What irks you today?
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Apple.
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From itues...
Have multiple apple accounts? good luck. hahahhahaha...
Dear apple. Don't ever tell me what I want/like/need again. You're almost always wrong.
Android let's you make your own decisions.
I know. That's why I'm primarily an android guy, and not as well versed in the apple control mechanisms.0 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
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MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person.
Except with my kids and my dogs. 
3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person. Except with my kids and my dogs.
Every morning while we make our coffee, my husband asks if I’m going to come in for ‘the lean’, which is what he affectionately calls my type of hugs. I usually have my hands tucked in my sweatshirt and he opens his arms so I can lean against him for a minute while he more or less just props me up, then I pull away and say “ok I’m done”.
He gets me6 -
Shakashakara wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person. Except with my kids and my dogs.
Every morning while we make our coffee, my husband asks if I’m going to come in for ‘the lean’, which is what he affectionately calls my type of hugs. I usually have my hands tucked in my sweatshirt and he opens his arms so I can lean against him for a minute while he more or less just props me up, then I pull away and say “ok I’m done”.
He gets me
That's actually really, really sweet.
I think I'm more of a hugger than I give myself credit for but I also just hate when people get in my space...
Plus I don't see anyone other than coworkers and clients and the people in stores. I don't shy away from the hugs but I've known a lot of these people for over 15 years.
I DID take a 6 week massage extension course thingy in college tho. Best class (and only one I made it through) I ever took. We learned basic techniques and stuff and this was probably the only time I was ever popular in our dorm. It can be intimate (obviously) but also....not.
Kinda wish it was intimate with that one guy from Boston. He was cute. 3 -
I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
4 -
OpheliaCooter wrote: »I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
Please tell me you hug your cats
Please tell me you have cats1 -
Shakashakara wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person. Except with my kids and my dogs.
Every morning while we make our coffee, my husband asks if I’m going to come in for ‘the lean’, which is what he affectionately calls my type of hugs. I usually have my hands tucked in my sweatshirt and he opens his arms so I can lean against him for a minute while he more or less just props me up, then I pull away and say “ok I’m done”.
He gets me
That's actually really, really sweet.
I think I'm more of a hugger than I give myself credit for but I also just hate when people get in my space...
Plus I don't see anyone other than coworkers and clients and the people in stores. I don't shy away from the hugs but I've known a lot of these people for over 15 years.
I DID take a 6 week massage extension course thingy in college tho. Best class (and only one I made it through) I ever took. We learned basic techniques and stuff and this was probably the only time I was ever popular in our dorm. It can be intimate (obviously) but also....not.
Kinda wish it was intimate with that one guy from Boston. He was cute.
I wish i was a hugger. I wish i could comfortably go in for the hug and seem happy about it rather than awkward and petrified. It just feels so gosh darn intimate. I really struggle to make eye contact with people after hugging, even if it’s just a cousin. I usually laugh nervously and mumble something about being norwegian as if that has anything to do with anything 🤦🏼♀️
I do hug my kids though. They are both huggers, thank goodness. I’m glad they aren’t weirdos like their mom5 -
I'm not a hugger, either. I don't want you in my personal space and in most instances, I do not want to touch people, that includes my SO. It's been that way forever (so I know it's a "me" thing and nothing against my friends/family). There are moments where I have a change of heart, but it's not often.
My son though, I'll always accept a hug from him when he gives them to me.2 -
Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?0
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
For me? No, they are fine.3 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
Totally fine2 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
For me? No, they are fine.
Woohooo.. hugging the daylights out of ya 🤗
😂 Im just teasing, ya know that right ? 😄1 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
That's a good question because I feel like there are serial huggers around here.
It's a good, supportive feeling but I'm also still on the fence about the real life hugging thing.5 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
No, because they aren't actually touching me and I know they mean well.
Same with an actual hug; I don't find it offensive, it just makes me massively uncomfortable (and intrusive), but I know they mean well (aren't getting into my personal space to *make* me uncomfortable).
