Strangers make fun of me when I'm out

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  • Oh_Allie
    Oh_Allie Posts: 258 Member
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    I get called nasty names all the time here. All the time. I learned to develop a thick skin and a sarcastic wit about it and in turn it makes the name-caller feel pretty stupid.

    Jerk: Hey, you're really fat! (or something to that effect)
    Me: Oh my gosh, I know, right?
    Jerk: Yeah, you're so fat and gross. (blah, blah)
    Me: I also have a really big nose. You totally forgot to insult my face. You're welcome.
    Jerk: ....
    Me: *walks away laughing*

    If you can steal their thunder, they have nothing except an idiotic look on their face.

    I refuse to accept insults from people that don't know me. They're pathetic people that need to lower other people to their level just to feel superior. They will NEVER be superior people.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    I was tortured for my weight in high school, and it's happened several times over the years since then. It makes you paranoid about going out in public, especially walking anywhere, and especially alone. Honestly, though, you don't even have to be that big for it to happen. And you definitely don't need to be unattractive for it to happen. It's no reflection on you whatsoever. These people are just *kitten*, usually showing off for their friends. It's their defect, not yours. Deep down, you know that.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    bump
  • peachesx186
    peachesx186 Posts: 18 Member
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    If I`ve ever gotten abusive comments about my weight, it`s always been from women. However, I get a whole different set of comments from men. I work in a bank, I do loans/mortgages/etc... It`s happened more than once where my male clients will say things like ``You`d be so pretty if you lost weight! Your face is beautiful!``. And one male client in particular...this 70 year old man told me he would ``really appreciate it if I made an effort to lose weight``.

    I still cringe.

    I wanted to scream I`M YOUR BANKER EFF OFF but I think I just gave this shaky smile, shook his hand and wished him a good day. WHO SAYS THAT.
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    Happy, content people don't feel the need to belittle others. Their insecurity is showing.


    You aren't responsible for the bad behavior of others. They might just as well be teasing someone for being too skinny, for having the wrong clothes, for having too many children, for being a different race than them, on and on - all of which would also be utter crap.

    You and your little one are both beautiful. Hold your head up and don't give them the power to make you cry or keep you captive in your home....it doesn't belong to them. Confidence, contentment, and health manifested in your own life can be the legacy you give your daughter.

    For the record, I started in June at a high weight of at least 348, being about your height....so much heavier than you are now. For that matter, I've lost almost 50 pounds and I'm still larger than you are. lol

    These bitter, small, mean-spirited people mean nothing.
  • BlisterLamb
    BlisterLamb Posts: 396 Member
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    When I was 285, I had three kids walk behind me down a sidewalk, oinking like pigs. I'm completely again child abuse, but it was tempting at the moment.
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    I have been called a fat whale, cow, horse ( I love horses so this made me snort). I have been told that I would be beautiful if only I lost weight. Lets just say I have had everything you can think of said to me about my weight. It hurt BADLY to have some of it come from family member. But now I just shrug it off and do my thing.

    But yes what asshats these people were to pick on you. Just know they must feel very poorly of themselves to pick on you! And you don't even look like a man!! You are very Beautiful! I just don't get people in general sometimes. Its like wtf, I don't know you so don't speak to me like that!

    I mean look at this world, everything on tv and in magazines are OBESE AND OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING AND UGLY!! WHILE SKINNY CURVY MODELS ARE THE NEW RAGE AND GORGEOUS!!

    When in fact polls have shown men want a woman with a little more meat on their bones :). SO BEAUTIFUL! you hold your head high and dry those tears! because these men don't know you and can say all the hateful stuff they want..because you are so BETTER than what they say!!
  • Tigerbell1221
    Tigerbell1221 Posts: 18
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    Well, you are obviously very beautiful judging by your picture and you sound like you're just as beautiful inside. Don't get discouraged. Keep up the good effort with your nutrition and weight loss for yourself and not for others. Some people are jerks and just want to make others feel bad because they hate themselves down deep inside. Truly, this is the absolute reason. If it wasn't your weight, it would be someone else's misfortune. They just have no life.......sad really. You sound amazing and I know you can kick some *kitten* on this program. You deserve it!!
  • IanBee93
    IanBee93 Posts: 237
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    This is why parents need to step up and teach our kids love and kindness. I challenge my kids every day to look for a way to be kind and then when I pick them up from school I ask what they did. We constantly tell our kids to be kind.

