WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2023
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Good morning ladies!
Lost power for an hour last night, many in my county did and still have outages. I didn't think it was that windy, but apparently a substation had problems. Very glad it's back on so I could get my coffee and check in here.Barbie and Rebecca and Sue probably got a more powerful wind than me.
Ginny - hope you are feeling better today. Some of this crud seems to hang on for a long time.
Lisa - I was wondering if the family had moved to Hawaii yet. Good to hear of their last minute visit. Hope the doc visit went well for you.
Heather - I'm sure it's a relief to get your POA out of the way. Peace of mind for you and your loved ones with this in place. I need to redo my will but still undecided on a few things. In the meantime, getting a beneficiary listed on my accounts will take care of. It bypasses the estate so any $$ I have left when I'm dead will automatically go to who I choose without the government grabbing some and having a say-so from what I understand. The tax man got grabby enough this year.
Piriformis stretch - I appreciate the reminder from you gals about this. I used to do it or something similar faithfully but like Ginny says, unless we're hurting, we tend to forget about it.
Roger and chicken coops - we spent over an hour looking at the "floor models". He was great, pointing out the benefits and possible problems with several of them and offering solutions. We measured, walked in them, the whole nine yards. My DH would have NEVER been that patient! Now I need to get someone in to "prep" the site when the weather gets warmer. Was going to do this anyhow, chickens or not. If I get chickens, I'm getting enough to also supply eggs for Roger and his wife.
I'm realizing that before my DH became so fragile, he was the helpful "Roger" to many folks in the neighborhood. At the time, I thought "that's nice" but now I realize how much that was appreciated by the recipients. In a sense, he paid it forward and I'm getting the benefits. Very, very grateful. Like Roger, he loved being busy using his carpentry and mechanical skills.
Barbara - Roger's son is getting the John Deere mower. By the way, I didn't realize Joe was doing some biking. Good for him! And love hearing about your walks to the mailbox and back. Hope you didn't blow away.
Michele - how long are you staying in Florida?
I think I'm going to bite the bullet and get a new dishwasher, possibly new garbage disposal. I have a leak under the sink. Started to smell something musty when I'd open the cabinet doors, and last night finally yanked everything out. Luckily, I keep things stored in large plastic tubs. Sure enough, one had water in it and a few things will go into the garbage can. No big loss = decluttering, lol.
I can't figure out where the leak is. I ran the garbage disposal, and the sprayer, nothing. I replaced the tub with an empty one and will keep an eye on it. Grateful I caught the drip and it didn't get the bottom of the cupboard or the floor wet. Whew.
Haven't used the dishwasher for several years, it sprung a leak and I preferred to do dishes in the sink anyhow=warm water was great for the arthritis in my hands. Since I got the new water heater, it takes forever to get hot water to the kitchen sink, and in cold weather I just carry the dishpan to the laundry sink. That's my weight lifting routine, lol. Dishwashers have the capability to pre-heat the water so that's what I'll need.
Back into town this morning for the big grocery shop before the big freeze starting tomorrow. Nighttime temps into the teens on Thursday night and remaining in the 30's with snow for the week after if the Hippy Dippy Weatherman is right.
OK ladies, wrapping it up (finally).
Make it a super day!
Lanette
SW WA State
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Grudges
There is a huge difference between holding a grudge and feeling a resentful. A grudge implies vindictiveness, a belief that one will feel better when one shows the other person how angry one is, and a desire to pay the offender back.
A person may feel resentment or hurt but not hold a grudge. Alternative responses are: forgiving the other person, having a respectful discussion, or letting go of the resentment and/or hurt without addressing it with the other person.
Or...the hurt person might hold a grudge. But not necessarily.
Karen in Virginia
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Lanette - it isn't the POA I'm doing right now it's the Advance Directions to Refuse Treatment. Sort of living will if I'm not able to make my own decisions and not expected to recover. I have no interest in lingering on. They just will not give me CPR etc. POA is another matter. I really need one for DH as he keeps his money very private.
I know what savings accounts he has, but no means of accessing them if he needs care and is incapacitated. I don't know his passwords and his computer has facial recognition. 😳 I have minimal income and not huge savings.
I will try again. And again.
My friend B is on the train from Glasgow and is drinking wine.
I have booked my DSIL's birthday lunch in London for July 14th. Hooray!
Love Heather UK xxxxxx4 -
Prepped for the Blizzard that is coming on Thursday. Fortunately it is son's day off so he does not have to go out into it. <img src="https://scontent.ffcm1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/332380205_474496454899048_6105653857874229072_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=ePbHNMj3QVsAX8G7vH4&tn=jkUtbmWaWwITDzbb&_nc_ht=scontent.ffcm1-1.fna&oh=00_AfCokOPEP-jlxB18btRTzhe2U8oMd03s8HU_DlNW16pq-A&oe=63F8F0A2" alt="May be an image of 1 person, child, flower and text that says 'You never know just how enormous a small act of kindness can be. be. -Doe Zantamata'"/>
Allie saw this image on Facebook and did a double take. Looks like a slightly older Miles.
