhealthy about me was not fitting into the right category on a chart!
So in terms of fat positivity versus body recomposition, I think the real issue is about having your own choices about your body be respected by those around you.
you're not obese though. You're an illustration of everything that's wrong with BMI charts, and the most up to date medical research rejects BMI as a way to determine obesity.
my "healthy weight" range is 100-132lb. I'm currently 137lb and 20-25% body fat (depending on how it's measured) and I'm bulking (i.e. eating and training to gain muscle) hoping to get to 140lb (or more) without gaining too much fat.... Currently I have about 102-107lb lean body mass... I'm "overweight" according to BMI, and getting more "overweight".... but BMI is massively flawed so I blatantly ignore it and focus a) on how much I can bench, squat and deadlift, and b) body fat percentage, and that's for health reasons, not aesthetics. While six pack abs look very nice, I'm not bothered about having them myself, I'd much rather be able to deadlift 300+lb. And my ideal weight is the one that gives me the best wilks score.
What's interesting from a gender/feminist point of view, is that everyone accepts it more easily when a man has a lot of lean body mass for his height than when a woman does.... I've been told in the past that my numbers can't possibly be right, by people on internet forums who can't even see me, because I don't confirm to their idea that a woman of my height (5'1") should weigh 105lb, or some other ideal that only applies to small framed people.... really with my lean body mass being what it is, I should weigh 105lb?? pfft!! no way. But I'm not fat, I'm not close to being obese. 35% body fat is obese, I'm nowhere near that. I quoted a range rather than a specific value for my body fat percentage, because I know that there's difficulty getting a totally accurate measurement but I use several different ones and they're in that range and can't all be wrong.
ETA: I'm not currently close to deadlifting that much.... but that's one of my long term goals0
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