GF issues w/ the gym/ fitness

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  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
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    I've had two guys dump me because of my fitness goals and the fact that I'm training with my horse to ride in eventing and that I have to take care of my horse daily.

    You need to decide what are deal breakers for you and stick with it. At the same time, although it doesn't sound like this, you also have to negotiate what's acceptable and not acceptable.

    Some one telling me to not see my horse everyday or go workout, excepts for special occassions, is unacceptable to me. I will rearrange my schedule for dates, what not, but I will not drop the two things in the world that I look forward to most.

    As for the drinking, my father is an alcoholic. She should be understanding of that and happy that you are trying to break the cycle.
  • xX_Samantha_Xx
    xX_Samantha_Xx Posts: 166 Member
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    What's funny about this is that my boyfriend is VERY active and it only inspires me to want to enjoy active things with him more. If she has no interest in your hobby, or gets upset or has resentment for you doing this to better yourself.. then you don't need her. That's what it comes down to. It seems she has issues with insignificant things.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I don't have any issue with people who enjoy the gym or who eat properly.

    What's with all the guys who look down on girls who don't go to the gym and don't eat 100% clean?

    ...

    ... see how that mentality can be turned around?
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
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    She is uncomfortable with herself so she wants to bring you down.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I'm a dancer.

    I'm a dedicated dancer who trains to dance.

    NOTHING comes before dancing. NOTHING. Including my BF. I do not live with him- or even near him. But when he is here- if I have dance that day- too damn bad.

    And he is surviving just fine with the quality time I DO make for him.

    You're GF is wack- it's time to have a serious conversation about it. ESPECIALLY since you aren't even cutting in on "her time" I suspect it has more to do with the fact- as noted- she thinks you're either trolling the gym for more tail- or that you'll find someone better than her (odds are strong that you will since she's clearly an idiot and selfish)

    I would get out now- if you think this is bad- wait till you are around each other 24/7- it doesn't go UP hill with marriage. Things that are issues only get worse as they compound. You never solve things long term like that.
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
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    Not all girls- YOUR girl.

    I love it when my husband comes home after a work out, all sweaty.

    I like the fact he takes the time to do it-

    1. It shows he cares about his health
    2. It shows he takes pride in how he looks
    3. It means he'll be around to put with me and my antics more :tongue:
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    My $.02: Forget women, acquire aesthetics. If she doesn't lift, she isn't girlfriend material. Find a hottie that lifts, ask her out. If it works, great. If she shoots you down, wait until you find another hottie that lifts to ask out. In the mean time, get shredded.
  • _Tara_R
    _Tara_R Posts: 688 Member
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    That's not girls... That's your girl.



    This
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Start dating women instead of girls....
  • SkinnyMsFitness
    SkinnyMsFitness Posts: 389 Member
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    So I need advice / opinions, I figured why not post something here since I don’t know anyone on this thing in real life so here we go.

    What’s up with you girls and not liking the fact that people who enjoy working out spend allot of time in the gym. Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately. You guys seem to love the results however you have an issue with the gym.

    My current gf has “huge” issues with me working out….. realize I go to the gym in the morning (up around 4:30am arrive at 5:30-6:00am)so it does not affect our personal life or time together as we don’t even live together .I also don’t ever say “I have to go to bed have the gym in the morning”, I just go with lack of sleep instead. IE today I got 2 hours of sleep maybe 2.5hrs

    My “weird eating habits”…. her and I are both have gluten allergies….Why is it weird that I eat 2 chicken breasts instead of 1?? I don’t get it…. Her whole family has this hang up and I don’t know where the heck it came from, I’m sure it has something to do with her saying something about gluten, but she has the same problem… idk.

    The fact that I don’t drink alcohol even though I explained I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family(Fathers side) and that is my reasoning to never drinking. Like it makes sense, I don’t smoke crack either … maybe I should have some of that if it becomes socially acceptable ? I don’t care when or if she drinks … I could understand it if I made comments but I don’t give a ****. All my friends drink, I go to bars with them all the time … what’s the issue you get a free cab every weekend cause I don’t drink. . .

    So yeah if you got around to reading all of that, I look forward to some opinions of some men who’ve been in the same situation and some woman who have an issue with this and why. To be clear I have asked her what her issue is with me being into fitness, nutrition and the human anatomy and she just says “I don’t know”, I’ve never preached it once to her or anyone. I actually hate the attention I get because of my weight loss, one day you’ll get there when for the 100000000 time someone asks you what “diet” are you on, when you just eat healthy.

