Skinny girl and her obese boyfriend

septemberrr

I'm not a troll! I'm just someone who is truly concerned for her man's health and hoping to get a perceptive from a third person's (or in this case, the public's) POV.

I never knew it hurt that much to be told that one needs to re-think one's diet. In fact I thought he'd be glad that someone is showing him that much concern.

kyleekay10

Okay, before we all go trashing OP can we at least recognize she said she needs to take a step back? That's progress.

I agree her perception is skewed, but at least she's not pulling the "omg you guys are mean I came here for support" card. She's taking advice into consideration.

OP, by now you know your man is not obese and that nagging doesn't help. Lead by example. If that doesn't work and he reaches a point where his health is a legitimate concern, then reconsider taking action. But, I would bet if you simply start asking him to do fun activities with you and if you start cooking meals at home for you two (without making it obvious they are super healthy) everything will fall into place.

But remember overall, looks fade. Love him for who he is. Again, at this point there is no cause for concern regarding his health.

princessrisariri

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

TheRealParisLove

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

peeaanuut

i would like to see a picture to see how obese this fella is. I do agree that consuming large amounts of beer and whiskey can be unhealthy but its all relative. You seem more concerned that he is getting fatter and not that he might have a drinking problem or some other problem.

Alatariel75

I recognise that he feels annoyed at being nagged at, but I really wish i could do something for him. I mean, is it really too paranoid of me to equate his weight with health? I'm getting inundated with "findings" that go "A beer belly increases heart disease by two folds" etc, and it scares me to think that one day he might get a heart attack and die at 35 or something.

I admit i've also said some unpleasant words about his looks hoping it might knock him awake and i do regret that.

Anyhow, thanks for all the harsh words. I guess i really need to take a step back.

I bet stress from being nagged and insulted is far more likely to cause health issues than being 0.8 above a healthy BMI.

snazzyjazzy21

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

Achrya

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

This isn't the forum for that.

Achrya

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Her boyfriend is about...6 pounds overweight. He could poop his way back to normal. He doesn't need to cut carbs or anything else.

kyleekay10

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

About 12 beers and 8 oz of Whiskey spread over 2 days (assuming by weekend she meant Saturday and Sunday) doesn't sound awful for a dude his size, especially if he's young. Sounds like a typical twenty something year old.

Of course, I'm 22, newly single and just now discovering bars. Could be biased I suppose. :P

JDMarlowe

Hi there,

I'm not sure if this is a proper channel to seek advice, but I'm really at my wit's ends now

I'm a naturally skinny girl (both my parents are skinny) with a voracious appetite. I am in a long term relationship with this guy, B, who unfortunately does not share my good genes. He is 6" and 196 pounds, and 28 years old.

I love this man to bits but I worry constantly for his health as I understand the risks that obesity carries. He is a big guy, with a large paunch and huge thighs, and he loves his food and beer. He easily downs 4-5 pints of beer a day on the weekend, plus 1/3 bottle of whisky.

He does run though, perhaps for 30-40 min once or twice a week. His job sees him standing about 7 hours a day.

He has put on about 20 pounds in recent months, and he gets very annoyed when I tell him that he needs to get back into shape by adopting a healthier diet, i.e cutting out carbs and deep fried food. He doesn't binge on the fried stuff regularly, but he loves his carbs.

The ideal situation: I'd like to have him cut half his carb intake, and to only have deep fried food/red meat just once a week. And of course, reduce his booze intake by half as well (this is the hardest part as we both love our alcohol).

We often get into fights whenever I tick him off about his weight, and he goes into 100% defensive mode such as "You're eating as much as I am, why are you restricting me?", or "I like my weight, you can't do anything about it".

I have tried other methods such as suggesting that we go through this as a couple, with me eating whatever he eats, and I have offered to cook him lunch thrice a week to take to work, but he is still extremely stubborn and well, in denial.

Is there anyone facing a similar prob? How can I broach this topic again without offending him? Do note that I have tried many ways including 1) Blowing my top and threatening him (didn't work at all; got even worse), 2) The soft approach ("please let me help you", "I really care for you and I want you to be healthy") and 3) The Its Your F*cking Health ("If you don't eat healthy you WILL DIE YOUNG")

I wouldn't exactly call him obese.... BUT, honestly, there is nothing YOU can do about it. A healthy life style has to be WANTED by the individual. Sure, you can pressure him into things, but I am willing to bet that the results will be short term. You can;t help a person who doesn't want to help themselves. HE has to want it for HIMSELF. It's obvious that you care for this dudes health and well being, but he has to care about it also, which doesn't seem to be the case. All you can really do it support him and encourage him. See if he would like to go to the gym with you or engage in some type of sport/hobby together that is very physical. Nagging and hounding him will only push him farther away and it will be less likely to end with you guys being a couple.
Best of luck to you both!!!

septemberrr

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

kyleekay10

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

I just stuck up for you on page 1. Please don't go back to actively trying to force him into anything. :grumble:

BinaryPulsar

First things first. It's really not cool that you have been so harsh on him and insulting him about this. You could be hurting him, and building resentment and difficult feelings about himself. Men have feelings too, and they aren't always able to express it. He deserves to be treated better by his SO.

And, I know it's already been cleared up, but he is not obese.

determinedbutlazy

A guess a big booty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm 5'9" and 179 lbs (down from 265) and my elementary school students call me "pig" because, here in Korea, a 5'9" guy may weigh around 125-135 lbs. If you don't like the way he looks and it's too much for you to handle, move on and let him find someone who can handle it - literally.

I know this feel, I live in Japan and I am the height of an average Japanese man, and about 15-20kg heavier. Students have commented often on me being fat.

Mini_horse_lover

He is not obese at all. Leave him alone.

Achrya

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

I just stuck up for you on page 1. Please don't go back to actively trying to force him into anything. :grumble:

If my husband cooked for me and only gave me half a potato, after telling me numerous times how fat I'm getting, I'd throw an actual fit. You can't just screw with a person's potato.

anemoneprose

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

Ha! If you're going to sneak up on him like that, at least give the guy a steak. Pork chop, something. In general, (non-vegetarian) men do not complain about salads or half-potatoes when those are settled around the barbecued flesh of a farm animal.

septemberrr

A guess a big booty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm 5'9" and 179 lbs (down from 265) and my elementary school students call me "pig" because, here in Korea, a 5'9" guy may weigh around 125-135 lbs. If you don't like the way he looks and it's too much for you to handle, move on and let him find someone who can handle it - literally.

I know this feel, I live in Japan and I am the height of an average Japanese man, and about 15-20kg heavier. Students have commented often on me being fat.

We're Japanese, and my bf is a GIANT amongst the little people

septemberrr

Thanks everyone for the (incredibly fast) responses. Some of them are harsh and rightly so.

It won't stop me from striving for a healthier lifestyle, and I must will myself to quit nagging. I will however, stick it through with him and despite my love for unhealthy shizz myself, will recommend healthy options when we eat out.

I will aim to load him on a high protein diet (stealthily).

Sorry if i struck a few raw nerves here. I guess i'll never be able to comprehend how it feels to be "advised to lose weight", and it's easy for to assume that my bf would not be insulted.