WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2024

pipcd34

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kevrit

GodMomKim wrote: »

Hi Gals,
Birthdays and other stuff…. Ok this is kinda long and could be taken as “judgy” I guess this just hit a nerve with me… so please know that I love you just the way you are!

All the comments about Birthday gifts and conditional love are hard for me. One of my childhood memories is my mother saying “I will love you more if……” and often the “…..” were things I just did not feel capable of completing. So …if you were thinner, ….if you got along with your siblings more …..if you got all A’s …..if you were prettier. I only remember a few times being told “I love you” with no if. And my mom is the same now. The only saving grace was my Dad not only said I love you but he’d say “I love you just the way you are.”

And sometimes Mom managed to add the “if” without saying it directly.

My behavior is not/was not always great, but I have learned with my nephew and god kids to even at the toughest moments to say I love you! With no conditions attached.

And when we need to talk about behavior to have that conversation often with words like “so tell me about how that ended up happening” or “I would like to understand how you made that decision”. I have heard the back story on so many occasions, and been able to step in with suggestions on how not to have that happen again, or to step in where an adult is need to control a bad situation with a teacher or other child.

Those “kids” are 24, 26 and 30 now and I get the calls about work challenges, crazy co-workers or bosses with comments like I am so angry I need to talk though this decision. But they know they are loved “just the way they are”

We each are so much more than our behavior and if we are not listened to and cared about we learn to not trust, to build up walls to protect ourselves.

Love ya all,
Kim in N. California

@Kim I’m with you. Much the same things but NEVER heard my Dad say he loved me. Mom never did until I was an adult. I just read the various comments on here and think “I’m glad they had that growing up” or, “I’m glad for what they do or say” and move on.

Know that I love you all and the most important part: BELIEVE you all love me back!

love from New Mexico, RVRita

kevrit

Yesterday, Wednesday, I couldn’t get into the community all day! Error kept saying “Gateway issue”. Well, I know what that means so sent a message to MFP and they replied they knew about it and were working on it. I checked last night and was able to get in at about 8:30 pm, but was too tired to post. All caught up!

RVrita

kevrit

Today is:Butterflies, Moths, Spiders… time to research and get lost in the internet today!! Also, white day, but strangely, they show a pat of butter in the picture. Not truly white! Be an amateur scientist today! Do some chemistry with food!! (Recipes work!)

kevrit

Have to do it! HAPPY ‘PI’ DAY! (Been watching the Big Bang Theory lately! 3.14…. To infinity…..

RVRita

cityjaneLondon

NP rang just before I set off to say she wasn't qualified to do the brachial test! I still went up there to have the bloods done for the Ramipril. She said she would reschedule, but I suggested we ask the doctor as it doesn't seem necessary now. So will wait to hear.
She was very sweet. Her dad had recently had his knee replaced through the NHS, but through a private local hospital. We talked about pain management and my cruise decisions. So, I will talk to the ANP on the 25th, who she said was amazing. She said I definitely had enough medical reasons to cancel on the insurance.
Had a little cry just now. Beth's story about her niece made me cry. Just feel weepy.
The docs is only 100 yards away and I limped every step.

Looking forward to seeing all the family at Shandiz. I wonder if Bea will be wearing her dress. We will go on the bus.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

grandmallie

Well back and lived to tell the story.. hardest part was the shot of novicaine in the pallet ,that was a doozey.
Other than that all went well..really like the Dr loads he was telling corny jokes,I did alot of eye rolling
But he didn't charge me for the filling and gave me a discount on the extraction and N20
So that was great
1/2 my face will be numb for a bit but ,I'll live to tell the story..

barbiecat

One of my happiness commandments that I wrote for myself says "Come from a place of love"

Vickil57

1948CWB

Joy1580vb

bwcetc wrote: »

Kim ... family can be so dysfunctional. Hugs

Allie ... for decades I sent gifts to my two nieces that we no longer saw due to a very nasty divorce situation. Never heard a reply. Never even knew if they got the gifts. I reached out every year. Christmas. Easter. Valentine's Day. Birthdays. Nothing. And I almost stopped. My husband asked me why I was sending gifts. Was it to receive acknowledgement or to show them they were thought of and loved. So I kept sending the gifts. And then, one year, one of the girls ... then in her 20s ... reached out! She's shared a lot since then and I feel blessed that we now have a relationship! Choosing love is never wrong.

Beth

Beth, the best gift you gave your niece (both of them) was keeping the line of communication open. Wonderful that one of them reached out and you now have a relationship that I'm sure is valued by both of you. Sad that divorce can shatter extended family too.

Heather good that you are getting some answers to your ongoing pain.

Had a busy morning making perogies for Easter. Made sixteen dozen so putting my feet up for most of the rest of the day....except for short walks around the yard with my doggies. I am now down a full pound so I think the bit of walking I'm doing is helping with my weight loss. Going for a haircut tomorrow morning then might schedule Miss Lucy in for a groom. Will see what the weather is going to be like next week.

Joy

Snowflake1968

I’ve read through but didn’t make a lot of notes.

