Guess What was on my Kid's School Shopping List

mycrazy8splus1

Oh. You're "that mom."

Nothing to see here and nothing to say here, other than that I feel sorry for your kid, and your kid's teachers.

What's "That Mom"????

The definition is somewhat elastic, but generally "That Mom" is someone difficult to be around because she exudes that unpleasant combination of constant, usually unwarranted, worry about not being a good parent, and harsh judgment of other parents (to assuage the constant worry). Anything that happens that isn't absolutely optimal in her mind for her child elicits over-reaction, because they parent from a place of negativity and fear. Kid eats a cupcake at school = won't get into Vassar. That's hyperbole but you get me. That whole Mommy Wars garbage a few years back was a result of this mindset.

Sad thing is, having a kid can be a total blast a great deal of the time if people would just stop freaking out about whether or not every single thing is absolutely perfect to completely ensure their child's total success. We're giving a bunch of kids anxiety issues by the time they reach second grade because...

...nevermind. People either already see what I mean or they don't. I'm not going to change anyone's mind.

^excellent!

stealthq

IIT: A bunch of people who make me glad I'm never having kids and so won't have to deal with other parents. You can't even let kids have candy every now and then or birthday treats without people freaking out, damn. You helicopter types are why we can't have nice things.

Amen.

Amen x 2!!!

Its so funny to see all these parents freaking out haha

:drinker:

x3

It made me really sad when the district decided we couldn't have birthday treats any more. My mom used to bake a cupcake for every kid in my homeroom and the teacher and bring them in for us. We'd have a little party at lunchtime, teacher included. It was awesome.

I will say I never got candy as a school reward, though. We got fancy pens and pencils, or a gold star.

doughnutwretch

As far as the candy. No not cool.

But I send my kid with the supplies on the list and we mark our name on all of it. I also include a note to the teacher that says

"These supplies are for MY kid and my kid alone. My child knows that if they run out, they are to let me know and I'll supply more. If my child is out of a particular supply needed for that day, unfortunately my child will not participate."

I refuse to pay for someone who is simply too lazy to provide their own child's school supplies, and I understand it's not your fault that the school doesn't provide teachers with the necessary tools to run the classroom, but poor planning on schools and deadbeat parent's part does not constitute a handout from my pocket"

I do feel bad for those kids that are made to walk to school with no backpack, or school supplies, dirty clothes and no food in thier tummies, I really do, but there are resources out there. We have to stop letting these parents get away with doing this to thier children.

Huh. I feel bad for those kids too, so we always buy extra school supplies with a note to the teacher that says: "These supplies are for you to add to your stash for kids who come to school in need, because we're all a part of this community and we're in this together."

But your approach is nice too. *shudder*

So glad there are some good people.

BeachIron

Oh. You're "that mom."

Nothing to see here and nothing to say here, other than that I feel sorry for your kid, and your kid's teachers.

What's "That Mom"????

The definition is somewhat elastic, but generally "That Mom" is someone difficult to be around because she exudes that unpleasant combination of constant, usually unwarranted, worry about not being a good parent, and harsh judgment of other parents (to assuage the constant worry). Anything that happens that isn't absolutely optimal in her mind for her child elicits over-reaction, because they parent from a place of negativity and fear. Kid eats a cupcake at school = won't get into Vassar. That's hyperbole but you get me. That whole Mommy Wars garbage a few years back was a result of this mindset.

Sad thing is, having a kid can be a total blast a great deal of the time if people would just stop freaking out about whether or not every single thing is absolutely perfect to completely ensure their child's total success. We're giving a bunch of kids anxiety issues by the time they reach second grade because...

...nevermind. People either already see what I mean or they don't. I'm not going to change anyone's mind.

^ Excellent definition.

The one I was using was this:

The mom who stresses every little detail, thinks sugar is going to kill her kids and finds a replacement for every treat possible (and often sends a note to birthday parties noting that little Johnny shouldn't be allowed to eat the cake), asks the pediatrician at every visit if her kid has the latest fad illness, is convinced that rough housing will result in future violent behavior, considers the educational benefit over every toy the kid has ever played with, etc. You can identify them by the eye rolling that goes on among the other parents anytime that they are present. Other indications are objections to holidays like Halloween, and buying anything to drop in kid's trick-or-treat bags but candy.