    Oh and make note… I don’t talk about what I do at the gym with her at all, it’s “did you go to the gym today?” Me: Yup…. Conversation changed to something else. I did not know her before when I was bigger, however she is aware of my weight loss, she has also lost 90lbs however she just changed eating habits and did a bit of spinning.

    Thanks for reading,
    Brad

    Hahah. You're confused my friend. "You guys" should rightfully imply men and women. Seems you're dealing with a jealous girl. My bf has been going to the gym 7+ yrs, almost daily. I am completely okay with it. Instead of whining, why not become proactive:

    Break it off
    Gain her interest in joining you...she'll feel better about herself

    And I'm sure you know, but you need to work on getting sleep. Mine goes to bed at 9 pm b/c he gets up just as early as you...if not earlier. She can't deal, why do you want to make yourself miserable?

    Everybody, and I emphasize 'everybody' has tendencies to act ignorantly when they're confused/inexperienced/uneducated about any topic in life. Myself included.
  • ashandloggiesmom
    ashandloggiesmom Posts: 92 Member
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    Sounds like you have a nitpicky one there, if she feels the need to comment on everything you do that she doesn't like, that tells me she would like to change you. And while compromise is a must to a certain degree, I'm thinking maybe you would be happier with someone a little less restrictive.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    Just go gay and workout with you new bf.
  • Grendel07
    Grendel07 Posts: 112 Member
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    Unfortunately, girls sometimes think that men who spend so much time in the gmy ( no matter what time you're there ) they some times think you are there to check out/hit on other girls and/or you're going to the gym to better yourself to the point where you'd leave her for someone "better' or "hotter"
    These are the only few reason that I could come up with. She just sounds insecure and her answer of "I dont know" when you ask her why she disagrees with you going/eating better just reassures me that she's got her own hang ups.

    I wish the best for you. No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship.
  • mnapier3
    mnapier3 Posts: 30
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    That's not girls... That's your girl.

    Just break up.

    /thread.

    YUP!

    My bf (we've been together almost 7 years) started going to the gym solo; I actually bought the membership for him! Eventually I signed up after I saw his progress. He actually motivated me to get in there and do some bench presses! If your woman isn't supporting you and you don't even want to SHARE some of your day with her tells me your relationship is a realtion****.

    Talk it out, work it out, or move on.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    "What’s up with you girls and not liking...."


    Stop dating the same type of girl. Because girls are not one unit controlled by one set of likes and dislikes, same goes for men.

    If you find yourself dating girls who seem controlling and critical of your hobbies - ask yourself, why are you drawn to this type of person?
  • ainsleybtown
    ainsleybtown Posts: 484
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    she sounds totally insecure. you look amazing. good on you for taking such good care of yourself!! you should be damn proud.
  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
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    Instead of asking MFP.....ask your girlfriend. In a non-accusatory way, have a discussion with her. There's always more to a story. And if she doesn't give you a reason, and continues to do it after you've come to an understanding.....find a new girlfriend.

    And generalizing is a NO GO. I would kill for a man who liked to exercise, and better yet, exercise with me. Like other posters have said.....that's your girlfriend's issue, not the issue of all women.
  • Heatherjg0419
    Heatherjg0419 Posts: 52 Member
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    3) stop blaming "you girls" for the crap YOUR girl pulls

    Word.

    Wait, do people even use that anymore? Either, #3 speaks the truth
  • NYactor1
    NYactor1 Posts: 9,642 Member
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    Time to trade in. There are some nice 2014 models coming out.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    Unfortunately, girls sometimes think that men who spend so much time in the gmy ( no matter what time you're there ) they some times think you are there to check out/hit on other girls and/or you're going to the gym to better yourself to the point where you'd leave her for someone "better' or "hotter"
    These are the only few reason that I could come up with. She just sounds insecure and her answer of "I dont know" when you ask her why she disagrees with you going/eating better just reassures me that she's got her own hang ups.

    I wish the best for you. No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship.

    Actually, last girl I dated admitted this. She didn't want me to loose weight and get in shape because she had guys before that left her afterwards. But screw that, I was doing it for me. She didn't last. Not because of the gym, but because she bacame mormon and I am not going to date a chick in a cult. But I have a feeling the gym issue would have ended it anyway.

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