WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2023
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Good morning ladies!
Thank you Machka, Joy, Rebecca, Flea and Lisa. And Debbie, Michele, Ginny, Barbara and Barbie. And Pip, and more, I know you are out there.
Flea you are right, we won't know for sure until the biopsy results. But my dad needs help now, and my sister shares his religion which is huge for both of them. He had trouble turning on the TV last night. Plus his hearing is bad for phone calls.
He told me he went out for dinner, but I was asleep and didn't hear him go. He should not have been driving. Another thing to worry about.
The attending physician said Mom has a 1.8 inch mass in her maxillary sinus. The ENT doctor should see her today and order the biopsy, which will take general sedation, so that's a risk. It may take several days.
He was unclear about what happens meanwhile. She might stay in the hospital, she might go back to a rehab, or she might come home. I hope she is strong enough to come home, but so far she is still weak. She barely eats or drinks, and her electrolytes won't stay balanced. But she is not in pain. I asked for some lozenges for pain to see if that would help her eat.
I hope I'm not repeating myself, but I know you all will forgive me if I do. Thank you for being my
friends!
Machka I would rather be doing SQL. It's a little like a big magic spoon to mix and sample data. Have fun!
Debbie glad your show went well.
And Kylia hugs. My daughter ghosted me. They have the power to hurt us so much.
Hope you all have a lovely day.
Annie in Delaware10 -
Last night, I got up to use the toilet at 3 am as usual. This time, Rhody was all excited to see me! He raced into the bathroom, and then followed me into the toilet room and milled around "mrrrrp"-ing and wanting to be patted.
When I was done in the toilet room, he desperately wanted me to go into the bathroom with him ... kept going in and out and meowing at me. I could see he was most interested in something on the floor around one of the bathroom scales.
I figured I had better have a look because I would hate for it to be a scorpion. So I turned on the light and lifted the scale, and out ran a cockroach. I put the scale back down, and the cockroach ran back under it.
"It's a cockroach", I said to Rhody who was almost beside himself with glee!
He wanted to be picked up ... made himself really light and was up into my arms when I reached down. I got many kisses on the nose and he was purring so hard he was vibrating. And wiggling around wanting to be patted.
So I told him what a good boy he was, and gave him some pats ... and then he wanted to race back into the bathroom to play with the cockroach, so off he went and I returned to sleep.
What fun at 3 am.
Machka in Oz10 -
Annie Hugs...it is the fear of the unknown. We are all thinking of you and your family.
Ginny Flurries just started here. Just got back from taking DH to hunt site. He is not happy as the corn has not yet been harvested from his normal spot, so is in new space. I am thankful he hunts with long time companions. Prayers for a safe hunt.
Love the decorations! My really big snowman blow up escaped last night. I am not sure I will find him. 😞 Tried to move him more in front of house so that he only had wind from one direction, but someone wouldn't listen to me. Will see if I can locate before I leave for work. DH set up Christmas tree Saturday and brought in boxes yesterday. He unboxed the village. I was working on Christmas cards and not in the mood to do those things, so right now the dining room is a mess. It will happen.
Speaking of cards, a dying tradition, but one I love. I take a moment to really think on those people and what we mean to each other. Families are weird! I am unsure what causes such strife between some members yet others present as accepting. I pray for all families to accept one another.
I do feel better though still bummed about my YD. Her attitude is contagious and not helpful. Yes, it is the one with the house. I miss the happy, loving girl she was. She has been angry since graduation from HS. She has made a marriage work against the odds. She has 2 beautifully hearted children. She has a good job. She needs to get help. All I can do is love her.
The full moon is peering over the clouds as the sun is rising and the snowflurries are falling. It is 😍
Healing thoughts!
Hugs held extra long!
Thankful for you all!
Gotta get ready for work. Massage tonight.
Kylia in wintery Ohio
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Annie, lots of hugs. Thinking of you.
Ginny and Kylia, stay warm...
Betsy in NW WA3 -
Machka - Pretty sure I couldn't have gone back to sleep after finding a cockroach that Egg showed me. You're a tough-minded woman!
Kylia, Annie and anyone ghosted by a child - My heart goes out to you... there is something so awful and hurtful about silence. It's like we have something to push against if they're angry but still speaking, but silence is like fighting with fog or smoke. Those who post here are communicators by definition (yes, even the readers who don't post much!). We revel in it, we need it, whether talking or listening. It hurts so much because we can't understand the silence and wouldn't do it to them, no matter what. We feel that, as long as we keep talking, we can make it work, we can love, we can heal.
Barbara AHMOD , thank you for the comments, and to you and all those who loved the picture of Egg in front of the fire... it has a special place in my heart, that first fire of the year. Egg feels the same way. The moment he started building it, she was there supervising. I always wait and let Corey make the first one. My fires are always a little whomp-sided, cold and dark on one side, too hot on the other, effective at heating a room, but not pretty. He makes the picture-perfect, most satisfying fires of all... warming heart and body. Growing up in Alaska, he had a lot of experience!
Thanks, Barbie, Pip and Flea and anyone who posts Christmas lights and decorations. It's like when we go for a drive to see Christmas lights. I love looking at them, and marvel at people's creativity and work they put into their displays... And I have zero need to do so myself. Not a Grinch
... but not a Griswold either...
Hope it's a good week for everyone...
Many long warm hugs, Annie.
Love y'all!
Lisa in AR8 -
Flea loves the lights!
M Agree with you about saying No! When you add an explanation it opens you up to second guessing yourself or who you are saying No to can work on your reason so they can get what they want. The example I am thinking of is I have a friend who retired from teaching who went into subbing. She ended up working almost continually for a teacher who really should have retired too but wasn't able to yet. Now she wants to just volunteer at the school. Instead they want her to work full time. Rather than just give them a straight forward I am just here to volunteer she gives explanations as to why she cannot work full time which leaves room for them to convince her to work full time.
The current book I am reading From Clutter to Clarity Clean up your mindset to clear out your clutter. The author Kerri Richardson gives many examples both personal and from others how clutter can be belongings, emotional, relationships. Interesting take on how we train others and others train us in certain behaviors. For me it is a good follow up to Organized Enough, Face your Stuff or Stuff your Face.
What I am finding most useful is clarifying what my needs are and it is okay to not be an over giver at the expense of my own health.
I had an interesting talk with my cousin's son at a family holiday party. Another cousin is in bad physical health because she neglected her own health for the sake of others. We discussed how as a family we tend to be givers. The cousin in poor health jumps in with both feet. He confessed he just tries to put in a toe. I said I am working on pulling my toe out completely! He laughed!
I did enjoy the family party. I came home with a jar of homemade jam the overdoer cousin made. She made at least 20 jars so every family who came could have one. She was in such poor health she was not there. I would rather forgo the jam and have her there at the party!5 -
Saw a very unusual sight today.
Heard a thump on our windows and then saw, out in the garden, what I thought was was birds mating. Strange time of year! Looking closer, I hadn't seen that bird in our garden before. Remember we are urban. Saw it pecking out feathers, and thought it was rough sex. Then realised it was some kind of buzzard, and had just caught a pigeon. The poor pigeon struggled for ages.
But the buzzard held on. And on. The crows started cawing, and a magpie got curious. I couldn't watch any longer.
Truly nature red in tooth and claw.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx
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This was our yard prior to last night.
Apparently, Snowman's story is he got tired of battling the wind and wanted to run away. Grinch wouldn't let him, so he knocked Grinch out and ran....then the wooden soldiers(aka trees) caught him in the backyard and laid him out.
He is now warming up in garage to see how much damage he has from his escapades. 😉
SIL just left work. I swear she is the unhealthiest person I know.
Lisa eloquent as always and oh so true! As for Machka's cockroach I am with Machka. One lesson I learned in the Philippines was to turn on lights before entering a dark room, especially the bathroom. Between roaches, rice beetles, spiders, and geckos, you wanted to know where you were stepping. They didn't make much appearance out of bathrooms thank goodness.
Annie Thinking of you
Betsy Thermals, quilted vest, and alpaca socks.
TTYL,
Kylia in cold Ohio3 -
I had problems with the delivery of my DSIL'S flowers. I was emailed to say that they had been taken back to the depot as the post office were unable to deliver. Total nonsense. They never even tried and just packed in working on a Sunday.
I emailed the company and they are sending another bunch out tomorrow by special delivery.
They are Letterbox flowers and my brother has a huge letterbox plus loads of places to leave them. Grrrr!
It's not the flower company's fault and they are doing their best to rectify it.. So annoying though.
Edie doesn't have cello tomorrow. She wants us to pick her up when we collect Bea, because she wants to maximise the time she spends with us. ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
Love and best wishes to all, especially the carers.
Heather UK xxxxxx7 -
Michelle When I lived in CT, the easiest way we found to keep frost of the windshield was to put a piece of cardboard on it held by the wipers. When there was a snow storm predicted, we would put the cardboard but put the wipers up so they didn’t freeze to the windows and didn’t break trying to get them loose.
RVRita]
2023 New Ways November
Word of the Year: appreciate—Today I appreciate my way of life.28. Discover your creative side. Design a friendly greeting card.
Meditation: daily. 18/30 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%,100%)
Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min 15/23
Strength all muscles 2 x 0/8 a week
Flexible (yoga, stretching) /8 a week 10 min
Balance 5 days 10 min /20
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(300%,100%,100%,100%).
96 days SOBER!
