What’s a red flag for you?
Replies
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GymGoddessGoals wrote: »WTF is a K-Pop?
I kind of love it!! Hahaha...0 -
happimess01 wrote: »If he chats like we're going to be in a long term thing very early on. The "When we go on *insert road trip/vacation/spending every waking moment together*". Huge red flag if that starts before we've met in person. I don't even want a guy to talk about a 2nd date before we've met. One step at a time.
Such a red flag! But if you want to see a red flag in action, you should come to Spain with me this summer. We can watch those bullfighting matches in Madrid with the matadors waving that thing around.
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Dancer0515 wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »WTF is a K-Pop?
I kind of love it!! Hahaha...
My post is nearly a year old.1 -
I hate drunkenness2
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1. Obsession with using social media and “documenting every moment of life” oppose to “living it”
2. Boastfulness
3. Deceitfulness
4. Someone w/o goals
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People who openly tell you they have emotional issues.It seems like they use it as a blanket.
Talking down about themselves.
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taking 100+ pics of the food on her plate when we're out for a nice dinner
ma'am. ma'am. the lighting in here isn't ever gonna be good enough for your IG trust me can we just enjoy the moment instead pls5 -
-When he wants to take you shopping “his treat” as a first date. Only days of knowing you
- flaunts his money/ what he has ..comes off like a form of bribery.
Red flag.... I think it maybe a sign of major insecurity, wanting to be liked, ? Idk just sounds off.
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He uses the same lines and cute pet names with me as he does with all other women.4
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honeybee__12 wrote: »If he gets pissed just driving.
If he can’t handle that, doubt he can handle much without getting mad.
I don’t need anger in my life.
Where were you 7 years ago when I needed to learn this?2 -
honeybee__12 wrote: »He uses the same lines and cute pet names with me as he does with all other women.
Ooof. I had an ex like that. First, I was creeped out. Then I felt sorry for his utter lack of game. Then...
I gave him back to the streets.5 -
Bad breath
Mustache
Bad dressed1 -
RIP messages0
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If he treats an animal badly. I knew someone who seemed fantastic, until he spent more time with my puppy and another side emerged.2
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QueenZeeIsm wrote: »If he treats an animal badly. I knew someone who seemed fantastic, until he spent more time with my puppy and another side emerged.
It’s definitely a informative character trait when someone is cruel to animals. How can you even get mad at an animal anyway...annoyed yes but mad? If they harm animals there is a strong chance they lack empathy and would do the same to people too.1 -
Telling me don’t get too big.
Bodybuilders look gross.
Telling me I workout too much.
Trying to tempt me to cheat my diet.2 -
unforgettable2010 wrote: »Telling me don’t get too big.
Bodybuilders look gross.
Telling me I workout too much.
Trying to tempt me to cheat my diet.
On the flipside:
Telling me
- that they arent tempting me with food outside my calorie allowance, they just want me to be healthy.
- I have no more weight to lose immediately after I say I'm up almost 10 lbs
- that I look "fine" (in a meh tone)
He should just realize that he isnt attracted to me or the way I want my body and move on.2 -
“Uh uh, I AVOID drama”1
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When they say "rise and grind" and then you have to delete them from your life entirely.9
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When he busts my chops for something he is just as guilty for.2
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when "she/her" has her pronouns in her bio
sis pls, just be a person and stop labeling yourself cause you seen other people do it6 -
when "she/her" has her pronouns in her bio
sis pls, just be a person and stop labeling yourself cause you seen other people do it
Hmm, my workplace is considering this for our email sigs. I'm not opposed 🤷🏿♀️
And coincidentally, in a personal email this week, I have been politely corrected on this topic. I was forwarded a name as a contact to reach out to with a reference to she/her. Apparently, he didn't realize they use they/them pronouns.
They let me know, I clarified my pronouns, and then kept the convo about American Sign Language moving.
Not sure I'd add it to my personal email sig or not though.2 -
when "she/her" has her pronouns in her bio
sis pls, just be a person and stop labeling yourself cause you seen other people do it
Hmm, my workplace is considering this for our email sigs. I'm not opposed 🤷🏿♀️
And coincidentally, in a personal email this week, I have been politely corrected on this topic. I was forwarded a name as a contact to reach out to with a reference to she/her. Apparently, he didn't realize they use they/them pronouns.
