Asked for help, REFUSED! *rant*
joselo2
Posts: 461
Hello,
I am trying to lose weight but have found my efforts stalling a lot, like my progress as ground to a halt, and I have not been able to lose in some months. So, I wanted to get things back on track, and I heard about a local organisation that offers fun social group exercise stuff, and also lessons about healthy eating, cooking, lifestyle etc. I thought that this sounded a good thing to get involved in, and a nice friendly way to get help with other people.So I enquired about it.
I was told I could NOT be involved
My BMI is 61, far over their 'top' threshold of 40. Therefore they say they can't help and that I can only gethelp from the HOSPITAL!! I am very angry and upset about this!! I do not want to have to go to the hosptial to get all clinical help like I was an invalid, and also, I don't LIKE hospitals, who does??? It was not what I was after at all- as I say, I was seeking a nice fun informal way to get help- about working towards a better lifestyle, not about being treated as a patient. I think I would benefit much more from the class than hospital. Am I so much of a 'special needs' fatty that the group would be better off without me??
It annoys me that there is a group to help ppl about weight, but they only want to help people with a minor wieght problem. It just upsets me thinking WHY? Is it tht they think I am beyond 'normal' help and interventions? that I wouldbe bad for the group? That I would not keep up wth the class, physically or mentally? What is it?
Ugh, sorry for the rant, just so annoyed!!
I am trying to lose weight but have found my efforts stalling a lot, like my progress as ground to a halt, and I have not been able to lose in some months. So, I wanted to get things back on track, and I heard about a local organisation that offers fun social group exercise stuff, and also lessons about healthy eating, cooking, lifestyle etc. I thought that this sounded a good thing to get involved in, and a nice friendly way to get help with other people.So I enquired about it.
I was told I could NOT be involved
My BMI is 61, far over their 'top' threshold of 40. Therefore they say they can't help and that I can only gethelp from the HOSPITAL!! I am very angry and upset about this!! I do not want to have to go to the hosptial to get all clinical help like I was an invalid, and also, I don't LIKE hospitals, who does??? It was not what I was after at all- as I say, I was seeking a nice fun informal way to get help- about working towards a better lifestyle, not about being treated as a patient. I think I would benefit much more from the class than hospital. Am I so much of a 'special needs' fatty that the group would be better off without me??It annoys me that there is a group to help ppl about weight, but they only want to help people with a minor wieght problem. It just upsets me thinking WHY? Is it tht they think I am beyond 'normal' help and interventions? that I wouldbe bad for the group? That I would not keep up wth the class, physically or mentally? What is it?
Ugh, sorry for the rant, just so annoyed!!
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Replies
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Wow! I can see why you would be upset. Did they give any reason other than your BMI being too high?0
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Hello,
I am trying to lose weight but have found my efforts stalling a lot, like my progress as ground to a halt, and I have not been able to lose in some months. So, I wanted to get things back on track, and I heard about a local organisation that offers fun social group exercise stuff, and also lessons about healthy eating, cooking, lifestyle etc. I thought that this sounded a good thing to get involved in, and a nice friendly way to get help with other people.So I enquired about it.
I was told I could NOT be involved My BMI is 61, far over their 'top' threshold of 40. Therefore they say they can't help and that I can only gethelp from the HOSPITAL!! I am very angry and upset about this!! I do not want to have to go to the hosptial to get all clinical help like I was an invalid, and also, I don't LIKE hospitals, who does??? It was not what I was after at all- as I say, I was seeking a nice fun informal way to get help- about working towards a better lifestyle, not about being treated as a patient. I think I would benefit much more from the class than hospital. Am I so much of a 'special needs' fatty that the group would be better off without me??
It annoys me that there is a group to help ppl about weight, but they only want to help people with a minor wieght problem. It just upsets me thinking WHY? Is it tht they think I am beyond 'normal' help and interventions? that I wouldbe bad for the group? That I would not keep up wth the class, physically or mentally? What is it?
Ugh, sorry for the rant, just so annoyed!!
Or maybe the group is geared towards a specific set of individuals and you don't fit the criteria...?
People are not out to get you.
There are still other ways to educate yourself on how to get healthy.0 -
I'm sure their recommendation to seek help at the hospital was purely due to liability issues. Try not to take it personally.0
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Why upset that an organization has the gall to make its own rules?
Just find a group that is better suited to your specific needs.0 -
I imagine believing you won't be able to keep up with the class is a big part of it. Alternately, different levels of obesity are best served with different types of programs, and it may be they are optimized for lower end of the obesity spectrum.
