Kids or no kids?

dbanks80

Having kids......Overrated!!!!

wilsoje74

If you are not sure, don't do it then. I have 2 and my stomach is fine.

keem88

i think if you have to post something about not being sure if you want kids in a forum to strangers online, well then you probably already know the answer.
you don't want to do anything that you will regret, or end up resenting your kids later on.
i am childless by choice, because i love my sleep and being able to do whatever i want with freedom, not having to worry about taking care of another life. when i am in my 30s maybe that will change, but right now i would be super pissed if i ended up pregnant.
if it is only a weight thing, and you are financially stable and have the time for kids, why not adopt or be a foster parent? that's my plan for when i decide to finally stop wanting to do things for myself. but right now, that isn't the life for me and that's okay.

ballerina_tea

I like kids, but I can't eat a whole one in one sitting.

Hey nothing wrong with sharing.

keem88

You don't have to get fat just because you have a baby. Just don't overeat while you are pregnant. Yes, you will gain weight. There is another human in there, after all. But if you eat sensibly most of the gain will not be fat and you should lose the weight quickly once the child is born.

yes agreed. people take it as an excuse to overeat because they are eating for two. you only need an extra 300 calories in the last trimeseter so there really is no reason that the weight couldn't come off after the pregnancy.

k8blujay2

If you want kids have kids... there is no guarantee that you will gain weight enough to become "fat"... I, myself, only gained 11 pounds and every one of those pounds were baby, uterus, etc. needed for the actual pregnancy. I have a friend right now in her second trimester who looks amazing and isn't gaining that much weight either... at least not noticably... anyway, there is no way to know whether or not you will gain weight or even get fat until it's happening and even then you can control it to an extent through diet and exercise... Just as you do now.

With all that, if you don't want to have kids then don't.

SoDamnHungry

Its more difficult to live with Regret of something you wish you had done. If you truly want children, you will not think, can i afford them, will i lose my figure, will they be ugly looking, healthy. You get the idea. Live for what you want , don't live regretting things you wished you would have done.

Disagree with the affording part. People who let their kids live in squalor and on food stamps because they could barely afford themselves before pregnancy are crappy parents and annoying citizens. Also disagree on the health. People who are carriers for genetic disorders SHOULD consider that when having children as that's in the child's best interest. Disregarding things like that just because "I really want a child!" makes someone selfish.

Beckboo0912

it is totally ok to not want to have kids...I didn't and then I got pregnant and it's hard, I love my son but it's hard to be a parent everyday and put someone elses needs before your own sometimes. I love kids, I work with them daily but having your own it totally different...so not having kids is a choice you have to make. If it happens enjoy it but if it doesn't enjoy that too.

Myhaloslipped

I'm terrified of getting fat from pregnancy, but if I marry my current boyfriend, I think it would be amazing to have children with him. He would make a great father.

Grimmerick

If you "don't know" and aren't 100% sure, DON'T HAVE KIDS.

Seriously. The fact that you had to ask, just don't.

I have to say I don't agree, my mother didn't know if she wanted kids when she got pregnant, but said after she had us she definately wanted us and is an experience she would never change, she also is/was an excellent mother and I really wouldn't trade her for any other mother on the planet. How about if you don't have a job or means to support a child, are addicted to drugs, abuse anything, or only care about and take care of yourself DONT HAVE KIDS. Just because someone isn't sure if they want kids doesn't mean they don't want kids or wouldn't be an awesome parent. It's a hell of a lot of responsibility of course some people (ESPECIALLY responsible ones that would probably make great parents) would waiver back and forth in their thought process about it, at least it shows they care about the decision and it's important to them. Life's important decisions are not black and white, and there isn't always an easy answer that you're 100% sure about.

Glad that your mother says it worked out for her. I still stand by what I said and I completely disagree with you.

what are your reasons for completely disagreeing? also if someone isn't 100% sure and they accidently get pregnant should they have an abortion because they aren't sure? This isn't a perfect world and people accidently get pregnant all the time so that would be a lot of abortions if you have to be 100%.

I would agree with you but that would be in a perfect world. I wish it were that easy

Accidental pregnancy is completely different than purposely getting pregnant when unsure if a baby is even wanted.

okay I'll take that off the table for now and swing back around and pick it up after you tell me, what were your reasons for completely disagreeing? You skipped over that part.

I'm working, my answers will be short.

I believe that you should be 100% sure before deciding to purposefully bring a human being into this world. If something like getting fat (which is what OP is concerned about here) matters enough to make you unsure, then I don't believe that person should have children.

I do agree that the OP prob shouldn't have kids until she works that out, However I don't believe you have to be 100% sure you want to have kids before you do it. As long as you know that you want to have kids more than you don't, it's ok to be a little unsure it's a big decision and only natural to be apprehensive to an experience/huge responsibility you have never had before as long as you know what you have to do when you have them and are willing to make the commitment to do it, that you will be willing to love, take care of and raise them into contributing members of society. Just because someone isn't 100% sure because they are nervous or apprehensive doesn't mean they won't make a great parent. Besides that 100% can change to not 100% after you have them. There are no certainties in life.

astartig

If you "don't know" and aren't 100% sure, DON'T HAVE KIDS.

Seriously. The fact that you had to ask, just don't.

^this. there is no societal obligation to have kids. if you don't want kids from the very depth of your soul to the point nothing else matters then they aren't for you. No shame in it. nothing wrong with you for it. It's ok to be childfree.

If you want to have some kid exposure volunteer with them. do a little spoiling.

astartig

If you "don't know" and aren't 100% sure, DON'T HAVE KIDS.

Seriously. The fact that you had to ask, just don't.

I have to say I don't agree, my mother didn't know if she wanted kids when she got pregnant, but said after she had us she definately wanted us and is an experience she would never change, she also is/was an excellent mother and I really wouldn't trade her for any other mother on the planet. How about if you don't have a job or means to support a child, are addicted to drugs, abuse anything, or only care about and take care of yourself DONT HAVE KIDS. Just because someone isn't sure if they want kids doesn't mean they don't want kids or wouldn't be an awesome parent. It's a hell of a lot of responsibility of course some people (ESPECIALLY responsible ones that would probably make great parents) would waiver back and forth in their thought process about it, at least it shows they care about the decision and it's important to them. Life's important decisions are not black and white, and there isn't always an easy answer that you're 100% sure about.

Glad that your mother says it worked out for her. I still stand by what I said and I completely disagree with you.

what are your reasons for completely disagreeing? also if someone isn't 100% sure and they accidently get pregnant should they have an abortion because they aren't sure? This isn't a perfect world and people accidently get pregnant all the time so that would be a lot of abortions if you have to be 100%.

I would agree with you but that would be in a perfect world. I wish it were that easy

Accidental pregnancy is completely different than purposely getting pregnant when unsure if a baby is even wanted.

okay I'll take that off the table for now and swing back around and pick it up after you tell me, what were your reasons for completely disagreeing? You skipped over that part.

I'm working, my answers will be short.

I believe that you should be 100% sure before deciding to purposefully bring a human being into this world. If something like getting fat (which is what OP is concerned about here) matters enough to make you unsure, then I don't believe that person should have children.

I do agree that the OP prob shouldn't have kids until she works that out, However I don't believe you have to be 100% sure you want to have kids before you do it. As long as you know that you want to have kids more than you don't, it's ok to be a little unsure it's a big decision and only natural to be apprehensive to an experience/huge responsibility you have never had before as long as you know what you have to do when you have them and are willing to make the commitment to do it, that you will be willing to love, take care of and raise them into contributing members of society. Just because someone isn't 100% sure because they are nervous or apprehensive doesn't mean they won't make a great parent. Besides that 100% can change to not 100% after you have them. There are no certainties in life.

meh, there are a lot of bad parents out there. People always make excuses and try to cajole everyone into having them but some people really just should NOT be parents. a lot of societies ills are because of this. I think people should have a lot LESS children than then do. If there is any doubt in your mind I don't see why you should do it..

cdcooper321

There are really no words anyone can give for your situation. However, a child doesn't make you "fat" anymore than a cheeseburger does.

the end.

MeepleMuppet

The actual act of giving birth and breast feeding/pumping (if you can) does wonders for the weight. It's not all of it and life IS NOT the same afterward, but as someone who didn't want kids until I was told I couldn't have them, I can tell you once you do, all of your priorities change. Things you cared about just don't seem that important anymore. It's hard, and educate yourself on postpartum depression, but you may also experience profoundly deep love and joy. I can understand cultural pressure, so identify your support group, educate yourself on the process (physical and mental, parenthood is a trial), and follow your heart.

knittnponder

It's okay not to want to have kids. I had three kids and then thought I was done. I got motivated and lost almost 50 pounds and was so happy with how I was progressing. Then I found out I was pregnant and I cried. I'll be honest that it took me a little time to come to grips with the situation because I really was ready to be done having kids. When I went to my first appointment and heard that little heart beat it was love at first listen though and after that I was fine. I'm still working on losing and being healthy but that has nothing to do with the beautiful little girl I have and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Grimmerick

If you "don't know" and aren't 100% sure, DON'T HAVE KIDS.

