WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2023

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  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,269 Member
    edited March 2023
    LisaInArkansas wrote: »

    Debbie, no advice just many hugs. My ex-mother-in-law, I would have happily given to Goodwill. She operated at the top of her lungs, which I despise, and even more unhappily, wanted me to call her "Mom." My ex-husband expressed this to me, and I told him that I came pre-installed with a mother who I loved beyond reason. I was never going to call her that. Really frosted her flakes.

    And speaking of frosted, a chill woke me up about an hour ago, and would NOT subside until I curled up under a heated blanket. I despise shivering, it always leaves me with a headache from clenching my teeth.

    And... the rain came in, will stick around most of the morning, and possibly longer At 48° and 97% humidity, you might as well put my feet and hands and all joints in a deep freeze. Tired, achy and cranky.

    Love y'all,
    Lisa in AR


    The mouths on both dh and MIL are the worst I have heard. The f-bomb every few seconds-cussing at each other and the yelling is crazy. I don't ever remember my parents cussing at all and for sure never said the fbomb! Dh will say it 10 times in one sentence. He knows it really bothers me but when he is mad, that doesn't matter. When that starts, I tune him out totally because I don't want to hear it.
    My former MIL had her issues(and they were really big, but she was on meds for them) but she only showed love for me. I was the daughter she never had after having three boys. I had the opportunity a few years back to spend some time with her when she came out to visit her other son. I got the chance to thank her for all that love and told her I didn't appreciate her enough back then. Having dealt with current one the past 30 plus years, I really miss the closeness I had with Shirley. She is now in a dementia ward. She still knows who I am and I stay in touch with her by sending letters. Texts to former father in law. I thank him all the time for how wonderful they both treated me, even now that I am not legally part of the family.


    Totally agree with your other comment about too much stuff. Dh is bringing more stuff in and it is really getting to me.There are no free spots down the hallway now, even blocked half the door to my sewing room. Not like I have even been in there in months. That is a huge project for after I semi-retire in Sept. The walls are covered too. All kinds of pictures, etc. No blank wall space. I have too much stuff too and need to work on that. Mine is mainly craft supplies and then the toys for the daycare are over flowing. SO looking forward to when I can give it all away.
    After being in this house for almost 31yrs, there is just too much stuff and neither of us is one to get rid of stuff very often.
    I was doing great for a while- had some mystery shops that paid to donate to Goodwill. I did about 15 or so of them and each time I gave at least two boxes away. Was sad when they stopped doing those shops.

  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    Carol hope your DH gets a clear diagnosis and it is a good one!

    I did my measurements, thank you Kylia! I also weighed in at up half a pound. Doesn't matter much, I know it will come down. My diet efforts always seem to start with a bump. When I get that stationary bike set up next week, then I should see some steady losses!

    My dad and I are in the first stage of taxes: procrastination. I just got an invite to lunch tomorrow and I have to decline, so I can keep time open for taxes. That will help my diet anyway.

    Annie in Delaware
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,836 Member
    Carol ... lifting both you and your husband up in prayer!
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,269 Member
    bwcetc wrote: »
    Kim ... so, so sorry to hear your mom has fallen and praying that her surgery was successful. Long road ahead for both of you. Hugs.

    For the first time in over a decade, my husband and I will be receiving a fairly large tax refund. We think we are going to use it to build a raised bed garden. Because we have so much wildlife walking around in the back property (and a misbehaved dog), we need to enclose anything we build with wire fencing. I also want the garden to be pretty as well as functional. More of a hobby garden really. If we hope to have anything this summer, we need to get moving on it though.

    More winter weather forecasted so my plans this weekend are to do some more major decluttering in the basement (decluttering is really too tame of a word for what I'm doing) and cleaning out the kitchen refrigerator and freezer. I find that when I feel like I have control over my living spaces, my health goals follow suit and become more manageable as well. "Stuff" just zaps my mental energy.

    Beth near Buffalo

    I have two raised beds that my parents built for me for my birthday quite a few years ago. I LOVE them.
    Mom has a LOT that dad built and the past two years since he has been gone, they are getting used but the main garden hasnt(hopefully this year it will).
    I wish I had more of them. I save those for my favorite veggies. One is for my tomatoes and one is for my cucumber. Everything else is in big pots and drip system.
    I have always had a garden and I love it. Dh complains about the cost of the water but I just tell him he spends a lot more on his hobbies or going out to eat with his friends so to basically shut up about it. I don't spend much money on anything else and I am still earning money.
    I will help mom in her garden and I will get produce from her but I still need that fresh veggies and not have to drive an hour to get them.
    Mine are huge. Don't think they need to be quite so deep but it works. They are 8ftx4ftx4ft.
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,706 Member
    1948CWB wrote: »
    If some of you remember, my DH had a colonoscopy about two weeks ago and has been feeling very off. We went to the ER yesterday and when we were finally seen 4 hrs later, they said his red blood cells were very low. Now they are thinking that he has internal bleeding going on. Will be doing several test today and tomorrow to try and diagnose the source. Prayers would be appreciated.

