Guess What was on my Kid's School Shopping List

RGv2

As a teacher of an extra curricular class (choir), I cannot collect fees from my student.

amazing how different school are. it's $100 dollars per sport in my sons school. Plus he has to purchase the gym uniform and there are fees for certain classes as well as fees for many of the clubs. While there is no 'fee' for band that is required for him to be in it, there is the book i have to buy, the concert uniform, the music stand, the upkeep of the instrument, reeds, and "donations" so the guest conductors and instructions can come teach once a month. There is also no transportation provided unless the concert/game/activity is over a certain number of miles away. The money for that bus is raised by the PTO, the the Music association, through the activity fees collected and through other fundraisers run by various departments and the school itself.

I don't think that's they meant.

They can't collect fees for choir.. my school collects fees for it.. If i don't pay the above money my son isn't allowed to participate. what did I miss?

As a teacher of said extra curricular activity, the TEACHER can't collect fees, doesn't say anything about the school.

That's how I read it.

oh i see.. arguing semantics.. gotcha.. in that case then i'm pretty sure the teacher themselves collecting money is most likely disallowed everywhere.

I'm not trying to "argue semantics" or argue at all, I'm just saying I didn't think that's what they meant by the statement.

dare2love81

Here's the thing...I don't care what the reward is - be it candy, stickers or whatever...I'm hung up on the fact that kids are being rewarded for doing what they SHOULD be doing anyways.

And incentive for being good? I'm pretty sure keeping my name off of the chalkboard was incentive enough for me, cuz I knew if I got any check marks after my name (check marks were issued for each "bad" instance), there would be no recess for me. So what motivated me to behave? Wanting to spare myself from the embarassement of having to stay in at recess, or having my name on the chalkboard for the whole class to see.

Then blame parents, not teachers. When kids grow up with no limits and no consequences, a teacher cannot magically change his/her behavior and life outlook overnight. Do you actually think teachers WANT to have to bribe kids to get them to behave?

Kids who are raised with no consequences at home have very little real consequences at school. They are not embarrassed to have their name written on the board - they think it's funny and/or are proud of it. The number one threat for me as a kid was having a teacher call my mom. Nowadays, if you call a parent to report a child's misbehavior, you are almost just as likely to get chewed out by the parent for not being a "good enough" teacher to handle their brat of a child. You're pretty limited as to what you can take away at school. Rewards are a last but necessary resort, unfortunately.

Oh, I do blame the parents too, don't get me wrong. I was just floored to see that teachers have to resort to a "rewards" program just to get kids to behave. I don't pretend to have all the answers, today's society is royally messed up. I can't believe what kids are allowed to get away with these days. My biggest pet peeve is when you go to a restaurant and see kids running around and being obnoxious and the parents are just oblivious and ignore them. Unless we're sitting at Chuck E. Cheese or McDonald's, get a handle on your kid and make them behave or leave! But I digress...

For the record, I have a lot of respect for teachers. I know I couldn't do it. I don't for one second think it's an easy job. It's just unfortunate that they have to resort to rewards programs to get kids to learn.

You are surprised that teachers have to reward kids to get them to work? Do you have a job? If so, do you get a paycheck? Do you get pats on the back and weekends off, vacation time, holiday parties, etc? According to sociologist Max Weber, considered the grandfather of organization theory, people are motivated by many things, and many of those things are rewards.

I should have clarified - I'm surprised that kids have to be rewarded or incented in order to behave. I'm not saying a kid shouldn't get a "good job" or a pat on the back when they do well on homework, or tests. But I'm sorry, I would never parent my child by saying "if you're good today, you'll get X". That's the equivalent of my boss saying "hey, if you don't act out at work or fly off the handle at customers, we'll throw you a pizza party". Sorry, but the real world doesn't work like that. And in most jobs, you get raises for going above and beyond, not just by showing up to work and "behaving".

I don't disagree that people are motivated by rewards, however unless you happen to work for one of the few companies in the world that recognize that, you're not going to see that practiced very often. I suppose next you're going to tell me that I should view my paycheck as a reward?

RGv2

I suppose next you're going to tell me that I should view my paycheck as a reward?

Um, it is a reward.

dare2love81

I suppose next you're going to tell me that I should view my paycheck as a reward?