Please understand that I have friends with kids with all sorts of real afflictions and a few real allergies, and I sympathize with them, what I'm talking about is the mom who seems to always be one step away from Munchausen syndrome. Having my kid at an expensive private school for a few years means that I've met several of them. Never again.

Let kids be kids. Push them, encourage them, make sure they hear the word "no" often, get them active and into sports, hound them to brush their teeth, and for god's sake let them eat cake.

marsellient

What exactly are our taxes covering since we also have to provide all the supplies for the classrooms? My son is now grown but I was appalled at what was we were required to provide for the classroom when he was in school.

Mostly teacher's salaries, benefits, and pensions(depending on the school. Also utilities, building maintenance, support staff, administration, etc.

Mostly administration salaries...not teachers.

And the way society is going, insurance.

I will have to check my numbers, but 80% of LAUSD's budget is teacher compensation. While admins may be paid more than teachers, I cannot imagine that line item is higher than the teacher line item.

I would certainly hope that teachers' salaries are most of the budget, considering they are the ones who do the work! Pretty hard to have a school without them, although it seems that there is a constant effort to do just that.

As for the OP and responses, the conversation seems to be muddied a bit by the various places we are from. As a teacher in Ontario, Canada, we didn't used to send home any list. The school had a supply budget for consumables. Over the years that budget was reduced considerably and the lists started to go home. I always found that kids (gr. 7&8) showed up at the beginning of the school year with way too much stuff, much of it unnecessary. I always kept a supply of pencils and pens to lend, but required collateral so that I'd get them back, otherwise they'd more than likely be left all over the place. If I'm not mistaken, here the school board is still supposed to supply basics.

I did spend considerable amounts of my own money on classroom materials, but we weren't allowed to openly bring in cleaning supplies. I grew to love microfibre cleaning cloths! There wasn't a tax deduction for teachers until quite recently and I don't think it's worth much.

stealthq

What exactly are our taxes covering since we also have to provide all the supplies for the classrooms? My son is now grown but I was appalled at what was we were required to provide for the classroom when he was in school.

Mostly teacher's salaries, benefits, and pensions(depending on the school. Also utilities, building maintenance, support staff, administration, etc.

In the school district where I currently live, your taxes would go to pay for the administration's little OOPSes.

You know - "OOPS, I seem to have misplaced that 50 million dollars. Wherever could it have gone?" Or, "OOPS, we seem to be paying our superintendent double the highest salary for a superintendent in any other county in the nation! How did that happen?"

Gee, I wonder why my property taxes are going up and the teachers are still underpaid.

ETA: spelling & punctuation

Rei1988

Oh. You're "that mom."

Nothing to see here and nothing to say here, other than that I feel sorry for your kid, and your kid's teachers.

What's "That Mom"????

The definition is somewhat elastic, but generally "That Mom" is someone difficult to be around because she exudes that unpleasant combination of constant, usually unwarranted, worry about not being a good parent, and harsh judgment of other parents (to assuage the constant worry). Anything that happens that isn't absolutely optimal in her mind for her child elicits over-reaction, because they parent from a place of negativity and fear. Kid eats a cupcake at school = won't get into Vassar. That's hyperbole but you get me. That whole Mommy Wars garbage a few years back was a result of this mindset.

Sad thing is, having a kid can be a total blast a great deal of the time if people would just stop freaking out about whether or not every single thing is absolutely perfect to completely ensure their child's total success. We're giving a bunch of kids anxiety issues by the time they reach second grade because...

...nevermind. People either already see what I mean or they don't. I'm not going to change anyone's mind.

^ Excellent definition.

