What irks you today?
Replies
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Apple.
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On earlier devices...
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Have multiple apple accounts? good luck. hahahhahaha...
Dear apple. Don't ever tell me what I want/like/need again. You're almost always wrong.2 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.4 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input1 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.
Edit…..maybe that’s not entirely true, my youngest 2 still hug me a lot. 🥰🥰3 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.
Best I can do is virtual 🤗1 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.
Best I can do is virtual 🤗
Wanna exchange vids?
2 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.6 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
This makes sense to me. Thank you for explaining0 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I’m a hugger. And I’m touched starved. I accidentally kept hugging my elderly neighbor a few years ago when her husband was dying.
Best I can do is virtual 🤗
Wanna exchange vids?
We talked about this1 -
I'm a hugger. Big time. My son is not. Big time. I have learned to ask him before I hug him, or even touch him. Sometimes, when he is hurting, it is painful to not pull him into my arms and try to comfort him. Thing is... It doesn't comfort him.... It comforts me at his expense. So if he is hurting, then I ask if he wants a hug. If he doesn't, then I say ok and hold back. Sometimes, on rare occasions, he does. And sometimes, when I am in pain or hurting he comes to me and offers me one.
He almost always says yes to a foot rub tho, so he gets a LOT of foot hugs. Lol.
Kind of a parallel thought to what you were saying.
Personally, as a single person who needs physical connection, I feel significantly hug and touch starved and sometimes I'm borderline depressed as a result. It's rough.
Eta... I can totally understand those people who stand on the street and offer free hugs. I've debated doing it myself! Lol
5 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I'm a hugger. Big time. My son is not. Big time. I have learned to ask him before I hug him, or even touch him. Sometimes, when he is hurting, it is painful to not pull him into my arms and try to comfort him. Thing is... It doesn't comfort him.... It comforts me at his expense. So if he is hurting, then I ask if he wants a hug. If he doesn't, then I say ok and hold back. Sometimes, on rare occasions, he does. And sometimes, when I am in pain or hurting he comes to me and offers me one.
He almost always says yes to a foot rub tho, so he gets a LOT of foot hugs. Lol.
Kind of a parallel thought to what you were saying.
Personally, as a person who needs physical connection, I feel significantly hug and touch starved and sometimes I'm borderline depressed as a result. It's rough.
My oldest boy is the same. And he was born that way. Every once in a while when I just can’t help myself I stick out one finger and touch his elbow or his toe for just a second so that some cosmic connection can be made. I don’t really believe in that stuff but he’s my first born, you know?
Eta: I have his permission to do that2 -
What a journey getting caught up on this thread had been
If anyone needs me, I’ll be peeing while standing up6 -
Apple.
Your payment has been declined.
To update your payment information on devices running IOS 12.2 or later...
On earlier devices...
On PCs...
From the app store...
From itues...
Have multiple apple accounts? good luck. hahahhahaha...
Dear apple. Don't ever tell me what I want/like/need again. You're almost always wrong.
Android let's you make your own decisions.4 -
Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz wrote: »What a journey getting caught up on this thread had been
If anyone needs me, I’ll be peeing while standing up
Show off4 -
Apple.
Your payment has been declined.
To update your payment information on devices running IOS 12.2 or later...
On earlier devices...
On PCs...
From the app store...
From itues...
Have multiple apple accounts? good luck. hahahhahaha...
Dear apple. Don't ever tell me what I want/like/need again. You're almost always wrong.
Android let's you make your own decisions.
I know. That's why I'm primarily an android guy, and not as well versed in the apple control mechanisms.0 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
0 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person.
Except with my kids and my dogs. 
3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person. Except with my kids and my dogs.
Every morning while we make our coffee, my husband asks if I’m going to come in for ‘the lean’, which is what he affectionately calls my type of hugs. I usually have my hands tucked in my sweatshirt and he opens his arms so I can lean against him for a minute while he more or less just props me up, then I pull away and say “ok I’m done”.
He gets me6 -
Shakashakara wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person. Except with my kids and my dogs.
Every morning while we make our coffee, my husband asks if I’m going to come in for ‘the lean’, which is what he affectionately calls my type of hugs. I usually have my hands tucked in my sweatshirt and he opens his arms so I can lean against him for a minute while he more or less just props me up, then I pull away and say “ok I’m done”.
He gets me
That's actually really, really sweet.
I think I'm more of a hugger than I give myself credit for but I also just hate when people get in my space...
Plus I don't see anyone other than coworkers and clients and the people in stores. I don't shy away from the hugs but I've known a lot of these people for over 15 years.
