doing it "right" getting nowhere

_HeartsOnFire_

ok. eat more, log faithfully. i get that. i'll do it and pray i don't drive myself crazy. i'm so sorry i offended all of you. i really didn't mean to. i'm new to message boards clearly and take things too personally. i guess i was looking to hear if what i was trying was on the right track and didn't expect quite the passion y'all have for making sure everything is done a certain way. i'm so so sorry.

My tips for surviving the message boards.
1) Read everything with an open mind.
2) Realize no one is judging you, except yourself.
3) Don't take anything personally, everyone is just trying to help.
4) Advice can vary and will only be as good as the info that is given. This is why you have to give as much truthful info as possible.
5) If you start getting upset by something you read, see #1, #2 and #3. Rinse and repeat.

I forgot rule #6 the MOST important one...If you don't really want advice or help, then don't ask. If you only want to hear things that coddle you, enable you, or you have tunnel hearing...again, don't ask.

jonnythan

I have now officially spent too much time down in the gutter arguing with unsuccessful people who are not doing the things they need to be doing, but are super argumentative and whiny regardless.

I am now going to go do some deadlifts then eat a dinner and dessert that I've carefully weighed and logged. I will then continue being wildly successful, as I have been for quite some time now.

I shall lead by example, and hope the OP follows.

_HeartsOnFire_

Weight loss is calories in vs calories out plain and simple if you do not know how many calories are going in no matter where you log it , on here or on paper, in a note book, on a mirror, on a boat, in a moat, you cannot accurately know what's going wrong!!!!!

Stop with your logic!!!

_HeartsOnFire_

I have now officially spent too much time down in the gutter arguing with unsuccessful people who are not doing the things they need to be doing, but are super argumentative and whiny regardless.

I am now going to go do some deadlifts then eat a dinner and dessert that I've carefully weighed and logged. I will then continue being wildly successful, as I have been for quite some time now.

I shall lead by example, and hope the OP follows.

Again, high five!!!

EvgeniZyntx

OP, I'm positively impressed that you've done a 180 turn on your attitude and are listening to some advice from people willing to put in the time to help you.

You've got this. Listen and learn.

My only additional advice is that weight loss has a huge psychological factor that not only directly affects adherence but also thr weight loss itself (UVA sleep, hormones, etc...) find your balance, relax, you aren't at the end if your rope. You will get this, sometimes it just takes time.

Good luck.

StarChanger

I just want to say I love my FL.

_HeartsOnFire_

OP, I'm positively impressed that you've done a 180 turn on your attitude and are listening to some advice from people willing to put in the time to help you.

You've got this. Listen and learn.

My only additional advice is that weight loss has a huge psychological factor that not only directly affects adherence but also thr weight loss itself (UVA sleep, hormones, etc...) find your balance, relax, you aren't at the end if your rope. You will get this, sometimes it just takes time.

Good luck.

She's now done a 360! That was the fastest 180 and then 180 again ever...

Contrarian

So, OP, you have received some wonderful advice here. The first thing you have to do is start logging everything. That's the only thing you have to change today. Start logging, to ensure you are at a calorie deficit.

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

The people here are taking the time to reply to you because they don't want you to fail. Caring is expressed in different ways. By bothering to respond, instead of just ignoring your thread, these people have shown you that they care and they think you can succeed.

_HeartsOnFire_

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

She'll come back, post another thread, get great advice and still not listen to it.

Contrarian

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

She'll come back, post another thread, get great advice and still not listen to it.

Maybe. Or maybe if she takes the advice that was given, it will be a success story. Being an optimist is exhausting, sometimes, but I am what I am.

Cranquistador

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

She'll come back, post another thread, get great advice and still not listen to it.

ok now that was unnecessary. Hopefully she does not.

_HeartsOnFire_

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

She'll come back, post another thread, get great advice and still not listen to it.

Maybe. Or maybe if she takes the advice that was given, it will be a success story. Being an optimist is exhausting, sometimes, but I am what I am.

And I agree, but she's already went back to her original stance.

Contrarian

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

She'll come back, post another thread, get great advice and still not listen to it.

Maybe. Or maybe if she takes the advice that was given, it will be a success story. Being an optimist is exhausting, sometimes, but I am what I am.

And I agree, but she's already went back to her original stance.

Let's just hope she proves you wrong. It could totally happen.

Yanicka1

So, OP, you have received some wonderful advice here. The first thing you have to do is start logging everything. That's the only thing you have to change today. Start logging, to ensure you are at a calorie deficit.

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

The people here are taking the time to reply to you because they don't want you to fail. Caring is expressed in different ways. By bothering to respond, instead of just ignoring your thread, these people have shown you that they care and they think you can succeed.

I love you

highervibes

The body keeps an accurate diary no matter what you write down. It doesn't sound like you're ready to admit you're not a special snowflake so I recommend getting your thyroid checked, that MUST be it.

ArroganceInStep

you guys are hilarious. someone comes on for support and you do nothing but try to tear them to shreds.

Oh, support? I thought you wanted advice. I thought you wanted to understand what you were doing wrong.

You want support instead? OK.

You are doing everything right, honey. The world is conspiring against you and your genes and the universe and gluten and food addiction all have it in for you. You keep trying, dear. You're doing fine, even though you're failing miserably at your goals. Just keep doing what you're doing, because you're awesome and pretty and perfect and important.

