Skinny girl and her obese boyfriend

boydglin

BMI is a load of crap everyone is assuming that because this guy is getting good BMI figures based on height and weight that he isnt really overweight and that septemberrr is wrong for thinking so.

the guy might be a really tall featherweight so when he packs on the weight it doesnt look so bad on the BMI scale i have a friend like that he is quite tall but a naturally small boned wispy sort of guy. he is actually quite muscular although he doesnt look it and his BMI has him being massively underweight but if you knew him you would know that isnt true its just the way he is built.

Me on the other hand, even when i was at my prime and had a body fat percentage of 4% my BMI had me at being overweight but im just a stocky little fella short and nuggety even without excess weight.

i dont put too much stock in something like BMI calculated on height and weight. too many variables.

im sure if she thinks he is overweight and she is going to this much trouble then there is probably something to what she is saying.

Otterluv

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

I just stuck up for you on page 1. Please don't go back to actively trying to force him into anything. :grumble:

If my husband cooked for me and only gave me half a potato, after telling me numerous times how fat I'm getting, I'd throw an actual fit. You can't just screw with a person's potato.

Truth

boydglin

can i just add this Keto diet sounds absolutely unhealthy. it might burn fat but what about your cholesterol. if you truly claim it isnt about the weight and its about his health i dont think you would be considering this Keto diet.

just make healthy tasty meals it really isnt that hard. i live with a vegan and i was surprised to find that a lot of the meals she cooks taste better than the stuff i eat. delicious stir fry's and curries, fried rice, cous cous there really is a lot of options if you look.

morrocan chicken and soups. they can be delicous they just take a little extra work to prepare

LMick1986

What confuses me about this is that you claim to be concerned with his health. He's BARELY into the overweight category and you're saying he's super unhealthy. However, you also said you could basically eat him under the table. Maybe take a look at yourself before projecting such negativity at him. This is all a physical thing and really unfair as to how you're treating him.

kyleekay10

BMI is a load of crap everyone is assuming that because this guy is getting good BMI figures based on height and weight that he isnt really overweight and that septemberrr is wrong for thinking so.

the guy might be a really tall featherweight so when he packs on the weight it doesnt look so bad on the BMI scale i have a friend like that he is quite tall but a naturally small boned wispy sort of guy. he is actually quite muscular although he doesnt look it and his BMI has him being massively underweight but if you knew him you would know that isnt true its just the way he is built.

Me on the other hand, even when i was at my prime and had a body fat percentage of 4% my BMI had me at being overweight but im just a stocky little fella short and nuggety even without excess weight.

i dont put too much stock in something like BMI calculated on height and weight. too many variables.

im sure if she thinks he is overweight and she is going to this much trouble then there is probably something to what she is saying.

Everyone agreed he was in the overweight category. We disagreed with her statement saying he was obese.

DopeItUp

I think you should keep nagging him until he leaves, that seems to be what you're aiming to do. Obviously you can't see it, but what you are describing is one of the most offensive things you could do to someone.

Just imagine if he nagged you about your food intake or your weight or told you you looked fat in those jeans all the time. How well would that go over? You'd go nuclear, I guarantee it.

Your options are:

1) Deal with it.
2) Leave.
3) Keep tearing down his self-esteem until he leaves.

chrisdavey

BMI is BS. Can't tell if someone is overweight just from height and weight. (I'm nearly obese apparently at 10% BF)

There is no way you are both consuming the same amount of calories even if you say you do have a fast metabolism.

Drinking that much everyday is the bit I'd worry about if you are worried about his health. That is not moderation.

TheRealParisLove

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

This isn't the forum for that.

I don't think I understand this. This lady is complaining about her boyfriend's bad habits. No one addressed what I thought was the most obvious. She did mention it, after all.

ninerbuff

Lol, 5'7" and 190lbs here! He doesn't sound obese.............................

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

kyleekay10

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

This isn't the forum for that.

I don't think I understand this. This lady is complaining about her boyfriend's bad habits. No one addressed what I thought was the most obvious. She did mention it, after all.

She meant MFP isn't the place to diagnose alcoholism. I addressed it, though. Quoted below. :flowerforyou:

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

About 12 beers and 8 oz of Whiskey spread over 2 days (assuming by weekend she meant Saturday and Sunday) doesn't sound awful for a dude his size, especially if he's young. Sounds like a typical twenty something year old.

Of course, I'm 22, newly single and just now discovering bars. Could be biased I suppose. :P

JuantonBliss

I'm not a troll! I'm just someone who is truly concerned for her man's health and hoping to get a perceptive from a third person's (or in this case, the public's) POV.