The one I was using was this:

The mom who stresses every little detail, thinks sugar is going to kill her kids and finds a replacement for every treat possible (and often sends a note to birthday parties noting that little Johnny shouldn't be allowed to eat the cake), asks the pediatrician at every visit if her kid has the latest fad illness, is convinced that rough housing will result in future violent behavior, considers the educational benefit over every toy the kid has ever played with, etc. You can identify them by the eye rolling that goes on among the other parents anytime that they are present. Other indications are objections to holidays like Halloween, and buying anything to drop in kid's trick-or-treat bags but candy.

Please understand that I have friends with kids with all sorts of real afflictions and a few real allergies, and I sympathize with them, what I'm talking about is the mom who seems to always be one step away from Munchausen syndrome. Having my kid at an expensive private school for a few years means that I've met several of them. Never again.

Let kids be kids. Push them, encourage them, make sure they hear the word "no" often, get them active and into sports, hound them to brush their teeth, and for god's sake let them eat cake.

I agree with letting the kids be kids. Still think requesting candy is silly but, can't win 'em all.

_chiaroscuro

The mom who stresses every little detail, thinks sugar is going to kill her kids and finds a replacement for every treat possible (and often sends a note to birthday parties noting that little Johnny shouldn't be allowed to eat the cake), asks the pediatrician at every visit if her kid has the latest fad illness, is convinced that rough housing will result in future violent behavior, considers the educational benefit over every toy the kid has ever played with, etc. You can identify them by the eye rolling that goes on among the other parents anytime that they are present. Other indications are objections to holidays like Halloween, and buying anything to drop in kid's trick-or-treat bags but candy.

Please understand that I have friends with kids with all sorts of real afflictions and a few real allergies, and I sympathize with them, what I'm talking about is the mom who seems to always be one step away from Munchausen syndrome. Having my kid at an expensive private school for a few years means that I've met several of them. Never again.

Let kids be kids. Push them, encourage them, make sure they hear the word "no" often, get them active and into sports, hound them to brush their teeth, and for god's sake let them eat cake.

YES!! We experienced the same thing at a posh private preschool too. The vast majority of parents fretted like this, and were some of the most joyless people I've ever met. Your kids are lucky to have you.:flowerforyou:

whierd

Oh. You're "that mom."

Nothing to see here and nothing to say here, other than that I feel sorry for your kid, and your kid's teachers.

What's "That Mom"????

The definition is somewhat elastic, but generally "That Mom" is someone difficult to be around because she exudes that unpleasant combination of constant, usually unwarranted, worry about not being a good parent, and harsh judgment of other parents (to assuage the constant worry). Anything that happens that isn't absolutely optimal in her mind for her child elicits over-reaction, because they parent from a place of negativity and fear. Kid eats a cupcake at school = won't get into Vassar. That's hyperbole but you get me. That whole Mommy Wars garbage a few years back was a result of this mindset.

Sad thing is, having a kid can be a total blast a great deal of the time if people would just stop freaking out about whether or not every single thing is absolutely perfect to completely ensure their child's total success. We're giving a bunch of kids anxiety issues by the time they reach second grade because...

...nevermind. People either already see what I mean or they don't. I'm not going to change anyone's mind.

^ Excellent definition.

The one I was using was this:

The mom who stresses every little detail, thinks sugar is going to kill her kids and finds a replacement for every treat possible (and often sends a note to birthday parties noting that little Johnny shouldn't be allowed to eat the cake), asks the pediatrician at every visit if her kid has the latest fad illness, is convinced that rough housing will result in future violent behavior, considers the educational benefit over every toy the kid has ever played with, etc. You can identify them by the eye rolling that goes on among the other parents anytime that they are present. Other indications are objections to holidays like Halloween, and buying anything to drop in kid's trick-or-treat bags but candy.

Please understand that I have friends with kids with all sorts of real afflictions and a few real allergies, and I sympathize with them, what I'm talking about is the mom who seems to always be one step away from Munchausen syndrome. Having my kid at an expensive private school for a few years means that I've met several of them. Never again.

Let kids be kids. Push them, encourage them, make sure they hear the word "no" often, get them active and into sports, hound them to brush their teeth, and for god's sake let them eat cake.