    Carol in GA

    Carol - sending prayers and good thoughts for your husband and you. Hope the tests show nothing major that a little time won't take care of. (((HUGS)))) <3

    Lanette
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,792 Member
    edited March 2023
    Carol - Big hugs! At least they are getting to it ASAP. I know it's a big worry for you. <3

    Yes Lanette - It looks huge to me! It's going right out into the side reveal!

    House prices are falling nation wide. Prices of raw materials are rising. I think it will all be OK in the end, but I can’t help worrying a bit. Thank goodness they currently have a view of the sea! Even though their main bathroom toilet is out of order. :sad:

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,902 Member
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD, I know there is much I should do that might help. Things like writing down my feelings then ceremoniously burning them, while dancing around. Or buying cheap China dishes and labeling each one with a thing my family has done I though calluse or rude. Then marching to the nearest brick wall, putting safety cones around, and hurling each one. That's my favorite actually. I have always told my sisters that I want to confront them, listing all the times they fell short in thinking of my feelings in certain times of my life. Just to say they out loud. But I think after that our relationships would never be the same. So probably most should be left unsaid. I could list them each on a piece of paper, put in a Mason jar and address each individually. Maybe draw a picture on how to let that hurt go. Or an action to honor myself in having to go through that, or feel that.

    Yes the washing, cutting, saute-ing, boiling, or braising is all part of eating healthy isn't it? Its easy to open a package and scarf down the contents. But spending time cooking something, and eating that, well it gives yourself honor and respect you deserve.
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,269 Member
    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    Ginny - what will you do when you retire? Do you have a bucket list? I admit, I still miss some parts of work - some of the neat tasks I performed and some of the people. If I could have designed my "retirement" I would have kept working 2 days a week. It was so nice to feel needed and a part of a team I respected, and that I was making a contribution.


    Lanette B)
    SW WA State with a few flakes of snow on the deck left over from before breakfast.

    That is what dh did- He took early retirement because it was available- They had an 85 and out clause that there was a rumor they were going to pull.(years worked plus age equal 85 to get full pension). He had had double hip replacement twice by that time. He didn't have the age to fully retire as he was only 52 at the time. They offered to have him come back with restrictions on how many hours he could work and still get his full pension so he took it. He wants to continue doing this until at least he can start pulling from his 401K which will be this summer. Next March I can start pulling SS(taking half of his because it is more than what I would get with mine)
    It isn't a great job but no learning curve- he has done it all these years and has trained many of the ones that have come after him(including my daycare girls step grandpa, that is how I met her).
    He did take six months off after he retired before going back part time. He was working two days a week before covid hit and they needed him.
    They called him this morning to ask if he could come in- everyone called in sick in the deli- told them sorry but no. He was heading to his mom's.
    His friend who works for the sheriff's department in Sac is looking into doing the same thing- he works in book keeping so his job isn't physically hard. He will be 62 in Sept. He has enough money coming in but wants the job to pay for his medical
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,269 Member
    1948CWB wrote: »
    If some of you remember, my DH had a colonoscopy about two weeks ago and has been feeling very off. We went to the ER yesterday and when we were finally seen 4 hrs later, they said his red blood cells were very low. Now they are thinking that he has internal bleeding going on. Will be doing several test today and tomorrow to try and diagnose the source. Prayers would be appreciated.

    Carol in GA

    Prayers said- healing for your husband and peace for you. Praying they can get it fixed and he is feeling better very soon
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,153 Member
    Carol- sending healing prayers your husbands way..and you take time for you also.
    Signed the papers for my taxes they will get efiled either today or monday.. im getting a nice refund which will go into savings
    Also found a Fisher Price water table for Miles on Facebook marketplace for 30.00 and picked that up for him.. he loves playing with water ,they were outside playing when I pulled in and he saw me and he broke out in a huge grin..
    He loves it.. it came with some little toys and a couple of balls and he was chucking those on the ground.. so it went over well..
    Im home and fed Alfie and now going to relax for the weekend get some laundry done,and start packing what I can for the trip.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited March 2023
    DH had breakfast this morning & he has been sleeping this afternoon. I have gone to see him a few times. I hope this rest is improving his wellbeing. ❤️
  • drkatiebug
    drkatiebug Posts: 1,981 Member
    Katla, so happy you have your user name back. Even more happy that your DH is improving.

    Carol, prayers for your husband and for you.

    I got my hair done this morning and my eyebrows waxed. They were way overdue. I feel better.

  • minicooper452
    minicooper452 Posts: 653 Member
    Welcome newbies and returnees! (((hugs))) to those who need them.

    WOOHOO!!! Katla49is back to her old self... Thanks Pip! We love you either way.

    Debbie, God bless you. That's pretty big of DH to actually be angry at his mom for disrespecting "you" (in your absence) and then apologizing for ranting at you when he got home. I agree with Karen. It might be good for him to vent to you and see you as an ally and confidante. His mother is a real piece'o'work. It's really too bad that he can't just walk away and make her a ward of the state and let them deal with her.

    I do wonder what facilities do with people like this? I mean seriously. You're paying a fee to be there, but you can't treat people like they're your personal servants. So how do they deal with nasty clients? They must have them. They can't not care for them. Just curious. These are the things I think about when my mind starts to wander.

