At what age should you fly the nest?

vtmoon

As soon as possible.

I find dating very difficult because I am a woman who owns a home. I do not want to date a man who lives with his parents. If you are over 30 and living with your parents, that is seriously pathetic. If you are taking care of a sick parent or you own a home and your parent(s) live with you, that's a little different. But at 30+, if you do not have your life together, you should NOT be dating.

You should probably stay away from some of the international men, when I was in Italy this year, I was impressed by the homes who had 3/4 generations. Eating a meal in those homes was like an amazing experience.

RaggedyPond

I moved out at 18 and have not had to go back.

dbmata

I'm 29 and live at home, I also work full time and go to school, and could give zero f*cks.

amen.

That may not be on purpose, he can't just bring a girl home. Imagine THAT walk of shame. hahaha

TheRealParisLove

Depends on where in the world you live.

This is a good point. Some cities are so insanely expensive that you have to be either a wonder-kid (Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg) in business or wait until you are earning mid-career level wages to afford housing on a single income.

Donald_Dozier_50

Many years ago.............. moved out of my parents home at 18, married at 18. I had been working for years before.

When you no longer intend to live by parents rules, it is time to go. Our home only has two people who are the adults and make the rules. When that no longer works for you it is time to move out and get your own home. Our children (choosing not to go to college at that time) moved to start their own lives in their own homes at 18.

Once you are 18, it really is not your choice when you move out, it is the parents decision.

CubanSammich

I flew the coop at 17. My parents taught me to be so self sufficient that I went out out got a job and payed rent for my own room on the oher side of town.

rob32768

23

JaneAero

I moved out when I went to college and moved around a bit. I moved back in with my mother after my dad died and I filed for divorce from my husband. She needed company and I needed her support. I am still there 14 years later. I've raised my son in a stable household and was able to finish my education. Now she is aging and I intend to be there for her. I hate the way the most of America has this mindset that if you don't live apart from your parents you are some kind of loser. I've seen many cultures where multiple generations living together is the norm and expected. Move out only if you really want to and its the right thing to do, not because society tells you that you just have to! And remember all the times that your parents took care of you as you were growing up with emotional support and fixing your boo-boos and caring for you when you were sick and choose to do the same for them. I didn't get that chance with my father and I will regret that for the rest of my life.

That is such a moving post and I so agree with you. My kids are now older teenagers/young adults and are all at different stages of their education and fledgling careers and I feel blessed to have them all under my roof before they fly the nest. My house is quite small and I currently have their partners here 24 hours a day also, I love having the company and cooking for them. Hopefully there will be marriages and a few grandchildren in the years to come and I hope my house is a drop in centre for all of them forever.

JaneAero

My daughters 20 and is moving to Australia in January, shes very independent very mature. its killing me but thats another story

Aww, bless you, (((hugs)))

JaneAero

I'm 29 and live at home, I also work full time and go to school, and could give zero f*cks.

amen.

That may not be on purpose, he can't just bring a girl home. Imagine THAT walk of shame. hahaha

My son (18) and daughter(22) both have their own bedrooms, own door key and both have their partners sleeping over whenever they feel like it. I assume they have a normal & happy sex life; I wouldn't know, I always knock first before taking them cups of tea in the morning :happy: The only shame is if they didn't have nice clean sheets on the bed! :bigsmile:

jenilla1

I think it's smart to live at home through college - saves a crap ton of money. That's what I did. But if money was no object I'd say leave sooner IF you're ready. My brother left right away, but my sister and I stuck around until after we'd finished our educations and had gotten started in our careers. It worked out well. I've been totally independent and I've never had to ask for any help from my parents since I left home. They set me up with a good foundation. Yay Mom and Dad! :smooched:

crimsontech

My dad and I didn't get along (because my stepmom was a b****, which he realizes not, but not then) so I was kicked out 2 weeks after I turned 18. I had to live with my boyfriend's family, which completely shattered what had been a good relationship (I think? I was 18 so I was pretty dumb.).... I ended up having to move to another state with a friend who lived there in order to have a roof over my head. I struggled, changed a lot as a person, grew up a lot, and moved back to my home city a year later, wiser (not yet wise, but getting there.) Lived with my aunt for a month and a half until I had a job that let me afford my own apartment. Two years later, I bought my first house. Haven't lived at home since I got the boot the first time.

If your kid is reasonably intelligent and not prone to abusing drugs or alcohol, you could do a lot worse than booting them out as soon as you're ready. I don't see a problem with giving them a place to live as long as they are continuing their education past high school, however.

judilockwood

I was 22 many years ago when I married and moved out, but I always knew that I had a home with my parents if I needed to return at a time of crisis - still could. My daughter is 19, lives away at college most of the time and comes home at holiday time and for weekends - she knows that my home will always be there for her, my house is her home and she will always be welcome. I guess we're lucky that my family have a close relationship - I might have to ask her to contribute financially when she'll be able but I would never ask her to leave.x

grrrlface

I'm 23 and still at home. It's near impossible in England to find full time employment to afford a place of my own on a single income. Boyfriend and I both work part time, however, still not enough not even to rent as that's just as expensive, if not more than, a mortgage.

We are saving however because if money was no object I definitely would've moved out by now!

janetay01

19 when I moved out - to live in London closer to my first job. Moved back for a couple of weeks when I was 21 and between properties (mum didn't charge me rent but I did my washing, paid for the food shopping and helped with the cooking and cleaning for the two weeks) - then moved to my rented flat out of London. I think it depends on the circumstances but for me it was necessary for the sanity of both me and my mum! And I'm now 37 and married - but regardless of that, could never move back. I love my mum to bits - but our relationship improved so much for only seeing each other in small bursts (she lives 4 miles away) - I just think that there comes a point where you all need distance and independance. But as I said, it depends on circumstance - we are all different

nyssa1231

i moved out when i was 17 to go to college. my parents didn't pay for anything for college or law school, so i was fully on my own by the time i moved out.

randomtai

I'm 29 and live at home, I also work full time and go to school, and could give zero f*cks.

amen.

That may not be on purpose, he can't just bring a girl home. Imagine THAT walk of shame. hahaha

My son (18) and daughter(22) both have their own bedrooms, own door key and both have their partners sleeping over whenever they feel like it. I assume they have a normal & happy sex life; I wouldn't know, I always knock first before taking them cups of tea in the morning :happy: The only shame is if they didn't have nice clean sheets on the bed! :bigsmile:

ohheyitsfelicity

I'm 20 and I still live with my mom and dad. When I was in my final semester of college, they gave me the option of living at home and buying me a new car (I live within commuting distance of ten different schools) or move out and take the exact same program that was offered at 6 of those schools and they'd pay for my residence for first year then I'd be on my own to pay forward for rent. I ended up taking the car & living at home option because I figured I'd benefit a lot more living with my parents and having a new car that'd last me until I get a good, steady job. I think it's different for everyone, for me, I don't want to leave until I'm able to support myself financially 100%.

alisonlynn1976

I think people should move out at 18. Personally, I moved out at 17 due to starting college then. I think it's okay for parents to offer financial assistance to adult children if they can, but I don't think there is any obligation to do so.

Maidofmer

I was 16. moved in with a friend. got my own place at 17.