Love the sentiment.
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Our son and daughter are in the process of emptying our home in Oregon. A neighbor there is purchasing our home. I know that DH needs a one story home, but losing my loved home is heartbreaking. 💔19
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We had wind last night but not enough to make Bessie move from her bed to the corner next to my bed. The power went off just for an instant overnight but otherwise all is well. Welcome Barbara from Ontario I have friends in Peterborough and hear regularly about how brutal your winters can be. I hope you will come back daily and make use of the wisdom and encouragement of the members of this friendly community. Here is a great article I read:
https://mailchi.mp/drchatterjee/foods-to-improve-our-eating-habits?e=8a2e6834d8 Barbie in NW WA 4 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Lanette - it isn't the POA I'm doing right now it's the Advance Directions to Refuse Treatment. Sort of living will if I'm not able to make my own decisions and not expected to recover. I have no interest in lingering on. They just will not give me CPR etc. POA is another matter. I really need one for DH as he keeps his money very private. I know what savings accounts he has, but no means of accessing them if he needs care and is incapacitated. I don't know his passwords and his computer has facial recognition. 😳 I have minimal income and not huge savings.
I will try again. And again.
My friend B is on the train from Glasgow and is drinking wine.
I have booked my DSIL's birthday lunch in London for July 14th. Hooray!
Love Heather UK xxxxxx
Heather - I knew what you meant.
In Washington State, we have a "Medical Power of Attorney" which seems to be the same thing as your Advance Directions. It stipulates if I'm unable to make my own decisions about medical treatment, that a doctor and my Medical POA designee can make whatever decisions are appropriate according to my wishes. It came in handy when DH was in the hospital. It was obvious he wasn't going to get better, so the doc and I decided to put him on "Comfort Care" which basically kept him comfortable with morphine as his body shut down. It was what he wanted.
Lanette9 -
this was Miles and Aslan in Carmines room this morning,while Mommy was getting ready for work .lol....
Morning ladies
Here with sleeping Miles
Carmine and I to my hairdresser today,Tracy and Kyle to intake with therapist today hoping both go well..
Rainy and a bit snowy in the hills around here..will be icy here Thursday morning.. dont like Ice.. ugh3 -
I’m on vacation this week and looking forward to some relaxing time at home and some meal planning.
Sounds like everyone has so much going on! I think I’m going to try the shower stretch you all seem to be talking about. I do a couple stretches each morning that have been a game changer for my lower back. I sit on the ottoman and lift one leg up to cross my other and sit for 90 seconds then do the other. This was recommended by my chiropractor when I had a lower back issue and I do daily to keep the issue at bay. Hoping that losing lbs will help as well !
Have a good day everyone !
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Ginny - From my perspective, it seems that cold has gone on for weeks, far too long. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Margaret - I really like that image, and the resemblance to Miles is just startling!
Karen VA - It sounds as if you've been doing a LOT of headwork. Don't forget, too, that you are a gift. To your Enie, to us, to your son, to Griffin and Jilli, and even your ex-husband, who you've protected from your son's anger all these years by shouldering that burden of blame for the divorce. You gave your son time to mature, and that is a massive gift. I'm so sorry you lived with all that resentment and anger all these years, and so glad you're here with us.
Katla, dear heart - I am so sorry that the sale of your Oregon home is breaking your heart. No advice, just tremendous sympathy. Knowing its the best thing for you and your husband doesn't help the hurt, and grieving that loss is understandable.
Machka - I quite like your post, this is a similar message I internalized decades ago. It continues to remind me that I have choices.
It's part of my reaction to self-pity on my part. Such a useless emotion, and I genuinely need to stop feeding it.
@Jeepbarbie253 , Barb in Ontario, welcome! You'll fit right in... As far as dwelling on the massive number pounds you and your husband need to lose, it's how we sabotage ourselves, setting goals that aren't useful for our daily lives. You might try setting your goals for a day or a week. The way this thread is set up, it lends itself well to creating goals for a month. Even then, I only set a goal of "being lighter," because the numbers stress me out. If I've gained even a few ounces, I feel I've failed and head for the fridge.
Much love to everyone...
Lisa in AR
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Good morning ladies!
Katla so sorry the time has come to sell your home. It sounds like you are grieving even while you know it's best for you and DH. Such an emotional loss.
Margaret good luck with the blizzard! May you be safe and warm and dry.
Last night when my dad was doing my parents laundry, he remarked that none of it was from my mom. Either she stopped changing her clothes or something else weird is going on. I hate to get into her personal space, but it may be time. She just laughed off the issue, which likely means she has no memory of it. She does change from pajamas to street clothes every day. So where did her dirty clothes go?
Edited to add: Never mind. I peeked in her room and found some. (Yay?) Dad will have to learn to pick them all up.
