Quite Frankly I'm Stumped...

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  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I love my boyfriend
    He supports my diet and ENJOYS my new body :)
    He always makes sure to accomidate me at meal and snack times

    We have a panrty full of junk food and a section of it is always nuts and other healthy stuff I can eat. He never forces me and loved me at 40 lbs overweight.

    "not holding a spoon to your mouth" is a rude thing to say to you. I am sorry you have a mean not understanding boyfriend.

    Lolwat?


    Some girls are cray.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    Let him eat what he wants, and you do what you have to do to be healthy and happy. Leave one meal a week where you can indulge in something decadent, if you want. Make it a special night out. When you do go out, make healthier menu choices. You have to be happy with yourself first!
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,499 Member
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    I'm not sure I would admit to a love interest that I can't resist temptation. That might not bode well for the future.

    She's right. You should not communicate and lie about it.

    <shrug> I would never date a guy who told me he couldn't resist temptation. That's just begging for trust issues. But to each her own.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    "not holding a spoon to your mouth" is a rude thing to say to you. I am sorry you have a mean not understanding boyfriend.


    This is absurd. What you lack is self-control and willpower. NOT a good boyfriend.


    (For the record, many people struggle with their willpower. This is not an attack on you, just my two cents on the root of the problem).
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Seriously, stop blaming him.

    If you want things to change, then change it. Suggest places to go, don't order the ice cream, cook dinner for him (I hear men like that sort of thing), make better decisions when you're out, make different decisions when you're not together. Be responsible for yourself.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I was in a similar position with someone. Fortunately, I was not emotionally attached so I cut him loose.

    Hope you guys can get on the same page with this. Maybe you can plan some activity-focused dates or introduce him to some healthier foods and desserts.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm not sure I would admit to a love interest that I can't resist temptation. That might not bode well for the future.

    She's right. You should not communicate and lie about it.

    <shrug> I would never date a guy who told me he couldn't resist temptation. That's just begging for trust issues. But to each her own.
    She's talking about food. Good grief.
  • margelizard
    margelizard Posts: 89 Member
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    Same situation for me too! I am awful at self control, as is my hubby. Before, we would go out two or three times a week and then cook the rest of the time (but always go overboard on portions).

    I definitely found a serious discussion helped with this. Really sitting him down and letting him know what I would do and wouldn't do anymore was really helpful.

    I have found that I need to rely on myself more often to get to where I want to be. My husband is just at a different stage than I am on the weight loss.

    Have you tried to cook for your man? Having a bunch of awesome recipes and mad cooking skills really helped me to ween us off of going out. If there's a dish he really likes in a restaurant, maybe try making a tasty and lighter version of it at home? Save some cash and allow better portion control and the like.

    Personally, I am not the kind of person who could give up eating ice cream or go into a bakery and not buy something. I enjoy food so much that I refuse to limit myself to eating "healthy" food all the time. Try and work your treats in every once in a while and if you eat over your calories once a week, then try not to sweat it too much. The point of this is to be healthier, lose weight and make better choices, which I feel is not realistic if you give up everything you enjoy. Also, it's a bit of a buzz kill in relationships to be like 'nah, we can't have pizza tonight' etc.
  • supahstar71
    supahstar71 Posts: 926 Member
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    About 7 months ago I met a guy who I am completely head over heels for. Since that time I have gained almost 30 pounds. He has no sense of healthy eating and enjoys taking me out for dinner, having ice cream for dessert. Lately I have noticed my sex drive is dwindling and I just feel ill all the time. I have tried to tell him I can't continue to eat this unhealthy lifestyle and his response is he's not holding a spoon to my mouth. This is true and i have over indulged for the last 7 months and my waistline sure shows it. How do i get him to understand that the tempatation is more than I can handle? that I need support in my journey to a healthy weight.

    Sometimes I feel like he's trying to make me fat....


    :noway: WAIT! He takes you out to dinner??? What an *kitten*!!! :explode:



    You're an adult hon. Take responsibility. :flowerforyou:
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
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    Seriously, stop blaming him.

    If you want things to change, then change it. Suggest places to go, don't order the ice cream, cook dinner for him (I hear men like that sort of thing), make better decisions when you're out, make different decisions when you're not together. Be responsible for yourself.

    Yep, this.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Seriously, stop blaming him.

    If you want things to change, then change it. Suggest places to go, don't order the ice cream, cook dinner for him (I hear men like that sort of thing), make better decisions when you're out, make different decisions when you're not together. Be responsible for yourself.

    This.
  • rowanwood
    rowanwood Posts: 510 Member
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    You can't let him be an excuse.. .but that being said, AFTER I'd lost about 30 lbs, my husband said, 'you know, I'm sure I was never helpful with this, since I always think feeding you is a good way to show love." So that can be an issue. I KNOW food = love is my BIGGEST issue.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    his response is he's not holding a spoon to my mouth.

    Sounds like a smart guy to me.
    Seriously, stop blaming him.
    You're blaming the wrong person. It's nobodies fault or responsibility but your own. Rather than trying to change him, try to change yourself.

    You're the weak one giving into temptation.

    QFT
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
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    It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

    At my house there is a gal of ice cream, 2 boxes of cookies, Reece's minis in the fridge and BBQ chips at any given moment. I do the grocery shopping so yes I am the one buying them but they are in the house for my DH and 2 boys.

    It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

    I do indulge when I want to but I do so within my cals. I do not blame my DH for enjoying snacks or my kind for not wanting to eat carrots and apples all the time. They are healthy.

    It is your choice what you put in your mouth.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    "not holding a spoon to your mouth" is a comment that would cause a fight

    In YOUR relationship, perhaps. It doesn't make the OP's BF mean or "not understanding."
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
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    How do i get him to understand that the tempatation is more than I can handle? that I need support in my journey to a healthy weight.

    Sometimes I feel like he's trying to make me fat....

    2gws494.jpg

    postit.png

    Or you can keep getting bigger
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I love my boyfriend
    He supports my diet and ENJOYS my new body :)
    He always makes sure to accomidate me at meal and snack times

    We have a panrty full of junk food and a section of it is always nuts and other healthy stuff I can eat. He never forces me and loved me at 40 lbs overweight.

    "not holding a spoon to your mouth" is a rude thing to say to you. I am sorry you have a mean not understanding boyfriend.

    Lolwat?


    Some girls are cray.

    He loves me crazy
    and doesnt make rude comments to me
    and supports me

    He's a keeper

    "not holding a spoon to your mouth" is a comment that would cause a fight

    If I made that comment to a girl and she started a fight, I would assume that she is emotionally immature AND insecure. I would reevaluate my relationship choices.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

    At my house there is a gal of ice cream, 2 boxes of cookies, Reece's minis in the fridge and BBQ chips at any given moment. I do the grocery shopping so yes I am the one buying them but they are in the house for my DH and 2 boys.

    It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

    I do indulge when I want to but I do so within my cals. I do not blame my DH for enjoying snacks or my kind for not wanting to eat carrots and apples all the time. They are healthy.

    It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

    Sometimes you have no choice.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    "not holding a spoon to your mouth" is a comment that would cause a fight

    In YOUR relationship, perhaps. It doesn't make the OP's BF mean or "not understanding."

    I think that makes him VERY understanding in regards to self-responsibility/accountability. I also give him bonus points for saying it straight. Hi5 to that guy right there.

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