Skinny/Fit people trying to have Fat people problems

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  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    Hi. I'm Mr. Six pack from the other thread you are talking about. Until the last couple of years I have always been in the extremely overweight/obese category. I apologize for making you feel bad or what you would consider fat shaming. This was nowhere close to the purpose of the thread. My body is relatively new to me and I'm still trying to find my bearings with it after all the hard work I put in. Until recently I was shy to even take my shirt off at the beach or a pool. This is all new to me and I thought my question was valid as to what is acceptable and not douchy to do. You will have to excuse me while I learn.

    So Mr Six Pack is a measured, calm, rational man with self-awareness, bags of humility AND a six pack? Is that even possible? :love:
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    I think the point is not who feels insecure and who does not, but how considerate you are of others around you. I have a similar situation with a friend who went from a size 6 (her fat clothes) to a 2. She refers to her fat all the time, points out tiny rolls and complains of "saddle bags" while in tiny, tight running clothes. She chooses to make these complaints in a room filled with women whose "skinny clothes" are a size 14. She won't hesitate to tell everyone how far she ran, how much time she spends at boot camp, etc. Is this person really that clueless, stupid or rude? Save these complaints for your therapist or your boyfriend. I believe she has a lot of issues and is looking for people to compliment her.
    Choose your audience carefully, you might be offending someone by what you say.
    Or maybe, just maybe she sees the women in the room as just other women. Equals that share her pain. I have been accused of this. I like to talk about my workouts. I have stopped pointing out flaws on my body because I believe its detrimental to my emotional health. But just because they see me as different doesn't mean I see them as different. I don't judge people by their size so Im hoping they don't judge me by mine.

    Same here. I don't really notice when anyone else gains or loses weight, because I don't scrutinize or judge them. I accept them for what and who they are.

    By the same token, years ago, I didn't notice when my father's hair went from black to grey, until someone bought him one of those joke baseball-hats-with-a-ponytail one Christmas, and my first thought was, "Why did they buy a grey one? Dad's hair is black!" Second thought, "Holy crap... it's a perfect match."

    Meanwhile, I'm annoyed at every single frickin' grey hair that pops up on my OWN head, just the same as I notice when I gain a few pounds and my pants are too tight. I don't notice or care when my husband's pants get too tight, because I'm not the one zipping them up. (Down? Sometimes. :wink: ) But I feel like a big ol' tub of lard when I have to wiggle and bounce to get my jeans up.

    I'm a terribly judgmental person, but only when it comes to judging myself. The takeaway lesson here, I suppose, is that I should really learn to treat myself as considerately as I do other people I care about. :ohwell:
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    I won't wear a bikini but am told I should, doesn't mean I'm having fat people problems, just means I've never warn one before because I never had the confidence to do so. I've been obese/over weight all my life and now I'm not, my mind takes time to catch on. I know I am getting close to where I think my body might be acceptable to wear a bikini but it's a confidence thing.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,224 Member
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    I hope when you reach your goal that you don't have skinny/fit people that used to be fat but aren't anymore problems. If you read these responses (and a multitude of posts in these forums) with an ounce of human compassion rather than disdain and contempt, you might just possibly see that skinny/fit people that used to be fat but aren't anymore have emotional struggles too. And believe it or not, they aren't about you or anyone else and they aren't intended to "shame" anyone. For me, it's the struggle of learning to live a very different life in a stranger's body. This is something so many people can't understand, but many on mfp do. I'm sorry if it offends you that I am having emotional struggles with this part of the process, despite the fact that I wear a size 6.
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,495 Member
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    Hi. I'm Mr. Six pack from the other thread you are talking about. Until the last couple of years I have always been in the extremely overweight/obese category. I apologize for making you feel bad or what you would consider fat shaming. This was nowhere close to the purpose of the thread. My body is relatively new to me and I'm still trying to find my bearings with it after all the hard work I put in. Until recently I was shy to even take my shirt off at the beach or a pool. This is all new to me and I thought my question was valid as to what is acceptable and not douchy to do. You will have to excuse me while I learn.

    Is there a Mrs. Six-Pack...? :love:
  • vanillacoffee
    vanillacoffee Posts: 1,024 Member
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    For instance: one guy on here, who is really fit, 6 pack and all, is asking if he should run shirtless or not.

    I'm fat I would never think of running shirtless.

    So, why make fat people feel bad when you question your six pack body to go on a shirtless run?

    Because people's self-esteem isnt dependent on weight. It's all relative.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I think the point is not who feels insecure and who does not, but how considerate you are of others around you. I have a similar situation with a friend who went from a size 6 (her fat clothes) to a 2. She refers to her fat all the time, points out tiny rolls and complains of "saddle bags" while in tiny, tight running clothes. She chooses to make these complaints in a room filled with women whose "skinny clothes" are a size 14. She won't hesitate to tell everyone how far she ran, how much time she spends at boot camp, etc. Is this person really that clueless, stupid or rude? Save these complaints for your therapist or your boyfriend. I believe she has a lot of issues and is looking for people to compliment her.
    Choose your audience carefully, you might be offending someone by what you say.
    Or maybe, just maybe she sees the women in the room as just other women. Equals that share her pain. I have been accused of this. I like to talk about my workouts. I have stopped pointing out flaws on my body because I believe its detrimental to my emotional health. But just because they see me as different doesn't mean I see them as different. I don't judge people by their size so Im hoping they don't judge me by mine.
    THIS if I'm complaining about something on my body, or my looks.. It's my thoughts about myself. I'm not projecting it on anybody else. And I should have every right to say what I feel as somebody who may be heavier.
    MY thoughts on MY self have NOTHING to do with anybody else. Because to be honest I think most people look beautiful as they are.
  • JaneAero
    JaneAero Posts: 94 Member
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    Im very happy to share MFp with skinny and healthy people who are monitoring their health, fitness and weight. If id doen the same thing when I was slim, fit and young then I wouldnt be the heffalump I am now, so all power to them for having self control, awareness and the desire to stay in shape before it spirals out of control
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    Is there a Mrs. Six-Pack...? :love:

    Back off Sister.... I saw him first.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    I think that you are projecting your own insecurities.
  • mag131
    mag131 Posts: 542 Member
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    What if I'm a fat girl trapped inside a skinny/fit girl's body? Am I allowed to have fat people problems then?

    The brain doesn't always match up with the body. I look in the mirror and don't recognize the reflection as me yet. It's not all cut and dry.

    Get over your insecure self.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    What if I'm a fat girl trapped inside a skinny/fit girl's body? Am I allowed to have fat people problems then?

    The brain doesn't always match up with the body. I look in the mirror and don't recognize the reflection as me yet. It's not all cut and dry.

    Get over your insecure self.

    Need help with your body issues? :happy:
  • bigred503
    bigred503 Posts: 98
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    After two years of being heavy and wearing yoga pants, i was told that a coworker recieved a complaint about my new body in yoga pants. So now that im not heavy i dont have a right to be hurt that someone would even talk about my wardrobe? And i dont have a right to need understanding from a community that has experience with this or may be more aware of that type of ridicule?

    As a heavy individual, I wore yoga pants every day and would ask people if i was too heavy to wear them because i would hate the thought that someone would look at me and think "god, she should NOT be wearing those pants" and was VERY insecure about it. I am wearing the very same yoga pants, and now that im thinner people are supposedly saying that comment OUT LOUD... I think all my hard work has given me the right to be hurt and complain on my own mfp thread.
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,495 Member
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    Is there a Mrs. Six-Pack...? :love:

    Back off Sister.... I saw him first.

    :sad: :drinker:

    ETA: If he's in to running, a sloth and a mouse potato might not be his ideal partners! :laugh:
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
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    So I've learned in this thread, that even people who are in wonderful shape still have self esteem issues, and even if you're not in the greatest shape and working towards you don't have the market cornered on insecurities

    original.0

    Blossom_TVFlashbacks10VerySpecialEpisodes.jpg
  • mag131
    mag131 Posts: 542 Member
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    What if I'm a fat girl trapped inside a skinny/fit girl's body? Am I allowed to have fat people problems then?

    The brain doesn't always match up with the body. I look in the mirror and don't recognize the reflection as me yet. It's not all cut and dry.

    Get over your insecure self.

    Need help with your body issues? :happy:

    Lol. I'm sure you'd be a big help, but I think I'm going to annoy TheFatFox with my skinny/fat girl issues when they arise. :wink:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    rejected.jpg
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    For instance: one guy on here, who is really fit, 6 pack and all, is asking if he should run shirtless or not.

    I'm fat I would never think of running shirtless.

    So, why make fat people feel bad when you question your six pack body to go on a shirtless run?
    I think you might be taking things a little personally, most people aren't thinking about other people's bodies when they comment on their own.

    Like, I don't think my body is exactly where I want it to be yet, but in no way does that mean I'm trying to put down people who might be bigger than I am. If I was debating on wearing a sports bra only to work out in, I wouldn't intend to make people anyone else feel uncomfortable about their own body...it's just not related!

    :flowerforyou:
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    Ya know what???

    When I was 'bigger', when thinner people complained, sometimes I would say, see me when you are xxx pounds! I didn't always get it. However, now that I've lost a bunch of weight, I TOTALLY get it! It doesn't matter the size or shape of the individual, nearly everyone has an insecurity. I have about 20 pounds to go but I still feel like the 'fat' girl I was 115 pounds ago. As many others have stated, the mind takes a while to catch up to the body. I was speaking with one of my friends not too long ago and she said we may never mentally get there!

    So maybe, just maybe, we all need to learn to be more empathetic to others and their insecurities.

    Ummm.... Mr Six Pack.... I didn't see a response regarding if you're single... :love: :flowerforyou:
  • OnionMomma
    OnionMomma Posts: 938 Member
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    For instance: one guy on here, who is really fit, 6 pack and all, is asking if he should run shirtless or not.

    I'm fat I would never think of running shirtless.

    So, why make fat people feel bad when you question your six pack body to go on a shirtless run?
    Something to consider. Peoples insecurities are their own.
    I'm sure Mr. Six pack meant no disrespect.

    Just because you think Mr. six pack is in great shape and could get away with running shirtless, doesn't mean Mr. six pack sees it that way.

    Hi. I'm Mr. Six pack from the other thread you are talking about. Until the last couple of years I have always been in the extremely overweight/obese category. I apologize for making you feel bad or what you would consider fat shaming. This was nowhere close to the purpose of the thread. My body is relatively new to me and I'm still trying to find my bearings with it after all the hard work I put in. Until recently I was shy to even take my shirt off at the beach or a pool. This is all new to me and I thought my question was valid as to what is acceptable and not douchy to do. You will have to excuse me while I learn.

    +1 for answering him back in such an awesome way!

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