Um, it is a reward.

Sorry, but that's not how I view a reward. Payment for services rendered is not a reward in my mind. I never considered grades to be a reward either. Paychecks and grades were something I earned, not something I was rewarded with.

RGv2

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Just say'n.

odusgolp

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Do you get rewarded for stealing pencils from the golf course?

RGv2

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Do you get rewarded for stealing pencils from the golf course?

A) They're free. I paid the $108 for the two of us to go golfing, we can keep the two pencils.

Yes, my reward would be I now have 2 fewer pencils to go buy, try to write it off, and not get the money.

dare2love81

Here's the thing...I don't care what the reward is - be it candy, stickers or whatever...I'm hung up on the fact that kids are being rewarded for doing what they SHOULD be doing anyways.

And incentive for being good? I'm pretty sure keeping my name off of the chalkboard was incentive enough for me, cuz I knew if I got any check marks after my name (check marks were issued for each "bad" instance), there would be no recess for me. So what motivated me to behave? Wanting to spare myself from the embarassement of having to stay in at recess, or having my name on the chalkboard for the whole class to see.

Then blame parents, not teachers. When kids grow up with no limits and no consequences, a teacher cannot magically change his/her behavior and life outlook overnight. Do you actually think teachers WANT to have to bribe kids to get them to behave?

Kids who are raised with no consequences at home have very little real consequences at school. They are not embarrassed to have their name written on the board - they think it's funny and/or are proud of it. The number one threat for me as a kid was having a teacher call my mom. Nowadays, if you call a parent to report a child's misbehavior, you are almost just as likely to get chewed out by the parent for not being a "good enough" teacher to handle their brat of a child. You're pretty limited as to what you can take away at school. Rewards are a last but necessary resort, unfortunately.

Oh, I do blame the parents too, don't get me wrong. I was just floored to see that teachers have to resort to a "rewards" program just to get kids to behave. I don't pretend to have all the answers, today's society is royally messed up. I can't believe what kids are allowed to get away with these days. My biggest pet peeve is when you go to a restaurant and see kids running around and being obnoxious and the parents are just oblivious and ignore them. Unless we're sitting at Chuck E. Cheese or McDonald's, get a handle on your kid and make them behave or leave! But I digress...

For the record, I have a lot of respect for teachers. I know I couldn't do it. I don't for one second think it's an easy job. It's just unfortunate that they have to resort to rewards programs to get kids to learn.

Wow.. i didn't know giving out candy or stickers or something to reinforce good behavior was a bad thing? Although I do agree that it starts at home. The teachers don't stand a chance if the kids parent's don't expect good behavior. If a teacher told my son lunch is on them if he gets straight As in his class, I guarantee that my son would get straight As.

Incentive to do well is a good thing. And it follows us through our adult life. You get commission or promotion opportunities or raises or a Christmas bonus or whatever else they offer you, if you do your job well. If there was no incentive offered most people would do the bare minimum just to keep their job. That is true whether a child is raised that way or not. And you *do* offer your child incentives to behave well whether you think you do or not. You are not going to take a misbehaving child out for ice cream are you? So good behavior = ice cream. That is how the child will see it and unless you take them out for ice cream whether the behavior is good or bad, that is how it is.

The way I'm looking at it is different I guess. I would go out for ice cream because it sounded good :bigsmile: and would stress that to my child. I would never say "well, because you behaved today, we're going out for ice cream". But I suppose you're right, I would never take a misbehaving child out for ice cream either. I just wouldn't want them to think that every time they're good, they're going to get something in return for it. I was raised (right, wrong or otherwise) that if I wasn't well behaved, there would be consequences (no TV, no phone, no playing with friends, etc). So avoiding punishment was enough of a "reward" for me.

Is my way the only way? No. And I don't pretend that it is. All I'm saying is that I wouldn't want my child being rewarded for doing what's expected of them. If they go above and beyond, sure. Or if they do really well on the homework/test, praise them for it. I just don't feel that behaving for a day deserves a reward. Having said that, (and as I've said earlier) I realize that it's extremely hard for teachers nowadays. I'm not discounting that at all.

odusgolp

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Do you get rewarded for stealing pencils from the golf course?

