Asked for help, REFUSED! *rant*

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  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:

    Stupid crocheted pot holders...:angry:
    I would have loved to have done crochet and nice crafts (it is indeed my work now!!) but I had to do horrble sports and rough dirty activities, so bad stuff about that too.

    If only we could have traded. I loved the horrible sports and rough, dirty activities. Still do.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:

    Stupid crocheted pot holders...:angry:
    smiley-taunt002.gif I was in the Cub Scouts. It was fun. We did lots of cool stuff, like hiking in the mountains.

    :angry:
  • thegeordielass
    thegeordielass Posts: 208 Member
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    *Guide Leader here* Brownies and Guides has changed a lot since you all did it - when you're referring to was decades ago - I know, I was one of the 1st with the new yellow *shudders* uniform and that was early 90s! There's a lot more variety now and a different programme: and can I say as a leader, hearing a sensible suggestion from the girls about activities would be a welcome change! We're meant to be girl led these days but asking my Guides for suggestions gets 'dunno' or 'theme park' which isn't helpful for weekly meeting plans!

    Buuut... back on topic. As a fellow Geordie, we have a good NHS trust up here so make the most of it! I know my GP surgery has a weight loss clinic with a nutritionist, group meetings etc so maybe your GP can provide stuff like that there as opposed to hospital? I know everyone hates hospitals but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do - and you may find it's not as bad as you think. I have no idea how it would work in terms of individual things or group things, but you never know, you might meet some people there, make some friends in the same situation who can help each other with support? I'm sure you'll get there though - well done so far. :)
  • slim4health56
    slim4health56 Posts: 439 Member
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    My friend is 5'7" and weighs just over 500 lbs. I was walking around the building at work with her one day for exercise during lunch and a mutual friend, who just happens to be an MD, took me aside later and told me that I should not exercise with her. When asked why, he replied that I was not trained in CPR and could not handle getting her back up if she fell. While it chafed, he was right. I was being unfair to my friend by assuming that I could help if she needed it.

    I'm sorry, but what? I get the issues of liability in a structured group but the comments from the MD are misplaced and, IMO, disgusting. If you walk with a friend and the friend crashes (for whatever reason), you won't be held liable. Just dial 911. God help us all if your story is true.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:

    Stupid crocheted pot holders...:angry:
    smiley-taunt002.gif I was in the Cub Scouts. It was fun. We did lots of cool stuff, like hiking in the mountains.

    I was not in scouts of either gender, but went hiking and camping with my family and did crafts. It was like Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, combined! Without uniforms!
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    My friend is 5'7" and weighs just over 500 lbs. I was walking around the building at work with her one day for exercise during lunch and a mutual friend, who just happens to be an MD, took me aside later and told me that I should not exercise with her. When asked why, he replied that I was not trained in CPR and could not handle getting her back up if she fell. While it chafed, he was right. I was being unfair to my friend by assuming that I could help if she needed it.

    I'm sorry, but what? I get the issues of liability in a structured group but the comments from the MD are misplaced and, IMO, disgusting. If you walk with a friend and the friend crashes (for whatever reason), you won't be held liable. Just dial 911. God help us all if your story is true.

    Pretty sure the MD's comments had nothing to do with liability and everything to do with keeping the friend as safe and healthy when exercising as possible. You may not know this, but CPR does not save most people, even when performed by professionals and with a defibrillator present. When it's performed by a layperson, well, the percentage saved falls into the single digits. Best to avoid needing it in the first place.
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
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    I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating

    I don't assume they are out to get me, I just feel it's not fair.
    Not trying to be horrible but at 29 stone I think you would struggle to keep up with someone at 18-20 stone exercise wise they probably don't want to be liable if anything happens to you while exercising e.g heart attack etc.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    My friend is 5'7" and weighs just over 500 lbs. I was walking around the building at work with her one day for exercise during lunch and a mutual friend, who just happens to be an MD, took me aside later and told me that I should not exercise with her. When asked why, he replied that I was not trained in CPR and could not handle getting her back up if she fell. While it chafed, he was right. I was being unfair to my friend by assuming that I could help if she needed it.

    So you're not able to CALL for help if she needed it? Isn't that what we have emergency services for? Sounds like a piss-poor excuse to me. You're being unfair to your friend by abandoning her in her efforts to get healthy, not by "assuming you could help her if she needed it".

    Maybe she was advised not to put her friend in the situation as to eliminate the possibility that she may injure or put herself into harm. Otherwise, I would let my kids run w/ scissors, because I can always call 9-1-1 if and when one of them pokes an eye out.

    Yeah so I guess instead then the person could just walk on her own, still have a problem & need CPR or whatever & nobody be around to call for help anyway. :noway:
  • shadus
    shadus Posts: 424 Member
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    I'm sure their recommendation to seek help at the hospital was purely due to liability issues. Try not to take it personally.

    This is the harsh, but true answer. They're basically concerned that if you followed their general advice on exercise and such that you might die due to being unfit. Which is why the general advice on all diet programs and exercise programs say, "Consult a physician before embarking on a new diet and exercise regime."

    Edit: to put it in lbs perspective...

    They put an upper limit of 40 bmi.

    At my height 40 bmi is 271 Lbs.
    At my heigh 61 bmi is 413 Lbs.

    They're concerned that someone who is +142 lbs would have heart issues if they tried to keep up with others at a lower weight... and that isn't an unfounded concern.

    Consulting a physician and personal trainer would likely be better advice for you.

    Baring that, do the research yourself and be careful and listen to your body.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,473 Member
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    if YOU want to lose weight, then lose it
    how bad do you want it?
  • pinkpatron
    pinkpatron Posts: 154
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    OP - they probably don't want you dropping dead on them in the middle of a class.

    Go to the gym, get a trainer. Start slow.
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
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    OP, I'm sure there are others who feel the same way you do and would like to lose weight by healthy eating and exercise, even if their BMI is above 40. Maybe you should see what the hospital program entails as it may be the same program with some minor variations that keep exercise safe for those with a higher BMI. You may find that you will be involved with others that want to experience the same type of weight loss goals that you desire.

    If the hospital program is vastly different, you can look in to other alternatives!! By the time you reach a BMI of 40, you will be able to start your own class!! You will be an expert with a lot of knowledge to offer others!!
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
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    OP, in case you worry that it might take for ever to lower your BMI, I just want to let you know that I lowered my BMI from 45.7 to 37.3 in just under four month with just walking 30 minutes a day , but eating in the most disciplined manner ( and mostly succeeding ) way possible. I am 40 years plus older than you and figure lowering your BMI doing what MFP suggests ( and with a MD's OK) should be very do-able for you.
    Good Luck and come back, some of us don't bite and give pretty good advise.....:o). !
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    When I was a little girl, my brother was in the Cub Scouts. They got to do all kinds of really cool stuff and went camping, etc. I wanted to join. I was not allowed to, because I was a girl. Instead, I had to join Brownies, where they made us wear ugly brown dresses, and did stupid crafts and ****. It wasn't fair, either.

    OMG! The same here! Stupid boys always got to have fun! I hate crafts to this day! :angry:

    Stupid crocheted pot holders...:angry:

    Awww.....not all crocheted potholders are stupid. :)

    a0707a62-03e7-45f3-b550-a1c540f4593a_zpsdb77c167.jpg
  • slim4health56
    slim4health56 Posts: 439 Member
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    Pretty sure the MD's comments had nothing to do with liability and everything to do with keeping the friend as safe and healthy when exercising as possible. You may not know this, but CPR does not save most people, even when performed by professionals and with a defibrillator present. When it's performed by a layperson, well, the percentage saved falls into the single digits. Best to avoid needing it in the first place.


    And? If your friend is 500 lbs and working, there's just as much stress taking a shower and dressing or getting in and out of a vehicle back and forth to work as walking around a building. Sorry, but I'm still completely appalled. Unless you're "forcing" this friend to walk at an inappropriate pace or distance, then I stand behind my original comment. As to cardiac arrest, 88% of the time it happens at home (not out walking with a friend) and CPR can double the rate of survivability...just in case you didn't know. Does your friend know why you stopped walking with her?
  • red_road
    red_road Posts: 761 Member
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    I know it is entitle to make it's own rules but I just think those rules are not fair. I don't want to have to go to a hospital to get help, I want help in that kind of setting. I really feel I would benefit from it, so I don't know why I can't. I think I could keep up because I have as good brain as anyone and I always try my best. I don't know why they assume I couldn't. I don't know that there are any other groups out there, this is the main local organisation for this sort of thing. It's just really frustrating
    I don't think it's fair that a yacht costs hundreds of thousands of dollars and I can't afford one. They should sell them for $10 so everyone can have one.

    No need to be condescending to the man! Just because he is upset does not mean that he does not understand the concept of "life isn't fair"
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Hmmmmm I'd be interested to see more of this context. Is this a non-profit organization? Where does it say you can't participate if you have a BMI of over 40, and please show the liability? I think I would want more clarification, and want to see in black and white their policy. If it's an organization for profit you might have more of a leg to stand on.

    If you feel you were discriminated against maybe talk to a lawyer.
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Perhaps not a hospital per se, but consulting with your primary care physician is advisable in all case/ stages of weightloss/fitness. Just to establish a basic health baseline that is unique to you. No doctor I know would ever recommend against leading a healthier lifestyle, but they may be a good resource for you to build momentum and keep up the work your doing because they can give you a picture of your overall health and direct you towards resources (like the ones you are seeking now) that would welcome you.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Please don't be offended by being told you need the team "the next floor up" :wink: it's all in the interest of you getting the best possible service for you. Do yourself a favour and check them out. :flowerforyou:

    Didnt sound like they told him to go to the next tier though just go to a hospital. They didnt offer him much help, but maybe the staff on that tier level are just ignorant and dont understand how their own tier system works.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    And remember even a Tier 4 service will be completely free of charge. The NHS is great like that. :wink:

    Is a tier 4 only for surgical intervention? If you were at a teir 4 but decided that you didnt want surgery would there be other options?

    Why the H! cant the states do something like this...no instead we got Obummercare :grumble:

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