Asked for help, REFUSED! *rant*

Options
1…457910…14

Replies

  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    Options
    ok ok ok ok ok i am soooooooooooooooo sorry for calling 40bmi a minor weight problem, i guess it just seemed it relatively, i take it back,omg so sorry i was wrong can u forgive me?

    hmmm, i am pretty set against weight loss surgerym i dont think it is what i need.
  • easto_79
    easto_79 Posts: 102 Member
    Options
    Not sure if this is the best advice, because I don't want anyone getting hurt, but I often just lie about my weight, my calculated BMI was 45.2, but in reality I have a lot of mussle mass and am pretty fit. I had no problem, learning how to Paddleboard, play ball hockey, jog a 5km in under 40min (ya not great but considering my mass) and many other things. I have always played sports and likely a bit more lucky and the average 45.2 BMI but really if you feel like you can do the exercise than give it a try.

    I know this is likely not the best advice, and please don't push yourself too much, but honestly the basically BMI calucation doesn't really determine someone's fitness level.

    My RANT!!!
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
    Options
    I think you've done great so far!

    Let me ask you this, though- do you think it's fair to make them take on a person who's needs are greater than they can deal with? It would be unprofessional and unfair to you for them to take you on if they didn't feel they could do the best by you. Yes, classes are good to learn about nutrition, but that's hardly the only source.

    I know you don't like hospitals, but if you're not even going to try looking at one of those programs, you're doing a disservice to yourself. If you want to change your life, you're going to have to do *something,* even if it means sucking it up and trying something you don't want to do. You might find that it really *was* the best thing for you! :)

    So much this.
  • Rei1988
    Rei1988 Posts: 412 Member
    Options
    I'd say look into a ketogenic diet.
  • dubster
    dubster Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    Sounds like your problem is all in your head to me... What do you do when you are driving along and the road is blocked off ahead of you. You don't sit there and *****, Whine and complain about it . Noooo... You find another way around. Improvise.. Adapte and overcome. Also value other peoples advice. Especially those who speacialize in the field.

    "Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."......
    .....Baz Luhrmann (Sunsreen Song)

    I hope you can resolve your issue with the help of this Fitness Pal Fourm.

    "The size of your waist is measured by a ruler of your own making"
    .....Dubster

    Goto this link, Listen to the song. It helped me in my weightloss journey.....
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhCFR03kx98
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    Options
    Just a side note that if you've plateaued in your weight loss at your size then you probably would benefit from a medically supervised diet. If eating properly and exercise isn't getting you results then there is some issue going on that you need to look into.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
    Options
    Thanks for the informed comment size10again. Are you a professional in this area?

    I guess they must be going off that tier thing. And that is what frustrates me, I dont want special medical help, I want that teit lifestyley, public health stuff. Apart from being more positive, it is also more sustainable because it gives real long term strategies for life, not just acute medical care. I really feel this approach would be best for me.

    I don't think people are out to get me, promise, I just think I am being prevented from accessing services I feel I could really benefit from.

    A tier 3/4 service will give you all the lifestyle advice as well as many other things that you may not get from the group such as specialist assessments regarding diabetes and heart health etc.

    This is the service spec for a Tier 2 service (which from the sounds of it I very much suspect you went to see), and somewhere in there it'll probably say what the cut off point is for people for whom the interventions are best suited. So it's not the the staff don't want you or rejected you, I think they just feel that they're not cut out to deal with needs that may exceed that spec.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/142723/Weight_Management_Service_Spec_FINAL_with_IRB.pdf

    Yes I was involved with the Obesity Care Pathway in my local area, but I was in Wales then and thinds work slightly differently as Health is devolved to the Welsh Assembly Government, but much is very similar to England.

    http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sitesplus/888/page/52135

    So where I work Our tiers were:

    Level 1: Community based prevention and early intervention (self care)
    Level 2: Community and primary care weight management services
    Level 3: Specialist multi disciplinary team weight management services
    Level 4: Specialist medical and surgical services.

    I reckon from what the member of staff said to you, your Tier 3 service is based in a clinical / hospital setting. That's probably because they will need to have access to all kinds of clever machinery that you can't get into a community centre.

    Please don't be offended by being told you need the team "the next floor up" :wink: it's all in the interest of you getting the best possible service for you. Do yourself a favour and check them out. :flowerforyou:

    Thank you for your really helpful knowledge xx I guess I could see about looking into it when you out it that way, but I hope I can have some consultation were i can tell them i really want all the lifestyly stuff also because that is what I think is best help.

    Thanks for everyone who give me really useful information and help.

    I don't accept these people who trying to make me feel bad, and saying stuff like 'you've got your wieght so out of control' and stuff to shame me. I don't feel ashamed. I HAVE ACTUALLY ALREADY LOST A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF WEIGHT and looking into this because i want to continue to progress with this. I am really PROUD of myself, nothing you can do to chnge it ok.

    Your best thinking got you to a BMI of 60+%. Maybe someone else should do some thinking for you.
  • JDHINAZ
    JDHINAZ Posts: 641 Member
    Options
    ok ok ok ok ok i am soooooooooooooooo sorry for calling 40bmi a minor weight problem, i guess it just seemed it relatively, i take it back,omg so sorry i was wrong can u forgive me?

    hmmm, i am pretty set against weight loss surgerym i dont think it is what i need.

