Reassurance and Motivation

CollegeKidLosingWeight

I’m 5’7”, 272 pounds, and in my early 20s. I know I need to lose weight, and have spent this week coming to terms with my size and making diet and exercise plans. I purchased a food scale, got an eating journal, and got a gym membership.

Touring the gym and signing up was intimidating, and I went for the first time today to assess where I was (I know I’m out of shape, but how out of shape?). I was embarrassed walking through the gym in my clingy athletic clothes around all the fit and in shape people. I was even more embarrassed when I felt myself jiggle around while on the treadmill and get out of breath pretty quickly.

Normal walking is fine, even a brisk walk, but when I started adding any incline I realized how heavy and out of shape I really am. I was panting like crazy and didn’t have much stamina.

I went back to the locker room and was looking at myself in the mirror. I started thinking that with how much weight I’ve gained, especially in my midsection, I would never be able to lose it.

Coming out of obesity denial and seeing how big and out of shape I am is really discouraging me. I know it was just a bad first day, and it’ll get better as I get fitter and more comfortable, but I’m really in need of some motivation and reassurance as I truly embark my weight loss journey.

snowflake954

All normal. Those fit people had their first day too. Remember that you don't know their stories. When you feel out of place just think that several of them might have been obese to start. This should encourage you, not bring you down. You start where you are and improve SLOWLY from there. It takes time. Smile at everyone and don't be afraid to ask the people that work there for help--that's their job. Try a new machine. I'm going today and I always do about 20 machines in an hour--5 min here and there. I log it as "gym stuff" in my diary, 250 calories. I'm 68 and am wiped when I finish. However I went back after COVID and saw how much I'd lost. Strength training makes a huge difference.

Congratulations on your new journey. Never give up.

88olds

I weighed 285 lbs. I had HBP, sleep apnea complete with CPAP, back pain that made it hard to walk more than 2 blocks without stopping to rest and a seemingly permanent cough. I was a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen. My first “workout” was classic. I went to the basement, took down the stuff hanging on the stationary bike and dragged it out of the corner. That first day I did 8 minutes. And an easy 8 minutes at that. It was the most I could do.

I told myself exactly this- “I want to be the kind of person who works out every day.” So I did. I’d come home from work, go directly upstairs and put on my workout clothes and head to the basement. One thing became the queue for the next thing. I read books on fitness. I kept fitness magazines on the nightstand. Most of the “experts” suggested a rest day. So my routine became this- Mon-Fri bike, Sat a long walk, about 90 min. Sunday off. Then when the weather was better I switched off day to Tues and added a bike ride on Sunday. It took me about 2 years to get the nerve to go to the gym. Now I’ve been at goal weight for years and have done all sorts of exercise. I play Pickleball regularly. That little avatar pic is probably my proudest moment about 6 years ago. I weigh a couple pounds less than that now. I’m telling you this so you know that what you are trying to do is doable. I’ve done it. Nothing special about me really. Maybe I’m just more persistent than a lot of people. At some point things changed in that I once considered exercise part of my weight loss plan but now I maintain my weight to support my fitness goals.

A couple of things to watch out for starting out. Everything @snowflake954 says is true. One of the first things about the gym is you gotta keep showing up. Well, before that let’s talk about our brains. Our brain, at least part of it, will resist change. So your brain will try to wreck you. It will tell you that you look bad. That you don’t belong at the gym. That the other people are laughing at you when you aren’t looking. It will tell you that what you are doing is a waste of time. That you aren’t getting anywhere. Beware of this- it will tell you that you constantly have to do more. It will tell you to ramp up the incline on that treadmill. It will tell you to go ever faster. Then in a flash it will tell you it’s all too hard and you should quit. As you can see it’s a clever trap to get you to give up. Push back. The reason I read those books and magazines was to keep reinforcing what I was doing. What you are trying to do is the right thing. It’s the smart thing. You deserve to succeed and you can succeed.

But watch out for this. Weight loss takes place mostly at the dining table. I can undo an hour at the gym in less than 5 minutes with a fork in my hand. Unlike snowflake954, I don’t consider exercise in my calorie count. I experimented briefly and decided that as my workouts are usually moderate intensity, I didn’t want to encourage myself to eat more by counting calories. But I count myself as “exercising” not “training.” There’s a difference. If you cross the line into training you need to support your program with enough food. But you can worry about this all later.