Seriously. The fact that you had to ask, just don't.

I have to say I don't agree, my mother didn't know if she wanted kids when she got pregnant, but said after she had us she definately wanted us and is an experience she would never change, she also is/was an excellent mother and I really wouldn't trade her for any other mother on the planet. How about if you don't have a job or means to support a child, are addicted to drugs, abuse anything, or only care about and take care of yourself DONT HAVE KIDS. Just because someone isn't sure if they want kids doesn't mean they don't want kids or wouldn't be an awesome parent. It's a hell of a lot of responsibility of course some people (ESPECIALLY responsible ones that would probably make great parents) would waiver back and forth in their thought process about it, at least it shows they care about the decision and it's important to them. Life's important decisions are not black and white, and there isn't always an easy answer that you're 100% sure about.

Glad that your mother says it worked out for her. I still stand by what I said and I completely disagree with you.

what are your reasons for completely disagreeing? also if someone isn't 100% sure and they accidently get pregnant should they have an abortion because they aren't sure? This isn't a perfect world and people accidently get pregnant all the time so that would be a lot of abortions if you have to be 100%.

I would agree with you but that would be in a perfect world. I wish it were that easy

Accidental pregnancy is completely different than purposely getting pregnant when unsure if a baby is even wanted.

okay I'll take that off the table for now and swing back around and pick it up after you tell me, what were your reasons for completely disagreeing? You skipped over that part.

I'm working, my answers will be short.

I believe that you should be 100% sure before deciding to purposefully bring a human being into this world. If something like getting fat (which is what OP is concerned about here) matters enough to make you unsure, then I don't believe that person should have children.

I do agree that the OP prob shouldn't have kids until she works that out, However I don't believe you have to be 100% sure you want to have kids before you do it. As long as you know that you want to have kids more than you don't, it's ok to be a little unsure it's a big decision and only natural to be apprehensive to an experience/huge responsibility you have never had before as long as you know what you have to do when you have them and are willing to make the commitment to do it, that you will be willing to love, take care of and raise them into contributing members of society. Just because someone isn't 100% sure because they are nervous or apprehensive doesn't mean they won't make a great parent. Besides that 100% can change to not 100% after you have them. There are no certainties in life.

meh, there are a lot of bad parents out there. People always make excuses and try to cajole everyone into having them but some people really just should NOT be parents. a lot of societies ills are because of this. I think people should have a lot LESS children than then do. If there is any doubt in your mind I don't see why you should do it..

I am more concerned with people that just plain shouldn't reproduce than people that just aren't 100%. Drug addicts, people that can't support children, people with a history of abusing. Those are the kinds of people that should just say no to kids. This is really where societies ills comes from.

seltzermint555

I do not want kids, ever, and I am never having them.

It has absolutely nothing to do w/ weight or body changes for me though, and everything to do with the fact that I just do not want to become a mom. Ever. Period.

ETA: I get annoyed sometimes when everything about women losing weight in their 30's centers around losing "that baby weight", because I've always been overweight. Guess I am trying to lose that "McDonald's Happy Meals in the 80's when I was a kid" weight.

ItsCasey

You don't really need a reason, in my opinion. Better not to have a kid (for any reason) than to be a ****ty parent.

Right now, I don't want to have kids because I have yet to meet a man I would even consider taking on the enormous responsibility of raising a child with. But I'm fully open to the idea that I might meet someone who makes me think "Yes, I want to have babies with this man." At that point, I won't care about what it does to my body. If that happens, great. If it doesn't, it's really not anybody else's business.

IndianMuslim

Best response: ElBence :flowerforyou:

ItsCasey

I'm working, my answers will be short.

I believe that you should be 100% sure before deciding to purposefully bring a human being into this world. If something like getting fat (which is what OP is concerned about here) matters enough to make you unsure, then I don't believe that person should have children.

Completely agree with you. It's one thing to think you don't want kids, find out you're pregnant, and change your mind. It's entirely another to make the conscious decision to have a child when something like getting fat matters that much to you.