If you decide you actually want to progress and achieve your goals, then we can talk, but you might not like what you hear because it will involve you changing something and admitting to yourself that you might not be comfortable hearing.

other than eating more, what do you suggest i change?

Log consistently over time. A week, week and a half of logging is not enough data. Log your food accurately using a food scale, enter calorie burns in a reasonable manner (yours look much, much higher than reasonable), and hit your goal consistently.

have you taken a spin class at a sustained 160-180bpm? done the JMBR workouts at 150-175 bpm sustained? as a 180 pound woman? i'm fairly confident in my burns. i will give the logging more time, because i do want to see if eating more helps.

I weigh over 100 lbs more than you and am male and younger, I MIGHT burn that much doing those activities, but it's unlikely.

HRMs are rated for jogging outdoors. Not intervals, not treadmills with your hands on the railing, not exercise videos, not weight lifting or resistance training. Even then, it's based off estimates, generalizations to be 'kinda close' for as many people as possible. There's a VERY high possibility your burns are inaccurate. That's not to say you aren't working hard or burning a lot, but rather that the technology isn't designed for what you're asking it to do.

_HeartsOnFire_

Do that for a month. Then, please start another thread if you are still struggling, and you will get help. Support here isn't always a pat on the back - sometimes, it is a wake up call. Don't beat yourself up, and don't apologise any more. Just agree to accept the advice you have been given and use it.

She'll come back, post another thread, get great advice and still not listen to it.

Maybe. Or maybe if she takes the advice that was given, it will be a success story. Being an optimist is exhausting, sometimes, but I am what I am.

And I agree, but she's already went back to her original stance.

Let's just hope she proves you wrong. It could totally happen.

We can only hope. :flowerforyou:

jehavin

Normally I would agree with the above posters about not being accurate BUT I do agree with a couple of "been there, done that" nursing mothers who have chimed in. I am nursing a 4 month old and have a similar story about how I lost all my weight quickly and have stalled despite several different calorie config. At first I was trying to eat above maintenance (plus 500 for nursing) and *lo and behold despite the "calories in, calories out method* DID NOT GAIN. I was then at maintenance for about 2 months and stayed the same. I then dropped by 300 cals a day (netting 1700-1800) and DID NOT LOSE. And I log consistently. Everything. I just reached 250 days straight, minus 1 cheat day a week.
My point is that, while you obviously need to log to be certain of the calories you're eating, the nursing body is a phenomenon in every way, especially when it comes to weight loss/gain. This is my fourth baby that I have nursed and I have found that I stay the same weight until I stop nursing. Although exercise is necessary for my mental health/energy/levels/body comp, I've learned not to rely on it or food logging for weight loss while nursing. As long as I'm not consistently OVER my calorie goals, I know that I will pretty much stay the same weight. It is frustrating, and I have found myself wishing I could *actively* lose weight, but then I remember that what I am doing while nursing (and being at the sadistic whims of my hormones) is the most important thing right now and that it doesn't matter if I feel "fat." (I remember you said that earlier in the thread and I can relate to that, although I am at a healthy BMI and only have about 5 more pounds to lose so I know I am not fat.)

If you are ready to log consistently and get positive feedback/encouragement (no attention for whining, though,) feel free to add me as a friend!

FlaxMilk

OP, to answer the question you've mentioned the last couple of pages, no, you probably don't need to eat more. I agree with those who suggest start with logging every day, and if you don't lose or even gain, reevaluate your burns.

But I saw you mention anorexia, getting OCD about your logging, PCOS, pregnancy/delivery, breastfeeding, having lost weight successfully, and an awful lot of exercising. My main question is-are you under the care of a doctor? Consider working with a doctor who takes an integrated approach to health-diet, fitness, medicine when appropriate, mental health therapy when needed, stress management. I am not trying to judge you, but the common theme in your posts seems to be that you are not truly content in your approach to your health. Whether your maintenance is caused by inaccurate logging or burns, or a lower metabolism due to your medical conditions (even if your HRM was right in the past, I could imagine pregnancy and breastfeeding could be a change variable especially with PCOS), if you are doing everything right and getting nowhere, doesn't it make sense to get a professional on board with you?

jehavin

OP, to answer the question you've mentioned the last couple of pages, no, you probably don't need to eat more. I agree with those who suggest start with logging every day, and if you don't lose or even gain, reevaluate your burns.

But I saw you mention anorexia, getting OCD about your logging, PCOS, pregnancy/delivery, breastfeeding, having lost weight successfully, and an awful lot of exercising. My main question is-are you under the care of a doctor? Consider working with a doctor who takes an integrated approach to health-diet, fitness, medicine when appropriate, mental health therapy when needed, stress management. I am not trying to judge you, but the common theme in your posts seems to be that you are not truly content in your approach to your health. Whether your maintenance is caused by inaccurate logging or burns, or a lower metabolism due to your medical conditions (even if your HRM was right in the past, I could imagine pregnancy and breastfeeding could be a change variable especially with PCOS), if you are doing everything right and getting nowhere, doesn't it make sense to get a professional on board with you?

Totally agree. It sounds like you feel very stressed/anxious about this. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a doctor about everything that's going on, including how much you exercise, to see if he/she has some suggestions.