WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2021

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  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 3,813 Member
    “Do you note down all expenditures ?
    Do you stick to a very tight budget?”

    Like Machka, I use my debit card for everything then log in Excel and compare to a budget I keep on Excel. I do all the finances and update DH when he insists on buying something useless.

    RvRita
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,632 Member
    Beth, Rori and Allie - sending all the good thoughts and support i can think of

    and hugs for everyone!

    Kim in N. California
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,193 Member
    edited February 2021
    I'm on a very tight budget for my own personal account because I have hardly any personal income. It's only used for personal presents, hair, teeth and makeup/toiletries. Or, in the old days, a trip out with a girlfriend. I don't keep any kind of track, because I look at my account statement a couple of times a week. At the moment I can't spend anything at all until some more money comes in.
    We have a joint account for our state pensions and most of the bills come out of that. DH pays a couple more bills from his personal accounts and pays for the car. I look at the joint account regularly as well. Webuy the same things every month and have the same bills on direct debit, so expenditure doesn't vary. Occasionally DH tops up the joint account from his private accounts. I have no access to them and it would be a problem if anything happened to him. I really need to persuade him to do POA. If he needed care I wouldn't have the money and no access to his. :sad: He is very resistant to POA. It would be jointly with one of his daughters
    If I have a big expenditure I have to go to savings, for example, a cruise. I also pay for house improvements on a one third basis. My savings are going down after four cruises. :o
    In my first marriage we shared our money and accounts and I had a small separate one.
    Because DH and I married later in life we have kept most of our money separate. I do have a list of all the accounts and I know vaguely how much he has. He has just given his younger daughter money towards her new apartment, which is her share of the preliminary pay out of our wills on first death. We need to write a codicil to the wills to say she has had it, but he doesn't seem in a hurry. I might do it myself and get him to sign. He is not altogether relaxed around money. :(
    He always says he was not brought up to spend money!

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,935 Member
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    dlfk202000 wrote: »

    First marriage I did all the bill paying and was very careful about what was spent, then he left and I really was careful. My big splurge was a kids hamburger at Mc.Donalds and that was maybe once a month(that was 30 yrs ago so they were less than $1 back then, but, I knew i could make a burger myself for less than that)-
    I still watch what I spend- tend to still be a saver even though I don't HAVE to be now.
    My current husband took over the bill paying about 5 yrs after we got married. He does all of it. I have no real idea about how much money goes out every month. I know I would change things some if I was the one doing it. Things that I think we could cut back on are things he seems to spend even more money on now but, because of the virus and him working a lot more hours every week and bringing more money in, I have not said anything. My income has not changed at all and his hours are at least doubled for now.(since March with no change back in sight).
    We have very few real bills- no mortgage and small car loan that he is paying double on every month on my car. We have insurances and true up bill for the PGE/Solar are the main ones then regular monthly- cable/internet which is way more than I think we should pay and he will not consider changing it unless it is to get even better/faster service. Extra money going into savings every month(financially we are doing good, couple wise, we are about bankrupt)
    I do have an account that he doesn't know about that I started many years ago, "just in case" that my mom knows about and the statements go to her house. After first hubby leaving me without notice, I have to do what ever I can to cover my butt.

    Debbie
    Thanks, i think i would be uneasy not seeing the accounts if my significant other was doing them. I'd want to check them out from time to time. That seems like a big deal about the secret account. Though i can understand needing to not share everything with other. (i think, if in a couple now, i would surely opt for separate accounts and one common one, but not secretly). My brother and his spouse are long and happily married, as far as i know, and he said his spouse, who is very responsible, and was and i also a good earner, had messy accounting, so they kept separate accounts, and he said, with humor, "and never the twain shall meet", though i'm guessing that may have evolved as they approach retirement. I can certainly understand wanting to cover for yourself. Do you think there is any hope going in getting out of the red and into the black couple-wise?

    I can relate about the minimalist splurges. After my parents split, when i was a teen, my mom had scantest of alimony after 25 years (having married in the period where it was frowned upon for a woman to keep working when the kids came along), just enough to barely get by on, and we would stop by a muffin chain called "pewter pot" and each get a tea, and split a hot blueberry muffin with butter, as our splurge, probably about 2 or 3 dollars for the whole deal, but a moment to be out and sit down and be served. There is something truly nice about those rare frugal splurges.

    Single in Paris i used to eat out about 1x a month for about 7 dollars.