Just have my babies already.

HeinekenMan

I'm not sure there's much I can say that hasn't already been said at this point in the conversation. But I'll offer my thoughts anyway.

1. It's great that parents are vigilant about protecting their children and concerned about their nutrition and health. But candy is not evil. I'm going to guess that Oprah WInfrey, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates and Albert Einstein all ate candy now and then. They turned out just fine.

2. If you're educating your kids about proper nutrition and moderation, they're going to develop good eating habits. They're not going to start eating bags of chocolate every night because the teacher gave them two gummy worms at school.

3. If your kids brush their teeth twice a day, they're not going to have cavities. And a few pieces of candy isn't going to change that fact.

4. Teachers SHOULD give positive reinforcement. It works. Studies will support this, and I know that it works wonders in my wife's classroom. It's not because kids just want stuff and won't do anything unless they get rewarded. It's because rewarding kids shows that you care about their SUCCESS. When kids know that the teacher cares, they focus and work harder. My wife has the highest scores on state tests in her department every year. She has been at the top at two different schools. It's not because she's extremely intelligent. It's not even because she's a better teacher. It's because she's likable. Students want to do well in her class. For some kids, she's like a second mother. For some, she's the only person in their lives who pays any attention to them and the only person who believes in their abilities and respects them. The rewards she gives create a pathway to mutual respect. Once that's established, the kids are inspired.

5. If kids are doing well in school and part of it is because the teacher is giving them a little candy, outrage seems unnecessary.

6. Teachers these days often buy all of their own teaching tools. I'm not just talking about pens and markers. I'm talking about 30 copies of a book that the school district won't buy, dozens of writing journals for the kids who don't have one, and, in some cases, $5-$10 a week for kids who need a big lunch because they won't have any dinner at home and kids who can't afford laundry detergent to clean their stinky clothes and kids who need money for shampoo or for a new pair of shoes. Teachers empty their pockets for kids all the time. Asking parents to provide a $3 bag of candy once or twice a year is a small request.

mycrazy8splus1

Oh. You're "that mom."

Nothing to see here and nothing to say here, other than that I feel sorry for your kid, and your kid's teachers.

What's "That Mom"????

The definition is somewhat elastic, but generally "That Mom" is someone difficult to be around because she exudes that unpleasant combination of constant, usually unwarranted, worry about not being a good parent, and harsh judgment of other parents (to assuage the constant worry). Anything that happens that isn't absolutely optimal in her mind for her child elicits over-reaction, because they parent from a place of negativity and fear. Kid eats a cupcake at school = won't get into Vassar. That's hyperbole but you get me. That whole Mommy Wars garbage a few years back was a result of this mindset.

Sad thing is, having a kid can be a total blast a great deal of the time if people would just stop freaking out about whether or not every single thing is absolutely perfect to completely ensure their child's total success. We're giving a bunch of kids anxiety issues by the time they reach second grade because...

...nevermind. People either already see what I mean or they don't. I'm not going to change anyone's mind.

^ Excellent definition.

The one I was using was this:

The mom who stresses every little detail, thinks sugar is going to kill her kids and finds a replacement for every treat possible (and often sends a note to birthday parties noting that little Johnny shouldn't be allowed to eat the cake), asks the pediatrician at every visit if her kid has the latest fad illness, is convinced that rough housing will result in future violent behavior, considers the educational benefit over every toy the kid has ever played with, etc. You can identify them by the eye rolling that goes on among the other parents anytime that they are present. Other indications are objections to holidays like Halloween, and buying anything to drop in kid's trick-or-treat bags but candy.

Please understand that I have friends with kids with all sorts of real afflictions and a few real allergies, and I sympathize with them, what I'm talking about is the mom who seems to always be one step away from Munchausen syndrome. Having my kid at an expensive private school for a few years means that I've met several of them. Never again.

Let kids be kids. Push them, encourage them, make sure they hear the word "no" often, get them active and into sports, hound them to brush their teeth, and for god's sake let them eat cake.

that's a good definition as well!

ketoambahh

A lot of kids already don't pay attention in school. The artificial dyes in the candies is just going to make it worse.