    OP, do yourself a favor and quit reading this thread. Take Size 10's advise, it's brilliant, and she did all your homework for you.
    At this point, there is nothing else that anyone else can say that will be of value. Even those empathizing with you...just go check out the resource Size 10 made available to you, and see what they can do for you.

    Best of luck! I hope your journey continues to be successful!!
  • shakenotstirred
    shakenotstirred Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    One of the hardest things to deal with is rejection and it sounds like you got a mouthful. I say the hell with these people. Who are THEY to judge, and it sure seems like they do??? Was this class something you were to pay for? Or was this some sort of volunteer program where they were the volunteers working to help others? In either case, after you get over the indignation of their apparent lack of empathy or any emotion resembling human decency, consider yourself lucky. Good ridance to bad rubbish!
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    Options
    Look what I found for you... phone number and everything. Give them a call. :wink:

    http://www.newcastle-hospitals.org.uk/services/_health-improvement_weight-management-programme-level-3.aspx

    Your GP can refer you. And yes it includes all the life style stuff you were after.
    Thank yoooooooooooou!! :D

    You're very welcome. :smile:
  • brittany2188
    brittany2188 Posts: 63
    Options
    My friend is 5'7" and weighs just over 500 lbs. I was walking around the building at work with her one day for exercise during lunch and a mutual friend, who just happens to be an MD, took me aside later and told me that I should not exercise with her. When asked why, he replied that I was not trained in CPR and could not handle getting her back up if she fell. While it chafed, he was right. I was being unfair to my friend by assuming that I could help if she needed it.

    So you're not able to CALL for help if she needed it? Isn't that what we have emergency services for? Sounds like a piss-poor excuse to me. You're being unfair to your friend by abandoning her in her efforts to get healthy, not by "assuming you could help her if she needed it".
  • rosemary98
    rosemary98 Posts: 632
    Options
    honestly, i have been rejected from different groups/activities before due to my weight--because it was too low. in certain cases they didn't want to be responsible or liable because of my weight. in other cases, they didn't want to offset or trigger other individuals who they thought more appropriate for the group. I was upset because i thought those groups could help me. but i also understood that i can't take it personally--because it was just the rules they set up for the group for various reasons.
  • whitecapwendy
    whitecapwendy Posts: 287 Member
    Options
    I'm sure their recommendation to seek help at the hospital was purely due to liability issues. Try not to take it personally.

    agree with this. In this day where everyone is suing everyone over often minor stuff, people are afraid to take any kind of risk. If they gave advice, you followed it and suffered an injury, needed surgery or died, they would be afraid that you would sue them for negligence or abuse. They are not doctors (I am guessing), so do not want be accused of making diagnoses or prescribing anything and be sued for malpractice. So they set parameters or limits to whom they will try to help. Probably would not allow anyone whose numbers were too low either.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
    Options
    My friend is 5'7" and weighs just over 500 lbs. I was walking around the building at work with her one day for exercise during lunch and a mutual friend, who just happens to be an MD, took me aside later and told me that I should not exercise with her. When asked why, he replied that I was not trained in CPR and could not handle getting her back up if she fell. While it chafed, he was right. I was being unfair to my friend by assuming that I could help if she needed it.

    So you're not able to CALL for help if she needed it? Isn't that what we have emergency services for? Sounds like a piss-poor excuse to me. You're being unfair to your friend by abandoning her in her efforts to get healthy, not by "assuming you could help her if she needed it".

    Maybe she was advised not to put her friend in the situation as to eliminate the possibility that she may injure or put herself into harm. Otherwise, I would let my kids run w/ scissors, because I can always call 9-1-1 if and when one of them pokes an eye out.
  • PrincessYorga
    PrincessYorga Posts: 63
    Options

    *I've got something in my pocket,
    That belongs across my face,
    I keep it very close at hand,
    In a most convenient place.
    I'm sure you couldn't guess it,
    If you guessed a long long while.
    So I'll take it out and put it on,
    It's a great big brownie smile.*

    Wow. Flashback. :smile:

    I know, right??? :-) lol I was going to post the same thing!
  • bob_day
    bob_day Posts: 87
    Options
    I imagine believing you won't be able to keep up with the class is a big part of it. Alternately, different levels of obesity are best served with different types of programs, and it may be they are optimized for lower end of the obesity spectrum.

    There may also be a liability issue - a BMI of 60+ is pretty serious business.

    l can understand your frustration, and feel for you, but I'm pretty sure they aren't establishing a cutoff out of meanness.

    Also, they may have been trying to be helpful in suggesting
    that you might be able to get help from a hospital.

    I'm not even going to recommend my usual diet plan for you.

    My suggestion is to get checked out by a doctor for any abnormalities,
    and then if you're OK, go to a licensed medically trained nutritionist and
    get a diet plan.

    Then, take that diet plan seriously and stay on it !!!!
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Options
    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Options
    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:

    Stupid crocheted pot holders...:angry:
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    Options
    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:

    Stupid crocheted pot holders...:angry:
    I would have loved to have done crochet and nice crafts (it is indeed my work now!!) but I had to do horrble sports and rough dirty activities, so bad stuff about that too.
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    Options
    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:

    Stupid crocheted pot holders...:angry:
    smiley-taunt002.gif I was in the Cub Scouts. It was fun. We did lots of cool stuff, like hiking in the mountains.

Categories