The Many Faces (selfie thread)

ReenieHJ

jennacole12 wrote: »

Just_Mel_ wrote: »

I'm glad I actually came into chit chat today to find this thread. Searching for a pic to post proved to be exhausting and fruitless, as I can't stand to see any pics of myself right now. I used to be heavily active on here 3-6 years ago starting shortly after my divorce and I used this place to help heal me and boost my broken self esteem. Some of yall remember my sarcastic, joking, flirty, posts and selfies (Banana selfie, anyone?? ). Some may not know/give AF who I am. I've pretty much disappeared because I've sunken into an old home of mine, a home of crippling depression and anxiety. I've tried and tried to "snap out of it". I'm at a point now of utter numbness. Just don't have feelings or energy to care about anything really other than going to work my 2 jobs, and try not to be a crap single mom. I'm the fattest I've ever been, dealing with health issues along with other every day life obstacles. Part of me is lonely for a mate, but I honestly don't feel I have anything leftover to offer anyone else. I'm stuck. Like in quick sand. I used to put on the happy face, and now I don't even have the energy for that.
I love yall. Even if I haven't been here in forever. I'm proud of all who have shared. We aren't alone, even when we desperately feel like it. Much love.
Here's a pic of my girl Barbara, because she can actually make me effortlessly happy.

I remember you and glad to see you back! I haven’t left the app but have left the forums until just recently, so I can relate. You are beautiful and just being here is one step closer to getting back some control and pull yourself out of the quicksand.... ❤️🙏🏻 Sending thoughts and prayers

I remember you as well, and your pup. When I found out her name was Barbara I thought that was such a cool name for a dog; mine both have girls' names too.

Anyways, sometimes staying connected and involved is one of the hardest things to do when a person feels so down and out but it's also one of the most important. It sounds like you have so much going on with 2 jobs and being a single mom. I can't imagine the stress and energy it takes to do all that needs to be done every day. I hope you're able to find time for yourself too. We all need that peace and calm to stay on course.
Take care of YOU and so glad to see your beautiful self and loving pup back.

jjpptt2

I rarely take pictures of myself anymore unless they somehow involve my dogs (this pic is actually my parents' dog)... and this is the most recent pic I have, from October.

I've struggled with self esteem for as long as I can remember, and depression almost as long. I've been in counseling/therapy a few times but never formally diagnosed... But like many things, you know depression when your see it. I've recently added an ED to the mix as well, so that's fun.

I don't have any story or moment for when things went south for me... I've never really known myself in any other way. I crave external validation / approval, but have little patience for people and push them away quickly... I'm sure that's partly why I took to online/social media like I did.

I don't think I'll ever be happy... I don't think I'm capable of it, so I no longer chase happiness, but rather distractions from the darkness. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but I'm I'm less destructive than I used to be, so...

CacoEther

jjpptt2 wrote: »

I rarely take pictures of myself anymore unless they somehow involve my dogs (this pic is actually my parents' dog)... and this is the most recent pic I have, from October.

I've struggled with self esteem for as long as I can remember, and depression almost as long. I've been in counseling/therapy a few times but never formally diagnosed... But like many things, you know depression when your see it. I've recently added an ED to the mix as well, so that's fun.

I don't have any story or moment for when things went south for me... I've never really known myself in any other way. I crave external validation / approval, but have little patience for people and push them away quickly... I'm sure that's partly why I took to online/social media like I did.

I don't think I'll ever be happy... I don't think I'm capable of it, so I no longer chase happiness, but rather distractions from the darkness. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but I'm I'm less destructive than I used to be, so...

Fwiw, this is a great photo. The beard looks good on you

and I’m a sucker for squinty eyes but that’s neither here nor there.

Thanks for sharing

Miss_Chiev0us_

Just_Mel_ wrote: »

I'm glad I actually came into chit chat today to find this thread. Searching for a pic to post proved to be exhausting and fruitless, as I can't stand to see any pics of myself right now. I used to be heavily active on here 3-6 years ago starting shortly after my divorce and I used this place to help heal me and boost my broken self esteem. Some of yall remember my sarcastic, joking, flirty, posts and selfies (Banana selfie, anyone?? ). Some may not know/give AF who I am. I've pretty much disappeared because I've sunken into an old home of mine, a home of crippling depression and anxiety. I've tried and tried to "snap out of it". I'm at a point now of utter numbness. Just don't have feelings or energy to care about anything really other than going to work my 2 jobs, and try not to be a crap single mom. I'm the fattest I've ever been, dealing with health issues along with other every day life obstacles. Part of me is lonely for a mate, but I honestly don't feel I have anything leftover to offer anyone else. I'm stuck. Like in quick sand. I used to put on the happy face, and now I don't even have the energy for that.
I love yall. Even if I haven't been here in forever. I'm proud of all who have shared. We aren't alone, even when we desperately feel like it. Much love.
Here's a pic of my girl Barbara, because she can actually make me effortlessly happy.