BeachIron

The mom who stresses every little detail, thinks sugar is going to kill her kids and finds a replacement for every treat possible (and often sends a note to birthday parties noting that little Johnny shouldn't be allowed to eat the cake), asks the pediatrician at every visit if her kid has the latest fad illness, is convinced that rough housing will result in future violent behavior, considers the educational benefit over every toy the kid has ever played with, etc. You can identify them by the eye rolling that goes on among the other parents anytime that they are present. Other indications are objections to holidays like Halloween, and buying anything to drop in kid's trick-or-treat bags but candy.

Please understand that I have friends with kids with all sorts of real afflictions and a few real allergies, and I sympathize with them, what I'm talking about is the mom who seems to always be one step away from Munchausen syndrome. Having my kid at an expensive private school for a few years means that I've met several of them. Never again.

Let kids be kids. Push them, encourage them, make sure they hear the word "no" often, get them active and into sports, hound them to brush their teeth, and for god's sake let them eat cake.

YES!! We experienced the same thing at a posh private preschool too. The vast majority of parents fretted like this, and were some of the most joyless people I've ever met. Your kids are lucky to have you.:flowerforyou:

And yours, you.

I'm actually relieved to have my oldest in an "A" rated public school these days.

SStruthers13

First of all, if your child is eating tons of junk it's your fault. My kids did not eat tons of junk because I said no. I'm not saying they didn't eat junk. I'm saying they didn't have a lot. I, as the responsible adult, made that decision for them, they were my kids, they didn't get what was bad for them. Candy is not a core subjects at school. Your kids do not need it at school.

If you do not wish your child to have junk at school tell the teacher not to give it to them. I personally feel rewarding children for schoolwork with candy instead of praise and the satisfaction of achievement is training them to have unrealistic expectations as to what life is about. Perhaps speaking to the school principal instead of us, who know how bad candy is, is the best course of action.

_chiaroscuro

The mom who stresses every little detail, thinks sugar is going to kill her kids and finds a replacement for every treat possible (and often sends a note to birthday parties noting that little Johnny shouldn't be allowed to eat the cake), asks the pediatrician at every visit if her kid has the latest fad illness, is convinced that rough housing will result in future violent behavior, considers the educational benefit over every toy the kid has ever played with, etc. You can identify them by the eye rolling that goes on among the other parents anytime that they are present. Other indications are objections to holidays like Halloween, and buying anything to drop in kid's trick-or-treat bags but candy.

Please understand that I have friends with kids with all sorts of real afflictions and a few real allergies, and I sympathize with them, what I'm talking about is the mom who seems to always be one step away from Munchausen syndrome. Having my kid at an expensive private school for a few years means that I've met several of them. Never again.

Let kids be kids. Push them, encourage them, make sure they hear the word "no" often, get them active and into sports, hound them to brush their teeth, and for god's sake let them eat cake.

YES!! We experienced the same thing at a posh private preschool too. The vast majority of parents fretted like this, and were some of the most joyless people I've ever met. Your kids are lucky to have you.:flowerforyou:

And yours, you.

I'm actually relieved to have my oldest in an "A" rated public school these days.

Dawww thanks. Luckily we found a good one too. Racially, religiously and economically diverse, rigorous academics, and the place is like a big warm hug every time we walk in. Night and day from where we were.

cheryleosborne

My 3rd grade son switched this year from a very small private school to an average size public school. His school supply list was what I consider normal at private school. Nothing extravagant, basically what a kid would need. This year for public school he had to bring a ridiculous amount of pencils, paper, Kleenex, Clorox wipes, etc. I know there is no way my one kid will use all of the pencils he was required to bring - we are obviously helping out the kids who bring nothing.

HOWEVER - I don't mind. I consider myself fortunate that we are able to supply our child with what he needs, and am willing and glad to help out the little kid sitting next to him whose parents either can't afford or won't get him what he needs. It's not the kid's fault, he has absolutely no control. Even though I am not responsible for those kids, I want my son to learn that being generous and taking care of others is our responsibility.