A) They're free. I paid the $108 for the two of us to go golfing, we can keep the two pencils.

Yes, my reward would be I now have 2 fewer pencils to go buy, try to write it off, and not get the money.

We go to IKEA just to snag the little pencils, and I'm supposed to bring them home from golfing.

I call BS on the teachers throwing away pens, pencils, markers, etc..... (see going to IKEA and golf courses for pencils).

I LOL'd. There's a few hundred kids in the school. We still have to go to IKEA and the Golf Course for pencils.

OK.

RGv2

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Do you get rewarded for stealing pencils from the golf course?

A) They're free. I paid the $108 for the two of us to go golfing, we can keep the two pencils.

Yes, my reward would be I now have 2 fewer pencils to go buy, try to write it off, and not get the money.

We go to IKEA just to snag the little pencils, and I'm supposed to bring them home from golfing.

I call BS on the teachers throwing away pens, pencils, markers, etc..... (see going to IKEA and golf courses for pencils).

I LOL'd. There's a few hundred kids in the school. We still have to go to IKEA and the Golf Course for pencils.

OK.

I miss your point.

If we go to IKEA, everyone gets a pencil.

When I go golfing I bring home the pencil(s) depending upon the group.

dare2love81

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Just say'n.

There are multiple definitions of reward:

•a thing given in recognition of one's service, effort, or achievement.
"the holiday was a reward for 40 years' service with the company"

•a fair return for good or bad behavior.
"a slap on the face was his reward for his impudence"

•a sum offered for the detection of a criminal, the restoration of lost property, or the giving of information

Just say'n.

RGv2

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Just say'n.

There are multiple definitions of reward:

•a thing given in recognition of one's service, effort, or achievement.
"the holiday was a reward for 40 years' service with the company"

•a fair return for good or bad behavior.
"a slap on the face was his reward for his impudence"

•a sum offered for the detection of a criminal, the restoration of lost property, or the giving of information

Just say'n.

Yep, and one of them is something given in return or recompense for service.

You may not acknowledge it, but it still is.

dare2love81

Reward; something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc.

Just say'n.

There are multiple definitions of reward:

•a thing given in recognition of one's service, effort, or achievement.
"the holiday was a reward for 40 years' service with the company"

•a fair return for good or bad behavior.
"a slap on the face was his reward for his impudence"

•a sum offered for the detection of a criminal, the restoration of lost property, or the giving of information

Just say'n.

Yep, and one of them is something given in return or recompense for service.

You may not acknowledge it, but it still is.

You may not acknowledge that there are also other definitions of the word, but there are.

So what you're saying is your way is the only way to view things? Let me know how that works out for you; I'm glad you view your paycheck as a reward. I personally don't view something I'm owed as a reward. But to each their own.

Probably we should just agree to disagree on this one.

vytamindi

As a teacher of an extra curricular class (choir), I cannot collect fees from my student.

amazing how different school are. it's $100 dollars per sport in my sons school. Plus he has to purchase the gym uniform and there are fees for certain classes as well as fees for many of the clubs. While there is no 'fee' for band that is required for him to be in it, there is the book i have to buy, the concert uniform, the music stand, the upkeep of the instrument, reeds, and "donations" so the guest conductors and instructions can come teach once a month. There is also no transportation provided unless the concert/game/activity is over a certain number of miles away. The money for that bus is raised by the PTO, the the Music association, through the activity fees collected and through other fundraisers run by various departments and the school itself.

I don't think that's they meant.

They can't collect fees for choir.. my school collects fees for it.. If i don't pay the above money my son isn't allowed to participate. what did I miss?

As a teacher of said extra curricular activity, the TEACHER can't collect fees, doesn't say anything about the school.

That's how I read it.

The school can't either. My principal brought up the point that some families cannot afford much more than the school fees (very rural, low income area), and that the extra choir fee would be too much. I agree with her. My kids are just going to have to fund raise for new music.

But you're right, they do have to pay their own way for field trips (and I always end up footing the bill for at least five each year, no problem) and get the uniform.

pinkledoodledoo

It used to be that kids were motivated to do well by their parents getting a copy of their report card. Now they need candy? Ridiculous.

