Kids or no kids?

FitCanuckChick

I fully support people's decisions to not have children. Children are hard. Your life is very different, it's no longer just your own. Basically you have to "share" everything forever. Every decision no long just concerns you.

BUT being afraid of being "fat" is a rather odd reason. I have a better body now, after 3 children, then I've ever had.

This - after kids I had the BEST body of my entire life.

Op - If you are worried about getting fat, there are things beyond our control (medically) that may lead us to become fat - I am not sure what that number is for you (10 pound, 20 pound gain), but if getting fat at all is a huge concern, I would talk to someone so you are right with the way you feel.

dcglobalgirl

If you really, truly wanted children, the potential bodily side effects would be a non issue for you. Simple as that.

This

Michelle_dirtracer

I get told all of the time that I am selfish for not wanting kids. No doctors will "fix" me or my boyfriend because we do not have kids yet. It is my body and I know what I want.

Hildy_J

'If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.' - Francis Bacon

lisalsd1

I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I had them at 28 and 31. Now at 33, I am smaller than I have ever been...and I have no belly pudge. I do have a stretch mark from my second kid on my stomach, BUT I have never carried my weight in my stomach. So not everyone gets a "mom pouch."

The most important question to ask yourself is...would you regret not having kids? You only have a limited time in your life to have your own children (physically), and you have a lot more time to lose the weight.

jcmrax5

If you "don't know" and aren't 100% sure, DON'T HAVE KIDS.

Seriously. The fact that you had to ask, just don't.

yup.
you cant be selfish and have kids. they deserve everything and then some. you have kids and then whine about your weight they are just going to think you dont/didnt want them and that your figure was more important then they are.

ElsaVonMarmalade

You don't need a reason to not have kids, you need a reason to have them.

I had them because I wanted to have that particular kind of love in my life, I want adult children when I'm old, and I predicted that my partner would be a great mom and have beautiful babies (both turned out to be true). They are expensive and inconvenient and needy and I'm OK with that because I love them and I get a whole lot of intangible good out of our relationship and they push me to be my best.

If that stuff, or your version of that stuff, does not outweigh the potential to put on some pounds - no, don't have kids. And don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decision, because it's none of their business.

cdahl383

Kids are awesome! They're a ton of work, they'll change your life completely, but it's all worth it, they're so cool and make life so enjoyable!

My wife and I have two little kids and she lost the weight both times. It took her about 8-9 months to take it all off, but after eating healthy and working out consistently she has gotten back to her pre-pregnancy weight. It's not impossible, it's definitely hard as she says, but it's not impossible.

I knew years ago that I would want kids later in life and when I met my wife we both agreed that we wanted kids after a few years of marriage and enjoying time to ourselves. It's worked out great and wouldn't change a thing!

Hildy_J

Just out of interest... I wonder how many people advising 'Don't have them if you're not 100% sure!' already have kids, themselves?

You don't actually need to be 100% sure. How could anyone be? It's a leap into the unknown. I used to vascillate between 'yes I definitely do' and 'forget it, this is NOT for me'. Even when I was pregnant - then the guilt over THAT.... I'm over it, now.

I had one friend in my life who genuinely regretted having her children. The rest haven't. I have the odd moment myself when I'm not sure I want them... usually when they're snapping my head off while making the house a mess.

mrshudson813

From the sound of your post, you really have a lot going through your head. First, if you really truly want to have a child, you won't care what it does to you mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. When someone wants a baby, they want a baby. Period. On another note, I think you have major body image issues. I don't mean that in a hurtful manner, either. Regardless of the title of this post, someone who is that uncomfortable in their skin really needs to deal with their issues before making any major life decisions. I know how hard it is to lose weight and then be terrified to gain it back. With that being said, the fear of gaining weight should not stop you from living your dreams. I would rather be slightly overweight and happy than thin and miserable. As for gaining weight during pregnancy...it happens. Right now, I am trying to lose 100 pounds so I am in tip top shape...and then I plan on getting pregnant again. Babies need a healthy body to grow in and I know that right now, my body is not the best place for a child to grow. Once I get all of the excess weight off, hopefully I will get pregnant and yes, gain some weight back. But I'm willing to do that because I love my kids and I want another one.

Lobster1987

You don't need a reason to not have kids, you need a reason to have them.

I had them because I wanted to have that particular kind of love in my life, I want adult children when I'm old, and I predicted that my partner would be a great mom and have beautiful babies (both turned out to be true). They are expensive and inconvenient and needy and I'm OK with that because I love them and I get a whole lot of intangible good out of our relationship and they push me to be my best.

If that stuff, or your version of that stuff, does not outweigh the potential to put on some pounds - no, don't have kids. And don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decision, because it's none of their business.

I love this!