There may also be a liability issue - a BMI of 60+ is pretty serious business.
l can understand your frustration, and feel for you, but I'm pretty sure they aren't establishing a cutoff out of meanness.0 -
Hello,
I am trying to lose weight but have found my efforts stalling a lot, like my progress as ground to a halt, and I have not been able to lose in some months. So, I wanted to get things back on track, and I heard about a local organisation that offers fun social group exercise stuff, and also lessons about healthy eating, cooking, lifestyle etc. I thought that this sounded a good thing to get involved in, and a nice friendly way to get help with other people.So I enquired about it.
I was told I could NOT be involved My BMI is 61, far over their 'top' threshold of 40. Therefore they say they can't help and that I can only gethelp from the HOSPITAL!! I am very angry and upset about this!! I do not want to have to go to the hosptial to get all clinical help like I was an invalid, and also, I don't LIKE hospitals, who does??? It was not what I was after at all- as I say, I was seeking a nice fun informal way to get help- about working towards a better lifestyle, not about being treated as a patient. I think I would benefit much more from the class than hospital. Am I so much of a 'special needs' fatty that the group would be better off without me??
It annoys me that there is a group to help ppl about weight, but they only want to help people with a minor wieght problem. It just upsets me thinking WHY? Is it tht they think I am beyond 'normal' help and interventions? that I wouldbe bad for the group? That I would not keep up wth the class, physically or mentally? What is it?
Ugh, sorry for the rant, just so annoyed!!
What Adini said....also I would not really classify anyone with a BMI of 40 as a "minor weight problem"
My BMI was 44 when I was at my heighest weight over well over 300 pounds.
they are not out to get you, they don't not want you to get help.
Most likely they feel inadequate to provide the help you need and do not feel sufficiently educated enough to make any sort of opinion, or offer any advice based on the weight a BMI of 61 carries.
The amount of doctor recommended supervision in a BMI that high may very well classify you as NEEDING to have clinical help, just for the educational resources offered out there.
Do not assume they are rude or out to get you, they just may not have the information you need and seek.0 -
They don't need to cater to everyone. Get a PT that can cater to you if that's what you're looking for...0
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Sounds like a liability issue and I don't blame them.0
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WOW!!! That really IS insulting!
I see you post a lot - have you been posting lately? Whenever I start getting off track I a make a habit of reading the posts every day at lunch (or dinner). I don't reply to much, but I do read a lot...It seems to focus me and make me realize that this is not a diet and it might take a while to reach my goal.
Stick with MFP - figure out your calorie needs, log your food and most importantly - HANG IN THERE. If this was easy, then no one would ever be overweight...Right?0 -
Or maybe the group is geared towards a specific set of individuals and you don't fit the criteria...?
People are not out to get you.
There are still other ways to educate yourself on how to get healthy.
QFT0 -
That really stinks. Maybe it's a liability thing? A lot of stuff I've seen always has the "this is for informational purposes only, seek the advice of your doctor before starting any exercise program" warning. It's too bad that you weren't able to participate, though. I wonder if there are any other people in your area that were turned away.. maybe you could start your own group of people?0
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I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating
I don't assume they are out to get me, I just feel it's not fair.0 -
I can completely understand why the organization would do this, how can you expect people with a BMI of 60+ to be able to keep up with the exercises and keep it entertaining for the other people?
I don't see why you would be upset at them, I would be upset at myself, actually when I was excluded due to weight...I got fit and now the people who excluded me can't keep up with me...0 -
when my BMI was just over 40, i weighed 309. that's not a minor weight problem.
Its likely that, with your BMI being that high, you present a liability to their program. A hospital based program might be safer for you, you're at risk for all sorts of injury.0 -
I don't think it's fair that a yacht costs hundreds of thousands of dollars and I can't afford one. They should sell them for $10 so everyone can have one.I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating0 -
I'm sure it's more of a liability issue than anything else. Someone with a BMI of 61 is probably not going to be able to do the exercise safely that they have planned.
There's no reason you need a class to get you started on a healthier lifestyle. Start tracking your calories on here, eat at a deficit and start walking if you can. Weight comes off easily when you're in the morbidly obese range and you should be able to make some great progress without a hospital to help.0 -
OP, I can understand your frustrations, but the exercise needs of a BMI 61 person would be vastly different from those of someone with a 30-40 BMI. I'm guessing they're concerned about liability or that you'd hold up the group... They may not even think it safe that you exercise at all except basic leg-and-arm-lifting exercises while sitting down, until you're at a lower body mass.0
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I may be able to understand you not being able to keep up with the physical parts of the class but not being able to go in for nutrition? Ugh. I HATE the BMI scale, it really doesn't say much in my opinion. I'm sure you're overweight (like most of us on here, myself included!) but there's no reason you can't sit in a chair and participate in conversations about how to lose weight. I learn better in group and would be really frustrated if they wouldn't let me join, just like you are.
