At what age should you fly the nest?

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Replies

  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    In your opinion, what is the age that you think you should move out of the parental home and do your own thing?

    I know that most times money will be a problem because you can not fund a place of your own....

    ,,,but let us suppose that you had the money and opportunity to move out of the parental home...would you stay or would you go and what age do you think is right?

    Maybe you are a parent and you do not want your kids to leave?

    At 18, right after high school graduation. My parents made it clear they were not giving me a free ride, and I moved out at 18 and haven't been back, even during my divorce. It worked for me.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    don't have kids.
    they suck
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    I don't live in a nest. Nor did I ever. I also don't know how to fly.

    That is so, so sad. Did you come from an egg though?

    Don't we all come from eggs?

    Yes, of course and the term of fly the nest is just a synonym, the egg is real :wink:

    So are you still living at home and what age do you plan to leave/or think that it is age appropriate?
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    my kids- the second they turn 18 they are out. other kids can live with their parents forever though.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    I don't live in a nest. Nor did I ever. I also don't know how to fly.

    That is so, so sad. Did you come from an egg though?

    Don't we all come from eggs?

    Yes, of course and the term of fly the nest is just a synonym, the egg is real :wink:

    So are you still living at home and what age do you plan to leave/or think that it is age appropriate?

    I live in MY home. With my children. And I'll make them leave...well, I'll probably never make them. But my job as their parent is to make sure they grow up to be responsible adults who have no desire to live in my home on a permanent basis.
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    my kids- the second they turn 18 they are out. other kids can live with their parents forever though.

    May I ask why so strict?
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    my kids- the second they turn 18 they are out. other kids can live with their parents forever though.

    May I ask why so strict?

    i was just joking around. sarcasm plus internet doesnt mix, :)
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    my kids- the second they turn 18 they are out. other kids can live with their parents forever though.

    May I ask why so strict?

    i was just joking around. sarcasm plus internet doesnt mix, :)

    Thanks for the answer :) I thought you were for real :)
  • salsera_barbie
    salsera_barbie Posts: 270 Member
    I was 17. My brother was 30. Can you tell who the black sheep of the family is?
  • TheBaileyHunter
    TheBaileyHunter Posts: 641 Member
    I moved out at 16.

    I helped my eldest move out at 19 because he wasn't going to college.

    Middle son moved out at just under 18 (now lives with eldest)

    Daughter is still at home, but only 17 and going to school

    If they go back to school they can stay with me. Other than that, by the time they are legal adults, it's time to go.

    (Of course I'll bring them food and make sure they're ok, because that's what mean mamas like me do)
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  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    We gave our kids a year after finishing whatever level of school they chose to pursue. Our oldest chose not to go to college and he actually moved out in August 2004 after graduating high school that May. He has traveled the world and now owns his own business at 28. The youngest went to college for a year, quit and got a job and moved out about a year later. She recently became unemployed and has moved back home temporarily at 22. She just got another full time job and we will give her enough time to get on her feet financially (we will monitor her budget to ensure this happens) and she will be moving out again.

    Some may find this harsh or controlling but I strongly believe that our job as parents is to train our kids to leave. They should be independent enough to want to leave and humble enough to understand they may have to work hard to do it. Our daughter is VERY unhappy that she's in her situation and had to move back home. She can't wait to get out again!
  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
    I moved out by 17/18 and never went back. Supported myself through college with young kids.

    I have two kids (19 & 17) both at home. We have told them they can stay living with us as adults, as long as they are full-time students and have a part-time job. Even if it's just working a few hours a week, they need to work AND go to school.

    They know their time living with us is limited, I doubt they will be with us after they turn 21. If they don't move on by then, I'll gladly guide them out, LOL.


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  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
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  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
    I'm 29 and live at home, I also work full time and go to school, and could give zero f*cks.

    amen.

    That may not be on purpose, he can't just bring a girl home. Imagine THAT walk of shame. hahaha

    My son (18) and daughter(22) both have their own bedrooms, own door key and both have their partners sleeping over whenever they feel like it. I assume they have a normal & happy sex life; I wouldn't know, I always knock first before taking them cups of tea in the morning :happy: The only shame is if they didn't have nice clean sheets on the bed! :bigsmile:

    ^^^ Oh helllll NO, this wouldn't happen in my house, lol. If my kids need a healthy sex life, it's time for them to move out!
  • frommetobetterme
    frommetobetterme Posts: 124 Member
    After you are done your basic studies (i.e. high school/college/undergraduate (bachelor)). After that, you are capable of finding a job and supporting yourself. Your parents raised you, it's for you to become an integral and productive part of society, not to freeload off of them. (disclaimer that there are special circumstances to which this may not apply, but generally speaking, this is my opinion).

    I moved out right after high school because I went a way for college and university since there was no university where I lived.
  • JaneAero
    JaneAero Posts: 95 Member
    I'm 29 and live at home, I also work full time and go to school, and could give zero f*cks.

    amen.

    That may not be on purpose, he can't just bring a girl home. Imagine THAT walk of shame. hahaha

    My son (18) and daughter(22) both have their own bedrooms, own door key and both have their partners sleeping over whenever they feel like it. I assume they have a normal & happy sex life; I wouldn't know, I always knock first before taking them cups of tea in the morning :happy: The only shame is if they didn't have nice clean sheets on the bed! :bigsmile:

    ^^^ Oh helllll NO, this wouldn't happen in my house, lol. If my kids need a healthy sex life, it's time for them to move out!