RGv2

It used to be that kids were motivated to do well by their parents getting a copy of their report card. Now they need candy? Ridiculous.

Need, or like?

BarbraP44

There are so many ways to give incentives. Why not a genuine compliment? I am sure candy as an incentive goes against (coughs) Michelle Obama's healthier menus offered in schools. I would be confrontational to that teacher and tell her NO. And I would go so far as to call other parents. My dh and I never allowed our children to have candy (just special occasions, like trick or treat and then it was rationed, removing all hard candies). I can definitely vouch for healthier teeth. Son is now 47 and has no cavities!

likitisplit

Our schools are junk food free. Thank goodness.

As far as parents supplying cleaning supplies, etc. What the hell??!! Do our tax dollars not go towards the maintenance and running of our schools??

No. They don't. Teachers end up paying for it out of their miniscule salaries.

RGv2

DP

pinkledoodledoo

It used to be that kids were motivated to do well by their parents getting a copy of their report card. Now they need candy? Ridiculous.

Need, or like?

Well, the teacher the OP mentioned seems to think they need it if it's being put on their list of required school supplies.

RGv2

There are so many ways to give incentives. Why not a genuine compliment? I am sure candy as an incentive goes against (coughs) Michelle Obama's healthier menus offered in schools. I would be confrontational to that teacher and tell her NO. And I would go so far as to call other parents. My dh and I never allowed our children to have candy (just special occasions, like trick or treat and then it was rationed, removing all hard candies). I can definitely vouch for healthier teeth. Son is now 47 and has no cavities!

:laugh: Confrontational. What does candy have to do with not being healthy? You can be healthy and have candy.

RGv2

It used to be that kids were motivated to do well by their parents getting a copy of their report card. Now they need candy? Ridiculous.

Need, or like?

Well, the teacher the OP mentioned seems to think they need it if it's being put on their list of required school supplies.

Where in the OP does it say "require school supplies"

It says teacher asked for.....

BrandNewAmy

I know there are budget cuts in education, but since when are the parents responsible for the incentives in the classroom?

... Parents have always been responsible for school supplies. There has probably never been a budget for classroom incentives, so budget cuts really have nothing to do with it. At my school I got NO money for supplies. Anything I wanted, I bought. Teachers spend plenty of their own money on everything from paper to field trip fees for kids whose parents can't afford it. I don't think it's unreasonable for parents to chip in with extras like candy, tissue, hand sanitizer, etc. Schools do not provide these things, so either teachers pay for it, parents split up the cost and pay for it, or the kids get none. Or, you can be one of those parents who just relies on the reliable parents to pick up the slack for you. (Had a lot of those as a teacher.)

It's a hot button issue for me ever since the year I spent $200 on PENCILS. I realize candy is a different issue, but since when are TEACHERS and not parents responsible for something that kids want and use in the classroom?

Here! Here!

As a parent I tend to go overboard buying supplies for my daughters' school, as I completely understand how frustrating it can be when parents don't supply their children with a few items. I had to giggle in a store once because a parent was ranting and raving about how expensive school supplies were. I peeked in her cart and guess what? 94 count crayons (her list said 24), fancy schmancy Trapper Keeper (her list read "No Trapper Keepers"), notebooks and folders with kitties and puppies on them (hmmm...as I recall the plain ones are considerably cheaper!), etc. etc. etc. There are enough sales out there that you can get your list for cheap!!

As a teacher, I tried my hardest not to create an unmanageable supply list. I didn't get much in the way of a classroom budget and even now (a few years after I left the classroom --- not the profession) things in the classroom are worse. States are focusing on giving huge corporations tax breaks and taking that money away from schools. I used to joke around that we should get corporate sponsors for our schools...might not be much of a joke anymore...

Oh, and back to the OP --- I'd definitely inquire as to why the candy? So many school districts are leaning towards healthier eating and while my district hasn't banned sweets entirely (parents can bring them, but within reason) they would certainly have a nice little chat with me about putting that on my supply list! Hopefully the school secretary didn't add it as a joke and it went to print anyway!! LOL

And to the person who wrote that the teacher probably wanted it for herself...seriously? Good grief!

dare2love81

It used to be that kids were motivated to do well by their parents getting a copy of their report card. Now they need candy? Ridiculous.

Need, or like?

Well, the teacher the OP mentioned seems to think they need it if it's being put on their list of required school supplies.

Where in the OP does it say "require school supplies"

It says teacher asked for.....

Are you trying to pick fights today or what?

RGv2

It used to be that kids were motivated to do well by their parents getting a copy of their report card. Now they need candy? Ridiculous.

Need, or like?

Well, the teacher the OP mentioned seems to think they need it if it's being put on their list of required school supplies.

Where in the OP does it say "require school supplies"

It says teacher asked for.....

Are you trying to pick fights today or what?

Not picking fights at all, just disagreeing as so many people are jumping the shark over a bag of candy.

"I'd get confrontational".....come on.

Plus, I spend hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars a year putting supplies into a classroom that I don't even have kids in (and where most of them probably don't have a shot passed high school).

Confuzzled4ever

Here's the thing...I don't care what the reward is - be it candy, stickers or whatever...I'm hung up on the fact that kids are being rewarded for doing what they SHOULD be doing anyways.

And incentive for being good? I'm pretty sure keeping my name off of the chalkboard was incentive enough for me, cuz I knew if I got any check marks after my name (check marks were issued for each "bad" instance), there would be no recess for me. So what motivated me to behave? Wanting to spare myself from the embarassement of having to stay in at recess, or having my name on the chalkboard for the whole class to see.

Then blame parents, not teachers. When kids grow up with no limits and no consequences, a teacher cannot magically change his/her behavior and life outlook overnight. Do you actually think teachers WANT to have to bribe kids to get them to behave?

Kids who are raised with no consequences at home have very little real consequences at school. They are not embarrassed to have their name written on the board - they think it's funny and/or are proud of it. The number one threat for me as a kid was having a teacher call my mom. Nowadays, if you call a parent to report a child's misbehavior, you are almost just as likely to get chewed out by the parent for not being a "good enough" teacher to handle their brat of a child. You're pretty limited as to what you can take away at school. Rewards are a last but necessary resort, unfortunately.

Oh, I do blame the parents too, don't get me wrong. I was just floored to see that teachers have to resort to a "rewards" program just to get kids to behave. I don't pretend to have all the answers, today's society is royally messed up. I can't believe what kids are allowed to get away with these days. My biggest pet peeve is when you go to a restaurant and see kids running around and being obnoxious and the parents are just oblivious and ignore them. Unless we're sitting at Chuck E. Cheese or McDonald's, get a handle on your kid and make them behave or leave! But I digress...

For the record, I have a lot of respect for teachers. I know I couldn't do it. I don't for one second think it's an easy job. It's just unfortunate that they have to resort to rewards programs to get kids to learn.

Wow.. i didn't know giving out candy or stickers or something to reinforce good behavior was a bad thing? Although I do agree that it starts at home. The teachers don't stand a chance if the kids parent's don't expect good behavior. If a teacher told my son lunch is on them if he gets straight As in his class, I guarantee that my son would get straight As.

Incentive to do well is a good thing. And it follows us through our adult life. You get commission or promotion opportunities or raises or a Christmas bonus or whatever else they offer you, if you do your job well. If there was no incentive offered most people would do the bare minimum just to keep their job. That is true whether a child is raised that way or not. And you *do* offer your child incentives to behave well whether you think you do or not. You are not going to take a misbehaving child out for ice cream are you? So good behavior = ice cream. That is how the child will see it and unless you take them out for ice cream whether the behavior is good or bad, that is how it is.

The way I'm looking at it is different I guess. I would go out for ice cream because it sounded good :bigsmile: and would stress that to my child. I would never say "well, because you behaved today, we're going out for ice cream". But I suppose you're right, I would never take a misbehaving child out for ice cream either. I just wouldn't want them to think that every time they're good, they're going to get something in return for it. I was raised (right, wrong or otherwise) that if I wasn't well behaved, there would be consequences (no TV, no phone, no playing with friends, etc). So avoiding punishment was enough of a "reward" for me.

Is my way the only way? No. And I don't pretend that it is. All I'm saying is that I wouldn't want my child being rewarded for doing what's expected of them. If they go above and beyond, sure. Or if they do really well on the homework/test, praise them for it. I just don't feel that behaving for a day deserves a reward. Having said that, (and as I've said earlier) I realize that it's extremely hard for teachers nowadays. I'm not discounting that at all.