    For every mean person, there is 10 nice ones. Feel sorry for them, for their hearts are ugly, I'd much rather be nice, and kind, then thin, and ugly on the inside, they can't be happy, if they have to bring others down to get attention.

    Keep your head up, and be confident that YOU are a better person!

    I notice a lot of parents who are with their little kids, let them act out, and make nasty faces to strangers. They see their kid acting out, and being rude, and either ignore it, or smile at what they are doing. These are the kind of parents who are raising *kitten*
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    Douche bags are right. They were only making fun of you to make themselves feel better about how small their p€nises are.

    Don't let those clowns get to you...I know it is hard but don't shelter yourself because of people like that. I've been there and done that, believe me.....not worth it.

    Lose weight for YOU, not to impress anyone. Put yourself first and to hell with what people like that think! You are a very pretty girl btw :)

    Good luck to you...add me if you like :flowerforyou:
  • luulu1999
    luulu1999 Posts: 119
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    OMG how horrible, I am very over weight and I have not once heard such rude things come from people's mouth, I live in Southeast Missouri maybe we have a little more respect for others around here I don't know but that is just very rude, and I would say they try to make them self feel better by putting others down and I would not let them get to me
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
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    Some skinny little bimbos (wasn't going to use that particular b-word, but hey) of mixed gender decided it would be hilarious to take a video of me while doing the wobble, and elicit one of their males in the group to go dance with me, all for the purpose of making fun of me. I have a bit of an anger problem, so we had to leave to prevent me from legitimately beating faces in. Turns out one of my friends disappeared and put the wrath of God into them and watched them delete the video for threat of smashing their phone. I hate people.
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    Some skinny little bimbos (wasn't going to use that particular b-word, but hey) of mixed gender decided it would be hilarious to take a video of me while doing the wobble, and elicit one of their males in the group to go dance with me, all for the purpose of making fun of me. I have a bit of an anger problem, so we had to leave to prevent me from legitimately beating faces in. Turns out one of my friends disappeared and put the wrath of God into them and watched them delete the video for threat of smashing their phone. I hate people.

    I am the same way with my anger, I would have kicked me some bimbo *kitten* x3. I am working on that as I lose weight ;)
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    Some skinny little bimbos (wasn't going to use that particular b-word, but hey) of mixed gender decided it would be hilarious to take a video of me while doing the wobble, and elicit one of their males in the group to go dance with me, all for the purpose of making fun of me. I have a bit of an anger problem, so we had to leave to prevent me from legitimately beating faces in. Turns out one of my friends disappeared and put the wrath of God into them and watched them delete the video for threat of smashing their phone. I hate people.


    Hah....you sound like me!!!!!! You go girl!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    I think of it like this. These men are kind of like men who despise homosexuals. They are very cruel to them and even have resorted to killing gay men. Well, it's these cruel homophobic men who are themselves homosexuals and harm to repress their own sexual desires.

    Men like this are fatphobic, cruel, but find themselves very sexually attracted to larger women. They go out of their way to suppress their desires, and to fit in with the boys. It's an abusive cycle, and when they see a very attractive large woman (with ample breasts and a large behind) they cant suppress their desire, and due to that feeling of control loss they turn it into rage. What perfect way to ensure your fantasy remains around then knock an innocent woman down forcing her to drown her emotions in food, and get bigger.

    The next time it happens. Smile to yourself and think "oh hell no youre never getting down my pants."

    People who dont care. Dont comment.