    He tells me what is in each of the accounts and I can see what is written in the checking account ledger but I don't know what bills are paid online. Most accounts have both of our names on it- we set up as joint as soon as we got married. He kept his own account that was connected to a direct deposit he set up at work- $25 a week went into it- that is what his debt card is connected to. Most daily shopping like groceries or when he eats out comes from that. I am not sure if my name is on the account from his aunt when she passed. I know one is almost gone, the other still has a nice amount in it. I have my own saving that I set up when I was selling Tupperware and doing Mystery Shopping- Haven't done anything with that, it is just sitting there. That is connected to our regular banking that we have checking and savings. He knows about that. I also have a small one that I had to set up for our class reunion. I had to have a small account in my name in order to have one also in the classes name(I am in charge of the reunions). I have just started putting more into my account there and got my first debit card. I haven't use the card yet but it is there if I need it. Just keep putting more in. One day I will figure out what I want to buy for myself.He knows about that one. The only one he doesn't know about is the one I have that mom knows about.
    As for us getting out of the red couple wise, I don't know. I have tried, begged pretty much and he says he will work on it but just doesn't happen. Sept. will be 30 yrs married. He doesn't seem to think there is really much wrong with the way things are and I have gotten tired of begging and feel too old to start over again. Yes, things could be a lot better but , they could also be alot worse. I have just started doing little things that make me happy, like walking with a friend in the evenings or spending time with my mom.

    Debbie
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,935 Member
    auntiebk wrote: »
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: dogs to powerline, Post Office, prep breakfast for after blood tests tomorrow.
    Bonus: Stroll with C, T & Shadow, 30 mins vacuuming and light cleaning,
    Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, fast for blood tests, Dr’s office for annual ABI, balance, cognitive etc tests, Freddie’s for rx & bubble water, Farmers’ market, call S, call C, call R, start taxes, fire district: minutes, input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, call Credit union re: credit card, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; FM Cu, watch STAS Day 20, make experimental almond paste, declutter sideboard, practice new dances (Do Your Thing, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), A Little Less Broken, One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Nothing but You, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick); finish mulching flowerbed; broadcast cover crop seed in veg garden areas, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove. Reconcile Joe’s EOB’s Thrivent shows only 2263.48 so far, next BGBS ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, call Wild Rivers (541 247 3514) for dog wash/nail trim appointments.
    Reward: inventory seeds, plan next year’s garden, wishlist replenishments,
    Friendly February:
    16: Check in on someone who may be struggling: make those calls today!
    17: Respond kindly to everyone you talk to today, including yourself: especially!

    Oh what a difference a break in the rain makes in my attitude and step count!

    [
    Debbie I was really worried until I read about your “cover my butt” plan. Like Julie I’d be very very uneasy not seeing the accounts if my significant other was doing them. Do you have access to them?
    :confounded: 2/14: 141.5 2/21: 2/28
    mnthly: board mtg=1, grant=5 , 21 plan= bonus: AF=10 play=13 sew= waist=42.5
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW[/spoiler]

    yes, I have access to the accounts, at least most of them. The one that his debit card is linked to I do not and I am not sure if my name is on the accounts that were his aunt's.
    I started "covering my butt" when now former hubby first got out of the military- he had 8 different jobs during his first year out. Not knowing if he was going to come home and say he quit AGAIN, got me to where I knew I had to make sure our bills were paid- I was the one who made sure all bills were paid. I had to beings he was deployed so much.
    Debbie
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    I’ve been watching the weather channel. They seem to be focussed on TX. I have a personal friend who is living there with her son & his family. So far they are ok. We all have a fitnesspal friend in College Station, TX. Cheri, I hope you are safe & warm.

    Katla
  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,558 Member
    {Beth} That is outrageous. I can hardly believe it, but unfortunately it also doesn't surprise me. I am so sorry for your son, and your family, too, of course. He does deserve so much better.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,411 Member
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    lol

    .
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
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  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Beth ~ So very sorry and how heartbreaking that this keeps happening again and again. Prayers for you and your son!

    Carol in GA
  • sh0tzz99
    sh0tzz99 Posts: 945 Member
    Beth - So sorry for what your family is going through. It sounds like the management needs to go.

    Annie - You don't need the cookies. They aren't THAT good. :)

    To all those with cold temps, stay inside and warm!! We are having a warming trend, which is probably good news for the frozen of you. I'll send some sunshine east.

    Tina in CA
  • sh0tzz99
    sh0tzz99 Posts: 945 Member
    edited February 2021
    Accounts - Our accounts are separate. However, if we both retire, I will insist upon combining one that is for everyday use. Otherwise, I will not stop working. I never want to have to ask for money. I would have to ask (for bills) in that case and I won't put myself in that position. I also don't want to ask so I can buy a pair of shoes or a new cooking tool. Right now, money is not an issue in that way. If we want something and it's in budget, we just buy it.

    Tina in CA where I'm really sick of the little fruit flies all over the kitchen.
  • sh0tzz99
    sh0tzz99 Posts: 945 Member
    Budgets - We don't have one. We are fortunate to not have to watch our pennies, but I am also pretty frugal. I don't buy much unless it's food. I don't need more stuff. I spend the bulk of any disposable income on travel.

    That said, I check my bank and credit card accounts almost daily.

