WHY do people CHEAT?
Replies
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They’re weak and pathetic and desperate to hide it.4
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Cause the game is going on and on and on and they just want it to end so they can go to bed1
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Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz wrote: »Cause the game is going on and on and on and they just want it to end so they can go to bed
Just let em win1 -
Cheaters think that they are doing something good when they cheat but at the end of there fantasy world the grass is never green on the side, before any one decide to stray they need to really think if it is worth it, the innocent is the one that hurts the most, some people just don't have moral and values0
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sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
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more_oomph wrote: »sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
This is adorable1 -
more_oomph wrote: »sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
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honey_honey_12 wrote: »more_oomph wrote: »sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
My gosh lookit these prudes3 -
more_oomph wrote: »sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
Something about your post doesn't sound reasonable. Just don't agree with this behavior. Nuff said...3 -
more_oomph wrote: »sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
There’s a different word for that3 -
more_oomph wrote: »sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
This is not cheating. This is called ethical non-monogomy. Cheating would be if you didn't talk to them and started sleeping with or dating or kissing others. If everyone's on board, that's a whole different thing fam6 -
more_oomph wrote: »sometimes I encourage my partner to cheat
I like to point out hot men and ask her, "would you jump his bones?"
nothing would make me prouder than seeing my sweet babygirl bag a stone cold hottie
and she wants the same for me
stop living in the dark ages, people
Something about your post doesn't sound reasonable. Just don't agree with this behavior. Nuff said...
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If you don't keep things exciting, and keep your partner satisfied, you have to accept the fact that they are at least going to think about cheating, even if they do not. If you don't want your partner to cheat, love'em up so often and so hard that they don't have the energy to even consider it.
Thats just me.10 -
Depends what you mean by "cheating"...is a kiss cheating? Flirting? How about emotional affairs of the heart that don't involve physical intimacy? Physical affairs with no emotions involved? Are drunk texts cheating? Is the closeness that results in a "work spouses" cheating?
Clearly...I don't know the answer (ha ha ha) I suppose the basic reasons are either a) character flaw; b) personal or relationship insecurity or c) perception that something NECESSARY is lacking or d) person doesn't value the relationship3 -
Lot of times they're just looking for some strange and nothing else.1
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Why?
Why?
Because that cozy, corner room at the El Dorado Motor Lodge ain't going to rent itself, amiright?5 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Why?
Why?
Because that cozy, corner room at the El Dorado Motor Lodge ain't going to rent itself, amiright?
Do they have a free continental breakfast?
Asking for a friend.2 -
bellababy9031 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Why?
Why?
Because that cozy, corner room at the El Dorado Motor Lodge ain't going to rent itself, amiright?
Do they have a free continental breakfast?
Asking for a friend.
Nobody knows.. they don't stay long.. gone back home before mornin.
I heard from a "friend"2 -
Simple answer: they're bored with the relationship they currently have or want to conquer as much sex as they can get.
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bellababy9031 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Why?
Why?
Because that cozy, corner room at the El Dorado Motor Lodge ain't going to rent itself, amiright?
Do they have a free continental breakfast?
Asking for a friend.
Probably just those sticky buns you get at a super 8 🤨1 -
bellababy9031 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Why?
Why?
Because that cozy, corner room at the El Dorado Motor Lodge ain't going to rent itself, amiright?
Do they have a free continental breakfast?
Asking for a friend.
Sure……
If that’s what you want to call it.1 -
because they can2
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I think it's complicated as there can be any number of reasons.
One that I think of is that the cheater is unhappy in their relationship,or maybe "settled" for their current partner in the first place thinking they could grow to love him/her. When one is married, esp. with kids, it takes a lot to end things because it is a HUGE change and adjustment.
Having said that, I don't think cheating is ever excusable and one should always end things before starting the new one. Confession: I am in a position where I could cheat and the desire to do so is definitely there. Another confession: I have admitted to myself, even years ago, that I settled when I married my current partner and know deep down he is not the right person for me. I've been unhappy in my marriage for a long time, and I know he has, too. The person I could cheat with is someone from my past in which we had insane chemistry (beyond physical) where the relationship ended because he was in the Navy and was sent overseas and our relationship was new, not because we ever had a chance for it to grow and decided it wasn't right. This was over 20 years ago, but in connecting to him again (not in person) we both realized how easy it was to feel comfortable with one another again even though it had been so long and a short-lived relationship. Honestly, it's crazy. And yes, I feel guilty as hell we've reconnected.
However, I won't cheat on my husband, but this has given me the final push to realize I need to be upfront with my husband and move on. I know he will be happier in the long run, too.
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Speakeasy76 wrote: »One that I think of is that the cheater is unhappy in their relationship,or maybe "settled" for their current partner in the first place thinking they could grow to love him/her. When one is married, esp. with kids, it takes a lot to end things because it is a HUGE change and adjustment.
Long time ago, over 30 years now, a friend of a friend was marrying a woman under those circumstances. He'd confided in my friend that he wasn't in love with his fiancee but he thought she'd make a great mother so that's why he had decided to marry her. As far as I could tell they had nothing in common.... they'd started dating in high school when you have everything in common but had grown in different directions since then. You could see the young woman was head over heels for him though.
I wonder how long it lasted.3 -
Speakeasy76 wrote: »One that I think of is that the cheater is unhappy in their relationship,or maybe "settled" for their current partner in the first place thinking they could grow to love him/her. When one is married, esp. with kids, it takes a lot to end things because it is a HUGE change and adjustment.
Long time ago, over 30 years now, a friend of a friend was marrying a woman under those circumstances. He'd confided in my friend that he wasn't in love with his fiancee but he thought she'd make a great mother so that's why he had decided to marry her. As far as I could tell they had nothing in common.... they'd started dating in high school when you have everything in common but had grown in different directions since then. You could see the young woman was head over heels for him though.
I wonder how long it lasted.
I've wondered what my best friends really thought about me marrying him, knowing that I had reservations about my husband because I didn't feel butterflies from the start. I guess I will find out in a few days when I confess that I am going to be asking for a divorce after the holidays...
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In terms of long term relationships I’d say it was probably because one of the couple wasn’t having their needs met, be it emotionally or sexually and as such the other person finds that in someone else. It gives them a sense of fulfilment and of being whole again despite the need not being met inside their relationship.3
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In terms of long term relationships I’d say it was probably because one of the couple wasn’t having their needs met, be it emotionally or sexually and as such the other person finds that in someone else. It gives them a sense of fulfilment and of being whole again despite the need not being met inside their relationship.
That's such a vague, insubstantial rationalization though.
First you have to separate what are truly "needs" from "wants".
How much responsibility lies on the partner to fulfil the other person's "needs", and how much on the individual self?
Has the partner clearly articulated what they "need" from the other person, and is that person actually refusing to make any effort to meet the requests, or have they been set an insurmountable task with shifting goalposts that they can never satisfy?6 -
It’s a sensitive topic and it’s hard to say right or wrong, as it totally depends on the individual’s circumstances. There could be someone who is struggling in his/her relationship and this other person is like the opportunity to overcome that pain. Though I’m personally supportive of the fact that cheating should be avoided at all cost, how we it’s the circumstances that guides you.2
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In terms of long term relationships I’d say it was probably because one of the couple wasn’t having their needs met, be it emotionally or sexually and as such the other person finds that in someone else. It gives them a sense of fulfilment and of being whole again despite the need not being met inside their relationship.
That's such a vague, insubstantial rationalization though.
First you have to separate what are truly "needs" from "wants".
How much responsibility lies on the partner to fulfil the other person's "needs", and how much on the individual self?
Has the partner clearly articulated what they "need" from the other person, and is that person actually refusing to make any effort to meet the requests, or have they been set an insurmountable task with shifting goalposts that they can never satisfy?
I’m talking basic relationship needs, not own personal needs, those area different.
In a relationship each party needs to feel that they are listened to, valued, they are wanted, desired. When aspects of that are ignored on a frequent basis, even if communicated effectively that it’s an element that’s missing is when people tend to seek it elsewhere.
For example, a small proportion of relationships end up in sexless marriages, very rarely do these relationships survive simply because the lack of intimacy causes a whole host of additional effects. Like reduced self esteem, paranoia, being touch starved, feelings of frustration, resentment and loneliness. Those feelings put the other party at an increased risk of affair be it emotional or physical because they will seek that missing aspect elsewhere, even if they don’t intend to. Many partners of people in sexless relationships will say that every other part of their relationship is great, but that area is one they cannot get over.
That example can be switched out for several other basics in a relationship and the result will be that if you aren’t left feeling secure in your relationship naturally it will be sought somewhere else.5 -
In terms of long term relationships I’d say it was probably because one of the couple wasn’t having their needs met, be it emotionally or sexually and as such the other person finds that in someone else. It gives them a sense of fulfilment and of being whole again despite the need not being met inside their relationship.
That's such a vague, insubstantial rationalization though.
First you have to separate what are truly "needs" from "wants".
How much responsibility lies on the partner to fulfil the other person's "needs", and how much on the individual self?
Has the partner clearly articulated what they "need" from the other person, and is that person actually refusing to make any effort to meet the requests, or have they been set an insurmountable task with shifting goalposts that they can never satisfy?
I’m talking basic relationship needs, not own personal needs, those area different.
In a relationship each party needs to feel that they are listened to, valued, they are wanted, desired. When aspects of that are ignored on a frequent basis, even if communicated effectively that it’s an element that’s missing is when people tend to seek it elsewhere.
For example, a small proportion of relationships end up in sexless marriages, very rarely do these relationships survive simply because the lack of intimacy causes a whole host of additional effects. Like reduced self esteem, paranoia, being touch starved, feelings of frustration, resentment and loneliness. Those feelings put the other party at an increased risk of affair be it emotional or physical because they will seek that missing aspect elsewhere, even if they don’t intend to. Many partners of people in sexless relationships will say that every other part of their relationship is great, but that area is one they cannot get over.
That example can be switched out for several other basics in a relationship and the result will be that if you aren’t left feeling secure in your relationship naturally it will be sought somewhere else.
I've been commenting on this post a lot because it's so relevant to my life right now, and honestly not a position I thought I'd be in.
My husband and I have been in an *almost* sexless marriage for a long time now, by my choice. To me, it is more of a duty, an obligation, but he would want to do it a lot more. If anyone should be cheating, it should be him. I wouldn't blame him at all and honestly, it would be a relief. I have tried to convince myself for a long time that I could be ok with staying married to him as more as my best friend and father of my children and not a romantic partner, but that thought just made me so depressed when I thought about it at night. It's also not fair to him at all. However, I've finally accepted that I'm not physically attracted to him anymore, and don't know if I ever felt all that attracted. When I met him, though, even though he wasn't my "type" in many ways, I was looking for stability and companionship after a certain phase of my life. He fulfilled that for me, plus he is kind, hard-working, smart, funny/goofy, etc. I tried to convince myself that makes a good husband and that would be ok, but don't know if I was ever "in love" with him.
In reconnecting with my old flame (which is all I can really call him since our relationship was so new before he had to leave), I had forgotten how many of my own needs were not being met in a relationship, and not necessarily in a way my husband could provide. This old flame and I had an intense, yet short-lived, relationship and I remember how I felt when I first met him and when I was with him, even talking to him now. We aren't having an affair now, not a physical one anyway, but it is definitely headed towards emotional, if not there already. I can honestly say I never felt that way with my husband, and it's not just about physical attraction. In fact, this old flame isn't probably a guy that I would feel head-over-heels just by physical looks alone. It's a combination of factors.
As I said in my previous posts, I was unhappy and thinking of divorce long before I reconnected with this other guy, but remembering all these old feelings and realizing what's important to me has given me the courage to ask for one. It's what's fair to not only me, but definitely my husband and my kids. He doesn't deserve a wife that is only lukewarm and deserves to be loved the way he should be loved. This other guy has had no direct involvement in that decision at all and never crossed lines that I didn't first, either. However, I'd be lying if I said that knowing that I can talk to him without guilt and do the things I really want to do isn't a motivating factor...and he lives 6 hours away, so it won't be easy, either.4
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