I love Barbara...and you ❤ thank you for sharing Mel. Big hugs

Just_Mel_

Again, I thank everyone for their very difficult to share contributions to this thread. We really need to normalize mental health issues and make safe places for each other to share and reach out. It doesn't fix things, but sometimes just knowing you're not the only one facing these scary things somehow helps.
Much love to everyone.

FeelinFooFoo

Just_Mel_ wrote: »

Again, I thank everyone for their very difficult to share contributions to this thread. We really need to normalize mental health issues and make safe places for each other to share and reach out. It doesn't fix things, but sometimes just knowing you're not the only one facing these scary things somehow helps.
Much love to everyone.

Couldn't agree more, here is to ending stigma around mental health.

Talking & listening, sharing does help. It doesn't fix everything, but it DOES end the isolation that can be prevalent with those of us who suffer (sometimes in silence).

Like you said, your not the only one, and your not alone ❤ and sometimes, that will help someone get through the day. To a hopefully, brighter tomorrow. 🙂

lisamestiza2021

MaltedTea wrote: »

CacoEther wrote: »

I told naughty @lisamestiza2021 that she was the sweetest and she disagreed 😆

Aww, Lisa's definitely not uncouth and she IS one of the sweetest. Glad you're back @lisamestiza2021!

merci MT

ExpressoLove11

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

I dont like to share much these days but wanted to show support for everyone here who has been brave and shared their story.
This picture, taken last June, is bittersweet for me. I was so ecstatically happy that day. I felt on top of the world. Which was amazing because I'd pulled myself up from rock bottom the year before. By the end of the next day I was broken again and I dont know that I've been unbroken since.

I don't know what caused me to remember this thread but... the black cloud seems to be lifting these past few weeks

MelG7777

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

I dont like to share much these days but wanted to show support for everyone here who has been brave and shared their story.
This picture, taken last June, is bittersweet for me. I was so ecstatically happy that day. I felt on top of the world. Which was amazing because I'd pulled myself up from rock bottom the year before. By the end of the next day I was broken again and I dont know that I've been unbroken since.

I don't know what caused me to remember this thread but... the black cloud seems to be lifting these past few weeks

I’m so happy they are! This is a really beautiful pic of you.

Miss_Chiev0us_

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

I dont like to share much these days but wanted to show support for everyone here who has been brave and shared their story.
This picture, taken last June, is bittersweet for me. I was so ecstatically happy that day. I felt on top of the world. Which was amazing because I'd pulled myself up from rock bottom the year before. By the end of the next day I was broken again and I dont know that I've been unbroken since.

I don't know what caused me to remember this thread but... the black cloud seems to be lifting these past few weeks

This makes me so happy ❤ it's never dark forever. Big hugs 🤗

ExpressoLove11

MelG7777 wrote: »

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

I dont like to share much these days but wanted to show support for everyone here who has been brave and shared their story.
This picture, taken last June, is bittersweet for me. I was so ecstatically happy that day. I felt on top of the world. Which was amazing because I'd pulled myself up from rock bottom the year before. By the end of the next day I was broken again and I dont know that I've been unbroken since.

I don't know what caused me to remember this thread but... the black cloud seems to be lifting these past few weeks

I’m so happy they are! This is a really beautiful pic of you.

Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

ExpressoLove11 wrote: »

I dont like to share much these days but wanted to show support for everyone here who has been brave and shared their story.
This picture, taken last June, is bittersweet for me. I was so ecstatically happy that day. I felt on top of the world. Which was amazing because I'd pulled myself up from rock bottom the year before. By the end of the next day I was broken again and I dont know that I've been unbroken since.

I don't know what caused me to remember this thread but... the black cloud seems to be lifting these past few weeks

This makes me so happy ❤ it's never dark forever. Big hugs 🤗

Aww thank you lovely ladies 🤗💕