Skinny girl and her obese boyfriend

DesireeNL

Hm I thought this was about a TV show.. sounds like the typical format of fat guy with skinny wife

Wildflower0106

If this is how you are now when he is your bf, I can't imagine how you would act if he were you husband.

He can do better...

silken555

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

Go right ahead and do that for him...just don't be surprised when he slips out and gets his not-remotely-obese *kitten* to McDonald's for two double big macs, a large fry and a huge soft drink...maybe even an apple pie or two or three...

randomtai

If this is how you are now when he is your bf, I can't imagine how you would act if he were you husband.

He can do better...

This... OP you sound incredibly shallow.... I feel sorry for you BF.

mab33

Imagine if you were in his shoes. If my husband ever said anything like that to me I would be livid and justifiably hurt.

Instead of harping on him about his diet and drinking (which you cannot change, by the way. People don't change for others, only themselves in the long run), why don't you encourage doing activities together. Like riding bikes.

Or hey, what about weight lifting together? 196 is a fine weight for a 6' man, especially if he has muscles. And everybody looks better after lifting, even you being skinny could benefit form it.

He's a guy, you're castrating him with your comments. Don't try to change him, just encourage him.

kr1stadee

He's put on 20 lbs, so at 6 feet tall, he was 178.. that's rather small, not chunky.

Maybe suggest a weight lifting routine for the both of you (like Stronglifts). You'll both work on strength, and you won't have to worry about being the skinny girl!

padams2359

If he is eating the majority of his evening meals at home, change what you are cooking, or how you are cooking it. I cooked through both Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Starting in January, I was in denial at the time, I started cooking for my father in law about 3 times a week. Meaning, I would go there and cook, and show him how to cook things differently. Living in South Louisiana is not condusive to losing weight. He has heart problems, and was told to loose weight. I told him to eat what I fix, which I showed him how to prepare, and if he was somewhere else to call me and I would tell him if he could have it. My mother in law cannot boil water. In 4 months time, he lost 60 lbs. His cardiologist had not seen him in that time, and didn't know what he did, but he was amazed by his appearance, and test results.

cynthiaj777

I think I'm having the same reaction everyone else is having....at 178 lbs and 6 foot tall, the boy was skinny when you met him! If you think that's overweight/heavy, and that's why you were attracted to him then your views are surely skewed, and I wouldn't be afraid to say you are probably far too skinny. Your boyfriend is normal. If he can run 30-40 minutes twice a week he isn't out of shape. If you want him to lose fat and gain muscle, he is going to weigh even more. Where are you getting that 198 lbs is so overweight that you felt compelled to write a thread on it?

Seriously, chick, loosen up. If you want him to have a 6 pack, take his *kitten* to the gym and lift some damn weights. :noway:

cynthiaj777

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

This isn't the forum for that.

I don't think I understand this. This lady is complaining about her boyfriend's bad habits. No one addressed what I thought was the most obvious. She did mention it, after all.

She meant MFP isn't the place to diagnose alcoholism. I addressed it, though. Quoted below. :flowerforyou:

Am I the only one who noticed that the guy has a binge drinking problem? He may be on his way to alcoholism.

About 12 beers and 8 oz of Whiskey spread over 2 days (assuming by weekend she meant Saturday and Sunday) doesn't sound awful for a dude his size, especially if he's young. Sounds like a typical twenty something year old.

Of course, I'm 22, newly single and just now discovering bars. Could be biased I suppose. :P

Summed it up for me. If someone had written a post about my drinking habits five years ago I would have been branded a budding alcoholic. I wasn't (I rarely drink now, once a month if that.) I was just enjoying all the booze the world had to offer. Frequently. :drinker:

Me too! :ohwell: When we were younger, we worked hard during the week & partied harder during the weekend (high stress job at Emergency 24 hour Veterinary Hospital)...these days it's called 'binge drinking'....back in the day, it was called responsible :laugh:

I thought this too! I would go out and have a good 20 shots a night when I was college. It wasn't called binge drinking back then....it was called, do your **** all week then hit the bars hard all weekend....lol. Binge drinking is now consider, I believe, when you start to lose memory, but I swear, I don't remember a single weekend from my entire college years. I guess I was an alcoholic who now MAY have ONE glass of wine a month...if that! ha

SezxyStef

I think I'm having the same reaction everyone else is having....at 178 lbs and 6 foot tall, the boy was skinny when you met him! If you think that's overweight/heavy, and that's why you were attracted to him then your views are surely skewed, and I wouldn't be afraid to say you are probably far too skinny. Your boyfriend is normal. If he can run 30-40 minutes twice a week he isn't out of shape. If you want him to lose fat and gain muscle, he is going to weigh even more. Where are you getting that 198 lbs is so overweight that you felt compelled to write a thread on it?

Seriously, chick, loosen up. If you want him to have a 6 pack, take his *kitten* to the gym and lift some damn weights. :noway:

took the words right outta my mouth...regardless of the "cultural norms" I would like to see how she would feel if the tables were turned..telling her she was too skinny or not muscular enough or totally icky now...

I have two men in my house...son 19 6 ft3 210 lbs...he needs to lose some fat around his middle...husband 31 5 ft 11 maybe 185 not sure...we don't own a scale...he is friggen hot...doesn't exercise either of them but the one thing I don't do to either of them is say..."YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT"...:noway: :noway: :noway: that's just rude...insensitive and a bit too controlling even for me and I am the Master Control freak...

bob_day

He is 6" and 196 pounds, and 28 years old.

Six inches tall and 196 pounds? That would mean he has a
BMI of 3827 !! Definitely very obese! Seriously though, at
six *feet" and 196 pounds, he is overweight but not obese.

