Quite Frankly I'm Stumped...

Beckilovespizza

My lovely boyfriend likes to eat a fair amount of crap and also likes a beer (or 3)! When he has a beer I have a cola zero, when he has potatoes with his dinner I stick to the same meal just no potatoes. I have tried to make my healthy eating not effect him by having similar meals just mine without the carbs or with less fat. Also a lot of low fat foods taste just the same so I buy those when shopping, he doesnt even realise! My lovely boyfriend now can see a difference in my appearance and is going to try cut down the beer and carbs. I have never nagged him and for us i think zero nagging was the key to him wanting to join me. Good luck with your healthy eating and hopefully your fella will follow you.

TheRealParisLove

I have tried to tell him I can't continue to eat this unhealthy lifestyle and his response is he's not holding a spoon to my mouth. This is true and i have over indulged for the last 7 months and my waistline sure shows it. How do i get him to understand that the tempatation is more than I can handle? that I need support in my journey to a healthy weight.

Sometimes I feel like he's trying to make me fat....

Just tell him that you can't go with him when he want to eat at restaurants. It needs to be off the table (pun intended) as far as couples activities go. If you are out and about, and he insists he needs a DQ blizzard (you know those things are over 600 calories for the small size, right?) tell him that you will wait for him elsewhere while he eats his treat. This is pretty easy to accomplish in a shopping center, not so much if you are in a stand alone restaurant. But generally, there should be someplace you can escape to so that you aren't faced with these temptations.

If he protests that you are being ridiculous, simply indicate that what you've been doing isn't working. He may not be holding the spoon to your mouth, but your will power is not strong enough at this stage to resist treats that are in your face. It's something you have to work at. And until that time, you are going to have to stay away from the temptations until you can build up your will power muscles.

I get it. I'm like that too. If there are delicious treats available, I'm going to eat them. I could stop myself, but the will power involved in the restraint is almost painful. I become irritable and no fun to be around. It's better if I just take a walk while my husband enjoys his snacks.

jackiecamarena

Edited because I didn't bother reading past the first post.

I agree with all of those that said what goes into your body is your choice, but it can be really hard to resist temptation with such an unsupportive partner. Your other half should be supportive of you. They don't have to change their eating to cater to yours, but he doesn't have to point out your weight gain. That is hurtful and you don't need to be around that kind of energy. Let him cook his own food and you cook yours. The guy sounds like a jerk.

YaGigi

Oh hon, don't blame him. It's not his fault you're gaining weight. You have to admit that he doesn't hold a spoon to your mouth, he's right about that.

But please understand that he doesn't do it to hurt you, no way. He is in love and he wants to spend time with you, and he wants to treat you nice, and he thinks that getting you yummy food will make you happy. But it's your choice to eat it or not.

You should understand that in a relationship one shouldn't change oneself in order to be loved. So he doesn't change HIS eating habits for you to love him. YOU want to lose weight, not him, so it's YOUR choice to change YOUR diet. He can still eat whatever he wants. Your decision to change your diet doesn't affect him or your colleagues, or your family, or restaurants in your city.

You should develop your own strength to avoid eating extra calories or bad food. You will have this kind of temptations all your life everywhere - at home, at work, grocery shopping, TV ads, restaurants, etc. you can't put your blame on others, you should blame yourself for not been strong enough to follow your regime.

I do understand you in terms of being annoyed with it. I'm annoyed too sometimes. My man eats a LOT but he also exercises a lot, he has a very good body. He loves pizza, big steaks, fried potatoes, bread with lots of butter. And you know what? He knows I'm trying to lose weight but it is not of his concern because he finds me attractive anyway. My diet is not a big deal for him. We often have date nights and travel together, and I just try to eat less and be cautious of my choices. Sometimes he brings me treats like chocolates and cakes, and I'm grateful for this because his intentions are good If I tell him "oh no, why you bring me this chocolate hearts, don't you know I'm trying to lose weight, you unsupportive SOB" he just would feel hurt and confused.

My parents have even more food at home, God bless them, but I can't imaging blaming them for being unsupportive. They support my desire to lose weight but they're not hiding all the food when I come to them, that would be silly.

Sporks42

I'm going to mean as well. When I started dating my guy I piled on the pounds, I went from a slightly overweight (but hot) 155 to 200lb, and since the wedding it's gone up to 225. It seems like a common story, you get into a happy relationship, you go out to eat, you pile on the pounds. The problem with my husband and I is that he doesn't eat during the day, and then he has a massive dinner. I on the other hand am starving when I wake up, then I eat lunch, followed by a massive dinner (that he cooks usually). When I told him I was utterly depressed with my weight, he sprung to action, he always serves dinner (because I hate serving) so he started giving me smaller portion sizes. He learned to cook delicious low calorie meals but still cooks his carb loaded Italian dishes, and his calorie packed Asian dishes, he just gives me less. He hasn't changed his plans, he really hasn't had to, he has a little bit of a pot belly, so he cut his soda intake and is shedding inches. During the day I've started to make healthier choices because I love his food so much better then my fried egg sandwich breakfast, savin' up my calories!

You have to do it for you, but there is no shame in having someone support you. Some people don't mind a guy that's not supportive, but for me personally I couldn't do it. I support him in all his goals and dreams, and I expect the same back.

Now here is the mean part. I married my man because we just fit. We are still in the honeymoon phase (we've only been married since March) but he's perfect for me, I can't wait for him to get home from work. I think you need to sit down and assess your future with this man, is he the one you see yourself married to for life, is he just a fun fling you have in the now? Your food incompatibility will be the subject of many a conversation, maybe even argument. If both you and he are in the for the long haul, you both need to sit down and discuss solutions, and if one or neither of you is, then distance yourself a few days a week to really get the calories down. These solutions you come up with will have to be a compromise that you will have to work out with him, this forum can only give you so many suggestions, but use the great (mean) responses to get some common ground.

But ask yourself if you're happy. I don't know you, never will, but I for one would be furious if my husband asked me to make food I didn't like on a regular basis, or order pizza three nights a week. He might not be the one to make compromises with you, and you really have some soul searching to do. I think the moral of the "mean" replies is he's certainly not the guy for many of us! If you're happy, you're happy, and you will have to figure out a way on your own to loose the pounds, if it means not eating during the day, or eating smaller portions of the food he loves, that's the type of man you have, he is very set in his ways, and from what you say, he isn't changing at all.

Good luck in loosing the pounds, and in your future!

stumegsmum

How dare he notice your weight gain?


How about letting him fend for himself while you continue cooking for yourself?

This ^^