    I accept that at 18+ my kids are young adults and are entitled to have loving relationships which include a healthy sex life, Im a realistic person. One has just finished his A levels and one has just graduated, both will be at home for the next few years whilst they job hunt and if they want to move out then to look for accomodation, theres no rush from me as the current job market is pretty poor here in the UK and I do not want to catapult either of them into unsavoury accomodation or dead end jobs, I want them to reach their full potential and that to me means supporting them while they gain work experience, do voluntary work, apply for work in their chosen field. They can also choose to live here until they get married or choose to move out themselves, if they want to live here for the rest of their lives they can also do that as the house is paid for and has already been left in a will to the 3 of them equally, I have a clause drawn up that the house cant be sold unless all 3 are in agreement and if that means one child would suffer by being undersold by the other 2 then legally I wouldnt see anyone of them homeless, hence the clause. They may all choose to conitnue living here after Im dead and gone, or all 3 sell it. Its not an issue for me :)
  • thesifter
    thesifter Posts: 107 Member
    I like and respect your attitude towards it there Jane, well said. You have to be realistic.
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 491 Member
    I moved out at 20, but wanted to much earlier.

    I think someone should when they are ready.. but I think at a certain age you should anyway I mean I know someone who is almost 30, no job (doesn't want one), who lives with his mother and her boyfriend. To me, that is pathetic.
  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
    my home will always be open for my kids, but i hope they move out at 20. if they are there they will need to take on more duties and rent.
  • Titanuim
    Titanuim Posts: 331 Member
    19. The age my oldest turns in a few days. I want her to move out properly so I can turn her room into a home gym. She pretty much lives at her boyfriends house anyway and is only home to catch up on sleep and get lifts to work.
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
    I was 17. I graduated on a Saturday and was on a plane to England on the following Monday.
  • Sylvitryinghard
    Sylvitryinghard Posts: 549 Member
    I moved out with 18. It was hard first but after a while it was a good thing. I got pretty independent and did my own thing. Visited my parents as often as I could and they came to visit as well.
  • TiffieLand
    TiffieLand Posts: 159
    I believe I want to move out once I'm stable in not only financial independent but also when i'm independent in everything. And I want to support my parents and stay with them a while if we're on good terms because I know they want to be with me and would be lonely. As an asian, we're suppose to stay with our parents until we are married. Not by living off of them but by being filial to them while we can and haven't gotten our own family and responsibilities to take of then. Money is not enough to return our parents care and love. We used to think otherwise like move out as soon as possible but i'm thinking differently as I am growing older.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I don't think that there's any age whereby they should be kicked out of the parental home. However, if they are not in full time education IMO they should pay for keep, contribute to bills and buy their own groceries, or contribute to the cost of family grocery shopping. If my kids ever fall on really hard times then I'd have them at home paying nothing rather than living on the streets but I'd do what i can to help them get back into independence as soon as possible. It's a lot easier to find a job while living with parents than it is when living on the street. S*** happens, and it's a sad world if you can't turn to your family for help when you're in the s***.

    Also, once they're old enough to get a Saturday job or similar, but still in full time education, i.e. age 13-15 or thereabouts depending on the laws in various places, then IMO it's good for developing life skills and a good work ethic if the parents only pay for the essentials, and they earn their own money to pay for entertainment, new clothes and any other extras. This would also apply for kids who leave home to study at university, i.e. parents pay what they can afford towards the essentials, they work to pay for the rest of it. IMO it's part of a parents duties to ensure their kids are educated, but education isn't just in academics, kids need to learn life skills like budgeting and also parents should instill a good work ethic into kids, and this is a good way to do all those things.
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    I'm 29 and live at home, I also work full time and go to school, and could give zero f*cks.

    amen.

    That may not be on purpose, he can't just bring a girl home. Imagine THAT walk of shame. hahaha

    My son (18) and daughter(22) both have their own bedrooms, own door key and both have their partners sleeping over whenever they feel like it. I assume they have a normal & happy sex life; I wouldn't know, I always knock first before taking them cups of tea in the morning :happy: The only shame is if they didn't have nice clean sheets on the bed! :bigsmile:

    ^^^ Oh helllll NO, this wouldn't happen in my house, lol. If my kids need a healthy sex life, it's time for them to move out!

    I accept that at 18+ my kids are young adults and are entitled to have loving relationships which include a healthy sex life, Im a realistic person. One has just finished his A levels and one has just graduated, both will be at home for the next few years whilst they job hunt and if they want to move out then to look for accomodation, theres no rush from me as the current job market is pretty poor here in the UK and I do not want to catapult either of them into unsavoury accomodation or dead end jobs, I want them to reach their full potential and that to me means supporting them while they gain work experience, do voluntary work, apply for work in their chosen field. They can also choose to live here until they get married or choose to move out themselves, if they want to live here for the rest of their lives they can also do that as the house is paid for and has already been left in a will to the 3 of them equally, I have a clause drawn up that the house cant be sold unless all 3 are in agreement and if that means one child would suffer by being undersold by the other 2 then legally I wouldnt see anyone of them homeless, hence the clause. They may all choose to conitnue living here after Im dead and gone, or all 3 sell it. Its not an issue for me :)

    :D .. You're such a lovely parent! God bless you and your kids :)

    Regarding sex life and parenting... I was married twice but I can't imagine my parents would know my sex life, I'd be crazy embarrassed. I hope they think I'm still a virgin :)))

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