Annie in Delaware
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Lisa ~ Your message about the two Indians is spot on.
Heather ~ So sorry that John is unwilling to share important information with you about his personal accounts. That is sad.
Allie ~ Love the photo of Miles under the desk with the cat. Reminds me of the photo of JFK jr under the President's desk in the White House.
Lanette ~ Hope you can get your new dishwasher and get the leak fixed soon. I have been using my dishwasher a lot more lately and noticed that the water bill has not gone up that much more.
Katla ~ Know that you are mourning the sell of your house. Hugs!
Trying to get more fiber into our diet is difficult but that's what DH's dr has prescribed.
Carol in GA
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Lanette- my leak under the sink was my faucet. So check that too, especially since you haven't used dishwasher.1
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Carol - a note about fiber supplements - most of them are psyllium fiber, but if that isn't tolerated well, try acacia fiber like "Heather's Tummy Fiber". I buy it on Amazon although I seldom use it these days.
Annie in Delaware3 -
1311310
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Lisa— Thank you for your wise words. I am sad for the loss of my loved home & I understand the importance of a one level home for DH. I miss dear friends in Oregon.
Our adult kids in Illinois and Virginia don’t seem to understand the loss of community and leaving dear friends behind.
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Welcome newbies! (((hugs))) to those who need them.
Kim, you have a good point. Some of the best talks I had with my girls were when we were driving. We both had to pay attention to something else and we could just talk and not get too upset by what was being said.
Oh yeah, Barbara, those sugar gliders are just the cutest, little things. Not for me, but they're just too sweet and Lexi loves hers. She has two and she brings them out to watch tv with her and they cuddle in her sweatshirt and she strokes them. It's quite darling, but they're so tiny! I'd be afraid of losing them.
Wow Karen, talk about appropriate timing! You're finding all sorts of "gifts" all over the place. So happy for you. You're a gift to us too! Thank you for sharing those links.
Good luck Margaret! I'll be thinking about you! We've got one more day off school today for a teacher prep. Snow is supposed to start falling around noon. They're saying we could get upwards of 21" in 72 hours!!! WTHeck?!? We may not have school this week!
--That photo really DOES look like an older Miles, Allie! WOAH!
I'm sorry about your home, Katla. I know the feeling. We've just finally closed on my Mom's home on the lake. It's gone. It's heartbreaking. Sending lots of big (((hugs))) to you.
I think of that wolves message a lot Lisa. So important to know which wolf to feed each day otherwise we get consumed by anger and what's going on inside or outside.
Good luck with getting John to share more Heather. Freddy always says he will and he tells me that it's all "written down in the cabinet", but he never sits down to talk about things. Makes me a little nervous, but I have to admit, I haven't brought it up either, so that's on me.
21-When you recognize someone is struggling, offer words of support... I try, but recognizing is a huge part of it.
Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN5 -
Hi Gals,
So tried the standing stretch it is great but not getting the sore spot for me… DARN thought this might be the ticket. But I do think I will keep it in my routine. It is a bit of a balance test too…and that is good for me.
See that fiber is being discussed and I have to say if I keep my water/herbal tea quantity up and eat about 1.5 times as much fiber as MFP says I need (and not a fiber supplement but actual food) I find that it is easier to keep to calories, not deal with the hungry-ies, and lose weight. For me I the fiber rich food means a huge pile of veggies over a day so I am truly full. This would not work for everyone but it is one more of the choices to try, as we each try to find the system that we can incorporate to make it a lifestyle not a diet.
There is a non-profit group here called “save the redwoods” they do fund raising then buy land that is redwood forest, and help create state or federal parks. They recently bought 700+ acres in Sonoma County and are creating their first park that they will run. I have a friend that is involved with the group she got invited to do a docent lead hike in the park (it is 3-5 years before it will be open to the public) I got to go as her plus one. It was a full day out – as the park is about 2 ¾ hour drive from home we hiked about 3.5 miles and had a picnic lunch. It was nice to get away. It is a mixed forest, Redwoods, California Bay (Umbellularia californica), Douglas fir, and some understory bits. It is not as awe inspiring as a full redwood forest is, but I really liked seeing the mix. The bigger challenge is access, the road is long off the freeway and no services (food, gas, restroom) for about 40 miles and horrible signage. The signage could be fixed – but the other issues are serious too. It will be interesting to hear how this goes.
Smiles Kim in N. California
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Lisa— Thank you for your wise words. I am sad for the loss of my loved home & I understand the importance of a one level home for DH. I miss dear friends in Oregon.
Our adult kids in Illinois and Virginia don’t seem to understand the loss of community and leaving dear friends behind.
Your kids are trying to do what they feel is best to care for you and your husband. It may be that they are overwhelmed with the transition from just being your kids to needing to assist in your wellbeing and decision making processes while still raising families of their own and maintaining their lives and relationships outside of you and your DH. It doesn't mean they don't understand your loss and feel for you.
Okie in the TX Hill Country7
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