    Tina in CA
  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 1,329 Member
    Beth-that is unbelievable about your son. It is pure negligence. I do hope he is ok.

    Terri and Heather-I love some of the expressions you use!

    Julie-good job on the writing—keep it up!

    Machka-you really were prepared for divorce!

    Finances-I paid all the bills throughout our marriage. My husband often joked if he actually signed his check he would get picked up for forgery. Inside cleaning was primarily up to me (in part due to his work schedule). After he no longer worked, he did more of it. I still balance my checkbook and pay bills weekly. Don't do much with a budget. I research for the best deal on things, but if there is something I really want, I will get it.

    Bitter cold here today and they are expecting more snow tomorrow. Hopefully that will be the end of it until next year. I am looking forward to getting outside for walks afterwork since it is staying light longer. I enjoy the work I do at the gym, but being outside also lifts my spirits.

    Going to clean up kitchen since there is no one else to do it. Then will attend on-line service for Ash Wednesday. Want to wait until a couple of weeks after the second vaccine before I start doing more in-person stuff. Numbers for my county are looking much better. My county is second highest in the state for administering the vaccines started as percentage of population. We have about 18,500 who have at least started vaccine out of population of @134,000. Lots to go but they can only administer vaccine they have.

    Take care all,

    Ginny in Ohio
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,682 Member
    Evening ladies
    Another day of Dr appt,which we got lost. All these Drs are far away..
    Tomorrow into Friday we have snow coming.. bless Trudy,she took me over to Walmart for grocery pickup.. i havent gotten groceries since getting out of hospital.. so im set for a bit..
    I didnt catch what happened to Beths son. But i will be praying for him...
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,334 Member
    Did the 20-40-60 treadmill workout the rode the upright bike for ½ hour. I really couldn’t use that bike for my spinning workouts but that’s OK. I do find that in NC I can do cardio for 1 hr. However, down here I sweat so very much that I can only do ½ hr. The upright bike was more of a cool down than anything else.

    Then went to a dollar store (there are LOTS of them down here, like pharmacies and banks) then to Winn dixie. I remember last year they had good peaches so I got some. Also, got some teabags since they were 90% off. I think I might go back tomorrow for more. They did have other things on sale for 90% off but most things were totally wiped out. Things like shoelaces and shoe wax weren’t, tho. Update: the peaches are good

    Came home, had breakfast, now have a load of laundry in since it needs to be done and so far the weather looks like it’ll be nice tomorrow so I’ll want to go in the pool if it is. Of course, this is Florida, you’ll know what the weather is when it gets here.

    Debbie – safe travels to your mom’s

    Beth – I can barely believe what happened to your son. I would be livid, as I am sure you are Update: so glad to hear that your son is going to be OK….but still….it shouldn’t have been necessary (going to the ER) in the first place.

    Katla – you said that you thought “JR’smom” was afraid she would be sent away. Sent away from here? I don’t know anyone who would do something like that. What did you mean?

    Found out when I was leaving the exercise place that if I call them before we come down next year, they can reactivate my key card and I can exercise first thing in the morning when I get here. I wasn’t sure if they could. That’s what I might do. I am impressed with their cleanliness. Not a lot of cardio equipment but enough

    lisa – one way I knew that I never had COVID was that I could smell the litterbox. It was good for something….lol One time when we lived in the Poconos my hands were so dry they were bleeding. I tried everything in the book – and I do mean everything. Nothing worked. Then I remembered that my grandmother used to use pure glycerine on her hands and they never bled. I figured “can’t do any worse than the other things, might as well give that a try”. And it worked! The only thing that did. Talking about the finger cots, what Vince does sometimes is take a rubber glove and cut off the finger. It’s just that we happened to have some gloves in the house. Thanks for the smile

    Need to get dinner ready. We’re going to have fish today.

    M – I surely hope that med helps you. Are you anywhere near the underground fire?

    Avoided the temptation again to purchase some chocolate candies. Yea me. Went to WM to pick up a prescription. Got some frozen carrots for Vince, brownie mix for me to make more chocolate bran muffins (still need to get muffin tins and the oat bran, but I’ll get there) and frozen garlic bread

    Rebecca – glad I record “This is Us” Can’t wait to see it

    Annie – you are so right, cookies don’t do anything for you

    I have a separate “landscaping fund”. There is some landscaping that I want done and Vince doesn’t think it is necessary. So it’s going to get done. He was surprised the other day when I showed him how much I have in my account. And he couldn’t dispute it because I had a note there for what the money was used for and when it was added to. So there Mr. CPA!

    Boy, did the weatherman mess up today. They said it would be in the 70’s. There is NO WAY it’s in the 70’s. More like the 60’s (low) Heart goes out to all dealing with snow. Talk about global warming!

    Ginny OH -I feel the same way. When we get back, I probably won’t feel as apprehensive about going to church

    You know, time seems to go by so fast down here.

    Michele formerly NC

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