I never knew it hurt that much to be told that one needs to re-think one's diet. In fact I thought he'd be glad that someone is showing him that much concern.

Are you a hypochondriac by any chance?

Donald_Dozier_50

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

― Albert Einstein

It sounds as if you are a part of the problem rather than a solution. You speak of your appetite and of your love for alcohol. Do you really expect him to change to meet this standard you have for him if you continue the way you are?

Velum_cado

He's not obese. He's barely overweight according to the CDC's BMI chart - not a perfect measure, but there it is.

Here's the thing: Fat people know they are fat. And they know where to find information about how to be less fat. You bringing it up does nothing but hurt his feelings. NOTHING but hurt his feelings. I suggest that you learn to live with it or go find someone who fits your image of good health.

Exactly. This.

And remember, fat =/= unhealthy, just like skinny = healthy. If you're eating the same things he is, you might want to overhaul your own lifestyle, OP.

Achrya

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

This isn't the forum for that.

I don't think I understand this. This lady is complaining about her boyfriend's bad habits. No one addressed what I thought was the most obvious. She did mention it, after all.

She meant MFP isn't the place to diagnose alcoholism. I addressed it, though. Quoted below. :flowerforyou:

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

About 12 beers and 8 oz of Whiskey spread over 2 days (assuming by weekend she meant Saturday and Sunday) doesn't sound awful for a dude his size, especially if he's young. Sounds like a typical twenty something year old.

Of course, I'm 22, newly single and just now discovering bars. Could be biased I suppose. :P

Summed it up for me. If someone had written a post about my drinking habits five years ago I would have been branded a budding alcoholic. I wasn't (I rarely drink now, once a month if that.) I was just enjoying all the booze the world had to offer. Frequently. :drinker:

bunbunzee44

he has to want it himself, you can't force him..

you can always make those healthy foods and be an example, maybe he'll eat it and like it too, but that's all I'd do at this point.

jetlag

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

OMG, seriously? Leave him alone! And for the love of god, don't foist your food crazes on him. Low carb?? WHY??

m00tmike

Damn, I'd love to be this ladies definition of obese! I dream of being 190 lol.

Seriously though, there's nothing you can do about it. A person will only get healthy when they are ready to get healthy. In the meantime support the good choices he DOES make.

septemberrr

I don't think we're alcoholic. We can easily go through the entire week booze-free, and then knock back perhaps 2 or 3 pints each per night on friday and saturday, OR (not AND) 6-7 glasses of whisky with a splash of water.

I'm not a hypochondriac. I do however harbour an unhealthy paranoia, and that is that he'd die prematurely. I even wake up in the middle of the night to check on his breathing, haha. And I guess that forms the root of my problems - I don't care how he looks like (though hey, I wouldnt mind a smaller paunch on him!), and I just want to ensure that his health is optimal and not besieged by myriad of problems in his later years due to his bad choice of diet in his younger days. I hope that sounds fair. We're getting married next year, so naturally I'd want a long-lived marriage!

I know that skinny doesnt equate healthy, but I eat in moderation and my lunches are usually light affairs of clear soups and rice or rice+vegetables. He however, goes for the full meal of generous heapings of rice and vege plus a deep fried drumstick or two. And coke.

Achrya

I don't think we're alcoholic. We can easily go through the entire week booze-free, and then knock back perhaps 2 or 3 pints each per night on friday and saturday, OR (not AND) 6-7 glasses of whisky with a splash of water.

I'm not a hypochondriac. I do however harbour an unhealthy paranoia, and that is that he'd die prematurely. I even wake up in the middle of the night to check on his breathing, haha. And I guess that forms the root of my problems - I don't care how he looks like (though hey, I wouldnt mind a smaller paunch on him!), and I just want to ensure that his health is optimal and not besieged by myriad of problems in his later years due to his bad choice of diet in his younger days. I hope that sounds fair. We're getting married next year, so naturally I'd want a long-lived marriage!

I know that skinny doesnt equate healthy, but I eat in moderation and my lunches are usually light affairs of clear soups and rice or rice+vegetables. He however, goes for the full meal of generous heapings of rice and vege plus a deep fried drumstick or two. And coke.

A) whoa. Seriously. Relax.

two whole drumsticks? Geezus

jetlag

Carbs will NOT kill him. Ironically, the booze might (and I say that as a drinker).

You seriously check he's still breathing in the night? Can I suggest you might be the one who needs behaviour modification?