I agree, that every time they are good they shouldn't get rewarded. but teachers are dealing with 20-30 kids at a time. not 1 or 2. It's much harder to control the talking, the disruptions, the behavior in that situation. I don't see how offering up a piece of candy or a sticker if they refrain from this behavior is a bad thing. Especially with younger kids. Older kids perhaps will see one peer get detention, kicked out of class or whatever and it might make them think twice.. but younger kids don't really have that capacity. No phone/tv/friends will work for older kids, but not so much on younger kids. They will just go play with their toys. Unless you take all that away too. None of that works on my son, never did and still doesn't. he just picks up a book or goes to sleep. Even extra chores doesn't faze him. but offer up a reward for whatever behavior i want him to consistently embody and I've got a different kid on my hands. Right now he's obsessed with getting As because I've offered him dinner at Dave and busters for straight As. Not an easy task in the school he's in.

older kids, like middle school aged, gain a great deal from a little reward for doing well and doing what they are supposed to do. I can't tell you how me saying to my son "thank you for listening the first time" or "You got that done so quick that we have time to have some ice cream" (both rewards for expected behavior) changes everything about his behavior and his attitude. Do I do it every time? Of course not. But in a classroom handing out a jolly rancher or a sticker if a child doesn't interrupt the lesson all day long does not sound like overkill. Kids are faced with a lot more distraction and chances to misbehave then they are at the homestead.

vienna_h

We were never asked to bring in food or anything for the teacher to use as incentives (the teachers bought stickers, that was all the incentive we needed!) but we would have special events when we would be asked to bring in treats and pop (soft drinks, soda, whatever you wanna call it).

I hated that because I didn't drink pop or chips and I felt so left out, like I was not a normal kid because kids are suppose to like mountain dew and coke and ketchup chips, and I didn't. I would pour myself a cup of orange crush and pretend to sip it lol.

I don't have kids, but I can't imagine I would be okay with using food, especially candy, as incentive. Good ol' stickers and game time worked just fine back in my day! the only time there was a food incentive was Earth Day. After cleaning the school yard we'd get hot dogs for lunch (not the normal menu).

penrbrown

I don't have kids, but I can't imagine I would be okay with using food, especially candy, as incentive.

That's a really good point> is it wise to start teaching kids that food is a reward and not just a necessary perk of life?

Seems to me this is setting up unhealthy eating habits in these kids future. But I could be reaching.

BeachIron

I don't have kids, but I can't imagine I would be okay with using food, especially candy, as incentive.

That's a really good point> is it wise to start teaching kids that food is a reward and not just a necessary perk of life?

Seems to me this is setting up unhealthy eating habits in these kids future. But I could be reaching.

Considering that there are plenty of parents and teachers who use it as a reward within reasonable limits, and adults who had it used on them as children, again within reasonable limits, I'm going to say that you are reaching. Any otherwise reasonable method of reward or punishment can resort in problems down the road if it is not used carefully and with good intent. As they say, even a dog knows when he's been kicked as opposed to tripped over, and children are far more intelligent.

pinkledoodledoo

It used to be that kids were motivated to do well by their parents getting a copy of their report card. Now they need candy? Ridiculous.

Need, or like?

Well, the teacher the OP mentioned seems to think they need it if it's being put on their list of required school supplies.

Where in the OP does it say "require school supplies"

It says teacher asked for.....

Are you trying to pick fights today or what?

Not picking fights at all, just disagreeing as so many people are jumping the shark over a bag of candy.

"I'd get confrontational".....come on.

Plus, I spend hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars a year putting supplies into a classroom that I don't even have kids in (and where most of them probably don't have a shot passed high school).

Not buying things that are specifically requested by teachers before the start of the school year is often a great way to get your kid noticed for the wrong reasons. I know because this happened to me when I was in school. My mom didn't have a lot of money and didn't think it was important to buy composition notebooks instead of the cheapest ones we could find (when they were requested by teachers)... and *I* got in trouble for not having the right supplies. And yes... teachers can really be THAT cruel and unrelenting, even about a bag of candy or the type of notebook you use.