Kim - I am sorry you grew up without unconditional love from your mom.
You sure know how to give it.

Beth - that’s what I do with most of my family in NB, I don’t send gifts or cards every holiday, but I try to fairly regularly.

Allie - I’m so happy to see you are sending Carmine a card, she may not say anything now but it might make a difference later.

Heather - I’m so sorry you didn’t have better news.

I have been having classes in the afternoons this week and it’s completely turned my days around.
The last three days we have had presentations by Behaviour Analysts, one thing I learned is that we think of behaviour as bad, very rarely good. In actuality though even our act of answering the phone or not answering the phone when it rings is a behaviour. Neither good nor bad, just neutral.

What we refer to as bad behaviour, they are changing the term to “distressed behaviour”, the theory is that no child sets out to behave badly some type of distress happened to cause it.
It is our job to find out the reason.
One example given, was a little boy (non verbal) that every morning from 730-735 every morning would have a terrible tantrum, then it stopped except for a couple days a week.
It turned out that if the curtains were opened he saw other school busses go by and thought he missed his bus, his behaviour stopped when his bus arrived. The reason that it changed to only certain days was that Mom started working and Dad didn’t open the curtains.
They talked to the bus drivers. His bus driver out special decorations on it so he learned the others weren’t his bus and he didn’t miss it, the other drivers out signs in the window telling him they weren’t his bus.

I am finding this so fascinating, it makes me think back to every time a child I knew had a behaviour issue and how I may be mishandled it.

Off to class, ceramics this evening so probably won’t be able to catch up until tomorrow morning.

Tracey in Edmonton

Snowflake1968

Allie - I really fear the dentist too.

dlfk202000

SophieRosieMom wrote: »

When I saw Dr. D last week about my foot, he mentioned using Voltaren. I picked up some gel at Walmart a couple days ago and finally sat down to read the box. Too many warnings and it can take up to a week to kick in. Good grief. It's going back to the store and I'll pick up some Aspercreme, I see they make some with lidocaine. Hope that helps. There's no noticeable swelling on that foot at the end of the day, but still achiness during the day like arthritis - yet none showed up on the X-Ray. Crazy. I'm still thinking nerves.

We're supposed to see sunshine today, I'm ready.

Make it a fantastic day.

Lanette
SW WA State

We use the Amazon brand for Voltaren- so does my mom and MIL. It helps quite a bit.
We don't use it all the time but glad to have it on hand.

dlfk202000

Anniesquats100 wrote: »

I just bought myself some 4 oz bowls to control portions and a new nonstick skillet to reduce oil. Yay! Now I have to make room!

Annie in Delaware

using the smaller bowls/plates really helps- I very rarely use the regular dinner plates for myself. I use the kids Tupperware luncheon plates/snack cups/etc. My very favorite bowl I eat most meals out of is a 10oz rice bowl(the white bowls they serve rice in at Chinese and Japanese restaurants). I love the size, easy to hold and great portion control.
The only time I use full size or larger to eat out of is my salads- I go BIG on them(but NOT on the dressing)

Debbie
Napa Valley,CA

LisaInArkansas

Back from acupuncture, the storm held off long enough for me to beat the rain home (just barely). Big fat raindrops were hitting the car as I got home, but now it's just dark out there at 3:20 p.m. Lots of rain to the west headed our way, it looks like.

Good stuff on relationships based in love without conditions or expectations. All well said... not much here to add.

Going to curl up with a good book, I think, and enjoy the rain as much as I can. We're under a tornado watch, but the cooler the temperature gets, the better, and it's dropping fast. It's that collision of cold wind and hot air that gets things rotating. Fingers crossed nothing major.

Love y'all,
Lisa in AR

grandmallie

A little nap ,and I feel much better.
Smiles is spying on chicken's next door.
Lol

kevrit

pipcd34

Stats for the day-

Walk w/family- 2hrs 5min 29sec, 119elev, 2.83ap, 81ahr, 95mhr, 6.09mi= 589c
Strava app= 746c
Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 1hr 23min 4sec, 853elev, 118aw, 18.2amph, gear35, 114ahr, 162mhr, 50arpm, 25.14mi= 596c
Strava app= 563c
Zwift stats= 1hr 23min 6sec, 856elev, 118aw, 50arpm, 18.12amph, 25.1mi= 563c

Total cal 1185

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cityjaneLondon

Absolutely lovely birthday dinner with Bea and the family. She was wearing the dress and the bolero.

We all had a delicious kebab type meal, with salad, rice , and sauces. At the end they play Happy Birthday music, and bring on a cake with a Roman candle.

Here we all are. Apart from DDIL who took the photo.

Here's DDIL. And John.




My son drove the kids home and came back to pick us up. Very kind.

Tomorrow John is picking Edie up from school later, because she has a dance class. She will be staying the night with us, because Bea has a performance in Eastbourne. I'm going to do something with gluten free gnocchi.

On Monday we are going over to babysit Bea, because Edie has a dance performance at The Dôme. Today she came from a football match that they lost 11 - 0. :laugh: The other team were much older!

So, a lovely evening to take my mind off things.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx