GF issues w/ the gym/ fitness

So I need advice / opinions, I figured why not post something here since I don’t know anyone on this thing in real life so here we go.

What’s up with you girls and not liking the fact that people who enjoy working out spend allot of time in the gym. Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately. You guys seem to love the results however you have an issue with the gym.

My current gf has “huge” issues with me working out….. realize I go to the gym in the morning (up around 4:30am arrive at 5:30-6:00am)so it does not affect our personal life or time together as we don’t even live together .I also don’t ever say “I have to go to bed have the gym in the morning”, I just go with lack of sleep instead. IE today I got 2 hours of sleep maybe 2.5hrs

My “weird eating habits”…. her and I are both have gluten allergies….Why is it weird that I eat 2 chicken breasts instead of 1?? I don’t get it…. Her whole family has this hang up and I don’t know where the heck it came from, I’m sure it has something to do with her saying something about gluten, but she has the same problem… idk.

The fact that I don’t drink alcohol even though I explained I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family(Fathers side) and that is my reasoning to never drinking. Like it makes sense, I don’t smoke crack either … maybe I should have some of that if it becomes socially acceptable ? I don’t care when or if she drinks … I could understand it if I made comments but I don’t give a ****. All my friends drink, I go to bars with them all the time … what’s the issue you get a free cab every weekend cause I don’t drink. . .

So yeah if you got around to reading all of that, I look forward to some opinions of some men who’ve been in the same situation and some woman who have an issue with this and why. To be clear I have asked her what her issue is with me being into fitness, nutrition and the human anatomy and she just says “I don’t know”, I’ve never preached it once to her or anyone. I actually hate the attention I get because of my weight loss, one day you’ll get there when for the 100000000 time someone asks you what “diet” are you on, when you just eat healthy.

Oh and make note… I don’t talk about what I do at the gym with her at all, it’s “did you go to the gym today?” Me: Yup…. Conversation changed to something else. I did not know her before when I was bigger, however she is aware of my weight loss, she has also lost 90lbs however she just changed eating habits and did a bit of spinning.

Thanks for reading,


  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
    That's not girls... That's your girl.

    Just break up.

  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    That's not girls... That's your girl.

    Just break up.


  • choijanro
    choijanro Posts: 754 Member
    well for me,, i want my girlfriend to do calorie counting and exercise too but i do my best,, she is not interested and too lazy about calorie counting and exercise,,

    thats why i go solo in the gym or outdoor exercise,, and im still happy that she supports me,,motivates me,,etc,, but sometimes negative is activated on my gf like having a monthly period mood,, like exercise again? ur wasting ur time,money, tired and pain,, u will not lose weight anyway or we will die someday,, i just like,, wtf?,, is that u ? is the ghost of the troll warlord is inside u? ,, ahahaha,,,,,
  • onedayatatime12
    onedayatatime12 Posts: 577 Member
    I feel that I'm not old enough to make a comment here as I don't have enough experience in relationships (at all!) but here goes nothing.

    I think she may not like the attention you'd be getting at the gym... She may be jealous for god knows what reason.. Perhaps you can ask her if she wants to come along with you? Girls can get really insecure about themselves at times, as I'm sure you know.

    And as for the chicken breast issue, so what? Eat whatever you want- it's a personal choice. It's not like you're eating two boxes of cupcakes or something. And the alcoholism- they should know better than to pressure you. Kudos to you for not giving in- that is really something to admire.

    Hope everything takes a turn for the better. If not, there's always something better in store for you in life. Take care. :flowerforyou:
  • GrnEyes839
    GrnEyes839 Posts: 74 Member
    If it were someone that truly cared about you she would love all things about you regardless.
  • stackhead
    stackhead Posts: 121 Member
    You didn't really say what issues she had... just that she had issues. Maybe she's just a little insecure after a 90lb weight loss? Maybe she still thinks herself as the 'fat girl'. Maybe she thinks she doesn't deserve a boyfriend who takes care of himself. Maybe this is making her act wierd.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    IDK seems a bit insecure or something...I wouldnt want the issues you'll have 5 or 10 years down the line in this relationship. Good luck

    Oh one more thought how many hours a week are you spending in the gym if that is your second home and she only gets a small portion of your time that might be another issue?
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    That's not girls... That's your girl.