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 6521,6471,5327, (7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%—6059,87%—6458,92%,-6847,98%)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 (10,00%)
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 220/208—(733%,100% My mom called me for a change.)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)98/96 100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6,173.4, 172.2, 173.2 (600%)
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 15/23. (681%,100,100)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 47/12
(100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 11/12—(100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%) I put the money in, but end up taking it out.
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,0,0,0
500%) This has stopped. Spending too much.
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met——86.36%
May met——-89%
June met—-99%
July met — met 81%
August met—met 99%
September met——99%
October met —90.7%
November met—
December met—
1. Make a list of new things you want to do this month. 1. Start Christmas shopping, 2. Work on my happiness, 3. Walk the mall at least once. 4. Read a new book
2. Respond to a difficult situation in a different way. I will see what comes up, but the daily readings I do have helped a lot already! Did this!
3. Get outside and observe the changes in nature around you..Supposed to be in the low 80’s (f) here today and the week to come so will have plenty of time to do this. Didn’t do this today, sick.
4. Sign up to join a new course, activity, or online community. I’ll have to look around for this. Thinking about something to do with MCC. I joined 2 new groups on FB.
5. Change your normal routine today and notice how you feel. Will do!
6. Try out a new way of being physically active. I will have to think about this. Maybe do a YouTube video. Did not do this.
7. Be creative. Cook, draw, write, paint, make or inspire. I will Zendoodle. I tried out my DH’s suggestion for mirror letters.
8. Plan a new idea or activity you want to try out this year. I have a water color set. I will experiment with that.
9. When you feel you can’t do something, add the word ‘yet’. I need to remember this.
10. Be curious, learn about a new topic or an inspiring idea. I learned about Alonon and downloaded their app and read through it.
11. Choose a different route and see what you notice on the way. I did this on my walk today.
12. Find out something new about someone you care about. Research time!
13. Do something playful outdoors - walk, run, explore, relax. Took a walk.
14. Find a new way to help or support a cause you care about. Have to think about this.
15. Build on new ideas by thinking “yes, and what if…” I will remember this!
16. Look at life at someone else’s eyes and see their perspective. According to my therapist, this is called empathy. I do this but not enough. Will try to do better.
17. Try a new way to practice self-care and be kind to yourself. Staying in bed and resting today.
18. Connect with someone from a different generation. I do this most days at the park.
19. Broaden your perspective: read a different paper, magazine, or site. Will do!
20. Make a meal using a recipe or ingredient you haven’t used before. My DH does this all the time! He does all the cooking.
21. Learn a new skill from a friend or share one of yours with them. Hmmmm Did not do this.
22. Find a new way to tell someone you appreciate them. I will!
23. Set aside a time to pursue an activity with your love.
24. Share with a friend something useful you learned recently. I do this on MFP
25. Use one of your strengths in a new and creative way. I will need to think about this.
26. Try out a different radio station or new TV show. Did this.
27. Join a friend doing a hobby and find out why they love it. I’m not sure who I will do this with, maybe my neighbor and not sure what to do yet. Thinking about it.
29. Enjoy new music today. Play, sing, dance or listen.
30. Look for new reasons to be hopeful, even in tough times.
RVRita in Roswell, NM
Spoiler2 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »Machka - Pretty sure I couldn't have gone back to sleep after finding a cockroach that Egg showed me. You're a tough-minded woman!
Kylia, Annie and anyone ghosted by a child - My heart goes out to you... there is something so awful and hurtful about silence. It's like we have something to push against if they're angry but still speaking, but silence is like fighting with fog or smoke. Those who post here are communicators by definition (yes, even the readers who don't post much!). We revel in it, we need it, whether talking or listening. It hurts so much because we can't understand the silence and wouldn't do it to them, no matter what. We feel that, as long as we keep talking, we can make it work, we can love, we can heal.
Barbara AHMOD , thank you for the comments, and to you and all those who loved the picture of Egg in front of the fire... it has a special place in my heart, that first fire of the year. Egg feels the same way. The moment he started building it, she was there supervising. I always wait and let Corey make the first one. My fires are always a little whomp-sided, cold and dark on one side, too hot on the other, effective at heating a room, but not pretty. He makes the picture-perfect, most satisfying fires of all... warming heart and body. Growing up in Alaska, he had a lot of experience!
Thanks, Barbie, Pip and Flea and anyone who posts Christmas lights and decorations. It's like when we go for a drive to see Christmas lights. I love looking at them, and marvel at people's creativity and work they put into their displays... And I have zero need to do so myself. Not a Grinch
... but not a Griswold either...
Hope it's a good week for everyone...
Many long warm hugs, Annie.
Love y'all!