    HEY Barbara!!! I'm coming too! I love babies, burping and don't mind changing diapers.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS RITA!!

    HAPPY FRIDAY and HAPPY WEEKEND! Hope y'all have a good one!
    3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive.
    Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,792 Member
    Rita - A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. :D<3:D<3

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,706 Member
    Rita! Happy Birthday! <3 Lots of March birthdays. I think Debbie's is next Wednesday?

    Lanette B)
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,074 Member
    Happy birthday Rita!

    Carol - hope tests go well and they find out what is going on with your DH.

    Kim - hope your mom's surgery went well and she is more comfortable now. Thinking of you as you navigate this situation.

    Got groceries bought this morning and dog groomer is here now grooming the dog. It has been raining off and on and it is cold.

    Everyone take care, Sue in WA
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    Happy birthday Rita!

    Annie in Delaware
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,269 Member
    Happy birthday Rita- hope you are having a wonderful day
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    edited March 2023
    minicooper452 wrote: »
    Welcome newbies and returnees! (((hugs))) to those who need them.

    WOOHOO!!! Katla49is back to her old self... Thanks Pip! We love you either way.

    Debbie, God bless you. That's pretty big of DH to actually be angry at his mom for disrespecting "you" (in your absence) and then apologizing for ranting at you when he got home. I agree with Karen. It might be good for him to vent to you and see you as an ally and confidante. His mother is a real piece'o'work. It's really too bad that he can't just walk away and make her a ward of the state and let them deal with her.

    I do wonder what facilities do with people like this? I mean seriously. You're paying a fee to be there, but you can't treat people like they're your personal servants. So how do they deal with nasty clients? They must have them. They can't not care for them. Just curious. These are the things I think about when my mind starts to wander.

    HEY Barbara!!! I'm coming too! I love babies, burping and don't mind changing diapers.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS RITA!!

    HAPPY FRIDAY and HAPPY WEEKEND! Hope y'all have a good one!
    3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive.
    Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN



    In fact, all the private facilities I know of can and will discharge people from care for disruptive and offensive behavior, especially someone who is doing it volitionally. It’s spelled out in the contract that is signed by the resident. Just like they can and will discharge a patient who needs a respirator or has a serious transmissable disease. Anything they aren’t equipped to handle constitutes a reason for involuntary discharge. While there are some specialized facilities that are better equipped to deal with violent or disruptive memory care patients, that wouldn’t apply to Debbie’s MIL.

    If the facility accepts Medicare and/or Medicaid, they have to jump through more hoops to discharge a disruptive resident, but it can still be done. In any case, it’s a long, arduous procedure and there has to be a comprehensive plan of care for discharge and another facility or family member has to accept the resident into care before they can be discharged.

    There are protocols and procedures, of course, but facilities have consultants who are experts at executing the legal involuntary discharge of a disruptive resident, believe me.

    In Virginia, the “bed of last resort” law allows state psychiatric hospitals to admit patients involuntarily in mental health crises if no private facility will take them after they have been discharged from another private facility.

    Thus, your comment about being made a ward of the state is quite accurate. That is likely the only way a person like that could be cared for…as a ward of the state in a state psychiatric hospital. Not where I would want my family member to go, but then I have never had a family member like Debbie’s MIL.
    ---
    As an aside, this is way more than is required to discharge an adolescent who has aged out of the foster care system.
    ---
    Karen in Virginia
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Rita!!! Happy Birthday!!! t3337.gif
  • myvt9v4crh
    myvt9v4crh Posts: 391 Member
    I am looking at weather news reporting on tornado damage in NW Arkansas. I hope Lisa is safe. 🤞🏻
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    Pip is that post above from Katla????
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    Katla did you get kicked out of your user name again????!!!
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,361 Member
    Stats for the day

    Walk w/family- 1hr 39min 18sec, 46elev, 3.01ap, 86ahr, 107mhr, 5.93mi= 460c
    Strava app= 616c
    Housecleaning etc- 2hrs 50min 2sec, vacuum, dust, laundry, fold and put away, make dog treats, make new hummingbird food, repack Bette for camping trip, move living room around for new couch= 792c

    Total cal 1252
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,361 Member
    fanncy0626 wrote: »
    Pip is that post above from Katla????

    Yes, katla is now using her preferred user name katla49
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    I did my yoga and aerobic walking Yay!

    I ate 1104 calories today for a deficit of 386 Yay!

    I need to try to do the aerobic walking before dinner because my body is wide awake now. I also need to give my knee a good rest on Sunday. I'm really working it every day which isn't right.

    My dad and I procrastinated instead of doing taxes. We will try again tomorrow.

    Annie in Delaware
  • okiewoman510
    okiewoman510 Posts: 1,319 Member
    myvt9v4crh wrote: »
    I am looking at weather news reporting on tornado damage in NW Arkansas. I hope Lisa is safe. 🤞🏻
    pipcd34 wrote: »
    fanncy0626 wrote: »
    Pip is that post above from Katla????

    Yes, katla is now using her preferred user name katla49

    Looks like she is logged in as the “wrong” user name again.

    Okie

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