GF issues w/ the gym/ fitness

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  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
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    That's not girls... That's your girl.

    Just break up.

    /thread.
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
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    Quit going to the gym, get fat, gf dumps you for a fit guy...No, wait...
  • jlahorn
    jlahorn Posts: 377 Member
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    Good lord, how old are you? This sounds like high school bull****.
  • jenjencin78
    jenjencin78 Posts: 4,415 Member
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    You need a new GF because not all women are insecure and controlling of their BF and jealous of their time in the gym. I'd suggest trying to find someone that shares some common interests-you'll be better off for it.
  • jilliangetsit
    jilliangetsit Posts: 97 Member
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    I could be wrong, but maybe she's insecure. It's good to get an "outside perspective" as there wouldn't be any bias based on knowing your gf personally, but at the same time - any advice would be theoretical because of not knowing her, the history between you two, etc.
    Maybe she is insecure about her body and just isn't motivated like you are to change it so she feels the need to defend her behavior by challenging yours.
    Maybe she is insecure about your relationship and wonders if you might be getting attention from women at the gym.
    Maybe she likes where you're at physically and doesn't want to accept that you're still working on making more progress and she doesn't want to come right out and tell you that she wants you to cool it on your diet and exercise.
    Maybe she's just not a supportive person.

    I watched a show recently, narrarated by Morgan Freeman (lol surprise) but it talked about the human mind, It explains how when monitoring brain activity of a person while you tell them statistics/possibilities of them experiencing certain things in life IE: cancer, heart attack, etc - they don't have a realistic understanding of the chance that this could happen to them. Their brain shows little activity. Positive information/statistics will cause an excessive amount of brain activity (I feel like I'm rambling but I promise I'm going somewhere with this) - After they explain that, they switch over to how people's brain will react to the same information when it's regarding someone else. More often than not, when its good news/bad news about a family member, loved one - they have a positive outlook/reaction/perspective on the circumstance, but that's not always the case. If it's stranger they have a pessamistic outlook on their circumstance. Maybe she just has a negative attitude about your positive circumstance and progress - wow that was a lot blah blah blah! Anyway - maybe you can subtly pitch some of that her way and see how she reacts or consider if any of that might apply to your situation with the gf. Good luck!! :)
  • onedayatatime12
    onedayatatime12 Posts: 577 Member
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    First, your girlfriend is like this, not all women.

    Second, my initial thought is that it's insecurity. She thinks you're going to get more fit, get more attention from other women and leave her.

    QFT
  • TwoPointZero
    TwoPointZero Posts: 187 Member
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    Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately.
    You have probably just gotten unlucky. Unless you are dating hundreds of women, you probably don't really have a statistically valid sample . . . Maybe just the women in your area, or school, or profession, or ???
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
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    Next time, find a gf who wants to go the gym and workout just as much as you do.
  • lawkat
    lawkat Posts: 538 Member
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    First of all, you never stated what her problem is. Second, not all women are like that. If you encounter woman after woman like that, then it is you who are drawn to women like that. Maybe you should start telling her about what you do at the gym. Since you don't, she might think you are up to something by not discussing it. Also, do you invite her to come along? If not, that could feed into her insecurity. She is a former fat girl and probably has some self esteem issues. When she says "she doesn't know," she does. She doesn't want to tell you what they are for fear that you will reject her or call her insecure.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    I think a lot of communication is needed for this situation.

    Oh and I am a girl and I wish my bf would be dedicated to his health :frown:
  • Briko3
    Briko3 Posts: 267 Member
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    Insecurity. She wishes she had the discipline to do what you're doing and it makes he feel bad. Now that she lashed out, she can't start doing what you're doing because she would come off looking like a hypocrite. She's in a rut she doesn't know how to get out off. Classic psychology.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I don't know what your girlfriend is thinking/feeling. Maybe you should ask her.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    "you girls"


    just no.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    She sounds like a winner!
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I've known of a couple of girls who get jealous of the time a guy their seeing spends in the gym. I think a lot has to do with insecurities over you finding a fitter girlfriend basically - but I haven't seen it that widespread, such as in every girl I've known.

    Honestly, I think if you two are going to stay together and work this out, you need to communicate a lot more and get across to her that you can't continue the way it is now. You're obviously with her for a reason, but she needs to understand that it isn't right for her to be so unsupportive.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,908 Member
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    I don't know where you're meeting these girls because none of this even made sense to me. Please do not generalize all women. Some of us don't sweat the small stuff and don't try to control others.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Sounds like she's nitpicking about things that aren't even issues. I wouldn't care if my guy spent time in the gym unless he was spending all of it there. Admittedly I might try to change that but if I couldn't, then I would know he's not the one for me.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
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    Hey, in case no one has said this on this thread I'm just going to point out here the following:

    1) People here get upset if you generalize something. They aren't a fan of it, so when you generalize something, everyone is going to post on here they aren't fans of it.

    2) My guess is not all women are like that. I'm sure no one has said that in this thread so far, so I figured I'd say it here. You know, in case you didn't read the other 1.5 pages of posts.


    Oh damn! I just realized most of the posts on this thread said those exact things over and over! *sighs* I better go take my useful knowledge elsewhere.
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
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    Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately.
    You have probably just gotten unlucky. Unless you are dating hundreds of women, you probably don't really have a statistically valid sample . . . Maybe just the women in your area, or school, or profession, or ???

    I guess so, The people saying "girls" vs "girl" and me generalizing..... I am speaking about the last 3 girls I have dated. I referenced my current situation and not all 3 . . .

    I could understand if I was always "at the gym", "late for dinner" said stuff like "Sorry bro can't go for dinner I'm cutting" but I am no way like that at all!!!!!! it's really caught me off guard as this all came up last night and I am legit seriously upset right now.

    To reference the other 2 girls; one was Italian and couldn't grasp my gluten allergy and how I could not eat pasta..... unless it was gluten free... the gluten free part never got through her head... The other one challenged the gym and asked me to choose.... I still go to the gym end of story there. That girl was crazy to say the least.

    Thanks for all the feed back I am enjoying reading everyone's different views and appreciate it

    Brad
  • dazzer1975
    dazzer1975 Posts: 104 Member
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    That's not girls... That's your girl.

    Just break up.

    /thread.

    QFT

    it *was* my girl too though, not with the gym, I wasn't looking after myself then, but with everything, she was a controlling freak.

    Sounds like you bagged one yaself mate, it will only end one way, get out sooner rather than later to save yourself some pain and hassle.

    P.S. I just noticed your ticker:

    GOOD WORK SIR, but i encourage you to surround yoursef with positivity, not nagging whiney controlling *****es.

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