Like, find a way that doesn't involve touching me or being in my personal space to tell me you love/care for me.3 -
I'm a hugger but usually with specific people. I also give VERY good hugs when i'm about it. ALSO i've definately hugged a person or two in here that have said they're not huggers5
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CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »I'm a hugger but usually with specific people. I also give VERY good hugs when i'm about it. ALSO i've definately hugged a person or two in here that have said they're not huggers
with consent that is.3 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »OpheliaCooter wrote: »I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
Please tell me you hug your cats
Please tell me you have cats
I’m the most sickening cat lady. They are hugged too much and against their will. I tell them I bought them cash money and they’re on my property so they have to pay taxes (tolerate kisses and hugs)3 -
OpheliaCooter wrote: »I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
😘🤗
😱<- scared of hugs
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“Come let me love you!” as I hurl myself across the room at my favorite people who aren’t peopleOpheliaCooter wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »OpheliaCooter wrote: »I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
Please tell me you hug your cats
Please tell me you have cats
I’m the most sickening cat lady. They are hugged too much and against their will. I tell them I bought them cash money and they’re on my property so they have to pay taxes (tolerate kisses and hugs)
3 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
Completely different.
I feel RL hugs have an expectation following the act or maybe it's just the people I know. And growing up, my family weren't really huggers. My sister and I love each other and are close but hardly ever hug. I hug my kids. My dogs. Dh. The list is short. 2 -
CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »I'm a hugger but usually with specific people. I also give VERY good hugs when i'm about it. ALSO i've definately hugged a person or two in here that have said they're not huggersCaptainFantastic01 wrote: »CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »I'm a hugger but usually with specific people. I also give VERY good hugs when i'm about it. ALSO i've definately hugged a person or two in here that have said they're not huggers
with consent that is.
Its true
Edit: you’re uniquely huggable 🤔1 -
Shakashakara wrote: »CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »I'm a hugger but usually with specific people. I also give VERY good hugs when i'm about it. ALSO i've definately hugged a person or two in here that have said they're not huggersCaptainFantastic01 wrote: »CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »I'm a hugger but usually with specific people. I also give VERY good hugs when i'm about it. ALSO i've definately hugged a person or two in here that have said they're not huggers
with consent that is.
Its true
Edit: you’re uniquely huggable 🤔
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
Completely different.
I feel RL hugs have an expectation following the act or maybe it's just the people I know. And growing up, my family weren't really huggers. My sister and I love each other and are close but hardly ever hug. I hug my kids. My dogs. Dh. The list is short.
What kind of expectation?
Like cronuts?
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I fully enjoy massages of the shoulders, such as you can get at a mall kiosk. Full-body massages don't creep me out, but I can never fully relax during them, so their intended purpose is lost on me.
Back to the question of "what irks you today," I was quite bummed to get done with my leg workout and discover the hot tub was down for maintenance. At my age, time spent soaking in hot water is an essential part to any post- exercise recovery, especially on leg day. Hot showers help, but aren't the same.3 -
Still have DOMS from Monday. This is getting old because it's soon going to overlap with doms from yesterday and then I might as well stay in bed. 😂😭1
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I'm just about ok today, managed to walk downstairs normally instead of sideways 🤣
I still have a vivid memory of my high school days, one gym class spent introducing everybody to weight lifting (hated it at the time, who knew I'd grow to love it fifteen years later). Whoever designed the high school should be dragged out into the street and smacked with a limp spaghetti noodle, because they put the weight room on the second floor, while the locker rooms were in the basement. Everyone (other than the jocks) were a little wobbly going down the stairs after working legs, crowded together as high school students are wont to do, when my legs completely gave way beneath me and I collapsed forward into the person in front of me. Their weakened legs were unable to cope with the unexpected weight, so they in turn fell forward into the next person in line, and so on. Within moments a dozen kids were all sprawled across the stairs, wondering what on Earth just happened, while I wanted to crawl into my backpack and die of shame.4 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Still have DOMS from Monday. This is getting old because it's soon going to overlap with doms from yesterday and then I might as well stay in bed. 😂😭
I feel that I came to this conversation with a different understanding of the word "DOMS" and it's been a very confusing time4 -
Colleagues who add little but demand much.1
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@MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I was joking around! I’ve never hugged anyone that didn’t open up their arms. Most of the things I post here are meant to be taken lightly. Except when I post the food I prepare or my garden pics. Alright?😉👍🏽4
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