Is my husband sabotaging my weight loss? HELP!

12346»

Replies

  • mtnhiker1
    mtnhiker1 Posts: 114 Member
    Tough one. My wife likes to cook for me. After the left overs built up in the fridge and some started to spoil she got the Idea that I am serious about losing some weight. (Though at first she though I did not like her cooking any more).
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    The only person that can truly sabotage you is you. You can ask him to not bring you those things, but ultimately it's your responsibility to find the will power to not eat them.
  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
    I haven't read all the posts, but I think there is more to it than "self control is up to you". Repeated offerings of food that don't fit into your plan and that you find difficult to resist is not cool (although not necessarily deliberate sabotage).

    We have a limited amount of willpower. The fewer choices we have to make based on willpower, the better those choices are likely to be. Having people bring you gifts which are only going to stress you out and test your willpower is not helpful. In fact that's sort of the opposite of "support", however it is intended.

    I definitely agree with those who recommend talking to him and helping him come up with other ways to channel his supportive urges. I'm sure if he understood he would be more than happy to support you in the best way he can.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I think there is more to it than "self control is up to you".

    I agree. There's a difference between having a lack of self control and someone trying to exploit you in an already weak area so that s/he can maintain the status quo of you depending on him/her or having low enough self esteem to not require respectful treatment or strong boundaries. You STILL have to make the healthy choices that are right for YOUR body, but it's just extra harder when the people around you don't want you to change.

    I say this as someone who left a relationship where my ex DID try to sabotage my health improvement efforts, and part of our relationship crumbling is that I finally realized what was happening, put my foot down, and stopped allowing it.

    In OPs case, though, I would make sure that's REALLY what's happening. It could be that he genuinely wants to help and if all he knows that makes you happy is sabotaging food, and you never tell him otherwise, then it's not really HIS fault if he keeps bringing it to you.
  • Bigjuicyhog
    Bigjuicyhog Posts: 61 Member
    Well, she has not logged in several days, and looks like a compulsive snacker. Good luck!

Categories