They let me know, I clarified my pronouns, and then kept the convo about American Sign Language moving.
Not sure I'd add it to my personal email sig or not though.
i just don't respond to work emails until someone calls me complaining about why i haven't read their emails. even better if they use read requests on them.5 -
When here husband is a life long member of the NRA 😂2
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Won't give you the time of day except on their own terms. I got other things to do rather than worrying about whether you will or won't talk to me. Jerk.8
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Narcissistic4
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1.When the first few messages you exchange go sexual really quickly or they are extremely flirtatious.
2.Tries to dress me up.
3. Force their taste in music on you
4. Is not open to learning anything about your music tastes
5. Finding out she was/is a closeted racist with a fetish for black/Dark skinned men from her sister.
6. Are never clear about who they are talking to their phone and always take phone calls when you are not around
7. Divorced multiple times
8. Lies about their whereabouts constantly
9. Does not communicate about the issues that matter within the relationship and try to find solution and actively work on those solutions. Gives up easily when things dont work.
10. Does not allow you to have a safe space with them.
11. Treats you like *kitten* when you dont please them sexually and doesn't try to understand your desires when you communicate them
12. Tell you whatever you want to hear just so that you stay with them
12. Stay silent anytime you attempt to break up with them instead of trying to discuss reasons why you want to break up.
14. Are not open to learning anything about your interests because it reminds them of their exes
15. Makes up stories about different people in her life just so that you are comfortable with the idea of them but they are really someone else
16. Never wants you to meet their "friends"
17. Are not honest with their families about their relationship with you
18. Never keeps any pictures of you in their home or apartment
19. Still talks to or talks about their exes
20. Still has their exes last name!
21. Finding out that some childhood friends she told you about never even existed from her sister. Also if they make you hate their family so that you distance yourself from them.
22. If your relationship with them causes you to rethink long time friendships in your life. If she pollutes your mind about some of your closest friends
23. If they are "still friends" with their exes that they spent 17 years together with..
24. Gives you the very bear minimum of themselves
25. Also when their son warns you 5 years ago that you should not get involved with this person because she has a bunch of other online catfishes but you think he is just being an overly protective son and you do not heed his warning but later find out he was indeed very right... "Have fun playing with my mom, because she sure is having fun playing with you" I should not have taken those words lightly at all.
26. Oh also telling you that you look "just fine" as you gain more and more weight.
27. Telling you your hair looks great when you clearly look like a mess to keep you from taking care of yourself and under her control because she is so insecure of herself and does not want you to look better than her or attract anyone else. Control 101
These are just a few of the red flags that i noticed in my previous relationship and overlooked because of "love" and "Trust"... and truly sheer naivety
She was 51 and i was 23 when we met. I was going through a very hard time in my life and she took advantage of my vulnerability and lack of relationship experience. Im such a trusting person. i still am but i will learn to be more guarded next time. I gave her way too much information about myself right off the bat and that was my biggest mistake. I realize that she had a long term plan. She wanted someone young to take care of her one day when other may not have. She was never happy with her life and felt that lieing about every aspect of it would make people like her. I really wish i could help her see otherwise because she is an amazing and kind person who put her all into trying to make me happy and feel comfortable. But now i see that see that she only did it so that in the long run i would do it for her one day. I was her investment. Her "little pet project". Her fall back incase what she was truly looking for was never found. I would be the one that she would fall back on because well... I loved her and i was the only one who wanted to build a life with her and accepted her with all her flaws. I need to be smarter in the future and this experience definitely thought me better. Be careful out there friends!
Lets support each other on MFP and kill these goals!!!2 -
Soon2BSuper wrote: »
I second this ! Or when people say "A new chapter in my life...." Your life aint a book, just live it !1 -
outdoorsy_eco_minimalist wrote: »When he busts my chops for something he is just as guilty for.
Agreed. Two wrongs dont make a right. Something i learned the hard way in my previous relationship0
This made me almost spit my drink! 
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