What irks you today?

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Replies

  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited November 2021
    Apple.

    Your payment has been declined.
    To update your payment information on devices running IOS 12.2 or later...
    On earlier devices...
    On PCs...
    From the app store...
    From itues...
    Have multiple apple accounts? good luck. hahahhahaha...

    Dear apple. Don't ever tell me what I want/like/need again. You're almost always wrong.
  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 2,994 Member
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”

    Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
    It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
    And I do mean extreme.
  • @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”

    Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
    It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
    And I do mean extreme.

    Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,230 Member
    edited November 2021
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.

    Edit…..maybe that’s not entirely true, my youngest 2 still hug me a lot. 🥰🥰
  • MelG7777 wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.

    Best I can do is virtual 🤗
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,230 Member
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.

    Best I can do is virtual 🤗

    Wanna exchange vids?
    x22ngb59fevp.gif
  • jjpptt2 wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”

    Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
    It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
    And I do mean extreme.

    Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input

    It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.

    It's also the reason I don't like massages.

    This makes sense to me. Thank you for explaining
  • MelG7777 wrote: »
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.

    Best I can do is virtual 🤗

    Wanna exchange vids?
    x22ngb59fevp.gif

    We talked about this
  • internationalplayboy
    internationalplayboy Posts: 188 Member
    edited November 2021
    I'm a hugger. Big time. My son is not. Big time. I have learned to ask him before I hug him, or even touch him. Sometimes, when he is hurting, it is painful to not pull him into my arms and try to comfort him. Thing is... It doesn't comfort him.... It comforts me at his expense. So if he is hurting, then I ask if he wants a hug. If he doesn't, then I say ok and hold back. Sometimes, on rare occasions, he does. And sometimes, when I am in pain or hurting he comes to me and offers me one.

    He almost always says yes to a foot rub tho, so he gets a LOT of foot hugs. Lol.

    Kind of a parallel thought to what you were saying.

    Personally, as a person who needs physical connection, I feel significantly hug and touch starved and sometimes I'm borderline depressed as a result. It's rough.

    My oldest boy is the same. And he was born that way. Every once in a while when I just can’t help myself I stick out one finger and touch his elbow or his toe for just a second so that some cosmic connection can be made. I don’t really believe in that stuff but he’s my first born, you know?

    Eta: I have his permission to do that
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Apple.

    Your payment has been declined.
    To update your payment information on devices running IOS 12.2 or later...
    On earlier devices...
    On PCs...
    From the app store...
    From itues...
    Have multiple apple accounts? good luck. hahahhahaha...

    Dear apple. Don't ever tell me what I want/like/need again. You're almost always wrong.

    Android let's you make your own decisions.
  • What a journey getting caught up on this thread had been

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be peeing while standing up

    Show off
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    glassyo wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Apple.

    Your payment has been declined.
    To update your payment information on devices running IOS 12.2 or later...
    On earlier devices...
    On PCs...
    From the app store...
    From itues...
    Have multiple apple accounts? good luck. hahahhahaha...

    Dear apple. Don't ever tell me what I want/like/need again. You're almost always wrong.

    Android let's you make your own decisions.

    I know. That's why I'm primarily an android guy, and not as well versed in the apple control mechanisms.
  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 2,994 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”

    Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
    It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
    And I do mean extreme.

    Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input

    It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.

    It's also the reason I don't like massages.

    Hard same.

    The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.

  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”

    Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
    It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
    And I do mean extreme.

    Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input

    It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.

    It's also the reason I don't like massages.

    Hard same.

    The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.

    Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
    Not a touchy feely kinda person. :( Except with my kids and my dogs. :)
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Huggers

    Is that why some people tense up when you cuddle them? I mean hug them against their will?😬😔 I thought if I kept hugging them, they would eventually learn to like it? Oh well, most people don’t seem to mind.😁🥰

    Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
    If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.

    There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.

    Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.

    I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?

    Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent

    I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”

    Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
    It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
    And I do mean extreme.

    Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input

    It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.

    It's also the reason I don't like massages.

    Hard same.

    The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.

    Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
    Not a touchy feely kinda person. :( Except with my kids and my dogs. :)

    Every morning while we make our coffee, my husband asks if I’m going to come in for ‘the lean’, which is what he affectionately calls my type of hugs. I usually have my hands tucked in my sweatshirt and he opens his arms so I can lean against him for a minute while he more or less just props me up, then I pull away and say “ok I’m done”.

    He gets me

    That's actually really, really sweet.

    I think I'm more of a hugger than I give myself credit for but I also just hate when people get in my space...

    Plus I don't see anyone other than coworkers and clients and the people in stores. I don't shy away from the hugs but I've known a lot of these people for over 15 years.

    I DID take a 6 week massage extension course thingy in college tho. Best class (and only one I made it through) I ever took. We learned basic techniques and stuff and this was probably the only time I was ever popular in our dorm. It can be intimate (obviously) but also....not.

    Kinda wish it was intimate with that one guy from Boston. He was cute. :)
  • OpheliaCooter
    OpheliaCooter Posts: 1,635 Member
    I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,230 Member
    I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.

    😘🤗
  • internationalplayboy
    internationalplayboy Posts: 188 Member
    edited November 2021
    I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.

    Please tell me you hug your cats

    Please tell me you have cats
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,230 Member
    I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.

    Please tell me you hug your cats

    Please tell me you have cats

    Her cats are magical.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    I'm not a hugger, either. I don't want you in my personal space and in most instances, I do not want to touch people, that includes my SO. It's been that way forever (so I know it's a "me" thing and nothing against my friends/family). There are moments where I have a change of heart, but it's not often.

    My son though, I'll always accept a hug from him when he gives them to me.
  • KickassAmazon76
    KickassAmazon76 Posts: 4,678 Member
    Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?

    For me? No, they are fine.
  • Sofiapilla
    Sofiapilla Posts: 284 Member
    Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?

    Totally fine
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    edited November 2021
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?

    For me? No, they are fine.

    Woohooo.. hugging the daylights out of ya 🤗

    😂 Im just teasing, ya know that right ? 😄