But it's his choice, and continuing to yap at him about his weight
is not going to help your relationship with him. But, are you sure
you want to be in a relationship with a guy who drinks that much?

RunWinterGarden

This chick sounds like my ex wife who told me I was too fat to have sex with when I was 5'11" and 195lbs.

sarah_lou22

Yep, he's literally 0.8 over a healthy BMI, come on.

^this

samammay

1) try get him to cut his carbs, but NOT the meat.
Just this one thing, see how low he can get it in a day almost like it is a challenge.
Log it for him, or get him in the habit of sing MFP and not lying to it.

If he copes fine with this, then how about trying him on a keto diet. Eat mainly fatty meat, cheese, butter, cream basically all those 'fat' foods you think are bad for you etc, few dark green veg on the side, almost zero carbs. Don't even have to count calories at first, just again let him get used to that. He will probs feel fuller more and eat less. See if you can get him to start doing weight lifting to build up muscle to burn off extra cals at rest.

So after used to that, then start calorie counting as well as keto diet.

Each step is little, and he doesnt have to cut down on or give up one of the foods he loves so won't see it as having no pleasure.

Sell it as the bacon and cheese diet, he'll love the sound of that and its pretty damn accurate and crazy as it sounds, it works and burns fat like nothing else.

You could even try it yourself, just make sure you count cals and are eating enough to not lose weight. It will also set you up well for starting to do lifting if you want to 'tone' up a bit

Hi, thanks for this! It actually sounds do-able. I was actually planning to start cooking him meals healthy lunches based on grilled chicken or baked fish and just vegetables, with perhaps half a potato with a little butter. Does that sound realistic?

Go right ahead and do that for him...just don't be surprised when he slips out and gets his not-remotely-obese *kitten* to McDonald's for two double big macs, a large fry and a huge soft drink...maybe even an apple pie or two or three...

With his GF telling him he is fat, if I were her I would be a lot less worried about him going out and picking up a few big macs than I would be about him going out and picking up the girl at the counter selling the big macs.

LarryDUk

I would dump him now. Clearly he is too fat and should be put out to pasture. He will be single forever and you and your new skinny boyfriend can just laugh at him. Good luck.

Hummingbird82

"OP should be thankful her BF hasn't dumped her superficial bum for someone better. "
This IS EXACTLY what I was thinking when I first started reading this. What guy would want to be with someone so superficial and makes them feel bad about themselves, even sdmitted to saying mean hurtful things to him. I say she is lucky to have thsi guy causeIf I was a dude and dating her I would have dumped you already!

Mslmesq

Sweetie, I haven't read the other posts, but the one thing I can tell you is: YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. Well, unless they want to make the changes themselves.

When it comes to men and relationships, not only will you not change them, you will just cause problems in the relationship.

About the best you can do is set a good example (while saying nothing) and see if the other person becomes interested. Or, decide that these are deal breakers for you and break up with your boyfriend to look for a more compatible lifelong mate. But you cannot, and should not, try to exert control over someone else. That is a type of codependency. The sooner you stop trying, the happier you both will be.

Best luck.

Makers72

Break up with the fatty, he can barely fit through the door! Though i am single :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:


This was a joke FYI, id hate for you to see me if you think he is huge :noway: :noway: :noway:

steveostick

If this entire situation was flipped around it would be unacceptable. He is 6" and 198?! Not even considered overweight...

God forbid you would gain 20 lbs (OMG 20 lbs), and he started making comments to you about needing to watch your diet. It would be absurd.

Life is full of ups and downs. Especially if you are in "love" with someone. You think you will stay your same weight your whole life? I would never wish this on anyone, but what if you got in a car accident and lost a leg and couldn't work out and gained 80 lbs permanently? Would it be right for him to give you a hard time? No.

You love someone for who they are. If you only love the people in your life skin deep, you will find yourself alone and unhappy. I don't mean to be so harsh, but when I read this, I picture a very selfish, spoiled, pretty-girl, who is looking for attention.

Look at this title! Skinny girl and her OBESE boyfriend? Go to hell... Seriously

SLLRunner

It won't stop me from striving for a healthier lifestyle, and I must will myself to quit nagging. I will however, stick it through with him and despite my love for unhealthy shizz myself, will recommend healthy options when we eat out.

You're not getting it. You can only strive for a healthier lifestyle for you. He's a big boy and he can decide for himself what he wants to eat and drink. You are not his mother.

I will aim to load him on a high protein diet (stealthily).

There's a difference if you decide to cook a meal and make it high protein, but you cannot "load" him up on anything.

Sorry if i struck a few raw nerves here. I guess i'll never be able to comprehend how it feels to be "advised to lose weight", and it's easy for to assume that my bf would not be insulted.

Okay, I'll tell you. I was overweight my entire life, up until I turned 40. It was then I took control. I'm here now because I gained about 30 of 75 lbs back, have lost 21 lbs, and now have about 11 left to go. Well, my entire life my dad hounded me about my weight, telling me exactly what I needed to do to lose weight. As an adult, people told me I needed to lose weight and told me exactly how to do it. People who told me how to lose weight didn't have weight issues, they were able to sustain.

It hurt that like heck that people were telling me how to lose weight, that I was fat, because it was the center of our relationships. I was not accepted for who I was. I was not being encouraged, I was being told what I should do so my weight did not make them feel so uncomfortable, so they would not be embarrassed around me. That is what if feels like to be hounded about your weight.

I want to encourage you to focus on yourself, and if you can't handle that you beau is a few pounds overweight, then go find someone who is the perfect weight for you.