Asked for help, REFUSED! *rant*

joselo2

I don't see why you would be upset at them, I would be upset at myself, actually when I was excluded due to weight...I got fit and now the people who excluded me can't keep up with me...

I am not upset at myself at all. I am doing my very best to make changes. that don't mean never going wrong but recognising where i went wrong and trying to push forward. Seeking this was part of it, getting over my plateau. Not upset with myself one bit, am proud of myself, just annoyed about the situation here.

Ang108

I am sorry to hear about your experience, but feel I must point out that a BMI of 40 is not a " minor " matter.

TheEffort

I'm sure it's more of a liability issue than anything else. Someone with a BMI of 61 is probably not going to be able to do the exercise safely that they have planned.

There's no reason you need a class to get you started on a healthier lifestyle. Start tracking your calories on here, eat at a deficit and start walking if you can. Weight comes off easily when you're in the morbidly obese range and you should be able to make some great progress without a hospital to help.

This makes sense.

Contrarian

When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

nomeejerome

I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating

I don't assume they are out to get me, I just feel it's not fair.

I am not trying to be an @ss here....life is not fair sometimes and we have to make choices. If you want this, you will figure out a way to get it

ETA: and I hope that one day you are able to join that group.

stumblinthrulife

The reality is that at your weight you truly do need a different program than someone with a BMI under 40. There are genuine health concerns that could render the advice they are giving at best moot, and at worst downright dangerous to you. If they are not qualified to properly address the health concerns of the morbidly obese, then they are absolutely doing the correct thing in excluding them from the group.

That is truly unfortunate for you, and I understand your frustration. But you must accept your situation before you can improve it. You are morbidly obese, and you need medical assistance to turn that around.

joselo2

I may be able to understand you not being able to keep up with the physical parts of the class but not being able to go in for nutrition? Ugh. I HATE the BMI scale, it really doesn't say much in my opinion. I'm sure you're overweight (like most of us on here, myself included!) but there's no reason you can't sit in a chair and participate in conversations about how to lose weight. I learn better in group and would be really frustrated if they wouldn't let me join, just like you are.

On the other hand, there's nothing that you can do about it except lose 20 points on their stupid scale or find another group. Are there other groups geared toward heavier people in your area?

Awww, thank you. I suppose I can concede that they would think i'd struggle with the exercise (i am not sure I would, I am OK fit), and maybe insurence stuff. But this I think strongly- that I can't even join in a group talking about healthy eating etc? Do they think I'd have nothing to contribute to it, nor benefit from it? I don't understand it.

I don't need sarcastic comments about yachts or whatever, seriously.

ktsimons

I may be able to understand you not being able to keep up with the physical parts of the class but not being able to go in for nutrition? Ugh. I HATE the BMI scale, it really doesn't say much in my opinion. I'm sure you're overweight (like most of us on here, myself included!) but there's no reason you can't sit in a chair and participate in conversations about how to lose weight. I learn better in group and would be really frustrated if they wouldn't let me join, just like you are.

On the other hand, there's nothing that you can do about it except lose 20 points on their stupid scale or find another group. Are there other groups geared toward heavier people in your area?

YEAH, what she said!!

joselo2

I agree it is unfiar about girls not able to do scouts. I think all unfiar discrimination should stop.

Ok, sorry for saying 40 is minor, maybe it just seems that way to me. I appreciate it presents a real challenge to some. I just mean it seems funny to me to say someone can't attend a programme for help about weight because of the extent of their weight problem!!

Mother_Superior

What wouldn't be fair is for a group of like-minded individuals to be made to include everyone under any circumstance.

It's unfortunate that you are excluded from this group, but as they are free to set their own guidelines and agenda, it's perfectly fair.

ETA: And this is coming from another guy with a +40 BMI.

odusgolp

When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

Now we all know where you learned to make a pine cone bird feeder.


The circle is complete.



*I've got something in my pocket,
That belongs across my face,
I keep it very close at hand,
In a most convenient place.
I'm sure you couldn't guess it,
If you guessed a long long while.
So I'll take it out and put it on,
It's a great big brownie smile.*

CollieFit

As you're in the UK I can explain this to you.

The Adult Obesity Care Pathway of the NHS provides different services by different teams with different expertise to people at different stages of the care pathway. These services are provided in different settings... community centres, health care settings, hospitals, depending on what they are.

Google your health board and their Obesity Care Pathway for your locality may be online.

Services work like a pyramid, in what they refer to as "tiers", with the most generic services being at the bottom (tier 1) and suitable for the majority of people who may be just overweight, so you're looking at basic public health advice.... All the way to the top (usually tier 4) where there are specialist services for those who are morbidly or super morbidly obese. You are in that category.

The staff were responsible in pointing you to the services that is targeted at your level of need, which in their view is beyond basic lifestyle management. Nobody is out to get you.

bcattoes

If you want a group of weight loss buddies other than online, I'd suggest Weight Watchers.

cmcollins001

I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating

I don't assume they are out to get me, I just feel it's not fair.

Is it not fair because they helped you reach a BMI of 61 and now it's their responsibility to help you get it under control? It's not fair because you, personally, feel that it's not fair because now you want to do something and they won't "let" you? It's not fair because you don't like your other options, so who cares what their insurance costs are, their guidelines are, what they are set up to handle and who they have their plans designed to accommodate....nope, none of that matters because you want this and since you can't have this...it's just not fair? It's not fair because, somehow, you're exempt from other people's rules just because you think you should be?

Please, help me understand how this is not fair. Help me understand how you seem to be entitled to a program, one in which you apparently don't qualify, just because you think you should be.

Contrarian

When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

Now we all know where you learned to make a pine cone bird feeder.


The circle is complete.



*I've got something in my pocket,
That belongs across my face,
I keep it very close at hand,
In a most convenient place.
I'm sure you couldn't guess it,
If you guessed a long long while.
So I'll take it out and put it on,
It's a great big brownie smile.*

No. I had to learn how to make PCBFs on the STREETS.

escloflowneCHANGED

BMI is useless but when we are talking a BMI of 60+ we are talking about a 6' tall man being 450lbs. I think it's a very fair practice to exclude those people over 40 BMI.

nomeejerome

*I've got something in my pocket,
That belongs across my face,
I keep it very close at hand,
In a most convenient place.
I'm sure you couldn't guess it,
If you guessed a long long while.
So I'll take it out and put it on,
It's a great big brownie smile.*

Wow. Flashback.

Crochetluvr

Have you thought about organizing a support group of your own with people in your situation? You can exchange ideas, do light exercising, have a healthy snack. A meeting room at a local library or public building could be an option. Just a thought.

cmcollins001

I may be able to understand you not being able to keep up with the physical parts of the class but not being able to go in for nutrition? Ugh. I HATE the BMI scale, it really doesn't say much in my opinion. I'm sure you're overweight (like most of us on here, myself included!) but there's no reason you can't sit in a chair and participate in conversations about how to lose weight. I learn better in group and would be really frustrated if they wouldn't let me join, just like you are.

On the other hand, there's nothing that you can do about it except lose 20 points on their stupid scale or find another group. Are there other groups geared toward heavier people in your area?

Awww, thank you. I suppose I can concede that they would think i'd struggle with the exercise (i am not sure I would, I am OK fit), and maybe insurence stuff. But this I think strongly- that I can't even join in a group talking about healthy eating etc? Do they think I'd have nothing to contribute to it, nor benefit from it? I don't understand it.

I don't need sarcastic comments about yachts or whatever, seriously.

Let me guess, other people having an opinion other than yours is unfair as well?

tlsegar

Personally, I think the "liability" excuse is bull hockey. If it were only a group focusing on exercise then I would buy that. But if they also offer classes on nutrition and meal planning then what heck is the liability in that. It really sounds like they gave you a lazy cookie cutter response. With a bmi of 61, really you would benefit more from the nutrition side than the exercise side at this point anyway. They sound like idiots.