Breaking the binge / delete / create new account cycle

jumpintojeans

Sometimes I feel like an addict! As soon as I stray from my perception of a healthy day (even just a little), I go full throttle vacuum mouth mode. I've read a bit about binge-eating, and I understand that it isn't about the food as much as it's about the binge... but I can't seem to break the cycle.

It's almost like, as soon as I've had the * idea * to delete my MFP account, I've granted myself the disgusting privilege of complete and utterly uninhibited gluttony. My pantry doesn't stand a chance.

What are some of your coping mechanisms?

AnnPT77

I guess I don't have a strict definition of "a healthy day" to start with, nor is it my requirement of myself to have one every single day.

I'm going for pretty good, on average, over a day or few. I do try to average around my calorie goal, and do strive for reasonable average nutrition most of the time. Doing that doesn't rule out less nutrient-dense treat foods sometimes, when I can make calorie room for them.

I don't need to be perfect every day in order to make progress, in other words. The majority of my days will determine the majority of my results. A rare exception here or there doesn't have much impact on the big picture IME. Routine habits are what matters.

If I decide to eat above calorie goal for a day or few, even waaaay above, that's just a decision, not some kind of sin or failure. I recognize that I can't do it consistently, or I'll regain the weight I lost. That means I need to get back to my regular habits as soon as practical. (For context, I'm in year 7+ of maintaining a healthy weight, after around 30 years previously of overweight/obesity.)

That's just me, though: Not saying that would work for everyone else.

I hope you're able to find a solution that works for you: IME the results (in improved quality of life) are worth it.

Best wishes!

Brigit02

jumpintojeans wrote: »

Sometimes I feel like an addict! As soon as I stray from my perception of a healthy day (even just a little), I go full throttle vacuum mouth mode. I've read a bit about binge-eating, and I understand that it isn't about the food as much as it's about the binge... but I can't seem to break the cycle.

It's almost like, as soon as I've had the * idea * to delete my MFP account, I've granted myself the disgusting privilege of complete and utterly uninhibited gluttony. My pantry doesn't stand a chance.

What are some of your coping mechanisms?

This is my third MFP account. Right now I'm taking it slow. First thing I did was join the Mission Slimpossibles Team here which helped me last time. The women are so kind and encouraging. Also, I'm giving myself a pass if I eat a whole bag of pita chips or two ice cream bars: It's not the end of the world. I'm going to let myself have little fails because that's life. Hopefully, this will help me stay with the program and not throw in the towel.

sibilantstorm

I -am- an addict. I had to go through a lot of therapy to be able to say that, because people can't understand how food can be an addiction, and I wasn't any different. That's one reason I came -back- to MFP. I'd gotten into a cycle where I was finding reasons that it was okay to eat stuff that I know contributes to my poor health, and I also know that I am too old for that. I don't have a lot of time to turn the runaway train around.

One thing that I did different, this time, is that I am committing to logging, even if the day sucks and I go over my goals, or, like the other night, I binge. I've tried to do this alone so many times, and I've got so many issues, especially around food, so this time, I'm not hiding, not doing it in secret. If I binge, I binge, and I own up and try to forgive myself enough to start over the next day. It is -hard-. No doubt about it. But it's okay to struggle. Not every day is perfect, and not every day is even -good-... but as an addict, I know that you have to take every day -- sometimes every MINUTE -- one at a time, so this is part of how I'm trying to do that.

I'll tell ya what, though -- there are days I wish I had a sponsor I could call and just say "Hey, I'm about to open this bag of chips WITHOUT a 'single serving bowl' anywhere in reach... "

MrsDogLady

sibilantstorm wrote: »

I -am- an addict. I had to go through a lot of therapy to be able to say that, because people can't understand how food can be an addiction, and I wasn't any different. That's one reason I came -back- to MFP. I'd gotten into a cycle where I was finding reasons that it was okay to eat stuff that I know contributes to my poor health, and I also know that I am too old for that. I don't have a lot of time to turn the runaway train around.

One thing that I did different, this time, is that I am committing to logging, even if the day sucks and I go over my goals, or, like the other night, I binge. I've tried to do this alone so many times, and I've got so many issues, especially around food, so this time, I'm not hiding, not doing it in secret. If I binge, I binge, and I own up and try to forgive myself enough to start over the next day. It is -hard-. No doubt about it. But it's okay to struggle. Not every day is perfect, and not every day is even -good-... but as an addict, I know that you have to take every day -- sometimes every MINUTE -- one at a time, so this is part of how I'm trying to do that.

I'll tell ya what, though -- there are days I wish I had a sponsor I could call and just say "Hey, I'm about to open this bag of chips WITHOUT a 'single serving bowl' anywhere in reach... "

Sibilantstorm: You must be my twin I think the one thing that helps me the most is learning to forgive myself. Everyday won't be perfect, but I strive to have more successful days than not.

ninerbuff

Try not to go in all at once. Refrain from a few things at a time so you don't binge. I like fast food. I don't eat it everyday, but somewhere in the week I work it in.


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lookngoodndahood70

I do the same thing I feel like we’ll I already fudged it up might as well eat what I want to

VanIsland1970

Totally relate to your post. No off switch once I start. All or nothing mentality. Have always had a wonky relationship with food. Definitely binge out for the dopamine hit. I just joined a no late night snacking challenge on here. See how is goes 🙏💞

Corina1143

That's why my dietician told me I must have a cheat meal. Not to go wild once a week, but to learn to allow myself a little leeway from perfection now and then, without derailing completely. It worked beautifully for me.
Now that I'm more Comfortable with eating healthy most of the time, I really don't stick to once a week, but I still give myself permission to stray a little occasionally.

Mercenna42

I 100% understand the all or nothing mentality and have struggled with this myself. If I go to a restaurant that doesn’t have calories listed I feel like I’m going to have an aneurysm. Then the day is “ruined” and I eat everything in sight. A more intuitive eating approach has been really helpful for me. If I’m having a “cheat meal” I check in with my body. How do I feel? Am I bloated or is my stomach upset? If I feel good and I’m enjoying my meal I try not to worry about it. It’s one meal in one day. I have 365 days and over a thousand meal choices in a year.