On the other hand, there's nothing that you can do about it except lose 20 points on their stupid scale or find another group. Are there other groups geared toward heavier people in your area?0 -
I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating
Many people have listed possible reasons on why you can't. Liability issue being a major one.
Also, life isn't fair.0 -
Actually... it's none of those reasons. It is because at this point, you are a liability. With a BMI of 61, you cannot physically participate in the same activities with the other members of the class because of the strain you could place on your heart. You may not want to be treated as a patient, but at this point, your obesity is a medical issue.
Please don't let this rejection be an excuse not to address your issues. Instead, use it as a motivator to get yourself into a condition where you can participate in such activities.
Best of luck and try very hard not to hold on to the negativity. It's not going to help you get anything accomplished.0 -
I don't see why you would be upset at them, I would be upset at myself, actually when I was excluded due to weight...I got fit and now the people who excluded me can't keep up with me...
I am not upset at myself at all. I am doing my very best to make changes. that don't mean never going wrong but recognising where i went wrong and trying to push forward. Seeking this was part of it, getting over my plateau. Not upset with myself one bit, am proud of myself, just annoyed about the situation here.0 -
I am sorry to hear about your experience, but feel I must point out that a BMI of 40 is not a " minor " matter.0
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I'm sure it's more of a liability issue than anything else. Someone with a BMI of 61 is probably not going to be able to do the exercise safely that they have planned.
There's no reason you need a class to get you started on a healthier lifestyle. Start tracking your calories on here, eat at a deficit and start walking if you can. Weight comes off easily when you're in the morbidly obese range and you should be able to make some great progress without a hospital to help.
This makes sense.
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When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.0
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I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating
I don't assume they are out to get me, I just feel it's not fair.
I am not trying to be an @ss here....life is not fair sometimes and we have to make choices. If you want this, you will figure out a way to get it
ETA: and I hope that one day you are able to join that group.0 -
The reality is that at your weight you truly do need a different program than someone with a BMI under 40. There are genuine health concerns that could render the advice they are giving at best moot, and at worst downright dangerous to you. If they are not qualified to properly address the health concerns of the morbidly obese, then they are absolutely doing the correct thing in excluding them from the group.
That is truly unfortunate for you, and I understand your frustration. But you must accept your situation before you can improve it. You are morbidly obese, and you need medical assistance to turn that around.0 -
I may be able to understand you not being able to keep up with the physical parts of the class but not being able to go in for nutrition? Ugh. I HATE the BMI scale, it really doesn't say much in my opinion. I'm sure you're overweight (like most of us on here, myself included!) but there's no reason you can't sit in a chair and participate in conversations about how to lose weight. I learn better in group and would be really frustrated if they wouldn't let me join, just like you are.
On the other hand, there's nothing that you can do about it except lose 20 points on their stupid scale or find another group. Are there other groups geared toward heavier people in your area?
Awww, thank you. I suppose I can concede that they would think i'd struggle with the exercise (i am not sure I would, I am OK fit), and maybe insurence stuff. But this I think strongly- that I can't even join in a group talking about healthy eating etc? Do they think I'd have nothing to contribute to it, nor benefit from it? I don't understand it.
I don't need sarcastic comments about yachts or whatever, seriously.0 -
I may be able to understand you not being able to keep up with the physical parts of the class but not being able to go in for nutrition? Ugh. I HATE the BMI scale, it really doesn't say much in my opinion. I'm sure you're overweight (like most of us on here, myself included!) but there's no reason you can't sit in a chair and participate in conversations about how to lose weight. I learn better in group and would be really frustrated if they wouldn't let me join, just like you are.
On the other hand, there's nothing that you can do about it except lose 20 points on their stupid scale or find another group. Are there other groups geared toward heavier people in your area?
YEAH, what she said!!0 -
I agree it is unfiar about girls not able to do scouts. I think all unfiar discrimination should stop.
Ok, sorry for saying 40 is minor, maybe it just seems that way to me. I appreciate it presents a real challenge to some. I just mean it seems funny to me to say someone can't attend a programme for help about weight because of the extent of their weight problem!!0 -
What wouldn't be fair is for a group of like-minded individuals to be made to include everyone under any circumstance.
It's unfortunate that you are excluded from this group, but as they are free to set their own guidelines and agenda, it's perfectly fair.
ETA: And this is coming from another guy with a +40 BMI.0
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