I DID take a 6 week massage extension course thingy in college tho. Best class (and only one I made it through) I ever took. We learned basic techniques and stuff and this was probably the only time I was ever popular in our dorm. It can be intimate (obviously) but also....not.
Kinda wish it was intimate with that one guy from Boston. He was cute. 3 -
I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
4 -
OpheliaCooter wrote: »I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
😘🤗1 -
OpheliaCooter wrote: »I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
Please tell me you hug your cats
Please tell me you have cats1 -
internationalplayboy wrote: »OpheliaCooter wrote: »I’m not a hugger because it’s too intimate. My SOs get drowned in hugs. Everyone else, it just seems weird.
Please tell me you hug your cats
Please tell me you have cats
Her cats are magical.2 -
Shakashakara wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »internationalplayboy wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Ironwoman1111 wrote: »
Yes. It is exactly why some people tense up.
If people don’t like being hugged it is polite not to hug them without consent. And even with consent some people will still tense up when hugged.
There are many reasons for this reaction. And no, most of us don’t “eventually learn to like it” What we learn to do it put up with it until it’s over (this is a type of masking). But it really truly is not wanted by more people than you might expect. And for some of us physical pain is part of the issue.
Anyhow. Consent. It’s a really good idea.
I’m not much of a hugger myself these days but I am curious if self-proclaimed non-huggers ever get “touch starved.“ Is that even a real thing?
Eta: And of course I agree with you about consent
I can (mostly) only speak for myself about being “touch starved”
Kind of? But only for the touch of loved and extremely close companions.
It takes an extreme level of trust for me to feel comfortable hugging someone.
And I do mean extreme.
Thank you. I was wondering about that. Whether or not people who are not huggers are completely averse to touching or if it’s just a more intimate thing for them. Of course I know everybody is different. Thanks for the input
It's not an aversion to touching (contact)... it's an intimacy thing. Some people can be there, some can't. Unfortunately most don't realize what they are doing. And like so many things, societal norms generally dictate who is "right". As such, I keep getting hugged. But I keep not liking it.
It's also the reason I don't like massages.
Hard same.
The thought of a massage from a stranger skeeves me out completely.
Me too. Same with manicures and pedicures. And to enjoy hugs I need to really care about, be drawn to, and as was mentioned, trust the person. I'm not an acquaintance hugger at all.
Not a touchy feely kinda person. Except with my kids and my dogs.
Every morning while we make our coffee, my husband asks if I’m going to come in for ‘the lean’, which is what he affectionately calls my type of hugs. I usually have my hands tucked in my sweatshirt and he opens his arms so I can lean against him for a minute while he more or less just props me up, then I pull away and say “ok I’m done”.
He gets me
That's actually really, really sweet.
I think I'm more of a hugger than I give myself credit for but I also just hate when people get in my space...
Plus I don't see anyone other than coworkers and clients and the people in stores. I don't shy away from the hugs but I've known a lot of these people for over 15 years.
I DID take a 6 week massage extension course thingy in college tho. Best class (and only one I made it through) I ever took. We learned basic techniques and stuff and this was probably the only time I was ever popular in our dorm. It can be intimate (obviously) but also....not.
Kinda wish it was intimate with that one guy from Boston. He was cute.
I wish i was a hugger. I wish i could comfortably go in for the hug and seem happy about it rather than awkward and petrified. It just feels so gosh darn intimate. I really struggle to make eye contact with people after hugging, even if it’s just a cousin. I usually laugh nervously and mumble something about being norwegian as if that has anything to do with anything 🤦🏼♀️
I do hug my kids though. They are both huggers, thank goodness. I’m glad they aren’t weirdos like their mom5 -
I'm not a hugger, either. I don't want you in my personal space and in most instances, I do not want to touch people, that includes my SO. It's been that way forever (so I know it's a "me" thing and nothing against my friends/family). There are moments where I have a change of heart, but it's not often.
My son though, I'll always accept a hug from him when he gives them to me.2 -
Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?0
-
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
For me? No, they are fine.3 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
Totally fine2 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
For me? No, they are fine.
Woohooo.. hugging the daylights out of ya 🤗
😂 Im just teasing, ya know that right ? 😄1 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Curious... for those who aren't huggers... when someone online says *sending you hugs* - does that feel offensive/intrusive? Or are virtual hugs different?
That's a good question because I feel like there are serial huggers around here.
It's a good, supportive feeling but I'm also still on the fence about the real life hugging thing.5
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