    Yep, I tend to think this too.
  • bbg_daryl
    bbg_daryl Posts: 150 Member
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    On average, ideal weight for someone my height is 115-125 pounds. Even when I was within that range, I was being called fat. In fact, I have been called fat and ugly every single day of my life for the past 20 years. End result? I hate the entire human race, save for my parents, my husband, and my only friend. However, I try not to let that stop me from enjoying my life. That's the entire reason why people bully, is to make you feel like ****. So if they get any hint that they've succeeded, they're encouraged to keep doing it. It's a boost to their own self-esteem.

    So, even when you want to just give up, break down, hide in your house forever... DON'T. Because that just makes you more and more miserable. Go out and do as you please with your head held high. Exude confidence, even if it's all an act. People think twice about insulting someone who seems to happy with themselves.

    And when people /do/ insult you, don't be the bigger person. Don't let yourself appear angry or insulted, but don't just let them get away with it either. Make sure you give a retort and do so LOUDLY so that everyone around you knows that the person you're addressing is a jerk who just insulted you unjustly. Make a spectacle of it as much as you feel comfortable with. Point out how mature it is of them as a grown man/woman to be name calling like a child. Apologize to them for how horrible their life must be that they have to harm others to feel better (my personal favorite: "I'm so sorry that Mommy didn't hug you enough.").

    Just like you don't being humiliated, bullies don't like it either. So put them in their place the same way that they tried to do to you. Then walk away, head still high, and forget about them completely. Because even the few seconds you gave them is more than they deserve.
  • LYNN8SUPERSTARZS
    LYNN8SUPERSTARZS Posts: 21 Member
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    iM 5 8 AND I WAS 286LBS ABOUT A YEAR AGO. THE FUNNY THING IS PEOPLE DIDNT REALLY GIVE ME A HARD TIME UNTIL I LOST THE WEIGHT. WHEN I WAS HEAVY I COULD WALK AROUND AND NOBODY PAID ANY ATTENTION TO ME. NOW THAT I HAVE TAKEN OFF THE WEIGHT I GET ALOT OF PEOPLE ASUMING I HAD GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY,LIPO AND ALL SORT OF THINGS WHICH IS A INSULT BECAUSE I HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL. PEOPLE JUDGE ME BEFORE I OPEN MY MOUTH, THEY ASSUME IM SHALLOW...........
  • snorlax123
    snorlax123 Posts: 3
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    OP, I'm sorry that happened to you :( I don't understand how people can be so mean sometimes. No one has ever said anything mean to me before but when my mother decided to start losing weight she was out walking and a couple guys drove by and yelled "you got a long way to go!" and drove off laughing. Jokes on them though because about 9 months later she ended up losing 100 lbs :3
  • chubendale
    chubendale Posts: 5 Member
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    "The emptiest drums make the most noise."
    I feel sad that you have to deal with idiots that try to make themselves feel better by belittling one facet of a multifaceted diamond. Unfortunately it happens to a lot of us. I have had my boss tell me that I need to work out. I have had a man who works under me make humiliating comments about my weight in a room full of employees. FIND PEOPLE THAT WILL LIFT YOU UP, SUPPORT YOU, AND LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE! That is the only way to have balance in your life. You must balance the negative with ten times as much positive. If you want to change your outward appearance you are in the right place, BUT, do it for you, NOT because some jerk doesn't like one aspect about you.

    We can never have too many Friends here on MFP. Feel free to send me a Friend Request if you would like too.
  • HRLaurie614
    HRLaurie614 Posts: 260 Member
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    I'm so sorry. No one should be treated this way. I was teased horribly when I was younger. Called ugly and what not. It hurts to the core. Even now, at 45, I find it so hard to walk away from those feelings.

    One of my favorite movie lines is from Pretty Woman. Vivian and Edward are lying in bed talking.he tells her that she has many wonderful qualities (those aren't the exact words). And, she says "The bad stuff is easier to believe".

    I still struggle with this stuff. I've had some stuff going on at work that has been frustrating. Even though, I know I'm good at what I do and have had stellar reviews, this last few weeks have been drumming up those old feelings. I thought Ion ER and over, don't just hear the bad stuff.

    So chin up. People who make these comments are just mean. They are sad. They lash out because they feel insecure.

    Hugs.

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