It sounds preachy and self-righteous I know, but the system is not going to change, and people are still going to have kids and not take proper care of them or provide for them. If you saw a hungry kid and could afford to buy him a sandwich - wouldn't you? Why not make things a little easier for others when you can?

As for the candy issue - I would not necessarily be in favor of handing out candy at school, and I would rather he get stickers or whatever. But it's not going to kill him, and cavities and obesity are parental responsibilities that should be managed with proper education AT HOME.

too_much_hmm

I wonder what the graph looks like if we compared how many supplies parents send to school vs performance. I wonder if candy improves performance or maybe it improves self esteem, something else very important.

Facts we know:

Sugar causes cavities. (not poor dental hygiene like many people mistakenly believe)
Teachers are underpaid (hence the need for parents to provide everything despite the fact that they already pay taxes)
There are too many students in each class (which is why kids aren't doing as well even though classroom size is at an all time low)

Any other facts we need be aware of as well informed parents?

whierd

I wonder what the graph looks like if we compared how many supplies parents send to school vs performance. I wonder if candy improves performance or maybe it improves self esteem, something else very important.

Facts we know:

Sugar causes cavities. (not poor dental hygiene like many people mistakenly believe)
Teachers are underpaid (hence the need for parents to provide everything despite the fact that they already pay taxes)
There are too many students in each class (which is why kids aren't doing as well even though classroom size is at an all time low)

Any other facts we need be aware of as well informed parents?

I dont think you understand what a fact is.

Danilynn1975

School supply lists have gotten way out of hand.

This year for my 6th grader they wanted:

48 black Pentel brand only pens
48 red Pentel brand only pens
96 mechanical pencils Bic brand only
8 two inch binders
6 boxes of Kleenex brand only tissues
15 packs wide rule paper
3 packs manila paper
6 three subject spiral notebooks
4 packs of pocketed dividers
12 pack of Crayola only brand colored pencils
10 glue sticks Elmer's brand only
2 boxes of Glad brand only 30 gallon trashbags
3 boxes of Ziploc only brand freezer bags

It was also mandatory to purchase a school t-shirt ($25)
2 packs of dry erase markers Expo brand only

Now on meet and greet night since she changes classes the teachers all had class "fees" ranging from $5 for her math class to $20 for her English class

Then there was the band fees plus instrument costs. ($2100 total if you are curious)

Then there was the backpack, and other stuff they wanted like germ-x.

I also have a high school kid her class fees on open house meet and greet wiped out $150 in less than an hour.
Then there was her school supplies. Some of the same stuff my 6th grader needed.

My total back to school costs ran me excluding the band instrument: $800

The school supply list expectation is getting way out of hand.

I'm all for good deeds. But damn it, I can not afford to supply other people's kids with their stuff. There are organizations they can get help from. Grow up and take care of your own.

As for the candy. that's a personal choice. But after what I spent getting supplies, I don't think I would be doing it.

Because as we all know come Christmas break they are going to hit us with yet another expensive lengthy list of stuff meant not for our kid but for other kids too.

It's insane.

Then there was the note from the school regarding home packed lunches and what was prohibited. It was a really long list. It ended with saying they preferred the kids to buy their lunches from the school. Neither of my kids is particularly fond of the stuff the serve. Basically about all they are allowed is chicken or turkey lunch meat. They banned ham and other pork products. We are not Jewish, nor are we Muslim. No sweets, no grapes. Apples, pears, or bananas were the "encouraged fruit". Okay what the hell is wrong with grapes?????

Tiffa0909

I remember getting a list of supplies to bring the school when I was a child.

Most of the things were for projects that they already had planned for each student and some were for general use in the classroom and those were shared by everyone.

Yes , there was children who could not afford to bring any but that was part of the learning experience and learning how to share.

I also remember that when I missed a class ,the parents of those kids were the ones that would make sure to pick up a extra copy of the work and give it to my mom so that I would not get behind on my school work. Or they would drop the notebooks so that I could copy the notes.