Lisa in AR
You can put kirby in the griswald category. He wanted that big Santa so he got it. I’ve never been a big blow up Santa thing kinda person but it made him happy so it’s was okay. We are going camping again this Sunday and he is taking it with us so he can put it up. *kitten* yes,kids and their toys8 -
I was reading something yesterday about ‘loving detachment’ as a way to deal with the narcissist DH that comes with alcohol. I convinced my self to try that after some research on it. I felt so much better! Helped me to let go of his depression and enjoy the day. Felt so much better, so going to try to continue this. Here is a little info about ‘loving detachment’”
“ When you detach from someone with love, you don't allow their problems to affect you emotionally. You allow them to experience the consequences of their choices without intervening, or feeling like you must “protect” them. Detaching with love helps you become more grounded, and secure in your own thoughts and emotions.”
It is tough but works. There is a lot more about this if you Google ‘loving detachment’. Interesting stuff!
RVRita7 -
Today is: Teacher day, and Health day. Happy day all you teachers out there; paid or not!
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Rita- think it might have been me that told you about Al-Anon my dad was a member for over 40 yrs
The tea I am talking about is Twinings Christmas tea,It has a wonderful orange and clove taste and it is a favorite of mine.. they have it on amazon but are charging a fortune for it.. they used to have it at the local grocery stores and they no longer carry it anymore either..geeze louise.
Thinking of Annie today,sending love and hugs and to anyone who needs it.
Lisa- how I miss a good fire in the fireplace..my mom always had one going in the winter at our house. And was always poking at it.. and I love to do it too.the only time I can is when im at the cottage..but thats not much anymore with my nephew living there.
We had quite the windstorm last night 40-45 mph winds..but its 51 degrees at the end of November..go figure.
Rita- thanks for the reminder of flipping my wipers up .I don't have a garage to put my car in..2 -
Rita So what I am doing with my mother has a name?!? She is a narcissistic recovering alcoholic hoarder. I had to detach for my sanity. She gets like Debbie's MIL. I text her on important dates and holidays. That is the extent of my concern. I am selective, or was when I posted more, on which posts she could see, but never blocked or ghosted her. I just know ot is healthier for both my brother and I. I am unsure where my sister stands at this time. I will learn more of this. Thank you!
I really need to get some work done.....I would rather be home on the couch with Christmas cards, Christmas movies, and hot tea!
Kylia trying to focus in Ohio6 -
Today’s gratitude: Just spoke with Sears virtual technician “Dave” who confirmed my fears that no igniter part had been ordered. He did so, and said it would arrive in 5-7 days, MAYBE in time for Dec 6 appointment. I’m giddy with hope that I may be able to bake some Christmas cookies this season…
Annie ((hugs)) Hope your sister arrives soon and can help you, including “hide the keys.”
Thanks Ginny, very helpful. Do you know what impacts the arthritis level?
Machka eeeuwww!
Kylia prayers for your DH’s safe hunt. . . and for Snowman’s complete recovery
Couch, Christmas Movies and Tea sound like just the ticket. ((hugs))
Lisa “not a Grinch… nor a Griswold…” :laugh:
Margaret “can work on your reason so they can get what they want.” Truth this. Just say “no.”
Heather what you said about nature, truly.
Pip the image of Santa at your campsite makes me smile. That Kirby!
Rita thanks for the “loving detachment” Hard work but worthwhile.
Allie, is this it?
https://twiningsusa.com/products/christmas-tea?_pos=1&_sid=c34a1fcc5&_ss=r
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
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After Internet research h, we think it was a sparrowhawk.
It truly was like something horrible out of a wildlife film. The poor pigeon.
I think the sparrowhawk was chasing the pigeon, which is when it bumped into the window and alerted me.
Once I knew the pigeon was dead I felt better.
It took a long time.
As I said, this is very unusual in our environment.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Good morning ladies!
Flea - what a nice house on Lake Limerick. Your trips on I-5 north are rapidly dwindling. Glad you were able to get most of what you wanted loaded up and brought home. Great videos. By the way, the fog was here all day yesterday - temp hovered around 35F at the highest. I can't imagine the holiday traffic on I-5 trying to navigate through it.
Sunny today, bet the mountains are out in all of their glory.
Love all of the Christmas decorations.
Need to get a few things done outside - back later.
Lanette
SW WA State
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4994990
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Heather - I would not live anywhere but in the country, but there are scenes in this space that will never be easy to deal with, like your sparrowhawk's dinner. When you first thought it was a vulture, I wondered; they are always carrion eaters here. On a completely different note, it is so wonderful that Edie doesn't just make space for you in her life, but actively seeks time with you both. Such a special and wonderful relationship.
Kylia - I hope your DH's hunt was safe and successful.
Rita - I'm glad that "loving detachment," is a successful emotional action for you. It sounds like a really valid way to deal with your husband's possible impact on your mood and day-to-day life and keep your own positive outlook intact.
More later...
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