Don’t kick yourself over the past. Regret will sap your strength. Try not to get involved in how long it will take to get to goal. The calendar is not a weight loss tool. Don’t think ahead any farther than the next 5 lbs. Do regular weigh ins and make a chart. Don’t go to pieces when the scale doesn’t go your way short term. What you want is a downward trend. The trend is your friend. You want to weigh less and workout. Those are the only goals you need and you can accomplish both those things this week. Then repeat and repeat.

Have you started a food diary? Start one and keep it going no matter what. Calculate a calorie deficit to lose no more than 1 lb per week. Log everything you eat or drink that has calories. When you go over your number, and it will happen, log everything. Even if you go wildly over, keep you food diary going. Do that and you will never have to start over. Calorie counting has a lot to gray areas and there are lots of ways to make mistakes. But like a lot of things, it doesn’t have to be perfect to work. Ever try to play music? Ever play a wrong note? Ever try to shoot baskets? Ever miss? Did you throw up your hands and walk away? People do that counting calories and then wonder why they don’t get anywhere. Weight loss is mostly about problem solving and persistence. Solve enough problems and you’ll get to goal. Never quit.

And last thing- back to the gym. Keep going and you’ll see who the regulars are. Then you’ll see who the regulars are who are there to work and who may just be there to socialize. The serious gym people are mostly in their own bubble. They’ve already learned that they need to concentrate on their program and what is going on around them is a distraction. They don’t see you. But keep showing up. In a month or two you might get a hello or nod of recognition from someone who is there for real. Good luck.

snowflake954

@88olds you always inspire me.

LJAAYY

Just walk and you’ll be good, you don’t need anything fancy or inclines. If you walked for an hour at pace you mentioned that’s great. No one is as concerned with you at the gym as you are of yourself, remember that.

And if it’s easier just walk in neighborhoods or some place you feel better about. It’s all the same.

As mentioned, ultimately calorie intake will be a big factor to the journey. I personally have had success with fasting and setting reminders for myself couple times a day to remember what I’m shooting for + portion control - portion control - portion control! I eat what I want but in appropriate amounts…

b2zg9mtbjd

I HATE working out, I hate the gym, I’m forever in awe of how people both men and women alike strut around in their slim fitting clothes. My husband is a meat head so he fills me in on what they’re thinking about (spoiler alert) it’s themselves… lol and then I realize everyone stares in the mirror, everyone has earbuds in, no one cares about anyone on the treadmill just walking… so I take a deep breath, walk at 2.5 with an incline of 3, throw my hoodie over the stats and watch Netflix on my phone. Before I know it my feet are sore and I can leave.

I know if I just do 3 things for 3 weeks it will get easier and I will have developed a habit.
-avoid eating more than 25g of “added sugar”
-eat a minimum of 25g of fiber
-do 20-40 mins of cardio every day

I’m doing that for 3 weeks and seeing where I land.
I’m 5’7/263 💪🏽

MazLB

Do you know the history of those “fit” people in the gym? Possibly some of them have been on the journey you are just starting? They won’t all have always looked like they do now. I would put money on many of them not being happy with their shape despite how good they may look to you and me 🤷‍♀️
You took that first step and walked into that gym. That takes some inner strength so you walk tall and walk proud and keep on going. You are an amazing and unique human being and you can do this.

csplatt

As a relatively medium to small sized person who goes to the gym, I can tell you that we are NOT staring at people of various sizes having any thought other than “look at us all go! we are making it happen!”

tashazazu3383

I to joint the gym it can be scary at first. But keep at it. I have over 100lb to loose also.

littlegreenparrot1

I would encourage you to track some things apart from weight.
Measurements, how well clothes fit, how quickly you can walk a mile, that kind of thing. Doesn't really matter what, but not weight related. That way you can still your progress even when the weight doesn't shift the way you want to.

Find some interesting audio books or podcasts to combat the boredom and to help keep your mind off how hard work it is.

Is there a local beauty spot, lovely trail walk, cool mountain to hike up near you? Could you set a goal for a few months time to go do it? Sunshine, friends and a picnic make it feel much less like work. Always benefits me to be working towards a positive goal like that, it's more tangible to me then. I want to do the fun things.

Keep at it, it won't be long until you start to feel and see the benefits.
Please be reassured you are capable of more than you believe.