    Just break up.


    Pretty much.
    If it were someone that truly cared about you she would love all things about you regardless.

    Disagree. Caring about someone does not mean you have to love everything they do. That said, I couldn't date someone who was constantly on my back about my fitness and dietary habits. Training is not a hobby for me. It is a very, very important part of my life. So I don't just need you to accept it; I want you to support me in it. That means you don't ask me to skip training sessions or to get less sleep because you want to go out. It also means you don't ask me to eat crap food with you all the time because your family finds it annoying that I don't eat what they eat. If you can't do that, I'm not the woman for you. Period.

    So, OP, you need to:
    1) decide what's more important to you between your workouts/diet and your girlfriend
    2) take a firm stand one way or the other
    3) stop blaming "you girls" for the crap YOUR girl pulls
  • Your girlfriend sounds ridiculously controlling. DO NOT MARRY HER! you've been warned. My husband is very athletic, and goes to the gym. I like that we both set a good example to our children when it comes to fitness. With that said I do not care or pay attention to what he eats or drinks. Aint nobody got time for that!
  • horrorstory
    horrorstory Posts: 125 Member
    So, OP, you need to:
    1) decide what's more important to you between your workouts/diet and your girlfriend
    2) take a firm stand one way or the other
    3) stop blaming "you girls" for the crap YOUR girl pulls

    My thoughts exactly.
  • srevels85
    srevels85 Posts: 49 Member
    I had the same problem before but reversed as it was my boyfriend that had the issues with me running/working out. I never got it either. But I did get out of it because ultimately we didn't share the same common love. When it first started happening, I didn't thiink it would be a big deal, but since running is a huge passion in my life, him not supporting it really hurt me. Ultimately leading to us finally breaking up.

    Its not a fun thing to go through. Seems like if you make sacrafices to wake up before the crack of dawn to get your workout done and over with, they would admire your motivation and your unselfishness to NOT let it effect your personal life.

    Hope it gets better for you!
  • speedgoose
    speedgoose Posts: 295
    Some people will never understand dedication to a healthy lifestyle. For me, that'd be a deal breaker. If she is worth it to you, have an open conversation about it and let her know that this is part of who you are and it's not going to change, even 20 years down the road. She may be thinking that this is something you'll drop eventually, but it's not.

    Sorry about the situation, I have friends that don't understand the healthy lifestyle I have or why I workout so much ( and that I ENJOY doing it), or the food choices I make, so I kind of understand. Fortunately my BF is just like me. I don't think I would be dating him if he wasn't.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    First, your girlfriend is like this, not all women.

    Second, my initial thought is that it's insecurity. She thinks you're going to get more fit, get more attention from other women and leave her.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    You're meeting the wrong girls...
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    That's not girls... That's your girl.

    Just break up.



    Yep. Except, maybe not the break up part. That's up to you.

    But, seriously, men don't have the monopoly on fitness. I'm up every day at 5am to go kill it at CrossFit. And sometimes I run at night too. Generalizations are bad things...
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    She's insecure
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    My OH isn't a gym goer but he does Ultra distance (longer than marathon distance) fell races, and multi-stage mountain bike races that can go for numerous days. I knew that when I met him. I love the way he committs himself to stuff and always support his training, I sherpa at races etc. He is also very good at fitting his training around the rest of our life, by getting up early and by the time I've had breakfast he's coming back from a 3 hour run.

    I just don't think you've met the right person. :flowerforyou:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 47,916 Member
    I realized that all the females I dated that hated I spent a lot of time at the gym, didn't workout. They had nice boobs, but didn't work out.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • atb0821
    atb0821 Posts: 458 Member
    She probably will never truly understand unless she becomes a 'gym person' herself. Back in the day, I never understood people's obsession with exercise and going to the gym. But these days I make tons of sacrifices to make sure I get my workouts in. Once I got into this mind-set, it all made sense. Luckily my husband is the same way and would never dream of complaining that I get home late at night because I was at the gym.
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
    Not a fan of the broad generalizations. Nobody talks me out of going to the gym. Take it or leave it. I'm with Casey on this one. I don't think i could be with someone that doesn't have similar goals as me because they just don't understand how important it is to me.